Jim Fortin (00:00.266)
You’re listening to the Transform Your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This is another addition to the Transformational interview series. Today, I’m actually visiting with Gail, a former TCPA, and we’re going to talk about how she’s literally changed her life in the last couple of years and something I really want to touch on in my time with her. And this applies to a lot of people, though we don’t know it. Gail found herself in victim mentality. We’re going to talk about what that is and how to get out of that. Keep listening.
 
Hi, I’m Jim Fortin and you’re about to start transforming your life from the inside out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation and I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you’re going to find no rah rah motivation and no hype because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you’ve never thought possible.
 
If you’re wanting a lot more in life to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I’m glad you’re here. So Gail, thank you for being here today and it’s nice to see you.
 
Thank you, Jim.
 
When I heard your story and of course, when you were in TCP, we probably had about 500 people or thereabouts in TCP at that time. There’s a lot of you guys and I get to know you because of my interaction with you. But when I asked for personal stories, you give me testimonials or want to talk about podcast guests, you share your stories. And I think a lot of people listening will be able to relate to your stories because you said you had some significant issues with money.
 
Jim Fortin (01:56.492)
and 80 % of people have challenges with money. And you also said, which we’ll dig into, that you were in big time victim mentality. So let’s just dig right in. And by the way, tell people what you do.
 
I am a commercial insurance agent and an entrepreneur.
 
commercial insurance and entrepreneur. You live in Chicago, the windy city. So you would mention before we started about what led up to TCP. What was that word that you used?
 
my tragedy or PTSD or the catalyst that led me.
 
There’s no words. Okay. So what was the catalyst for you enrolling? Because I think a lot of people that are listening, many times they’ll listen, but they won’t do a whole lot. They’ll listen, but they don’t have that catalyst. And when you share your catalyst, they may say, oh, okay, that’s my catalyst also. And a couple of questions before we start. Number one, were you paid for being here? Have I told you what to say? Okay. So the catalyst, let’s dive right in.
 
Gail Freis (02:54.669)
No!
 
Gail Freis (02:58.83)
No.
 
Jim Fortin (03:03.246)
What was the catalyst for bringing you into my universe?
 
went through a significant situation, tragedy, whatever you want to call it. And it led to the breakdown of every single part of my life. was relationships and the money issues were very, very glaringly obvious. There were multiple different situations that happened with each thing that went down. It was like dominoes, I guess you would call it. It was constant one thing after another and it
 
If the tragedy wasn’t big enough, was like all my life had been leading up to this one moment that created an explosion and my life just completely shifted. was the worst thing that ever happened to me and the best.
 
That’s what I say is everything that happens, you might not like it, but it’s for your highest learning and greatest evolution. If you don’t want to share personally, that’s fine. Totally fine. Do you want to share with people what actually was the catalyst? Like what were the circumstances?
 
had a wedding and during my wedding about four minutes in my fiance’s sister was trying to do a like doing a poem and she was super emotional and she got kind of reclaimed and great.
 
Jim Fortin (04:23.584)
So this is after the ceremony at the reception?
 
This is about four minutes into my wedding ceremony.
 
In other words, you’re sitting here looking at your fiance, everybody’s there, and you’re four minutes in, and here’s where you’re supposed to get to your I do’s, but apparently that didn’t happen yet. So go ahead, this is good.
 
It was a beautiful fall day overlooking Lake Champlain and the Adirondack Mountains in Vermont. And she was doing her poem or trying to do her poem. She got for Clempt and reached over and grabbed her brother’s arm and made a joke about how she was, of course she was going to get emotional. We all laughed. And then she collapsed and passed away.
 
my gosh. When I said juicy, I thought it’s going to be drama. I didn’t recognize it was going to be something like this. I have never heard anything like this. So you started your marriage with your soon to be sister-in-law transitioning during the ceremony.
 
Gail Freis (05:21.228)
Yeah, the ceremony ended, so we’ve never gotten married and we separated for a while.
 
Wow. for me, this is rare to be speechless, but I don’t even know what to say because I’ve just never heard this before. So in other words, you were obviously all excited and intent on getting married. Then this happened. And then you and your fiance, of course, did not go through with ceremony. Makes sense. And you guys, you split up after that?
 
