I had been in self -deception for years. You know how if you’re on a snowy road
and you’re driving in the tire tracks and you can’t see anything in front of you
because it’s like a blizzard. So you just stay in the tire tracks. You know it’s
going to lead somewhere. You know someone’s in front of you. They’ve gotten there.
Must be okay. That’s the path to follow. Don’t get out of the tracks because you’re
going to get stuck. That was me. I had someone I looked up to go to the Naval
Academy. I thought that was the way to be accepted and it was right before I was
gonna take the oath of office that it was just like I couldn’t do it. My body and
every fiber of my being was like teal. This is not me I have written on my mirror
and around places my journal, whatever. There’s two words. There’s love and there’s
fun Love yourself. Oh my gosh. Just love yourself so fiercely.
You’re listening to the Transform Your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This is an
interview with a former TCP student. Her name is Teal Shoup, and she’s going to
share her story with you about how, through working with me and the transformational
coaching program, program, she literally busted through multiple decades, as she says,
multiple decades long cycle of depression and hateful intentions toward herself. She
actually left behind a toxic corporate career. She healed her body and became a mom.
And now she helps other women as well raise their frequency so that they can create
what they want in life. So this is going to be a juicy episode. And if you want
to see how she broke out of a toxic career, healed her body, and actually left
behind decades of depression and hateful intentions. Keep listening. Okay,
so we’re back and we’re digging in with Teal. Thank you for being here today. I
really appreciate it, and it’s nice to see you. So nice to see you too, Jim.
Always just a joy. Always a joy. Thank you. Thank you so much for agreeing. And
when I put out the call for people that wanted to be on the podcast. You’re one
of the first ones that reached out. And even though that I know you through our
work together, I did not know that you had experienced, you had suffered literally,
you said decades long, or a decades long cycle of depression. So let’s just dig in
there and start there. Tell us about that, if you would, to whatever degree you’re
comfortable. Yeah. No, sure. It’s so funny, I mean, you’re not the only one that
didn’t know, right? So many, I think people go through this and it’s sort of a
hidden thing, right? – Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We go
through what? You mean depression? – When we go through like our mental health
challenges, depression, or having really a lot of challenges in our own life and
other people don’t know about it ’cause we look so put together on the outside,
right? Even my husband didn’t know until very, very recently. But for me,
my cycles of depression started, I mean, I know when it happened, like, boom, down
to the minute, basically, when I was 18. And long story short,
I was lined up to attend the United States Naval Academy. This was something I had
worked on for years. – Oh my gosh, I didn’t know any of this. I’ve been coaching
you for like a year. – Most people don’t, most people don’t because it was like, it
was a story then, how it all played out that like I buried, I had so much shame
and guilt about this trajectory that my life took that like no one knows about it,
except like my parents, my brother, my husband. – Well, now the, we have about 100
,000 downloads a month. Now more people are going to know about it. – Yay. – We’re
gonna dig into this, but what I want people to know is, wow, I didn’t know this
and I wanna talk and keep on going about, how did you get out of this? Okay, so
you were supposed to go to the Naval Academy. – Right. – Okay. – I’m supposed to go
to the Naval Academy. Right, juicy story. But here’s the thing, like I had been in
self -deception for years. You imagine, Jim, like, this is great, it’s a snow day
here and I’m watching the snow fall literally, so it’s like, I have the best way
to describe this. You know how if you’re on a snowy road, right, and you’re driving
in the tire tracks, and you can’t see anything in front of you because it’s like a
blizzard, so you just stay in the tire tracks. Yeah. You know it’s going to lead
somewhere, you know someone’s in front of you, they’ve gotten there, it must be
okay, that’s the path to follow. – Yeah. – Right, don’t get out of the tracks
because you’re gonna get stuck. You don’t know where to go, you don’t know where to
go. – Wow. – That was me. Like, I had someone I looked up to go to the Naval
Academy. I thought that was the way to be accepted, to get out of all of,
as a child, you know, feeling left out and bullied.
And as a really smart kid who always did really well, being always ostracized,
and I thought, you know what? This is then the path to acceptance. This is the
path to people liking me and freedom and all of those things.
You know, finally I’m gonna be accepted. I’m gonna be a valuable part of society.
