EPISODE 153: ” FATA – Fear, Anxiety, Tension, And Anger – Part 2″
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In this episode, I continue what I started in the last one and I quickly address FATA, some causes, and how to live a better life without them.
For the most part, most people are living their daily lives full of any or all of these to some degree and they can be deadly to our health.
Medical research has shown that around 90% of all illness is stress-related and stress comes from a variation of these four things.
In this episode, I briefly address each one and the potential causes.
What causes fear?
I talk about two categories of fear, physical and psychological, and what causes them and what drives them.
Surprise, to a large degree they are driven by the issue to control something, someone, or some outcome in life.
What causes Anxiety?
I address two categories of anxiety, brain-based and psychological and my bout with brain-based anxiety, depression, and anxiety generally speaking.
Surprise, to a large degree, general anxiety is called by control issues. Specifically, trying to control an outcome.
What causes tension?
Basically, tension is wrapped around unresolved issues. It’s intertwined with something where we don’t know the outcome or what’s going to happen and that causes tension within us.
Surprise, to a large degree tension is driven by control issues.
What causes anger?
Anger is caused by something outside of your control or when we think we’re not getting something that we deserve or we’ve been wronged.
I take a twist on anger and share that there is no such thing as anger, it’s simply what you’re feeling when we experience fear, hurt, and frustration the latter two come from expectation.
And guess what, I talk about what drives anger. What drives it is when we’re not getting something in the way that we want it.
It’s a control issue but we don’t see it as that.
And finally, I suggest ways that we can eliminate all this from our lives.
In this episode I discuss:
And, of course, much much more.
Self-Integrity is VITAL to your success in any activity and according to a Harvard business professor who studies it, it’s one of the most over looked concepts in business and life.
When we’re out of self-integrity, nothing works, we keep failing over and over in many areas of life that we think are important to us.
Let me rephrase the last paragraph, things work in life but they rarely work the way we want when we’re out of integrity.
When we let go of the attachment to ourselves and how things are supposed to be in the world most of FATA disappears from our lives.
You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. In this episode, it is actually part two of what I started last week, when I called it FATA F A T A, which is basically fear, anxiety, tension, and anger. And I talk in this episode about how to eliminate these things from your life. Keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Ask "Who Cares?" And Regain Control
Okay, so fear, anxiety, tension and anger. I as I mentioned, in the last episode, I got the idea from you know, for the episode, in a conversation with my brother in law, the Shaman. And he was talking to me about fear, anxiety, tension and anger, and about health and wellness. And he was talking about what poison, fear, anxiety, tension and anger are. Now for each episode, I generally kind of think ahead about, you know, what I want to do what I want to say what my topic is going to be. And I had a topic already picked out. And then that hit me at the last minute, because I talked to on a Saturday night and I was gonna record, you know, record the podcast and the next day, like, okay, here's the topic. So the second part of this, I wrestled with it a lot thinking, How do I tackle such a big subject, I mean, I could spend episodes, on each one of these, these four things, you know, the fear, anxiety, tension and anger.
Anyway, what I did is I just tackled a bit of it. And I've spent a lot of time this week, really just letting it you know, ruminating and letting it just kind of, you know, float through my mind. And the reality is that all of these, for the most part, there might be one with an exception, but they come from one place, which is how I will wrap up this podcast. So, you know, fear, anxiety, tension and anger. People are walking around with variations of all of these in their lives. You know, some do a greater degree, some to a lesser degree. But think about that, you know, how much fear do you have in your life? And what are you afraid about? How much anxiety and what creates anxiety for you? How much tension, which a lot of us don't think about. And then you know, a big one, I think pretty much almost everyone can relate to is the anger.