Yeah, he went down a dark path. He was very angry and hurt. And I mean, I can’t imagine watching my sibling die. So all kinds of compassion for him. He’s a wonderful person. I went down the other path of growth. I was forced out of my comfort zone. I was forced out of everything I knew because he was so bad that it was literally, I’ve been in survival mode my whole life, mostly because of the money.
 
and all the money stories that I’m sure we’ll get to, but this put me into such severe survival mode that it was hard for me to get through every single day. And, you know, I had to go to work and, you know, I trying to grow my career. was fairly new to insurance at the time. So I was still a little bit lost in sales and networking and, you know, it was a lot to take on, but I tried to do my best for him. And as you know, you can’t do anything for anyone else. They have to do it themselves.
 
So he’s in process of fixing and growing, but I went very, very deep, very, very fast, and you were the magic wand for me.
 
Jim Fortin (07:00.664)
So I was just a guide. was it. So let me ask you, were you already listening to the podcast or did you see an ad or what happened?
 
actually a friend of mine told me about you because I had followed Katherine and liked her stuff. And it was kind of towards the beginning of figuring out that I needed to be on a growth journey. And she said, you know who Katherine’s coach was this guy Jim. And so we started listening to your podcast and then the inevitable happened.
 
Got it. Okay. Now you had said, because I can relate to that. And I think a lot of people can about the money. I mean, I grew up just being indoctrinated with, we don’t have that. Only rich people have that. My father used to criticize me when I talk about wanting to create more in life, wanting to be do and have more in life. And I remember when the college and I felt inferior to a lot of kids at college because
 
It was a private school. My roommate, his father was chairman of the board of Greyhound bus lines back then. And that’s when, you know, people took a lot of buses back then. And my second roommate is dad bought him brand new Mercedes. And I’m driving this old beat up car, you know, that barely got me into college. I remember thinking what happened? What did they learn that I didn’t learn? And then I spent about 10 years struggling with money. I didn’t really struggle, but I was a money just enough or just enough in.
 
just enough out. And I really didn’t start hitting my stride until my early 30s. Then I share that so people, they can relate to that. But your story, what was your history with money?
 
Gail Freis (08:36.727)
There was never any. We grew up poor, lower middle class poor. It felt poor to me.
 
Like I did, right? Yeah.
 
But we were farmers, we were good Catholics, we had what we needed. But as kids, you see your friends getting things that you didn’t get and you feel resentful and you feel like, why can’t I have that? And the stories we were told was that those aren’t things that we can afford or those aren’t things that people like us can have. You’re never gonna be that kind of person. That’s for rich people. All the money stories that are stereotypical are the ones that we were taught.
 
Same stories, absolutely. I remember when I was in high school when Ralph Lauren Brand launched and there wasn’t a lot of money where I lived anyway in that community. But the kid that was my nemesis in high school, back when I thought that kind of way, we competed for everything and we were always trying to compete and win over each other. His parents were better off than mine and his parents were farmers too, but he got a polo shirt.
 
And I’m like, why can’t I have that? I want a polo shirt, you know, and I don’t know what they were 30 bucks back then or whatever it was, but I grew up the same way. So in other words, did you go to college?
 
Gail Freis (09:55.7)
No, I thought I was stupid.
 
Okay. So in other words, this background taught you and indoctrinated you to struggle with money. So what literally the catalyst for you coming to work with me and TCP was you were probably struggling with money when you enrolled, I’m guessing. Let’s segue there for a moment. Let’s not talk about the investment in TCP, but there are many people I’ve seen this that said, I can’t afford it.
 
They made it happen, they became resourceful, and they made their money back before the program was over. I’m not saying that’s you. But I’ve seen people do that. But the majority of people say they work from circumstance. These are my circumstances, I just can’t do it. Where were you in your mind that literally prompted you, motivated you, even though you didn’t have the money, what motivated you to enroll?
 
It was the last resort. didn’t know what else to do. It kept calling me. I was listening to your podcast. I kept calling and it kept calling me and I kept thinking, well, I’ll do this free thing over here. And you know, all the freebies that are out there, some of them are good, some of them are not, but it just wasn’t quite hitting me the way that it should. the impact that you had in TCP was, I don’t even know if there was a word for how much it changed my life and how much gratitude I have for.
 
the program you put together and for the time that you put in because the person that I was when I went in is completely different. Like everybody that knows me says, we don’t recognize you. We’re so proud of you. Like this is magical. Like now my friends tell me how inspirational I am because of how vastly different I am. My money stories were huge. Like I couldn’t afford to do anything. I couldn’t even afford my bills. My fiance had to pay for most of my stuff, but
 
Gail Freis (11:47.338)
As I was getting enrolled, you could tell the progression was there because I had started to look for a new job. And the job that I got right before I enrolled in TCP doubled my income. And I swear to God, it was because I pulled the trigger on TCP, it was almost instantaneous that the universe was like, OK, you’re serious. Here you go.
 