People are gonna look up to me, even though I wasn’t looking for like the
accolades, but I felt safe. So despite what you were saying, I think I heard you,
but I want to recapitulate that. You went there looking for acceptance, but then
didn’t you say that you weren’t looking for acceptance, or at least you thought you
weren’t, which is the reason you went there? Did I hear that correctly? – Yeah, you
so did. Like I thought, I thought these were the things I wanted, right?
– Because you were conditioned to be that. – Because I was conditioned to believe
these things. – By who?
– This is a story I’m still unpacking. Like I know their stories from my parents
and my parents are just incredible people. Like they are active in my life. Now
they’re beautiful, wonderful people, but I know their stories there. I know for a
fact many, many of the stories I unpacked came from like, I was like three and
starting preschool. And it was stuff in preschool with other little kids. So some of
these things came in even that early of feeling like I’m a three -year -old and
already I’m an outcast. You know, what’s interesting is we talk about that a lot on
TCP is how you become who you are. And we don’t recognize that we start literally
at two, three, four, five, six years old. And when we tell people that, they
literally literally negated, they just don’t pay attention to it. So you’re
recognizing that, yes, I did start becoming. How did you recognize that? – Really
through your program, Jim, like I’d entered your program originally to like,
make money, grow my business, right? – That’s everyone you see this, everybody comes
in, I want to make money, right? – Yeah, and then we get in there and you’re like,
– Yeah, do the work on yourself kiddo, man. Like look inside here.
And that’s so what it was for me. When you were telling me about stories,
when you were telling me about personal responsibility, because I then saw like,
oh crap, I’ve gone my entire life being this very, what I thought very independent,
very responsible, like promoted super fast, achieved everything,
got every dang award in the books, like 30 years old, rising through the ranks and
beating out all the men as an engineer and what I did for my career for so long,
you know. It was like a super rocket accelerator, but that was so false because I
wasn’t being responsible to myself and who I actually was. Now, hang on, because I
know you so, let’s go back to the tracks in the snow, okay? So you were in the
tracks in the snow, living your life in the tracks in the snow. Now as I think
about the Naval Academy, you know that I know Gary Zucoff, and I’ve interviewed him.
He is so far today. I mean, he was special forces in the military, and that is so
far away from who he is as a being. Now, And the way that I know you, and you
talk about Naval Academy, I mean, we’re talking apples and these don’t fit, they
don’t work together, you know, because I know you as a soulful, soulful being,
not somebody out pushing buttons, blowing things up. Right. So, seriously. Okay.
So, I mean, I’m laughing over that. It’s true. So, were you in the tracks that you
had been conditioned to be in, like Many people listening are in tracks and they
don’t even know it. They can be cultural, they can be social, family, familial,
whatever. But you were in the tracks, and you didn’t even know you were in the
tracks, but these tracks really don’t seem to me, as I know you, to be conducive
to your soul energy. Is that a fair statement at all? It’s so fair. It’s so fair.
It blows my mind that I was even on that path, being where I am now,
I mean, it set me up for so many, I mean, all of it is blessings, but all of
the things that came from it led me to here. But that situation, like another
little story with it, I’m there. So when you go into the Naval Academy, you have
what’s called induction day. I believe it was July 1st. I had a roommate in the
Naval Academy. Yeah, I’m with you. – Yeah, so I’m there with my parents in
Annapolis, Maryland, right? I’m ready to go and take my oath of office and do all
the things. I just graduated high school, I’m 18 years old, I’m gonna sign up for
four years of college, plus like four to eight then of service, right? It’ll be
free, I won’t be burdened to my parents, right? I don’t have to pay for me to go
to college. Like I’m like lower working, lower middle class family, right? We don’t
have a ton of money. But I’m sitting there with my mom on a bench at the harbor,
and there’s a mama duck and baby ducks swimming below us. I knew something was
wrong because my internal system is I get sick to my stomach when things are so
out of whack from my soul. I threw up on the baby ducks.
– Lucky ducks, wow. No potato. – Yeah. – That whole phrase gives you a new meaning.