Now me being on the planet, obviously, I'm human, and well and human format of the human body. You know, you've also often heard me say that I'm a cosmic being we all are. But these are all things that I've experienced in my own life. And I've contributed my health and in ways that are positive at different times in my life, and relationships and everything else. But they're poison. These are poisons, and I've watched them destroy people's desires, and passions, and dreams. And they really keep people in a mental prison. So as I've mentioned these things, think about your own life again, how much fear and anxiety, intention and anger and if you ever really sat down to qualify, well, how much fear you know, course you can say well, I get into 64% fear and, you know, a 17% anxiety and 83% tension and, you know, a 94% anger, and then a different times the other day or people or whatever, but have you ever really, you know, sat down to think about to what degree you get in to fear, anxiety, tension and anger or any variations of these.
You know, in our culture as I do, and of course, Western culture. People people know I mean, especially in the in the United States, that my gosh, I mean we really as a whole society is I mean this is just a direct ways is very sick and what I mean by that is I don't mean by demented, you know, twisted and stuff like that. Because I mean, all over the world, I mean, the USA, I mean, and all over the world, people are people, and for the most part, people are good people. But I mean, if you look at the health of Americans, I mean, I think something like 80% of Americans are overweight. And of course, I have listeners all over the world. And it's not just the United States. But you look at the health in first world countries, and most of them. Now, where I was going here is that most Well, I don't know what what percentage or what amount of people would know. But it's been determined medically sell that 90% of all illness is stress related.
Now, you might know that, but have you ever, you know, stopped to think Well, okay, you know, 90% of all illness is stress related? How much grass do I get into? And then what is stress? And then the purpose of this podcast is how much stress this fear cause you? How much anxiety does? Or how much does that stress? You? Let me back up here instead of different way? How much does fear stress you out? How much does anxiety stress you out? tension, it's just pure stress. When you look at tension, that's what it is, it's stress, and then anger, look at how stressed you get when you get angry at people. So then I go back to 90% of all illness is stress related. And that goes back to what we're talking to the fear, anxiety, tension and anger. So these are things that you really, really want to just stop and look at in your own life.
Okay, so as I said, a couple of minutes ago, you know, like, how do you how do you tackle this, I mean, these are four really big things that consume a lot of people's lives. And what I thought I would do is just go over each one very briefly, and then obviously, wrap up the episode. But just go over one, you know, each and every one of these just a bit. So fear, which I've covered before, and I've done podcast, I think a couple of episodes in various ways on fear. And we have biological fears, and we have psychological fears. You know, the biological fears are physical survival, somebody's breaking into your house, you're in a car accident, you're chased by an animal, you're in some kind of physical danger. And then the psychological fear is obviously you're afraid of things which you can also be afraid of the biological fears. Psychological fears can also apply to health and you know, pretty much anything in your life. But I want to touch on two that I've touched on before, the two biggest for the most part psychological fears that people get into providing we're, we're well, and we, you know, we're surviving, and our survival is not threatened. And it's not fight or flight is a fear of abandonment, and the fear of inadequacy, meaning either people are going to reject me and they're not going to like me, or I'm not good enough.
And I would love you know, what we love as human beings, and I've been there before, I'm not there at a point in my life now, but I've been there before, is we want explanations, we want big answers. We want comprehensive answers. And we want everything to air quote makes sense to us. And I can do that. And we'd be wasting a lot of time because I want to just go back and keep this simple or go to a place and keep this simple is that I was struggling for this a little bit thinking about putting my thoughts together here. What I want to say is and to be truthful with you, one of my dogs is here scratching like crazy. And now she wants out of the room which she's gonna have to wait and I thought maybe he's I've had some recording this she's w making noise. So anyway, back to what I'm talking about. simplicity, mentioned the word simplicity. I'm thinking, you know what, I can even create a podcast episode on that.