That’s an interesting point that you make because a lot of people don’t think that way. You know, I’ve learned from Don Javier that we live in a universe of no mercy, meaning what you put out is what the universe gives you back. There’s no mercy. Like, well, you put out some bad crap, some bad energy, some bad thinking, so to speak, when I say bad, and the universe doesn’t say, but you know what, we’re going to give you a get out of jail free card today. So it doesn’t matter what you did yesterday. What you do today and what you put out is what you get back.
 
You said it in a way that I’ve heard very few people say it, but you might’ve seen, and I’ve seen thousands of people do this in TCP, exactly what you did. And they said pretty much the same thing, that they were shocked at how their clients had dried up. And I’m not saying for anyone that will enroll later, this will happen. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but they will say, once I took that step to better myself, things started opening up right away. So let’s do this. People listening,
 
Let’s share some more with them. What were things that were sticking with you as we were going through TCP? Can you take us through some of your transformations, epiphanies, favorite quotes, favorite experiences, any of that?
 
The values that you taught were revelationary, revolutionary, what’s the word?
 
Jim Fortin (13:27.574)
Either one, they’re revelation, but they’re also revolutionary, okay?
 
Yes, both. was something that I just thought I had a grasp on what my values were, but like you explained, once I did it, they changed and they’ve changed.
 
You your moral values, but you didn’t know your subconscious values, right? And generally we live our subconscious values. Mine are grew up on a farm, do not lie, do not cheat, do not steal. My parents would beat the shit out of me if I did those things. And my dad was pretty brutal about stuff like that. But I didn’t recognize there are other values that contribute to my success. So you were the same way and many people listening, I don’t need to do any work on values. I know what’s important to me.
 
but they don’t know what’s driving them. What came out of that for you, if you can recall, and the value is weak.
 
I that wealth was my top value and it was nowhere near the top. My top value was, I believe if I remember correctly, it wasn’t anything that I was intentionally putting there. It was scarcity, lack, keeping myself safe, all of those things that I thought I was using in a different way than I actually was, which of course when you go through your program, you learn all of the tricks your mind plays on you.
 
Jim Fortin (14:45.314)
You know, Don Javier over the years, he’s been as a mentor to me and a guide to me and those that work with him. He’s often said, Hey guys, I point out very kindly and very lovingly, you’re doing A, B, C, and D. And you say, no, I’m not doing A, B, C, D, and E. I’m not doing that. And then he goes, when I show you, you’re doing it, you’re like, I am doing that. And then what many people do is when he turns the corner, so to speak,
 
They go right back to the old values again, doing that stuff over and over and over again. All right. So the values is a big one, which is why we start TCP with values. When this is vital, you know, I was coaching James Wedmore one time, big online entrepreneur. He had conflicting subconscious values when I was coaching him. One value, and I love James. He’s a friend. He’s a family member, so to speak. James, his highest values, number one, were commitment, but his other higher co-value was freedom.
 
and he was committed to his business, but he wasn’t building it. Why? Because if he built it, that was going to take his freedom away. So he had two subconscious values in conflict. So you started understanding your values. What else popped out? I mean, there was a lot. We spent 13 weeks together. What else came for you?
 
Victim mentality. I didn’t even know I was doing it.
 
Okay, so instead of me explaining, will you explain to people listening what you understand now as being victim mentality?
 
Gail Freis (16:11.566)
Sure. I remember someone would be like, you’re being a victim, you’re being a victim. And I’m like, someone did something to me. Like, how am I the problem? But that really wasn’t the problem. The problem was the way that I was reacting to it and the way that I was sitting in the shame and fear and sadness and whatever was coming out of the problem that happened. And it was like, woe is me and poor me and like what they did to me and like all of these things, which yeah, it sucked that those things happened, but.
 
