EPISODE 149: “ENCORE Episode: Who Are You And What Is Your Identity?”
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In this episode we look at your identity and why you do what you do. You’ll learn that it doesn’t matter what you think you want and it doesn’t matter what you do because you only create in life what you are. Your identity is created from experiences in your life, then you create an interpretation from those experiences and then you tell yourself a story about it for the rest of your life. So, I order to change your identity, you must first ask “What would be the identity of someone who already has what I want?” Look for someone who already has what you want. Listen to the entire episode to learn about changing your identity!
In this episode I discuss:
And, like I say over and over…much more.
If you want the next 12 months to be your happiest and best ever then stop thinking about what you want and start focusing on your habits. You don’t get what you want in life, you get your habits and for the most part, CONTROL is a habit.
What identity would I need to have to create ______ in my life?
You're listening that Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. Listen to this entire episode because it's going to become obvious to you, why you've been stuck in life, why you do what you do, and why you do what you do, even if you don't think that you want to do it. Beyond that, what you're going to start learning is how to create the identity that you want to create, to automatically and effortlessly create the environment and life that you desire.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life. from the inside out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
You Create Your Identity And Your Identity Is Your World
So let me ask you a question. Did you buy? Or did you smoke a cigarette today? Now that might be an odd place to start. But this is a very poignant illustration about identity. Because this this episode is about Who are you? And what is your identity? All right, back to my question. Did you smoke today? Yes or no? Now plain and simple. If you smoked a cigarette today, which is a doing behavior, you are in your self image and your identity, you are a smoker, if you did not smoke today, then plain and simple, you are not a smoker. What I want you to understand, and this will be like a big aha for a lot of you is it doesn't matter what you think that you want. It doesn't matter what you do, you will only create in life, what you are. And a smoker smokes because they are a smoker, and a non smoker does not smoke because they are a non smoker. This is why people become wealthy because they are wealthy in their mind. This is why people no matter what you do, stay poor and don't have money. Because in your mind, in your identity in your self image, you are a poor person. So it really doesn't matter. As I said, what you think or what you think you think that you want, you will only get what you are.
And you know when I said it doesn't matter what you think. The reason I'm saying that is that, let's say that you think that you want to make a million dollars a year. And that would be left brain analytical thought, yes, I see other people doing it, you might say, so if they can do it, I can do it or I can be fit and trim unhealthy or integrate relationship or whatever it is that you want. And then a year later, you find that you know what, you haven't created any of it. Why? Because that is your left brain analytical thought saying yes, I can have that. But at your unconscious level, in your unconscious paradigms, and in your identity, you are not that. And if you are not that you cannot do that. And if you are, if you cannot do that, then you cannot be whatever it is you want the rich or the fit or the trim, or whatever it might be for you.
So your identity is who you are subconsciously. Now, you've also heard me mentioned the word self image, your identity you learn as a small child. So let's say for example, this is how it works when you are a small kid, and let's let's just use money because interestingly enough 80% of the American population right now, today, whatever the date is, I don't know, February, that's something 2018 the 27th 2018 80% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. So here's what happens. And this is a great example in my own family with my brother and I. So, if you grew up in a family and you constantly hear money's hard to come by, you've got to struggle. Money doesn't grow on trees. We're not rich, there's never enough. So those are experiences that you're having. Now, what happens from the experience is that you create interpretations. So the experience as a toddler, you could hear your parents saying, we never have enough money, we never have enough money, we never have enough money. Then what happens is from those actions variances, you create interpretations. Well, I guess, you know, dad says that and mom says that, never enough money, never enough money that must be the world that I live in.
Therefore, I'm going to tell myself stories about not having money. And I'm going to tell myself stories for a lot of my life, that money's hard to make. And I've got a struggle, and I get to work until my eyeballs bleed. and hard work is the key to success. And you got to be this, you've got to be that, and on and on and on. And this is what I call the identity loop. Once you're in the loop, for most people, it persists for a lifetime. If you look at for example, you know, I used to live in New York City, and there's a heavy contingency of Orthodox Jewish people there. And you know, you would never see a small Jewish boy, let's say seven or eight years old, say, you know, Dad, I've rethought this Jewish thing. And I think that I'm going to be Catholic, you don't see it. And the same thing pertains to pretty much the entire world we live in, and the entire world that you live in, for the most part, whatever your parents were, you are. That's why, you know, Republicans, people that are Republicans, for the most part grew up in republican families, people that are Jewish, grew up in Jewish families, for the most part. Now, of course, there are exceptions.