But simplicity, let's go back to you know what I was. The conversational loop I was opening is about the two biggest fears of abandonment and inadequacy, meaning that people are going to reject us or we're not going to be good enough. Now, the simplicity part that I was going to is many years ago, and I don't know why this stuck in my mind, but it did. I was just one of those imprints something that I was in the moment. I absorbed it and it changed my life is I was listening to my brother in law. And he was talking about talking about who likes us and who doesn't. And he simply said, Who cares? And for some reason that hit me when you think about it, I'm mean, who cares? What does it really matter? If people like you, or they don't like you, or you're good enough, or they think you're good enough, or you don't, it doesn't matter. So I look at that. And I look at that also, where I want to go to a degree with each of these categories is notice that when it comes to abandonment, and people liking us, or are we good enough? Many times, we're trying to do things to control our environments, and to control people into liking us, or perceiving us as being good enough. And then what it comes down to, which is the whole point of this section, and all of them really, if you tell me that doesn't apply to you, for the most part for most of us, and these are lessons I've learned, and back to my brother in law, who cares, and I've learned to let it go. But for many years that controlled me is I wanted to make sure people thought this about me or positive things, or my content was this or my content was was you know that or whatever.
That's control. It's a control issue. So a question that I have for you, and it's one that I really want you to dig into, is what can you really control in life? Think about that? What can you really control in life? And you know, what, if you accept the obvious, and you look right in front of you, you can't control anything. And people will even say, and I've done, I've done episodes on this, people will say, well, well, you can control your thinking no you can't. Because if you could, you wouldn't have thoughts that you didn't want to have. You simply choose your thinking. And I know you've heard me say before, you know what, because there's so many episodes, people forget things is control is an illusion. And when we try to control things, we're then controlled by the illusion of control that pertains to what you know what I want to talk about next, which is anxiety.
And anxiety. There's, there's when I say there's two kinds, I mean, there can be many psychological, etc. But I look at what I'm looking at, you know, for the point of our conversation, is psychological anxiety, and brain based anxiety. Now, mind you, when I say brain based, I mean chemical. And by the way, this all comes from the unconscious mind, because many, many years ago, probably, I guess, about 30 years ago, out of college, I had clinical depression and anxiety coupled with panic attacks. I mean, oh, boy, I think about that clinical depression, or what seemed like clinical depression to me at the time, I mean, it was bad, coupled or tied to anxiety and panic attacks. And I would get anxious about having panic attacks, and then I'd have panic attacks and then go into, you know, if I had lunch recently throwing up and everything. So that's been, it's been, you know, 30 years and trust me, I've been there.
And what I recognized in that scenario many years ago, as I was coming out of it, is it was all involuntary and it was all unconsciously created. And so the two kinds of of anxiety that I want to touch upon here are the this you know, the biological, the chemical imbalance and I was really poor out of college. I'm not the person I am now I worked on a T shirt shop on the beach. The Texas economy was depressed I was a victim of, of mass thinking, thinking, Oh, the Texas economy's depressed, I can't get a job. I've got a good college degree, a couple of them from a great school, I don't have any money bla bla bla. And I didn't, I couldn't afford therapy I couldn't afford and where I lived also there really weren't any therapist it was I was remote, little beach town. But I I got I got over it. And I recognized as I was getting over it or getting through it, that it was all subconsciously harbored and driven an Intel. And by the way, I mean for the podcast to go here. So hopefully I won't go too far. Intel I confronted and dealt with my inner demons and I'm just choosing network demons just colloquially until I dealt with that the clinical depression did not go away.
And when I did deal with it, it air quote miraculously went away very, very quickly. And then the other anxiety is basically general anxiety, you're anxious about a test or anxious about doing a, you know, a presentation in front of people and you've got to, you've got to deliver you know, something somewhere or whatever. You know what I mean? Right? When I talk about just general anxiety. So what I want to, you know, looking at anxiety or what I want to look at is, notice again, unless it's the biological, notice the other anxiety, you're trying to control something. You're trying to control an outcome. You're trying to, in some way, influence something in your environment. Because if you weren't, you would not have the anxiety. So again, what can you control?