I was also responsible for putting myself in those situations and all of the revelatory things that you taught us were like magic. And I felt honestly a little bit ashamed and embarrassed for a while because I was like, man, I didn’t know I was doing that. I also have to tell you, Jim, the first few weeks were so triggering. I was like, what the hell is going on here?
 
I that intentionally.
 
I know you did say that. But it was, I wouldn’t have changed it. was, I’m telling you, amazing.
 
Remember I said before, there’s a method to my madness. Don’t question the process, just do it. And you’re going to cuss at me and you’re going to yell at me and you’re going to be cussing behind my back at me. I get it. It’s part of the offloading process, offloading your old crap. So it’s very, very normal. In the very first TCP, Nicole said, her name was Nicole Pearson, she said, if you’re not crying or screaming or yelling at Jim, you’re not getting your money’s worth.
 
Jim Fortin (17:39.416)
Because it’s my job to help you bring that stuff out of you so you can see it. Okay. So what I tell people is as victim mentality is blaming, meaning, like you said, Gail, it’s not about me. I didn’t, you did this, you did this to me. You did that to me. That is victim mentality. Or in addition, everybody that did all this stuff to me and I can’t change. It’s not my fault. am where I am. Can you relate to that?
 
That is exactly how I was. And I remember my fiance used to yell at me all the time, stop being a victim. And I was like, what are you talking about? And I get so mad. But then after I went to your courses, I was like, whoops.
 
Yeah, but also what you were doing, I don’t know if your fiance noticed, I noticed that just a bit ago. Not only were you being in victim mentality, but the double whammy at that time, not anymore, you were being in self pity. Oh, poor me. are you calling it? Wait, they did this to me. I’m the one that got hurt. Poor me. And then you’re telling, you’re calling me a victim. Really? I’m not the victim. I’m the one who got hurt. But now you take personal responsibility and recognize.
 
You contributed to being in that process. You contributed to being there, and that’s 100 % responsibility. What else came to you on our time together?
 
Man, I removed my money mindset or I changed my money mindset and removed the lack and scarcity. took me probably after TCP, probably another six months to fully eradicate it. And it’s something that I still have to work on. However, I integrated, kept listening to your podcast. I would go back into different sections and obviously other mentors and just constant work on myself.
 
Gail Freis (19:29.006)
to remove that lack and scarcity because like you said, it was money in, money out, just enough. And I would just say I didn’t have it. There was nothing I could do. And then there was a lot of the victim mentality around money. And when I removed the victim mentality, I started taking responsibility for how I was showing up at work and what I was doing at work. And not that I wasn’t a good employee, I just wasn’t doing the right things. I mean, you used to teach sales and marketing to people like, you know, some of the processes that
 
people are doing seem like they’re working, but they’re really fighting against you. And I was doing a lot of those because I didn’t know any better.
 
When I think about money, what started changing for you? How did you start being different with money? I don’t like this word, but I’m going to use it for vernacular. People understand the word mindset. How did your money mindset change? Can you think of anything in particular about something you shifted, a foundation, and things started shifting from that money foundation?
 
had another terrible situation happen. Not as bad as the wedding. I was doing a side job because, know, as someone without any money, you have to work different jobs and side hustles and all this. So I had a side job and I was killing it. And I made about $40,000 in commission and the guy decided to not pay me. So I had a very scary dark night of the soul is what I’m going to call it. It was big shedding of the old money mindset and it happened.
 
over a couple of months, like the whole process, but it was only a couple of days when this really bad time happened. And I decided that I pulled myself out of that. And I decided, thanks to a lot of stuff that you taught us, that I was never ever, ever going to sit in that position ever again. I was never going to allow someone to take advantage of me that way. I was never going to allow money to just escape me that way. Cause then we’re going to put myself in positions where I would be around someone like that. I was going to have more discernment, whatever it took.
 
Gail Freis (21:29.364)
never ever again would I allow that and I haven’t.
 
Notice what you said there is that I would never be around people like that if I had to guess. And again, I’ve done this 33 years. Okay, there are a couple of things that came out of your experience. Number one, I’m not sure you noticed, you proved to yourself that you could make $40,000. That’s a victory. But what you did is you proved it with the wrong people who took advantage of you and stole from you. And you probably got in the business with those people.
 
because maybe some desperation was like working in the background that said, don’t notice it. Don’t say anything. Don’t rock the boat. It’ll be okay. You delivered and they didn’t deliver. So the lesson there could have been, okay, now I know I can make the money, but you know what? I’ve got to work with the ethical people who will honor their end of the bargain as well and not take advantage of me. Is that a fair statement?
 