– Oh my God, oh my God, I threw up on the baby duck so the mama duck and like,
I mean, all over myself. – Yeah. – Right? And I’m like, crap, I know this is wrong,
but I kept going through the day and it was right before I was gonna take the
oath of office that it was just like, I couldn’t do it. My body and every fiber
of my being was like, Teal, this is not you. This is not you, This is not you.
So I didn’t take the oath. I got on a plane and went home. My parents came home.
We flew all the way back across the country. I was growing up in Central Washington
at the time and I had no idea what to do with my life. None, like this had been
my trajectory for years now ’cause you prepare a lot to go in to the name of
Academy. – Well, in terms of your identity and uncycling yourself up and this is who
I am of this is my future. So then everything came like unraveled. Now, before you
keep going, in my experience of having clinical depression a couple of years later
than you, I was 22 or 23, I had clinical depression, panic attacks,
and anxiety attacks. You had mentioned depression. I did not know. I mean, because
all of my work’s been with you. You’ve been very quiet, but you’re seeing, I mean,
you show up, but I did not No, this is fascinating. I did not know this. Do you
think the clinical depression or the depression, as you call it, came from such a
refusal to acknowledge who and what you were and how you are at a soulful core
level? – Yeah, it was completely with that and the story from all of this
exploration over this over the past years and then working with you was this story
of my mistakes hurt other people and talk about like anchor chains and guilt and
shame of like, I have to be perfect, I can’t make mistakes, I’ve failed here,
now what do I do with my life and how is this gonna reflect on my parents? Are
they gonna have to pay for me with money they money they don’t have. I couldn’t
get out of my bed. Hang on. I would assume, and you said it in some way, that
you were experiencing a lot of shame by letting your parents down because they were
probably pretty proud. Their daughter is going to the Naval Academy. They got all
puffed up and they’re all excited and all proud. I mean, we’re humble people. Look
what happens. Our daughter is amazing. Then you don’t do this. And then you go a
different direction. So I’m going to show them a whole lot of fear, as you just
said, letting my parents down, but a whole lot of shame came with that. Yeah, which
is so funny because now when I’ve talked with them, they weren’t that way at all.
But isn’t it amazing how as kids, we can look at our parents even through glasses
glasses that the world has given us thinking that, like, don’t let your parents
down. Don’t let them, you know, feel shame or guilt about you and what you do,
right? Your representation of your parents. But then I thought, that’s a world story.
That wasn’t even my parent’s story, but I had attributed that story to my parents.
And they were nothing but not completely supportive and fine. Like,
they’re very well -adjusted people. They didn’t carry that. – I want to accentuate
that for a moment. We tried so hard to make our parents proud. When I was in
college, I had an internship in the governor’s office in Texas and a local paper
printed it and all that. And then all the local people read it and they said,
“Back when politics “was at least a little bit honorable.” You know? And,
you know, my parents were all proud. Their son was doing things and he’s going
places. And I didn’t want to do anything to disappoint my parents because I wanted
them. I didn’t recognize it then as I recognize it now is I didn’t want to
disappoint them and me, but I liked how proud they were of me. And so we have
these stories at that age and even younger of if we please our parents, they’re
going to love us and we’re going to be accepted and we’re going to get the pat on
the head. And many people listening live in this very same bubble, not even knowing
they’re living in the bubble. I keep calling it clinical because there is a
distinction between being in a funk and literally verifiable clinical depression. But
it sounds like you had clinical depression and the story continues. So what happened?
Yeah. Well, I mean, it’s like all of that summer now, like when my friends are
getting ready to go to college, I’d already turned down all the other colleges I
was going to go to, right? Some of them was huge scholarships and all this other
stuff, right? And I just was sleeping basically 24 hours a day.
I couldn’t get out of bed. I could barely take care of myself. But yet,
like, there’s no admitting there’s a problem, there’s no, you know, reaching out for
help. I mean, my parents are up and about, they’re going to work. And eventually my
mom called around back to one of the colleges, I turned down and they were still
able to give me a spot. So then I still went to For You University, got my
degrees in engineering, again, repeating in a path that seemed to look like security,
right? Engineering, you make money, you’re smart, right? That’s a solid, safe career,
right? Hang on, hang on. Which different is or not noticed here by maybe some
people, and it’s still prevalent today, engineering and like the technological field
is male dominated. I mean, even like here and in my company, when we’re hiring tech
positions, eight out of 10 applications are males, not females. So, was there a
certain level of pride associated that, “Oh my gosh, my daughter’s going to be and
you even thinking I’m going to be an engineer now in a man’s world?” A little bit.