Okay, let me segue from the podcast for just one minute. The fact that you're here listening to my podcast means that you're serious about Transforming your Life from the Inside Out. Now, that being said, you're going to want to mark your calendar, because I'm doing a live no charge training, starting on March the fourth, it's a three part transformational training, and it's called the BE DO HAVE series. And what we're going to do is we're going to dig deeper into the ways of identity that you need to be, so that you can actually change the things you need to change so that you can have the health and the wealth and the success and the money and all the things that you want. So whatever you do, Mark your calendar for March the fourth 3pm, Central Standard Time, and visit jimfortin.com/bedohave. And again, whatever you do, right now, get registered for this no charge training. Okay, back to the episode.
Okay, the next one will keep it pretty simple. But tension. Now, when I looked up tension, a couple of days ago, I'm like, Well, you know, how is, you know, tension defined.It's the act or process of straightening something tight. The condition of so being stretched tautness, a force tending to stretch or elongate something, a measure of such a force. And it can also be nervous tension and nervous strain. And if you look at that, you think about what causes tension in your life. And I think about me, because we're all the same. I really have tension anymore. And oh, my gosh, I tension for many, many years. And tension for me was always about again, I've got to look good or not look bad, or I've got to control something. So think about that for a moment. And think about where tension shows up in your life. You know, and then again, obviously, the whole point here is intention can lead to stress and stress can lead to illness. But where does tension show up in your life? And I know that you're you know, you're you're thinking through this and you're listening to me, you know, you're going through your mind and doing a little checklist and going well, you know, yep, nope, yep, yep. Okay, they're, they're not there.
And something popped in my mind was, what a great source of tension is for a lot of people, is children. And I started thinking Also, do you recognize that many times, because I don't have kids. But I've watched I mean, all my friends have kids. And I'm, and I'm 55. And I mean, more around kids. And the greatest source of tension around parenting is that the parent cannot control the child, or the child is not doing what you know, the parent wants the child to do. And then that creates a great deal of tension. Now, trust me when I tell you, I'm not qualified to talk about parenting. That's why I don't I mean, unless you're a parent, you probably don't know jack about it. And I was going to say, you know, I was gonna make some comments about different people who counsel people on things, and they have no experience with it. But I'll leave that alone for now.
But tension in your life, look at that, and look at what causes tension for you, you know, simple things what used to cause tension for me was, if I was late, if I get caught in traffic, that would cause tension. Why? Because then I would be late. And now I look back, you know, in retrospect, and I'm like, Well, what would happen if I was late? Well, people are gonna think certain things about me if I'm late, and they're gonna say this about me. And I'm not dependable, which is a value of mine unconsciously. So, notice, again, all I want you to notice here, and you know what, I know I'm going all over the place in this podcast. Like I said, How do you tie this together? I'm just giving you food for thought because I want to tie it up with one thought at the end, and tie all of this into one thing for you.
But tension, look at the things in your life that cause you tension and couple of things, just toss a few more things here out is tension also is caused by an uncertain outcome, meaning, I don't know what's going to happen. And because I don't know what's going to happen, then you know what that can put me into anxiety, which could be tension, or create tension or be similar to tension that could put me in the fear, which I could get tense about also. And notice how these are all kind of related. But to give you an example, movies, tension is what makes movies really exciting, especially like scary movies. If you look at Jaws, for example, the movie back in the 70s, and I'm sure everybody's seen it, for the most part, everyone's seen it. And if you look at what causes attention, it's that you never know where jaws is gonna be. And the first part, you know, first half of the movie, you don't know where jaws is gonna pop up. And that's what creates the tension.
And when I, when I recognize that many years ago, I recognized that tension is also caused by this, this one thing, we don't know what's going to happen. And when we don't know what's going to happen, guess what, we get tense. Now, something else I want to point out there. Notice, it's a control issue, because you're trying to control something before it happens, or you're wanting to control it. So it comes out and a particular way that you want it to come out. And again, it's a control issue to some degree.