Very fair. I was in such scarcity at that time because I was in that situation with my fiance where he was in such a dark place that I didn’t know if I was going to have a place to live at any given moment. So I was desperate to make money and I was still living in those old mindsets and it was just an ugly period. But having worked through it,
 
In that moment, I decided that it didn’t matter if I was going to get thrown out of my house. I had great friends. I had a great support system. I could find somewhere to live. I would figure it out. I’m a very resourceful and very resilient person. So I just decided and changed.
 
Jim Fortin (23:06.094)
You know, it’s interesting about that comment. I think it’s a very profound one. I have to record next week’s podcast, because we do two episodes per week right now. And I’ve got to record that after our time together today. The topic is resourcefulness. And really, I mean, I’m not hiding anything. It’s because so many people want to be in TCP, but they won’t be resourceful enough to enroll. And they will work by circumstance, exactly what you just talked about.
 
I can’t have it, so I’m not going to do it. Bullshit. Figure it out. But there’s something that dawned on me. Resourcefulness has always been second nature to me. I’ve always had to figure things out. And I’m wondering with your background in mind, I grew up on a farm. We didn’t have money. When I went to college, my dad said to me, well, I can’t afford school. So you’re going to go to college. You got to go into the army or you got to do something. You have to figure it out.
 
While I figured it out, I went to college and graduated two degrees in four years. My point is, it’s never been an alien concept to me. And I wonder if it’s because how we, and I both grew up where we had to figure things out. We didn’t have money. We had to figure it out. And the scenario you tell me about your fiance, you might not know where you’re going to live and you have to figure it out. Have you recognized over the years that everything can be figured out?
 
Yeah. And I figured out that I was incredibly resourceful. And I knew that subconsciously because whenever I needed money, I figured it out or whenever there was a problem, I figured it out. But when I’m not consciously or when I’m consciously thinking about something, I had such a low opinion of myself that I just thought, well, I’m a piece of crap. can’t. That’s not something for someone like me. You know, those old indoctrinations that our farm life gave us.
 
Yeah. And our parents, obviously their parents might not have even gone to even high school or maybe even middle school because my grandfather was a farmer, didn’t go to school. I think he quit in seventh grade. He passes all of his limitations onto my mother and my dad did the same thing. They passed them all on to me. And then I’m in a different generation in the eighties off to go to college, you know, and I’m learning all these limitations from my indoctrination as a child. So we know you’ve been through some dark things.
 
Jim Fortin (25:29.9)
We know that you’ve basically reinvented yourself, which is my attempt with TCP is to help people reinvent. So we know where you came from, where are you today now and where are you going?
 
I have doubled my income every year since 2022.
 
when you were in TCP.
 
when I was in TCP. It would not have happened without you. It would not have happened without your content. It would not have happened without my hard work. But it is because I was in TCP that I am very successful in my career as an insurance agent. It has helped me decide to help other women with my business upskill developmental. I love everything that I do. It is…
 
very important to me to pay it forward because of how impactful TCP was. I was always a very giving person, but you the wrong kind.
 
Jim Fortin (26:27.074)
Yeah, for people taking, taking, taking, you can love nothing. It’s like you got a bowl of candy. They take it all. You’re like, I don’t even, I wanted the piece of chocolate and I showed it to you and you guys took all of it.
 
Exactly, but because of the things that you taught in TCP and you know, a lot of it was our upbringing too. It was kind of already in us to be giving and supportive of other people, but I wasn’t doing it right. I was being taken from and being taken advantage of and I was allowing it, but I didn’t know any better. But after your program, I learned boundaries. I learned value.
 
Hang on right there, boundaries. See, I was the same way in that I was just, my mother taught me to be very giving. So I would just give and give and give. And at the end of the day, I wouldn’t have anything because I always gave, but I didn’t put boundaries up. Now you can get this shit yourself. I’m not doing it. You know, I mean, I’ve got boundaries, but I learned years ago that if I don’t set my boundaries and they’re not clear, other people will literally encroach and take.
 
whatever I’m going to give because they might be a person with no boundaries. So you learned about boundaries and that’s a big one, especially in our interpersonal relationships, obviously, because so many people are not of the open heart and the open mind and the kindness like a lot of us are. And there are many people, they’ll just try to get what they can get. So you learned about boundaries and what else?
 
