EPISODE 90: “Q & A – What do I do when things just never seem to go right in life?”
I picked this Q & A question because I think so many people can relate to it.
Also, I kept it simple in this episode as I gave you the counter thinking that I work from when it comes to things going “right or wrong” in my life.
In this episode I talk about:
I really had one objective with this episode. The objective is to take you from understanding to knowing this week’s transformational takeaway.
Things always have been, are now and will always be fine in life.
You're listening to episode number 90 of the Transform Your Life from the Inside Out Podcast. This is a Monday Q&A episode and this week I answer Shelley's question, and Shelley's question is, "what do I do when things just never seem to go right in life?" If you can relate to that, keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start transforming your life from the inside out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation and I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation and no hype because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Change Your Context Frame To Change Your Life
So Shelly asked, "what do I do when things just never seem to go right in life? You know, it just dawned on me. These are not written out. These aren't scripted or any of this. But when I picked this question, what just dawned on me was something that happened yesterday and earlier today is and I haven't talked to- well, let me put it this way. My nephew, he's 17. And yesterday, somebody actually broke into his truck. He lives here in Texas. He was at a county fair. Somebody broke into his truck, stole all of his new tools, you know, stole his cell phone and different things. And I messaged him last night I said, "hey, just send me your Venmo whatever. I'll send you money." And then his mother just messaged me a bit ago and said, "Well, he wrecked his truck today." And it didn't even dawn on me till I started this episode that apparently, I'm not laughing, but it's so funny that apparently, you know you've heard the old phrase before "when it rains it pours." Apparently he's had a very challenging last 24 hours. And when I look at it just like, you know, Shelley's asking what do i do and things just never seem to go right? My nephew, his name is Dylan, and if you ask him, he'd probably say the last 24 hours, nothing has gone right. And seriously, it didn't even dawn on me till after even started this recording about what's going on in this life. And I'll call him tonight and find out what's going on and he's a kid, he's only you know, 17. But what I want to share with and what I'm going to share with him later is what I want to share with you in this episode. I also want to say that, you know, it's so interesting to me that how people think they have to make things really long. And what I mean by that is, you know, books. Why is it that everyone has to write a book, it's anywhere between 180 and 260 pages when you can say it in 20 pages? So that being said, this may be a very short episode. And then when I look at shortness, you look at the ancient Lao Tzu Tao te Ching that literally is only like 5000 words, and it's been around for thousands of years. So sometimes I work from and I like and I may even start doing maybe even shorter episodes, just, you know, bite size stuff to make it more consumable for you guys.
So, the question is, is what do I do when things just never seem to go right? And I find that interesting, and I'm going to give you you know, where I work from in life where this is something that I wouldn't say anymore. It wouldn't even enter my consciousness to even say anything like this. But again, I'm sure my nephew might have been saying it and a lot of people say this on a daily basis. But I'm looking at the question here. And my first interpretation is, what do you mean by things just never seem to air quote, "go right?" Go right relative to what? Go right relative to your expectations, how you think the world should be your attachments? I mean, how specifically do you mean go right? And if I had to gpuess as well, what you may be saying, to some degree is why can't I just get a break? Now, I don't know that because there's not enough information in your question. When I saw this question it dawned on me that a lot of people work from what I call a context, which means a frame that just doesn't work for them. And it keeps them trapped for a lifetime. Let me give you an example of what a context frame might be in something that a lot of people can understand.
Let's say for example, that you're trying to lose weight, and you say, "no matter what I do, I just cannot lose weight." Well, that's the context frame, meaning gets an overall frame to the thought process of not being able to lose weight. And then what happens is you've actually bound yourself into that context frame because your belief system is that no matter what you do, you're never going to lose weight. Therefore, no matter what you do, you're never going to lose weight. Something else I'm curious about here, and again, this is going to be I think, a short episode. Let me add there also about short episode is, there's a difference between understanding something and knowing something. And many of us think that we actually know something when we really only understand it. And many times we don't even understand it. And what I'm going to share with you in this episode, when you come to know it, I mean, truly know it, it will literally transform your life.
Let me back up even further here to give you an example. I've never had a broken bone. I'm 55 years old and all that I've ever actually ever needed in my life medically was five stitches when I was a kid. I cut my finger. Beyond that I've not had a prescription since 1992. I've never had a broken bone. But many of you listening, a good percentage have probably had a broken bone. So I can say, well, I understand what a broken bone is analytically. But you know what, I've never had the pain of a broken bone, therefore, I don't know what a broken bone is. And the same thing with what I'm going to share with you in your transformational takeaway today. When you come to know it, and you live it, your life will never be the same.
Now, we're always going here just a couple of minutes ago, is what do I do when things just never seem to go right in life? What I'm also wondering is are you personalizing that? Any of you listening, do you personalize when things air quote happened to you? That's the way that many people live. And my nephew earlier I'm, like I said, I'm going to call him in just a bit when I'm done. I wonder if he's working from well, things like this just happen to me. And when we do that, we put herself in victim mentality. You might have heard me say before is that life doesn't test us. Life reflects us. Now I'm going to help my nephew out because he's a kid and really where he lives and things that are going on, he could really use the help. There's no question about it. There's no reason that I wouldn't help him out. But then I look at it from a bigger picture, what if I didn't help him out? His mother doesn't have a lot of money. What lessons would he learn as a result of what happened to him, so to speak? So what I'm curious about for Shelley here is, are you personalizing whatever things are happening to you? Are you also living and working from victim mentality? And again, victim mentality, as I explained it here, is that you know what, something just happened to me and as a result of something happening or somebody doing something to me, now I have to cope or I have to air quote, "deal" with it.