However, pretty much you have been indoctrinated since you were a kid to be exactly who you are today. And you were indoctrinated with your parents identity as well, as a matter of fact, whatever identity they held, they indoctrinated you with that identity to be a particular kind of person or a certain way, or in particular, that the world works in a certain way. What most people do, is they go through their entire lifetime, entire lifetime, never questioning,how,how did I become who I am. So if you look at your life, and I've seen this so many times, and I've been there, so let me talk about my family for a second.
I remember when I was in my 30's or so early 30s, and I was buying a new condo. And when I moved into the new condo, I had to have it painted. So I stayed with my parents for a week or so. And I remember one day, my mother saying something, and I thought to myself, Oh my god, I am my mother. Because I learned so many characteristics from her that became my identity. And then I'd mentioned earlier about my family, my brother and I, we were both raised in the environment where my dad was a blue collar worker. He was an auto body repair man. And all that we ever heard. I mean, literally, I popped out of the womb. And probably when my dad got the first hospital bill, he said, I can't afford that. All that I ever heard growing up is money's hard to come by. We're not rich. Money doesn't grow on trees. And I heard that incessantly over and over and over.
Now, my brother also heard the same thing. The difference between the two of us is very early in life, I decided that I wanted different things for my life. I remember when I was in high school, I said, I want a Mercedes Benz. Why? Because I saw somebody that had one and I wanted one. Well, this day and age, I do extremely well financially. And yet my brother who is five years younger than I am, my brother still today works as probably about a $20 an hour ranch hand in the hot Texas heat. And he works literally his life into the ground, that so we grew up in the same environment, but that is identity at work for you.
So right now what I want you to look at is the question. And that question is, who am I? A couple of days ago, I got an email, and the person said, Hey, Jim, if our identity is subconscious, and I use the word subconscious and unconscious interchangeably, they said if my identity is subconscious, then how do I know my identity is that my friend is a really simple one. Look at your external environment, which is what we talked about in the last episode. Because see your identity actually matriculates obviously into your beliefs and your skills and your behavior into your environment. So if you want to know what your identity is, go log on and look at your bank account. Go look in the mirror, look at your body. Look at the status of your relationship. Are you in? Are you in an amazing relationship are or are you on your fourth marriage?
So what you want to look for, and these are telltale clues, what you want to look for, is what are the patterns of your life? Do you actually lose a lot of weight and gain it back? Do you make a lot of money and actually, you know lose it. If you're like most people when it comes to money, we have what I call a money barometer. And that is related to our identity. If you're the kind of person for example, you'll learn that you're the kind of person that makes 100 grand a year. That's pretty much what you will do every single year, year in year out Why? Because you're the kind of person who does that. Yet, for people that make millions a year, you do that because that is your identity. So I'm going to slow down here and I cannot stress enough is that you can only do your identity. And if you want to know what your identity is, look at your environment that will tell you 100% what your identity is.
I remember I don't watch a lot of TV, but I did enjoy American Idol when it was on TV. And I think it's back on now. And I remember one of the final seasons, there was this kid named Sam Woolf. And when I saw him audition, I, for some reason, I have this uncanny ability. And I think it's because I'm reading body language is that I can pick winners. And I've been very good at that. And I said, When I saw Sam Woolf audition, he's probably 17 or so I said, that kid can win it. Even the judges said that kid can win it. Well, he was actually I think he came in at number five. And in the final episode, they had Sam Woolf on stage. And they also had a prior winner named Philip Phillips, be on the final episode. And I watched Sam play. And he was very rigid. Very, I mean, just very modulated. And then Philip Phillips walked down. And of course, he had more experience. And he was probably four or five years older, he came out and just tore up the stage. Well, this is something that I want you to get is that they both probably had in my I don't have a professional opinion. I mean, I'm not a music critic. But it Sam did get to number five. And even though it's a popularity contest, the judges did say that he could possibly win. So the judges are professionals, and I believe them.