Okay, so a biggie for a lot of people is anger. And what I've noticed over the years as well, myself included, is I would think back to what made me angry, and I look at people all day long. What makes people angry? I mean, what makes people are just laughing, because these aren't things I get into, at this point in my life. But I've been there. And I was never I'm thinking right now, what's popping into my mind is people getting mad and traffic. And thinking back, I don't know if you've ever read years ago, maybe 15,20 25,30 years ago,Jack Nicholson, the actor, he, he got out of his car, I think it started beating somebody's car with a golf club. And I'm like, how ridiculous is that. And that's anger. And what caused that, what caused that was basically is the, I assumed well, like the driver did the car did something he did, like, he couldn't control the behavior of the other driver, therefore he got into anger.
So anger, look at your own life is something outside of your control. Think about that. Now, think about three things that make you angry. Okay, three things. And then notice and ask yourself how much control is tied to that, you know, if you, you know, for example, let's say your mother, and these are all this, because they're just everyday examples, your mother starts talking about XYZ, and it makes you angry. And let's want to say your mother, let me let me contextualize that you're an adult, and your mother starts lecturing, lecturing you on this side of the other, and you get angry. Why? Because you can't control what your mother's saying you can't shut her up or she won't stop.
So if you look at your life, and you look at all the things that make you angry, your husband leaving his dirty socks on the floor, I don't know your wife leaving her dirty socks on the floor, or your wife leaving her makeup all over the bathroom counter. Or this day and age, your husband leaving his makeup all over the bathroom counter. But you know what I mean, right? And I heard something many years ago also is that there's no such, there's no such thing as anger. And when you're feeling anger, really what you're feeling is you're feeling fear, or hurt, or frustration. And notices for the most part, again, are all about somebody else, and trying to control them. So I can go deeper here. Again, I can't you know, rabbit trail too much. And this would be a four hour episode of episode if I did, but if I dug in further anger, but what I want you to take away here is this is notice for the most part, when you're angry at someone is because you're wanting them to do something and a way that you want them to do it, and they're not doing it.
Let me give you a tidbit here also a way to defuse somebody if they're angry at you. As a matter of fact, every one of you could try to make a note of this good. Try it today tomorrow. There'll be some time in your life within a day or so you can use this. If somebody's angry at you, you can simply say A simple phrase, you can say, what is it that you want from me. And you'll notice right away, the person for the most part will calm down. And if you notice, also, they will tell you something they're not getting from you. And that is making them angry. And that's why I said, for example, there's no such thing as anger, it's simply that the person is feeling hurt, because they didn't get something, they're fearful because you're not getting something in a relationship, they're not getting the attention they need, or whatever it might be, or they're frustrated, because they're not getting something.
Now, back to kind of the core of what we're talking about how much control is wrapped around anger. And then obviously, what we're talking about is eliminating and letting go of the anger in your life and the tension in your life, the anxiety in your life, and the fear. And those are all control issues. And as I said earlier, you can't control anything, think about that. You can't control anything. And I've never really been one to be a control freak. No one's really ever called me a control freak. And I've noticed that I've never really tried to control people's behavior, in another aspect of control is trying to control my own behavior, if I didn't do something in a certain way would make me angry. For the most part. That was years gone by as well, because I have mellowed out the last several years of my life.
So just notice also, where does the anger come in? Does it come in at yourself? Does it come in, you know, towards other people? And then ask yourself, what am I trying to control? So we've talked about the concepts, obviously, of fear and anger and frustration, and anxiety? And where do we go with that? I mean, how can I make this tangible for you, so that you have a takeaway, when I started this episode, I said that we all want, you know, tangible plans. And by the way, that's partly the way the brain works. Give me you know, give me three steps. And give me three ways, etc, is what a lot of us want. And I'm going to give you my thoughts on this. And the reality is we can spend a lifetime mastering it, and we can take forever to master it or we can master it quicker in life, it's entirely entirely up to us.
But when you look at control, when you look at it really comes down to it comes down to attachment is that you're attached to something, you're attached to looking a certain way, feeling a certain way people perceiving you in a certain way. things happening in a certain way. Getting things in life in a certain way, and life being a certain way. And what I want to point out is that attachment. Now when I talked about easy we want easy like walk a woman it's an easy answer, right? It's attachment. But yet, what the heck do I do with that, right? And that's the surrender trust and do not doubt and let go. I call it an STD Surrender Trust and do not doubt. There's actually a podcast episode on that. But let go in life. And I'm sensing as I'm saying this, that I want to create more episodes around this and see if I can make them a little more tangible for you.