It was just more of, “I’m good at math. I’m going to do this and it’s going to
make me a lot of money, so I’m going to be safe.” Interesting. And what I saw was
the tie of, “Do things like a man because men are safe. – Interesting,
before you keep on going, what have you learned over the years, and especially after
working together, is it true that if you make a lot of money, you’re safe? – Oh,
absolutely not. Money has nothing to do with safety. Money’s just money. Money can
make things a little smoother, a little easier, but it can’t buy you out of safety
or anything, and safety’s just an illusion. – Yeah, it can’t buy you out of
impression, it can’t buy you out of fear. For the most part, it can’t buy you out
of a lot of things. But so many people listening, and I really don’t enjoy doing
them so much anymore, podcast on money, because people don’t recognize, and you know
now, now know, when you heal inside and find your own power, you recognize you can
go make the money. It’s not something you have to chase that owns you anymore,
which is what so many people do. Yeah. Okay. I don’t mean to cut that story short,
but let’s fast forward. So then you said, when you had mentioned wanting to be on
the podcast, okay, how in the hell did you allow yourself to get into a toxic
career?
Just keep climbing the ladder, Jim. Just keep climbing the ladder, right? More money,
more success, right? Wait a minute. Were you happy while you’re climbing the ladder?
F no. what were you thinking? I mean, because I see a lot of people listening,
some might be happy because that’s their path. But a lot of people are chasing the
externals and climbing the ladder because they think, “Oh, the higher I climb, the
more money I make, the more people are going to look at me and say good things
about me, the more proud mom and dad are going to be, and I’m going to have more
money in the bank.” And that was the tire tracks you were on, even even climbing
that corporate path. So you were climbing the corporate path because I have a friend
of mine who went to the Air Force Academy and he went because his parents, same
story as you, except he’s a guy from Colorado, same story. And I’m like, did you
like the Air Force Academy? And he goes, God, no, I hated going to the Air Force
Academy because he’s a soulful spiritualist, you know? And so he hated it. So okay,
so then you went corporate, How long did you do that? – It was a decade, but I
didn’t believe that I knew any other way. It just seemed again, like these tire
tracks are easier. If I actually take the time and think about, hey,
maybe I should get into singing, which I love, or art, or coaching, or help people,
or do these other things that I knew I enjoyed as a kiddo, I don’t know,
that’s not going to work out so great. So why am I going to explore that? I’m not
going to open my heart to that and then feel like afraid and out of control.
Control was always a huge part of this because it was like holding on to control
of my anything to keep me from just shattering into a million pieces with the
depression and all of the negative thoughts. And so we’ll just stay in this narrow
path. Stay in this paradise. Hang on. So Let’s talk about this a lot in TCP.
What’s your take on control now?
Yeah. Ah, toxic. Toxic. We don’t control anything. We just make up this nonsense to
help ourselves feel like we’re coping to feel then the safety, which is an illusion,
right? To feel like, “Oh, we’re going to make it through the day, and if I control
this, it’s going to work out really great,” And it’s absolutely opposite of that and
you’ve heard me say a bazillion times when we get in the control We’re controlled
by the illusion of control Recognizing we’re controlled by the illusion of control
when there is no such thing as control all the power given away and What I learned
then with working through you and it was just like this incredible aha moment was
no wonder I didn’t want to listen to my heart and my soul no wonder I had a hard
time hearing intuition or leaning into it because when you are in control, when you
are in fear, you’re deaf to that. It speaks to you in love and in peace.
It’s caring and compassionate. It’s a whisper. It’s not this big horn blowing in
your ear. So when you’re into just fear and survival, you just don’t even notice
even when you do look, right? Yeah. And it was just, oh my God,
the light bulb moments then of I have to get out of this. I don’t have to do
anything, but the path is out of this fear. The path is surrender.