So basically what the judges were saying is Sam is pretty good. Now, where am I going with this is, I believe, and I observe that Sam Woolf, and Phillip Phillips had very comparable potential. Yet, they're working from very different identities. Because Sam's identity was along the lines of he had a lot of fear in his body language. So his identity probably was along the lines of I have to, I have to be a certain way, or I have to show up in a certain way. Whereas Philip Phillips showed up completely differently. So so many of you, parents, you tell your kids things like you've got to live up to your potential, you've got to live up to your potential. Well, that's a misnomer, because you and everyone else, you may live to your potential. But what most people live to is their identity. And if you want to create more in life, it's not about your potential, that obviously that does help. But it's about what your identity is.
Because here's something that I want you to understand you, you can never outperform your identity. Let's take this back to money again. And back to episode number one in all these, you know, social media personalities, when they want you to perform something, they want you to do something, you've got to work until your eyeballs bleed, and you have to do this. And you have to do that. And you've got the prospect and knock on doors and lead, generate and go to the gym and be on this diet, and that diet. Those are all doing things. But see, if let's say for money, for example, you do all these things. But your identity is separate and different. Well, it is separate, but it's different. So you do all these things to make money. And that's why some of you might be doing it. You do all these things to make money, yet you never have any money to show for it. Why? Because you're living from your identity, which is what we do unconsciously.
You look at people who win the lottery. And there's been you know, studies on this many times, people who win the lottery just a few years later, they're broke again. Why? Because their external world they might you know, they might win all this money, but their internal barometer is about being poor. A great example of that is if you look at you know, Mike Tyson, I think Mike Tyson won something like $300 million and his career. Yet as I understand it, I don't follow paparazzi and, you know, news and People Magazine, but I think I read somewhere where he's broke again. I mean, how in the world can someone? How in the world can they make $300 million and be broke again? Well, it's the same way that lottery winners win $10,20,30,40,50 million, and three to five years later, they're broke again, because our, our mind years, our identities are like a thermostat, whatever that thermostat or barometer is set at that's what happens automatically. So I'm going to give you a little subconscious dialogue here.
So let's say for example, that your identity your unconscious parameter with money is you got to struggle for it. You don't deserve But it's hard to make. And let's say that's what you that's where you work from at the identity level, then you inherit $10 million. Well, what happens is a little subconscious speak here, the subconscious mind says, Oh, no, no, no, no, you know what you just inherited money in your environment or you you want it or whatever you at your subconscious level are broke. Therefore, I am going to make you adhere to your subconscious identity. And I'm going to make you broke, I'm going to make you lose it, I'm going to make you spend it, I'm going to make you you know, you frivolous with it, I'm going to make you mismanagement, management, whatever. But the reality is, as long as you're broken your mind, I'm going to make sure that you are broke in your external environment.
So hopefully, you're starting to see, hopefully, we're starting to crack open here. Now in our very short time together, that whatever it is that you want to create in life, you must first have it in your unconscious identity. Because the example that I gave you, smokers smoke, because they are smokers, non smokers actually do not smoke, because they are non smokers. And the same thing with you, everything that you have created in your life you have created because you are that. Now, here's a phrase that I live by, and this is very, I think it's very powerful is that you cannot do what you are not consider that you can not do what you are not. If you were not first rich in your mind.There's no way you're going to be rich. If you're not first healthy in your mind, there's no way you are going to be healthy, it is just not going to happen.
Now, I know you've heard all the motivational hyperbole and jargon and all that one of my clients one time she has a very large real estate company. She's one of the actually she's one of the top real estate brokers in the United States. NAR, the National Association of Realtors considered one of the top 20 thought leaders and national real estate. She is a she's older now she's about 80. She's a Dallas business icon. I was her coach, and she became my mentor. And she said something to me very simple, which I'm sure you've heard before. But now after this podcast, it might sink in a little a little deeper. But she said, you know, Jim, I tell my agents, that they're never going to be a successful agent until they are first successful, in their mind. And the same thing pertains to you.