But if I look at this myself in my own life, it's the attachment. And I remember a dream that I had my brother in law teaches me shamans work. He's a sorcerer and a shaman. They work in dream time. And I learn when he's talking to me, for example, like, you know what I call him a waking, you like awake, right? Right now he's talking to me, he never really teaches. He does most of his work in dream time. I've done episodes on this as well, which actually, you're more awake and dream time than you are right now. And you're awake right now. But you think that you're actually you think you're awake now. And then when you sleep, you think you're dreaming but you're actually always awake. It's just a matter of awareness, and your height and your level of awareness. And when I say awake, we can flip that and say you're also always dreaming.
But a dream that I had one time that changed. everything for me is in the dream. We're in our talking and he said he said something that I've never I don't have the smarts to think of it in that way myself. But he said something in a way that I brought back from dream time and I'm like, yikes, that's powerful. And he said, You have to let go of your attachment. To everything in your life, including your life, think about that, you have to let go of your attachment to everything in life, including your own life. And when you look at that, everything we've talked about fits in that shell of obviously your life, right? This is your life. And and think about all the things that you're attached to in your life. And all the things that you're attached to, are what create the fear and the anxiety, and the tension, and the anger. So that comes down. That's what I was saying a little earlier, I know I'm thinking I want to create more episodes on this is letting go of the ego, the self importance.
And that's then when we start transcending into the spiritual essence of who we are, the way we tend to live our lives is let me live in the 3d first, let me take care of my bills, and my husband and my wife and my car, and my kids and my job and my money and my launches. And, and this and that this and that. We tend to live in the 3d. And then we get to the olm, and the meditation and the spirituality, when it's air quote, convenient for us. But yet, we're letting is if your hand I've used this metaphor before, you're you look at your entire body. And then you look at the after the after the last little joint in your pinky. Well, what we generally do is let that lap that last little joint, which is our ego, control the rest of us, the smallest part of us, controls the biggest part of us, which is our cosmic divineness, our essence, our spirituality. And basically, we give all of our self away to that one little bitty piece of us, which is the smallest piece of who we are.
And when we step into the spiritual essence of who we are, and that divineness, this is a leap you have to make on your own, I can do it for you. And I don't even know that I can lead you there. But wait, it's like hopping into a pole, a swimming pool, you don't know what the temperature is like till you hop into it. And the same thing about shedding this humaneness. All these things, and the ego and the arrogance and all these kind of things that we have. When we shed those things. It's like hopping in the pool of water. And there's a war there's a warm pool of water, that we can be in like a huge pool like an ocean, which is the divineness of who we are. And once we start swimming in that, that's when the fear in life. Because think about all the fears and anxieties and tensions and angers think about how those things would automatically dissolve. If you stepped out of your self importance. And you stepped out of your ego and you stepped out of your attachment. Oh, how much easier life gets.
Okay, I'm going to go ahead and wrap this episode up. So your takeaway this week is again, let go of attachment, your transformation will take away and as cures to health which you're attached to. And I'm granting, because I said I'm going to wrap this up because I probably mangled this episode. And that's okay, too. Because guess what? I'm not attached to the outcome. I mean, somebody could listen and say, well, that's crap, what you did, but you know what I did it because that's what I do when I put these out. But anyway, I'm going to leave it at that. And I will I'm thinking now I want to do some more episodes on this. And I'll catch you on the next episode. What I do want to say before we go here is Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you with immense gratitude for the amount of downloads we've had. I mean, we're going on millions of downloads, or we're heading that way. For the people that have been very loyal that listen to share the podcast. And for you, I have immense gratitude for allowing me to do what I'm on the planet to do. And thank you for allowing me to serve. Okay, make it a great day to day and I'll catch you over on next episode. Bye bye.
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