The path is just stop, right? Hang on before we keep going is I didn’t know this
till we did our demographics into the year this year. On Spotify, our biggest
demographics, which was shocking to me, our number one audience in the world is in
Australia on Spotify. That didn’t surprise me. What surprised me is you know that
most people in TCP are probably 27, 28, and up all the way to 80,
but most people are in the 30 to 55 range. And our largest demographic on Spotify
was Australian and between 26 and 30. So there’s gonna be a lot of people listening
right now that are that motivation driven and achievement and achievement and
achievement and career and money. What’s your message to that demographic? – Gosh,
I’m just like, wow, I was in the thick of it then. I just, yeah, the message for
that is, Oh my gosh. Yeah, this is so powerful. Thank you, Jim. Just love yourself.
Oh my gosh. Just love yourself so fiercely because that is then how you live,
right? That is how you hear, how you’re one with your soul to then be on that
journey that lights you up to have the courage to say, “World, I hear you,
I see you, but your dictates, your path, your programming doesn’t resonate with me,”
right? Love yourself so fiercely. That saved my life,
Jim. That’s amazing. And let’s dig into that and unpack that a little. So you were
in the toxic corporate career. And I would say that your days were probably not
enjoyable days. You know, you probably didn’t, you probably got up a lot of days
and didn’t like what you did. Probably, you know, I don’t wanna choose words for
you, but maybe just not enjoying your day, maybe complaining, maybe like, here we go
again. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I gotta get off this mirror, go around
somewhere. Were you still, You didn’t use these words. You used depression.
Were you at any point suicidal during any of that? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.
It was before I quit my career, I was leading a major international project.
I was a professional senior project manager and doing $100 million international
projects, leading teams. And to suffice it to say, the project had been set up to
fail from the start through some interesting leadership and contractual choices and
they’re on a witch hunt and they’re looking for someone to hang up for how badly
it is going. Never mind that I was like one of their top performers in this
company, but they’re going to hang it up on me. And the just mental and emotional
abuse and toxicity from what had once been a supportive leadership to you and a
company, they turned on me. All for profit. I didn’t know what to do with that.
All for profit. Yeah, for profit, to save face also, because this was then a public
project. Yeah. Let me ask you this, when we met, were you still,
we met what, three years ago? Well, it was
beginning of 2020, actually, I mean late 2019, because I started in B2Hive back in
the day, and then came into TCP in 2020. Okay. Well, you’re still working your
corporate job then. I had left at that time, but the circumstances in my life were
shifting so that I was threatened to have to go back. – Threatened to have to go
back to the corporate? – To the corporate stuff, yeah. – Were you married at that
point? – I was married at that point. Grateful, grateful, grateful for that because
it gave me some space to navigate not having to go back.
At the time I was then building my first small business
and things had taken a funny turn where I was receiving a lot of rejection at that
time and I wasn’t handling it well and it was pushing me back into the I’m making
mistakes and I’m failing and I’m going to hurt other people because I’ve made the
mistakes again. I’m going to hurt my husband. You know, I’m going to put us into
debt. Notice the pattern here, which you probably have noticed already. It’s about
I’m going to hurt mom and dad. I’m going gonna hurt my husband. I’m going to hurt
other people. So let me just stay completely fricking just suffocated and do what I
hate doing. Let it suck the life force out of me. But as long as they don’t hurt
other people, is that accurate? Absolutely. Absolutely. I see it everywhere now.
It’s like the broken story and the broken record over decades and decades.
And it’s plain pain is day now, but sure as hell did not see it at the time.
Do you think, and I have my opinion on this, but do you think that this led to
any of the illness you experienced? Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
You were talking about how I was feeling every morning getting up and going to
corporate. Well, Jim, I got up and threw up every morning. I was so anxious. Yeah.
Like, body is, like, done. I don’t want to,
you know, delve into anything too private, but was there any kind of illness that
you could share or would share? I mean, what were you experiencing besides just that
vomiting every morning? Was your body breaking down? Were you, like, because you
mentioned also, you didn’t mention it fully, but I know this because I’ve seen that
beautiful little soul of yours now, but was this affecting your ability to get
pregnant or any of that? Yeah, absolutely. It’s a funny thing sometimes for me to
explain because if you took me to a doctor, which we did, and they would look at
things and like, you’re healthy, tests fine, things good, but I didn’t feel fine,
right? The energy within my body, It’s like it wasn’t there Jim,
like sometimes I don’t even know how to explain this, but it’s like Can you be
dead and alive at the same time? You know, like it’s like the life energy in me
just wasn’t even there and that spark then to even create and conceive a beautiful
child because at the time then when you and I started working together, yeah, we
wanted to start a family and it wasn’t happening.