Let's talk about that for a second. Let's talk about money and money identity. So and I think I pretty much covered this. But if you want to know what your unconscious identity is about money, go look at your bank account. The way that or the place that most people work from is identity sustenance. Most people work from you know what, just enough and even people that are, you know, middle class, just enough to get by. I never have a lot of money. I'm never out of money because they work from the universe provides but you're really not working from that place, even though they don't know it. But they're working from this place of You know what, I always have enough money to pay my bills and they get by. And that's what they do. And the reason why is because that's who they are in their identity.
Where do you work from? Do you work from I'm the kind of person who attracts money and money piles up into my life? Do you work for it? Do you work from that I've got a struggle, and money's hard and I've got to work to my eyeballs bleed, and I've got a struggle and struggle and struggle. Now I don't care where you are in life. I don't care if you're driving in your Tesla right now. Or your Mercedes or your old beat up car. I don't care if you make a million dollars a year 10 million a year or you're making 32,000 a year. What I'm telling you right now applies to every single person on this planet is that you will never outperform your identity. And you'll always work within that. You want more you have to be more which is ways of being which we talked about in the first episode.
You know if you go back and we've all seen this if you look at Oprah, for example, you know she's one of the most famous people on the planet and we all know that Oprah has had weight challenges over the years. And she owns part of Weight Watchers now and she you know many years ago pulled out a wagon on stage and at 60 pounds of fat in it. And look at Oprah she yo yos from and I don't know because I haven't seen her in years personally, not personally but on TV or whatever. But she yo yos why is it that she can do everything in her external environment hire the trainers and the right diets and this and that and the foods and the experts and the nutritionist, yet she loses weight, but she always goes back to being overweight.
Now a little bit off topic here. I understand that she was raped when she was I think 14 years old or so. What I learned and I'm a master hypnotist, what I learned many years ago is that that can what I call a metaphor, an isolation is a metaphor, or a metaphor to create isolation for her. Because let's say for example, she was raped, what the body could do is put weight on. And then she could say, well see, now I'm overweight, and I'm unattractive, or I'm the F word, I'm fat, and nobody wants me, therefore, I will not be raped again. Anyway, neither here or there at this point in this particular episode, but I want you to look at Oprah, as an example, is that in her identity, there's something going on, that creates the continued weight challenge for her.
You know, we also you've seen this in your own life. To give you some more examples here, I know, you've seen this is, you know, you might know a woman and she's in a relationship, and he beats her. And she gets out and everyone in the family is like, Oh, my gosh, thank God, Susan is out of that relationship with Bob, he was so bad for her, he was so destructive for her. And now she's out and she's free. And every one of the happy is fam, everybody in the family is happy about it. Then a year later, she meets a new man, and she's all excited. And guess what the new man beats her why. Because in her identity, if she is a woman that stays in a relationship where she gets beat, that confirms her identity, that she is a woman who deserves to be beat. On the flip side, something that you don't hear people talking about is what about Bob who's beating her. So we tend to actually seek out people that also confirm our identity.
So if she is actually she's a woman that she deserves to be beat, what she will automatically do is search out a man that believes women deserve to be beat. Now, what they've done is they've created a relationship, which confirms both of their identities, her identity is confirmed, because he beats her. And his identity is confirmed, because she lets him beat her, which confirms his identity that women deserve to be beat. This can go pretty deep, I know. And I want you to look at your own life. Because everything in your own life is your identity, at work for you. This is why it's so vital, vital, and you know, when I when I look out in the world at all, the Trent, you know, all the all the personal development content out there and all that, for the most part, every bit of is as external.
If you were to go to a big speakers event, you know, some large speaker, one of the first questions they never ask is who and what is the identity of the person attending this event? You know, you look at big speakers, and they'll say, Well, here's my book, here's how to do XYZ, and I'm famous, and you should listen to me. And here's my book on how to create blah, blah, blah blankety blank in your life. And let's say, for example, which is something I'm going to talk about a lot, and one of the next episodes is going to be on habits. But let's say for example, that I have a book on habits, which I don't. And let's say that I tell you, and you see all the time on Facebook, here's the Seven Habits of millionaires, they get up early, they read books every day, whatever it is.