Okay, something else I want to share with you here is to Shelley, and the rest of you, how do you feel about things not going right for you? How do you feel about it? Now, how many people feel is they feel unhappy, and they're mad, and they're frustrated, and they're irritable, and they feel in a negative way. And what I want to share here when I learned this many years ago, and this is something that I teach my transformational programs. What I learned many years ago is that, generally speaking, for most people, unhappiness is the space between where you are, and your story about where you think you should be in life. And as that applies to Shelly, if she's unhappy about things not going right in her life, if she has certain expectations about how things are supposed to go, and then if they do not go that way, that gap in there between how things are supposed to go and her story and how they're actually going, that gap in there is what I call her "unhappiness gap" or her "anger gap," "frustration gap" or whatever it might be. But generally for people it is unhappiness.
Okay, another approach here that I'm looking at when I read the question, you know, why do things seemingly just not go right for me, or things never go right for me, is many times and especially I work with a lot of entrepreneurs. And what I find is that many times people have the desire and the wish to educate, not educate, but to execute on something, but yet they don't have the skills. You know, for example, you could be an entrepreneur, and if you don't have the skills to sell and to market, then you could say, well, you know, all of my launches and things that I do, they just don't go right. Well, the reason they're not going right is because you've not developed the skills, the marketing skills, or the sales skills to be able to execute properly through the process to get people to sign on the dotted line. Okay, before I give you what I want to share with you in this podcast, something that can change your life, when you come to know it. I also want to point out, mark your calendar for March the 5th at 11am Central Standard Time, I'm going to be delivering again a program, no charge, it's a three part program with a three part Q&A follow up meeting- six sessions, no charge. It's called the Be Do Have series. If you've followed me for any amount of time, or if you're new, you know that I teach people to work from a psychological strategy called "be to have." Who do I have to be, which are ways of identity. Who do I have to be to do the things I need to do to have the things that I want? Most people they work completely backwards. They work from have do be. If I had something, more time or money or energy, then I could do something and if I could do something, then I could be something generally meaning more successful. So for right now, I'm just sharing with you mark your calendar March the fifth 11am Central Standard Time. We will be getting more details to you.
Okay, this week's transformational takeaway, if you've been listening for any amount of time, you know, I mention pretty much on every second episode at least, that my sister's husband, my brother-in-law is a Shaman, a healer. People from all over the world come to him for healing. And he's, you know, he's very inexpensive, but he helps people heal, and he helps people grow spiritually. And I don't mean any kind of dogmatic way. I mean, he helped me- put it this way, he helps people grow and evolve their consciousness, their cosmic-ness. And I'll leave it at that for now. But I remember the date that he and I were talking, this was a lot of years ago, and I lived in Atlanta, Georgia. He called me one afternoon and we were chatting and what he said to me has been a staple and a fundamental place to work from in my entire life. And candidly, it's made my life a lot easier. We were chatting, and he said to me, and I'm going to give give this kind of a two part meeting. But he said to me, "anything and everything that happens to you in your life is a blessing." And it's a blessing so that you can grow and evolve. And many people think that when things happen, and again, you know, Shelley's question here about, you know, what do I do when things never seem to go right? What I'm curious about is what meaning is she placing on those things? Is she actually looking at those things saying, "okay, things are not going right. So that I have the opportunity to learn and grow," or are things not going right, because I'm learning nothing new, nothing different and applying nothing new and nothing different and I keep repeating my old results? So the two part transformational takeaway here, first part is that every single thing that happens to you and this is hard for a lot of people to get their mind around because they could say "my mother passed over," or you know what, "I lost all my money" or "somebody conned me out of money," or, you know, the myriad of things and all of you listening, you know, you have stories and you have, you know, you have things that have happened to you. If you look at that from the perspective though, is that things don't happen to me just to happen to me, you know, life's screwing me over. But if you look at it from the perspective that everything that happens to me is a blessing so that I may grow and evolve, life takes on a new meaning.
But the transformational takeaway for this week is, you know, Shelley's sitting here saying and a lot of people are saying "all these things happen to me." And then what people do many times as they spiral, my husband left me, my wife left me, my husband had an affair. My kids did this, my kids stole money. My mother did this, my boss, all these things that people think air quote "happen" to them. And here's where a place where I have found many years decades of solace and peace is when I work from a phrase that was also said to me by my brother in law, this is the literal way he said it. And it's very simple. But he said to me one time, "things always have been, things are now, and things will always be fine in life." Things always have been, things are now, and things will always be fine. And when you look at your life, iy doesn't matter what it is. And by the way, next episode is going to be a barnburner for a lot of you guys, because that's going to actually tie into this, what I'm talking about right now. But when you look at things that you think are horrible right now, and this happened to me, and that happened to me, there's so many opportunities for you to learn and to grow and evolve from that. But most of us don't do that. We get into our self pity and our anger and we get into our victim-mentality and the world did this to me. And those are just not places that I go. So to be a little repetitive here, is that everything that happens to you. no matter how air quote "bad" you think it is, everything that happens to you happens so that you can grow and evolve as a being. And then secondly, the air quote, you know, formal takeaway this week, is, things always have been, things are now, and things will always be fine.
Okay, now, next episode, I'm really looking forward to it. And all I'm going to do is give you the title. And I'm really looking forward to helping many of you shift, even the perspectives you're working from in life and the way that you work. But the title of the next episode is "Your life has no meaning except," and I'll fill in that blank with, you know what comes after except on the Wednesday podcast. Okay, thanks for listening and do what you can to make it a great day to day. Bye bye.
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