I could feel this in my body, but yet you go to medical professionals and they’re
like, “Yeah, we run the tests, we look at the things, we do stuff.” It’s fine, but
I’m like, “Okay, so this isn’t something Western medicine then understands.
this is what I feel though, but it’s completely real. And so it’s just energy was
gone. And I don’t know where I am now. To me, this doesn’t sound ridiculous.
Maybe some people it does, but like, that’s a thing. You just don’t feel like you
are alive. Like that life force isn’t even there. We can relate to that when I had
clinical depression and anxiety and panic attacks. It was 1988, ’89.
I was the same way. I felt like the walking dead for about two years. And I mean,
I literally got through it myself. I lived on the beach, not on the beach, on the
beach, but on the beach community. I managed a t -shirt shop. I mean, it wasn’t
like a homeless person living in the sand. You pitched a tent. Exactly. I wasn’t
doing that, but I had no money. This is back during when I worked from circumstance
to depress Texas oil economy. The economy was not good and I literally was just,
I literally was existing every day. I wasn’t living. I was drinking every day.
It was just existing. It was almost, I felt hollow on the inside and it Sounds
like that’s how you felt. Now, let’s fast forward. So today, you’re none of that.
Is that a fair? Okay, good, you’re none of that. But what I’m a little confused
about is, so you’d been through all that, but then you’re looking for some way to
make more money. But didn’t, you just got off that hamster wheel.
How come you’re trying to get back on that hamster wheel again when we met? That’s
a really good question. What other way was there, you know, like that was back then
it was just, oh, I just must have not quite got the sequence right,
or maybe there’s this little piece I’m just didn’t understand, or if someone says it
a different way, I’ll get it this time, right? But you weren’t even sure what you
were going to get, meaning like I’m going to get what? That you were just looking
for an avenue in some way out of this tunnel, these tracks that you were in,
is that an accurate statement? – Absolutely, and whether that was a business,
whether that was, I don’t even know what, it was kind of a Hail Mary, you know,
right? – We’ve seen that a lot, and that scares me a little when people come into
TCP as a Hail Mary, because many times they don’t wanna do the work, They’re like,
“You do the work for me, gentlemen, and that’s going to be my Hail Mary.” Yeah. So
I’m a little afraid of that, but you already had the psychological fabric to make
up to get on my way. I will do the work. I will do what you show me to do. So
your Hail Mary actually was a caught pass. You caught it. Yeah. Yeah. Touchdown.
Well, I didn’t, I mean, okay. So you caught the pass. So where are you today?
What’s going on – Oh, yeah. Well, you know what? It’s so fun. I don’t think I’ve
had so much fun in my life in years. You know, like there’s just, I have written
on my mirror and around places, my journal, whatever, there’s two words. There’s two
words. There’s love and there’s fun. And I see that I was missing, providing that
for myself for most of my life. And so now I’m like amazing. I have an incredible
partner. My husband is just brilliant. He’s been with me since actually right.
We met when I was 18, when I started college. We went to college together.
And we’ve been together this entire time. So this man is not ain’t,
but he’s a saint, so. – As saintly as you can be, you will still be in the body.
So things are good. I am healthy, right? I feel energy inside.
My connection to myself, it’s like off the hook, and I use it now even to not
just help myself to hear my own intuition, to connect with Teal, Teal energy,
Teal soul, but I use it to help other women. And I teach this then to my
beautiful, beautiful, beautiful two -year -old daughter. – She’s gorgeous, yeah. – She’s
pure love, Jim. – I love when you were on the calls, when you were still in the
programs and you had her on your lap, you know? And she would just sit with you
and watch and absorb everything. Let’s go here for some practical takeaways for
people. What do you think? I didn’t give you any questions prior. So, we can take
our time on these. What do you think are the three biggest takeaways from your time
with me that people need to hear things that they may need to master,
manage, be aware of, and their own self? So, what would be the first one? Just
throw a dart. Oh, yeah. Just reach it? Yeah. I will throw a dart.