Well, let's say for example, that I tell you in my habit book habit number one is that you have to get up early because that's, you know, people who make a lot of money, that's what they do. But what if by circadian rhythm, that you know what you prefer, actually, you're a night owl, which is biological and actually electromagnetic, and that you prefer staying up at night. So all these people, all these motivators tell you here's the seven ways, and this and that, and this and that. But what no one ever looks at is as an individual, who are you? What do you identify as? What are your stories, and we're going to do an episode on stories? What are your stories about that?
Now, as I was creating all this, I did say that you're going to start learning in this particular episode, how to change your identity. What I wanted to do in this episode is I want to actually ingrain before we start doing change, work, and I want to ingrain and to get you to start thinking, I want to get you to a place where you own you own this, you you come to actually know it, not understand it. There's a difference between understanding and knowing. And the example there could be is that for example, I've never had a broken bone. Yet I understand what a broken bone is, because I've seen it on TV and in the movies. And I've read about it in books and you know, biology class and everything else. But you know what, I understand it, but I don't know what a broken arm is because I've never had one. And if you've had a broken bone, you know what it feels like?
So the purpose of this episode is to get you to start knowing to know that you can never outperform your identity. And if you want to create more in life, which you do and the fact that you're here means that you want to do that. You must own that what we have to start working at which we will do, as we go through the episodes, we have to start working on letting go of your old identity, and creating a new identity for you. I think you're probably already know by this point, also the old you know, people telling you, you've got to work harder and more hours, and bla bla, bla, bla bla, that stuff doesn't work. Because see if that worked, everyone who did that would make more money, and they would live better lives. And that right there demonstrates that that social paradigm is that you have to work hard to get ahead, you've got to work hard to be wealthy, that is a broken paradigm that pretty much the entire culture is caught in.
So what you want to do is you want to start with your identity. Remember, the logical level, the pyramid, not the behavior, you want to start with the identity. Because when we start there, just like the smoker, whatever the identity is, everything else will follow. So here's a huge question that I have for you. If you're not driving, write this down. The question is this, what would be the identity of someone who already has what I want?I'll repeat, what would be the identity of someone who already the operative word is already? What would be the identity of someone who already has what I want. And I want you to consider that. What I want you to do is look out in the world. Look, you look around, and I want you to look for someone who already has what you want. And then I want I want you to ask yourself, how, how is their identity different than mine? What identity would I need? And then you look at this is plain and simple. People make this really hard. While How do I get that identity easy? You start thinking that way?
You know, I once had someone actually mentioned to me, they said, Well, Jim, you know, Can Can you help me here? Can you give me steps to being happy. And I had to giggle with that. Because the way to be happy is the way to be happy. There are no steps to be happy, you just be happy, happy as a factory setting. We all know how to be happy. And when I say all I shouldn't say all 99.9% of us, we know how to be happy. But this person was looking for ways to build an extra steps. And she couldn't be happy until she had steps to being happy. Now there's a whole different coaching lesson that went on there. But what I want you to get right now is I want you to ask yourself, what would be the identity of someone who already has what I want. Now I know that also a lot of successful people. I coach, and they listen to me, and they're making a million, 2 million 3, 4 million a year, 5 million, some six, seven, and eight, and some even more. For the most part, most of us want to go to a higher stage in life. And the reality is if you're making 3 million, but you want to make 10, the person making 10 most likely has a different identity than the person making 3 million. Just like a person making 300,000 has a different identity than a person making $30,000 a year.
So your transformational takeaway from this episode is what identity what I need to have to create blank in my life. What identity what I need to have to start creating blank in my life. When you start working from there, what will happen is you'll find that you'll start doing different things because now you're working from a different place. Okay, so now we've got you started thinking about your identity and knowing that the foundation of your life comes down to your identity because as I'm going to say for the third time, you cannot outperform your identity.
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know, if you found value, they will do so please share via your social media channels. Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to email@example.com. And I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is @iamjimfortin. Finally I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together, you and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening.