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The Jim Fortin Podcast

EPISODE 342: “Conversations with a Sorcerer: Life Lessons, the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Part Two”

October 16, 2024

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In today’s episode, I continue building on the themes of life lessons, letting go, and personal healing, diving deeper into how these elements shape our spiritual and emotional journey. We explore the profound importance of releasing emotional burdens, which often stem from both good and painful experiences.  

Don Xavier teaches that these experiences are meant to guide us, yet unresolved grief and emotional toxicity can keep us trapped in the past, preventing us from living fully in the present. One powerful analogy Don Xavier shares is the “bag of rocks”—how many of us carry the heavy weight of our past experiences like a sack full of rocks on our shoulders.

This emotional burden holds us back, making it impossible to move forward with lightness and freedom. By letting go of these rocks, we can free ourselves from the unnecessary weight and open up to the lessons and growth each experience brings. 

We’ll dive into the concept of self-healing and the role of therapy as a guide rather than a solution. Don Xavier emphasizes that true healing comes from within, encouraging us to stop relying on external sources to “fix” us. The bag of rocks metaphor ties into this idea—no one else can take that burden off our shoulders; we must make the conscious decision to release it ourselves.

We also explore the dangers of self-judgment and comparison, which block our path to happiness and transformation. By letting go of the past and its emotional weight, we create space for healing, personal growth, self-acceptance, and emotional well-being. 

What You’ll Discover in This Episode: 

  • Life Lessons and Letting Go (02:51): How the good, the bad, and the ugly of life teach us valuable lessons for personal growth. 
  • Healing from Within (06:10): Why no one can heal you unless you're willing to heal yourself. 
  • The Power of Observation (11:29): How observing people without judgment helps you grow in wisdom and compassion. 
  • Self-Acceptance and Happiness (17:20): How embracing who you are paves the way for true emotional well-being and happiness. 
  • Letting Go of Past Baggage (23:01): The metaphor of carrying a bag of rocks, representing the emotional weight we hold onto, and how to release it. 

Listen, apply and enjoy!

Transformational Takeaway

To experience happiness and peace, you must let go of the emotional baggage from your past and embrace self-acceptance. The power to heal and grow lies within you, and by learning these lessons, you can transform your life from the inside out.

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Full Episode Transcript

You’re listening to the Transform Your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is titled, “Conversations with a Sorcerer, Life Lessons: The Good, Bad, and the Ugly, Part Two.” I know it’s a long title, but hey, this is a continuation of the last episode. In the last episode, we talked about life lessons. We talked about letting go of things. We talked about people transitioning, as you may call it, dying. And in this episode, it’s a continuation of the last. I want to pick up and dig into where we left off.

Hi, I’m Jim Fortin, and you’re about to start transforming your life from the inside out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation, and I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here you’re going to find no rah-rah motivation and no hype because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you’ve never thought possible.

If you’re wanting a lot more in life—to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life—then this podcast is for you because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you.

I’m glad you’re here. In the introduction, I talked about the things we discussed in the last episode: learning your life lessons from the good, bad, and ugly. We talked about people transitioning in the last episode, and many people won’t let go of their feelings and their emotions, which leads them to hurt themselves.

He went on to say in this conversation that when people transition, they leave the body and go through a process, and you also have to go through your own process. As they go through theirs, you go through yours. Now, in the last episode, we also talked about people going to therapy. I’m going to interject here a little bit.

When people get grief counseling, it’s more for guidance than anything else, but the grief counselor cannot heal the person going through the grief. And no one can assist you as you’re going through your process because you are the only one who knows how you’re processing what’s happening inside of you. Even though people can be a sounding board, no one can heal you; we can only heal ourselves, especially if we’re seeking external guidance or assistance.

He went on to say—and I’ve seen this to be true—there comes a point in life when we have to say, “I have to let that go enough. We’re all going to die, but we’re eternal beings.” I’ve seen that in him over the years. Many people, even those around him, experience a lot of grief over transitions—whether it’s pets, loved ones, or companions—but I’ve never, in 28 years, ever seen him grief-stricken over anyone or anything’s passing, not once.

I tell you this because he walks his talk with that, and it’s something I’m learning. I’ve made a lot of progress over the years, as I’ve come to accept that it is what it is. We’re all on that journey home. An example I got from him is that we’re all on a train—some people are at the front, some at the back—but we’re all headed to the same place: home. So, I recognize that truism. When people transition, I can be sad for a bit, but I let it go because I know I’m not far behind them. Whether it’s 10, 20, or 30 years, that’s a short time in the grand scheme of things.

Then he went on to say that a lot of times, people beat themselves up even more when something happens to others around them or to themselves. That’s when he went into something I alluded to in the last episode: many times, people go to therapy looking for someone to fix them, but no one can fix you. He said, “I and other people can guide you, but no one can fix you.”

And then he said something really interesting here, which is along the lines of secondary gain, something I talked about in the transformational takeaway in the last episode: no one can fix or heal you if you don’t want to be fixed or healed. Ponder that. No one can fix or heal you if you don’t want to be fixed or healed. When I say “fixed,” it’s just a colloquial word. To be fixed would imply that you’re broken, and you’re not broken. We are all operational systems. We are all systems of energy. But I think you know what I mean—meaning we’re not getting the outcome that we want. There’s something broken with me. I’m broken. There’s something wrong with me. But really, we just are who we are; we’re a product of our experiences, but we have to heal.

Now, as I said again, I want to be very careful with what I’m saying here. I’m not dissuading you from going to therapy. I mean this with a lot of kindness, respect, and humility. Many people, even listening now, don’t have the guidance I’ve had—working with a shaman—to have, I would say, a guide. So, many times we go to therapy because we need a guide, and I would say that’s great if it helps you in that way. The therapist can be a sounding board and a guide, asking you questions and such, but just be mindful that you won’t heal until you let go of the past and recognize, “Hey, that’s all a lesson, and I have to learn my lessons.”

Now, don’t throw rocks at me for what I’m going to say next. This is him, not me, but I’m just telling you the truth because I want to do that in these episodes. He said many times when people go to therapy, especially psychotherapy, and start digging into their past—many years ago, I went to an inner child workshop program, and he said to me, “You can do that, but it’s not a good idea.” He said, “When we do things like that, we go back, and we live in the past. Then we call up the painful energy from what happened many years ago into the now, and we make what happened 20, 30 years ago—that painful energy we need to leave buried, so to speak—become part of our life now.”

Then he went on to say, “We’re not the same.” That’s a truism when you really think about it. We’re not the same as we were a month ago. Whatever happened a month ago is gone—the good, the bad, the ugly—whatever it was, it’s gone. So the good memories—you hold them. You hold them, and you cherish them. The good lessons—you hold them so you don’t have to repeat the opposite again. You hold the good lessons as a guide in life, as a guide for future experiences.

Now, he went somewhere else here, and I wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe it’ll pop in my head as I’m sharing this with you because, as I mentioned many times, he segues, threads, and weaves things together. The conversations I have with him amount to gigabytes—I probably have 100 gigabytes on my phone—so I never know where he’s going to go or where it’s going to weave. But he talked about observing people, and he said observing people is a wonderful way to learn. 

That’s why people get such amazing results in the Transformational Coaching Program. Even though it’s a private community, we’re very open with who we are as people in that community. When people observe others being open, vulnerable, sharing, learning, and growing, they also learn to do that as a result of observing.

So, he went on to say that when we observe people, we can learn a lot from them. When we watch people without judgment or criticism—and here he used an interesting phrase—we become encyclopedias. What he meant was that when we observe people without judgment or criticism, we become an encyclopedia of human experience. We can learn from that experience by observing: “Oh, this person went through this, and that person went through that, and here’s how to do this, and here’s how to do that, and here’s how they got through it.”

We become encyclopedias of knowledge. He said, “It’s fascinating for me to watch people.” He says, “We learn when we watch people who come from all conditions and all walks of life.”

I want to share a story here before I go into the next part of the conversation. I remember him telling me a story when he was a little boy, apprenticing under Don Juan in Mexico, and he saw some boys eating out of a dumpster. That was the abject poverty they were living in. He was looking at the boys and said to Don Juan, “How sad those boys are, having to eat out of a dumpster.” Don Juan said, “How arrogant of you to make that comment. Those boys are learning lessons that you will never have the opportunity to learn in this lifetime.”

So when we’re observing, oftentimes as human beings, we’re judging people. We think, “Why are they doing that? Why don’t they do it better? Why don’t they do it this way?” And then many people think, “I’m better than that person.” And Don Xavier left me with a profound thought: “How do you know you’re better than that person?” You might do something differently, but how do you know you’re better? That’s ego. He said, “You’re not here to judge anyone for anything. You cannot judge anyone.”

A better word might be “evaluate.” You cannot evaluate someone unless you have the personal power to see them. But then you have to apply the codes of conduct. I’m not going to share the codes of conduct in any of these episodes because they were given to me by Don Xavier, but basically, they are personal conducts of behavior. One of the personal codes of conduct is to treat all people 100%. Do I always live by that? Nope, but I’m working on it, and I’m mindful of it—treating everyone 100%, which is something Don Xavier taught me and those who have worked with him over the years.

When he says, “You cannot judge or evaluate someone unless you have the personal power,” he, being a shaman, has the personal power to see their karma and their past lives. One time, he and I were talking, and I was lamenting about how people do some really horrible things on the planet. He said to me, “You know, if I showed you some of your former lives, you might not be so pleased with yourself.” I was cracking up because I know that’s true, even though I don’t know it’s true. I know it’s true because I wasn’t always this sweet, lovable, adorable guy—and I’m kidding, I’m not saying I am that at all. But I do my best to treat people well. I’m human, I fall off the horse sometimes, things happen, but I’m very mindful of cleaning up my energy.

But when he said that to me, it hit home. I don’t know if I was judging someone in that conversation, but I was saying, “Why? Why do people hurt others? Why do they do that?” And that’s when he said, “Well, if I showed you some of your past lives, you wouldn’t be too pleased with yourself.” So, if someone isn’t doing XYZ in their life, that is their choice. It’s not your place to tell them they have to do it differently just because that’s how you would do it differently.

He went on to say—slowly, so think about this—we look at other people and see their skin color, socioeconomics, or whatever it might be, and we say, “I’m different because I’m XYZ, because I’m white, or black, or male, or Christian, or whatever it might be.” But the truth is, no one is any better than anyone else. There’s no difference between any of us. We are all here to learn from one another—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

He also said, which relates to what I was talking about earlier, that when you have memory, and he doesn’t just mean memory from this lifetime, but the memory of your consciousness, you can see all the things you’ve been through. When you can see all the things you’ve been through from all your former incarnations on this planet, there’s no reason, no need to judge.

He went on to say, and this is going to hit home with a lot of people listening, about the trolls—he’s talking about people online. People like me who are online get trolls all the time. I get hated on a lot by people who know nothing about me. They’ll troll on ads, or even the podcast, or YouTube comments, etc. And it’s okay. But he said, for many of you that are worried about what other people think—they’re just trolls. Who cares?

I’ve watched him say that for many years—who cares? He said, “We cannot find approval from the eyes of others, only from our own eyes.” I will repeat that: “We cannot find approval from the eyes of others, only from our own eyes.” And when we can find approval in ourselves, from our own eyes, that is an incredible stage of well-being.

Ponder that. And as I’ve said before, he has always said that the most powerful place we can live from is a state of well-being. When we can appreciate ourselves and have affection for ourselves, that’s all that matters, because that is well-being.

He continued in the conversation, and this part was interesting to me. He said it’s interesting to see people waste their lives because they’re entangled in their past. They think, “Poor me, this happened to me because XYZ.” He further explained that people get entangled in their negativity because of what others think about them, which leads them to feel bad about themselves. They bathe themselves in it, and as I said in the last episode, it’s all energetic toxicity—bathing in the opinions of others.

Then he said something very powerful. People often say, “I’m this way because of XYZ. I’m upset because of XYZ. I’m sad long term because of XYZ.” He went on to say, “It’s not because XYZ happened. You are the power of choice. Choose wisely.”

Think about that. Where do most people choose from? They choose from their “because, because, because,” which is from their past and not the now. We have to choose from the now. So, back to the context of the last conversation—we have to learn our lessons, the good, the bad, and the ugly, whatever they are. We have to learn those lessons and gain from them so that we’re not carrying the heavy load of rocks.

Don Xavier often uses this as a metaphor. Many of us walk through life with a burlap bag full of rocks on our shoulders. I want to segue here. Don Juan said, “In life, many of us hold all of our past, all of our stuff, all of our ‘because, because, because’ from our past, and we think people don’t understand it. We carry it like a heavy bag of rocks on our shoulders, going, ‘You don’t understand my past, you don’t understand how bad I had it, you don’t understand…’ and then we metaphorically bump into other people carrying their bags of rocks, yelling at them, and they’re yelling at us.” Everyone thinks their bag of rocks is heavier than anyone else’s. It’s not true. Everyone is carrying their own bag of rocks.

But the question is, how does carrying that bag of rocks affect you? You have to learn, gain, and grow so you can let that bag of rocks go. As Don Xavier says, “It’s taxing, it’s toxic.” For many of us, it closes our hearts and makes us bitter. Then, through energetics and frequency, it brings more toxicity into our lives.

Think about that. If I’m upset because XYZ happened to me in my life—this person stole from me, this person did that, whatever—and I’m carrying that bag of rocks like a burlap sack over my shoulder, I’m bringing more toxicity into my life energetically. By the law of attraction, that’s where my energy is focused. And remember, you are where your attention is. That’s where my energy is, so I’m attracting more of that toxicity into my life. Then we wonder why it becomes a spiral of toxicity, why bad things always happen over and over—it’s all because of choice.

I’ve seen this for years from Don Xavier. In 28 years, I kid you not, I’m not exaggerating in any way, I’ve never seen him angry. I’ve never seen him yell or scream at anyone. I’ve never seen him belittle anyone. He most often uses what he calls his silence. He just sits in a bubble of happiness all the time. And I’m laughing because it’s such a blissful, peaceful place to be through observation, as I’m learning my lessons. He often says, “Find yourself in a stage of happiness.”

He said, “That stage is so valuable, and we have to let go of the trauma, anger, excuses, self-pity, fear, and all those things. We have to use our intelligence to let go of what we don’t want to let go of, because we’re not learning our lessons, which keeps us from that stage of happiness and peace of mind.”

When we learn to do that, we learn to let go of the bag of rocks. We retain the memory, we hold the memory, and in those areas of our lives, other people stop controlling us. Other people stop bringing toxicity into our lives, which many of us are consuming and bringing in ourselves. We then attract more toxicity, and we have to let it go.

Next, he went into the topic of kindness. We have to be kind to ourselves and to others. As I say that, I ask you listening right now—how kind are you to yourself? You may think you’re kind to others, but that’s not what I’m asking. How kind are you to yourself? Because if you’re not kind to yourself, number one—you’re not learning your lessons. If you’re not learning your lessons, you’re just attracting more of the lessons you don’t want back into your life. We have to learn our lessons, let go of the past, live in the now, and resonate with a higher frequency and vibration to live in peace of mind.

Hopefully, this all made sense. Now, what I’m going to do is I’m going to actually only have two episodes in this particular part, or whatever you want to call it, the last one and this one. But where I want to go to, as I was doing this episode, I started thinking, “Okay, what are my next episodes going to be about?”

I’m going to start doing episodes on—are you ready?—being happy. Don Xavier constantly, constantly says, “Find yourself in a state of happiness. Find yourself in a state of peace,” meaning make the choices to let go of your stuff, to be in those states. So, that being said, that’s what we’re going to pick up with in the next episode.

But to recapitulate this episode—because we went a little bit in a different direction than the last one—your transformational takeaways:

1. Every single thing that happens in your life is a lesson so that you can grow and evolve spiritually.
2. Let go of your past. What happened? That is not now; that was then. If we don’t let go of the past, we let the past fester, and we bring more negativity into our lives.
3. Secondary gain: ask yourself, “All the negativity I’m holding onto from my past—what lessons have I not learned? What am I holding onto? What do I refuse to let go of?”
4. The fourth transformational takeaway, which we’ll pick up in the next episode, is being happy. Be happy, and I’ll dive more into that.

And one final comment here is this: living from your past. I was telling the coaches today—I coach my coaches on a Monday call—and my coaches coach my groups, and I’m in the group too, but I’m always coaching my coaches. And I told them about letting go of your past, which is such a nebulous concept for many of us.

Here’s an easy way to start letting go of your past: when you’re feeling bad about something, think about this—listen carefully—when you’re feeling bad about something, fear, shame, sadness, whatever it might be, that’s not the now. You’re not feeling that from what just happened now; you’re generally thinking about something that happened in the past.

I recognized in my own life, when I’m feeling bad about something, or resentful, or angry, I created all those imprints in my past. And for me to actually get into those emotions is me living in my past, which I do not want to do. I endeavor, I choose, I’m working on living in the now.

So think about that, and I may actually add that into the next episode. But definitely, we’re going to start talking about happiness and how to be happy every single day.

Thanks for listening, and I’ll catch you over on another episode. Bye-bye.

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Jim Fortin

Jim is an international subconscious self-transformation and high performance expert with over two decades of expertise in brain based transformation and high performance. Using a brain based approach coupled with transformational psychology and ancient wisdom Jim has created programs that create long-term core-level life transformation in his students.

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