The one that just comes to me all the time, constant, constant, constant, constant
is your emotions. They will drive you off a cliff if you allow them because they
are all based on the stories, the programming, the nonsense that we tell ourselves
that the world has drilled into us. But we bury those emotions, we ignore them or
we make them mean things to suit purposes that feel comfortable or convenient.
– Okay, so hang on, that’s one, and you’ve heard me say in TCP, which I learned
from a coach of mine many years ago, Dr. Lori Emery, but Don Javier says it as
well. Don Javier says, “If you spend your life in your emotions, “you’re wasting
your life.” Now, Lori’s a lot nicer about that. Lori says, “If you get into your
emotions, “you’re going to find yourself in the ditch. And so many people out in
the world live their entire life in their emotions and wonder why things aren’t
going well. So number one, I would say becoming aware of and better self -management
of emotions. Absolutely. That’s an amazing one. What’s another one? Absolutely. Yeah,
in no particular order. The other, the second one that I live and breathe is what
you have always shared to us about the reciprocity of life. You can’t create in the
world what you do not create inside for yourself. And that was a wowser for me of
if I am not in giving and reciprocity and in love to myself, well,
yeah, it’s not going to be out there in my world. This is a beautiful cycle of
the receiving and the giving, the sharing, the receiving. A closed fist cannot
receive and it cannot give. Let me interject there. So, Donna,
thank you for this. I mean, seriously, everything, nothing’s planned. It happens like
it needs to. And so many people think that “Aini,” meaning giving, is about giving
externally. But what we really never look at is Don Javier has always said to me
and those who work with us, “Ini starts with you. It starts at home with you,
and you must give to you because you can’t give what you don’t have.” Yeah.
And there are so many people wanting to create more in life. Let me go set the
world on fire and help the world, but they don’t have it in themselves and their
business business never takes off. The first one was learning to manage your
emotions. It’s a
comprehensive topic in TCP because every week, we dig into something relevant to the
personality, a topic, so to speak. Emotions. Second, designing and giving to yourself
first. Now, if you don’t say this third, I’m going to say it, so I’ll say it for
you anyway. You already self -love, right, self -love? – Yep. – What does that mean to
you? – So what self -love means to me is acceptance.
– You got that from me. Wait, I was kidding. Which I always say, is it? – You talk
about this. You absolutely talk about this, but it’s – – I learned it with my own
life. We hear this jargon. You gotta love yourself, but how? – How?
What does that mean? It’s like, No one explains this, right? – And I learned one
day when I wasn’t accepting myself many years ago, I would beat up myself. That’s
not self love. And when I could accept myself for who and what I am,
whatever that might be, it’s okay if someone else hates on me. It’s okay if mom
and dad don’t approve. It’s okay because guess what? I accept me and I approve of
me. So self -love is acceptance. And I think for you that acceptance was,
I don’t have to make everybody happy. Well, I’m not gonna say, you tell me. What
is this, if you will, what’s that self -acceptance for you?
In a nutshell, it’s world F -off. I think that’s great.
But let’s open – Let’s show for a second. What does that mean in your definition? I
mean, I know what F off me. – In my definition, it means that I am my safe haven.
– Okay. – That I go to myself for my own answers.
I go to myself for my own peace. I go to myself for my own poise, my own path.
It’s here with me accepting that instead of saying,
“Eh, I don’t know, Teal, if you got that right, I don’t know, I better go check
with these other people to see first.” – Yeah. – Trust. Faith in me.
– And you’ve heard me say before that powerful people stand as a source of their
own power. You know, so many times we want the economy to stand. You know, it’s so
funny, it’s not funny. Amazing or interesting, how many people want the economy to
be their security, or Biden, or Trump, or Meta Ron, or whoever,
you know, and they want these external things to be their security. The only number
one, there is no such thing as security because you can be hit by a bus tomorrow,
but the power comes from the power that you wield, not the power you get from
outside of you. Okay. The fourth one, did I take yours or was there one more?
Oh, I mean, I could talk all day on it and give another one. I mean, the other
one is then also, I would– how to pick and choose here. Jim, gosh, you’re putting
me on the hot seat here to choose.
But, uh, integrity?