When I started implementing boundaries, was like people self-selected out of my life. It was so easy. And when I put boundaries in place, people just adhere to them because of the energy that I was behind it. There was just no nonsense. Like, I’m not dealing with that. And people were like, okay, I don’t want to be around that anymore. And I was like, good riddance.
 
Jim Fortin (28:13.72)
I said in TCP, remember I’ve said before, as a result of going through TCP when we’re done, you’re going to gain some friends and you might even have friends that you met in TCP and people have even gotten married. And I’ve said, many of you are going to lose friends. Why? Because when you start becoming different and you set the boundaries, you’re right. People are going to self-select. What the hell is she doing setting boundaries? I used to walk all over her. Now she sets boundaries. I ain’t going back there anymore. So you basically literally
 
energetically cleaned up your life and brought the right people in by setting boundaries. Is that a fair statement?
 
Write people, write experiences, all the things.
 
Wow, that is amazing. What if somebody said to you, and especially with where you’ve come from, they hear your story and I didn’t pay you to be here. I didn’t beg you to, I didn’t tell you what this none of that, because I wanted to be very organic. Again, somebody wants to accuse me after they went through TCP of paying people for all the testimonial videos that people shoot. I’ve never paid anyone and I’ve never told people what to say. Many people have your same kind of story, but
 
coming from where you’ve come from, hopefully that’ll hold some weight for people because I’m on a mission to help more people like you make life better for themself and other people because we live in a crazy world and we need to be stronger. What if you’re sitting across from somebody, Gayle, and they said, Gayle, I’ve seen amazing changes in you and you talk about TCP, but I can’t afford it. What do you say?
 
Gail Freis (29:47.662)
There’s so many things I would say, I would tell them to find their resourcefulness because there’s always a solution. There’s always a solution. And I would tell them about all of the wonderful things I learned. And one of the things I learned was self-worth and having self-worth helped with boundaries and helped with my values and helped with my money mindset. Like I can’t talk about it enough. I would just sit there and probably talk to them until they were like, fine, I’ll just.
 
Here, I’ll enroll, just leave me alone, okay, already. I get that completely. Another question here that I want to talk a little more about you. I already know the answer and you know the answer, but I just want to solidify it. Where do you think you’d be today if you had never enrolled in TCP and had my and the coaches mentorship and the community, which is huge. As you know, the community is the backbone of what we do. Where do you think you’d be today if you were never in all of this?
 
think I would be on a growth journey just based on what I went through, but I would be on a very slow growth journey. I would probably still be not making very much money because I can pretty much guarantee you I would have screwed up the job that I had gotten right when I got into TCP because of self-worth, sabotage, self-sabotage, all those things, the money stories. I would have somehow messed it up unintentionally.
 
and I would have had to go back to all commission jobs or a different job or something and I wouldn’t have gotten myself worth up because I would have made all those mistakes and then beat myself up and all of the things that I was doing before. I wouldn’t be driving a Porsche, that’s for fricking sure.
 
You’re driving a Porsche now too? Wow. That is to me, by the way, I’ll never drive anything but a Porsche. Once you drive a Porsche many years ago, the commercial, isn’t those, there isn’t a substitute. Once you own and drive a Porsche, I’ll never own anything else. That is my brand. That is my car. And I, excuse me, fucking proud of you that you’ve come from where you’ve come from. And now you’re driving a Porsche. Question. I don’t mean to be too personal. Are you seeing anyone?
 
Gail Freis (31:58.35)
My ex-fiance.
 
Are you approaching it differently now than you did before you went into relationship the first time?
 
Yes, he’s in a trauma therapy. I have a therapist. I’m doing my growth journey. I believe we are. It’s fairly new. It’s been two years since we broke up and neither one of us dated anyone. And, you know, there was just a connection there between the two of us. So I don’t know if it’s a karma connection or not, or figuring it out.
 
think it’s a great place to be is it’s so many people put frames on things that has to be this that or the other. And I work from maybe we’ll never know what it is, but let’s just be in the experience of it. And as long as it’s healthy and we’re enjoying and we compliment each other, then it’s fine. Whatever it is and whatever you want to call it, which that sounds like that’s where you are. And I think the healthier he becomes and the more you guys, you know, the more you guys will connect the healthier he becomes.
 
And I think it might go to places that would surprise you in a very good way. At least I’m hoping that you get those positive outcomes that you want. Tell us a little bit about what you’re doing now. You’re starting to build your own business. What is that business? And for people listening, who can you help?
 
Gail Freis (33:17.654)
We support young women trying to get into the workforce, growing their soft skills. We have a bunch of women that through collective intelligence teach other women professional soft skills, some hard skills, because my experience when I first started in insurance was that no one was there. You didn’t know what you didn’t know. So I was just, I went probably three years without really making very much money. Also because of my, my money stories, but
 
Also because I didn’t know how to network. didn’t know anything about sales. I was new to an industry, so I had to learn that industry. And there really wasn’t a lot of support for us. So in talking to other people, I realized that the same is true for realtors and mortgage brokers and bankers and just really anyone that’s in sales and that’s new to the workforce. It’s really difficult to find support in the way that really makes sense because I can take a sales class, but if I don’t have that mindset behind it, there’s really
 
just some verbiage that I may or may not take with me. And so we make it very specific that when people come to our courses and come to our workshops that there is action steps for them to implement when they leave. There’s lead magnets so they can work with whatever the contributor does if it’s something that they wanna work with them again. And then there’s also a very important mindset shift that has to take place with whatever it is that they’re teaching. So we really wanna support anyone that’s new to the workforce.
 
Let’s clarify. So does that mean one-to-one coaching, group coaching, group community? What am I enrolling in if I come to you?
 
We have evergreen courses on different topics that each contributor is an expert at or things like, you know, kind of like me, things that I’ve gone through that I learned the hard way that I want to support someone in learning quicker so they can avoid having that embarrassment and frustration of not making money in the early parts of their career, all the way up to we have different workshops that are live and we have one-to-one and group coaching. There’s a couple of coaches in our group. So.
 
Gail Freis (35:18.936)
Just lots of free downloads for people to take. I do some visualizations for people because they supported me when I needed it. So there’s just whatever each contributor thinks will really benefit their student, that’s what they teach.
 
You sound like me. One of my coaches 20 years ago, she had a PhD in psychology, but she was a coach and she said, Jim, do you know why you do what you do? And I’m like, I like doing it. And she said, you do it because you grew up struggling and you don’t want other people to struggle as hard as what you had to struggle. That’s why you do what you do, which today is why you might’ve seen on TCP on a weekly call. I would have a t-shirt that had a Turkey on it maybe once or twice.
 
A TCP or gave that to me because that’s my animal totem. Turkey. Turkey is giving, which means if I can give and help people stop struggling, now I’m living my highest values. So where can people find you?
 
We are on Instagram at upskilledove.dev.
 
Okay, so UPSKILLDEV, UpskillDev, at Instagram. Okay, where else?
 
Gail Freis (36:25.932)
skilldevelopmental.com is our website where you can find all of our courses and our free membership with all the downloads and apply for any one-on-one coaching, workshops, all that.
 
So we’ll drop all the links into the show notes. Any final comments, I would have no idea what you’re gonna say, but any final comments that you wanna leave with people listening today, I’m gonna be a little gratuitous about enrolling in TCP.
 
Well, I don’t know why you wouldn’t. It literally took me from, Jim, I’m not kidding. Sometimes I made like 60 or a hundred bucks a month and I had bills, five times that that I had to pay. And I went to having extra money. Like it’s a magical thing. And I don’t know, I’m so overwhelmed with.
 
having to try to get someone to understand how impactful it is and just how important it is. I don’t know if I’m gonna say the right thing, but there is no wrong answer. Figure it the hell out. Put it on a credit card, you’ll pay off by the time it’s done, I promise. It’s just…
 
Providing you do the work. I’m not doing the work for you. I’ve done that. I put it on a credit card things before when I couldn’t afford it and I figured that shit out. Most people don’t want to do that because they won’t figure it out. And I’m like, okay, if I put it on the credit card and I’ve got to be responsible, I have to figure that shit out. But if I grow and I develop my skills, I will definitely gain more tools and I will figure it out. Gail, what a heartfelt story. Thank you. I’m so F’ing proud of you. Seriously, I did not know the depth of your story.
 
Jim Fortin (38:03.256)
Thank you for sharing that with people. I am very, very grateful for you.
 
Thank you so much for having me, Jen. This was amazing.
 
I’m the one grateful. Thank you again, Gal. I appreciate you being here.