Wait, wait, wait, no, so people understand. They think integrity is honesty. But
that’s not integrity in the way we talk about it. What is integrity in a way that
we learn and talk about it inside TCP. – Well, the way that you helped me with
integrity is this concept that integrity is integrity of the self. Integrity with
yourself. Where are we breaking our word to our self? Where are we not in
reciprocity of life, which is integrity with our self? Where are we not in self
-love with our self, which is integrity with our self? We’ve abandoned ourselves if
we break our word to ourselves. We abandon ourselves and we’re not in our integrity
with ourselves if we don’t listen to ourselves, if we don’t honor ourselves.
So to me, the integrity just tied with those things for me so powerfully to just
see then it was like, if we’re not integrity with ourselves, we’ve just kind of
then cast ourselves off. Okay. Now I want to talk about some more, but we’re out
of time here, but hang on. I want to talk about some more on the secret podcast
for people that are a member of the B2Have community. But two questions.
Number one, did I pay you for being here or tell you what to say? No.
No. You just tried. You just tried. I didn’t try. I didn’t pay you. I didn’t pay
you. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. And secondly, I hear so many people saying,
“Oh, I don’t need you. I’ve got the podcast. I don’t need any more than the pop.”
What’s your answer to that, Teal? Could you have done just the podcast? Yeah.
Podcast is extremely powerful, Jim. You give such generous information and a total
gift to all who listen. I listened to it for what?
It started coming out in what, 2019? And I think I was listening, 2018. Yeah, I
was listening to it. I remember in the car still driving around, going to like
trade shows and stuff. So early days, I listened to the podcast still for like,
what, two years, a year and a half before then I joined the program. Did I
transform my life yet without the intense, deep, personal,
insightful, intuitive coaching that I got in TCP. No, I was still listening to
podcasts and making small changes and seeing improvement, but I was still stuck in
my own crap. You were in the rut. I was in my rut, right? And you can’t see what
you don’t see. You can’t see what you’re not aware of. So TCP was like, “Hello,
let’s pull open the curtains, open kimono time,” right?
And go deeper, and go far deeper than the podcast. And that’s why I think in the
community, so many people grow so much because it’s safe and people are opening
their kimonos, and then we all recognize, “Wait, I’m not the only one in the world
dealing with this. I’m not the only one that has these fears or this shame or this
guilt or, or whatever. I mean, this is, I see it out on the world and now I see
people healing. And this is how they heal. And this is how I can heal. Yeah. Okay.
Before we go to the secret podcast, uh, where can people find, we’re going to do
two things, where can they find more about you and what you do? And secondly, um,
a final thought. So first, where can they find more about you and who do you work
with? Who’s your ideal client? Where people can find me. I am on social media,
Instagram, Facebook, threads, @tealshoopcoaching. That’s my handle. O -T -E -A -L -S -H -O
-O -P -C -O -A -C -H -I -N -G. Like it sounds, but we want to go up in the show notes
also. Okay. Tealshoopcoaching. What do you work with? I work with soulful women who
are tired of being on the emotional roller coaster and are ready to just hear their
soul clearly step into that soul aligned life and get off the crazy roller coaster.
Now what I recommend they do is come to me first so I can really shuck away and
then work with you long term over the years because I don’t do One -to -one
coaching, you do. But come here first, let me really break everything down and dig
in a TCP. But then, you know, we’ve got many people that actually will coach with
the coaches in TCP because they do one -to -one coaching and they keep people on
track and they take the principles we teach in TCP and all people dig even deeper.
So I would love, we’re gonna talk a few minutes more on the secret podcast in a
What’s your final parting thought? Final parting thought is just where I live from
every day, live from every day. Choose love, choose love,
choose, which is to choose acceptance of yourself, your circumstances.
Just give yourself that grace and peace. I think that Operative word is grace. Give
yourself the grace. And get your butt enrolled in the next TCP, which we open in
March. – I’m so frickin’ lutely. – I love you. I did not know some of these things.
I’ve always enjoyed you. Thank you so much for sharing your story with people
listening. I mean, what a powerful story. So thank you again, TL. I appreciate you
being with us today. – Well, thank you, Jim. I love you too. Blessings to you. Love
back to you. Thank you.