You're listening that Transform your Life from the inside out podcast. In this episode, I'm going to actually expand upon what I talked about in my podcast last week, when I had my first guest ever, which was James Wedmore. And we talked about the ancientIncan concept of AYNI. A Y N I, AYNI is the Reciprocity of Life. In my opinion, this is one of the most important concepts that we can master. Because in my experience, mastering AYNI, which is the reciprocity of life is quite literally, the golden goose that laid the golden egg to get everything that you want in life. Keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life. from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, for feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
All right, AYNI A Y N I. And if you're like most people, this is probably the first time you've heard the word. Obviously, you can Google it, look it up whatever you want. But obviously, this is something that I've learned. And when I say obvious, you know, maybe it's not obvious. But this is a life lesson that has been ingrained into me for many, many years by the shaman that I work with. And I'll talk about him in just a moment, because he's the one who taught me this concept. And he started teaching me this many, many years ago. As a matter of fact, I remember the very first time that I met him physically in person, he started demonstrating this concept.
So AYNI as I said in the introduction, and you might remember from last week, I need his ancient Incanan for the Reciprocity of Life. Pretty simple. What that means is what you put out, but there is a caveat, what you put out is what you get back. Now the caveat is this. And we'll talk a lot about I'll talk a lot more about that in this episode. But a lot of people actually give but they don't give to give, they give to get which we talked about, you know, last week on the Wednesday episode of James. But the the one thing that the magic elixir, the magic, you know, fairy dust or whatever that makes giving work is that we must give, not to give, or to I'm sorry to get we must give with an open heart. Because that makes all the difference in the world.
When we give and we have some expectation that if I give something somebody is going to give me something back. That's not truly a gift. That's not truly giving. You're giving something to get something. But when we give, and we have no attachment, and we have an open heart, what you know, when we give, wow, I challenge you and you know, I challenge you literally is to start working from that place. And you're going to be amazed at what starts to happen in your life. So I mentioned my brother in law. His name is Xavier, I might have said it before I call I call him Don Xavier. Don is a Spanish form of respect. And in 1996 when I started apprenticing with him very, very quickly, he got me started on doing some work with him. And I didn't get started with it. And a couple of weeks later, he's like, Hey, you know, I got you started with this, how come you haven't taken action with it yet. And what I said was, and by this, by the way, at this point, I had already quit my corporate job. I was actually waiting tables at night, I was, you know, doing NLP training and I was learning NLP during the day and worked on NLP place. And I wasn't making a lot of money.
And he says, Well, how come you haven't started the work that I got you set up on? And I remember this conversation so vividly. I said, Well, I haven't started because I can't afford to give you any money right now. And he said when that I asked you for money. And I said well, you didn't ask me for any money. But you know a lot of people that work with you or that you work with them. They gift you money, they tie they you know they give you a love offering. And he says you know what? Because I never asked you for any money. And he said it doesn't matter. That's what I'm on the planet to do is to serve and I will get my compensations from the universe. And I always remember that conversation because I've always seen him live that way.
And I have to admit, obviously me demonstrating, you know how I was showing up. And me telling you that story means I didn't even really grasp the concept. I wasn't living that way. And for many years I lived what I call backwards, I lived that you know what I'm going to go out and do things in the world. And I'm going to sell, and I'm going to do this and coaching and training and all this kind of stuff. And when I do that, I'm going to get paid, and I'm going to make money. I never really, truly started making really, really, really good money until I fully emotionally embrace the concept of AYNI, which means you know, what I'm on the planet to serve. And whatever I'm going to do, I'm going to do I'm going to do with an open heart. And whatever my compensations are from that those are my compensations. But you know what, I'm not going to worry about evening evening, the score or keeping score, or who did water were or wire, I don't worry about any of that.
I know I have a lot of people listening to this podcast that are in business. And let me bring this to business as well. I have, she was at one point, we've since grown apart for different reasons, nothing personal, any of that. But I had a woman that was a very, very, very good friend of mine. She called me her best friend. And the only reason we haven't talked so much recently is she's 80 years old. And she had some significant health issues a few years ago. And basically, she decided that she needed needed to deliver life in a way that was good for where she was, I'm gonna leave it at that it doesn't matter. It just is what it is. We are very, very close friends, I adore this woman. She is a Dallas business icon. As a matter of fact, I was you know, thinking a couple of days ago, this is probably four or five days ago that here in Texas, the Texas billionaire, H. Ross Perot, he passed over. And she was one of his best friends. I mean, she literally is a Dallas business icon. Anybody that's a power player in Dallas business knows who she is. She's a real estate broker, nor the National Association of Realtors has called her are named one of the top 20 thought leaders in National Real Estate.
And actually, I started doing training in her company. And we just became friends very, very good friends very quickly. And I remember one day I'm gonna make I'm going to tell you the whole story here. But I was training in her company. And I said, and well, let me let me back up prior Saturday prior to training at her company. She and I were grabbing some lunch and she said, What are you doing next week? And I said, I'm going you know, I'm training at your company on Tuesday that I'm going to go to a seminar event Tuesday afternoon. And she said, Well, how much is how much does it cost. And I said 5,000. And that was really about it, we just chatted a bit more. And we were done with that conversation.
Tuesday I trained in her company and she would train should always give me like a card and cookies. And you know, muffins should always give me stuff. And she she gave me an envelope and said here just this is for the you know, for the airplane for the ride later, I rushed to the airport, rush to the airport and got on the airplane. And there was this big, you know, an envelope that had the, you know, the little butterfly clip on the back and I opened it up and there was a card in there and some other stuff. And there was another envelope. And I said do not open until you're five minutes in the flight. So I put it back in flight. You know, I wait waited till we took off. And then I opened it. And there was a card in there handwritten, and it said, Thank you for raising the bar at my company. And thank you for making a difference in my life. And she said a few more things. But she actually gave me a check for $6,500. And that was the cover of the seminar that I was going to and all of my expenses.
Now mind you, I didn't need her to cover my expenses. I mean, I already paid for it the week prior. The thing is, is it wasn't even out of her business account what she could have written it off as a consulting fee, or whatever it was out of her personal checking account. The reason I tell you this is I learned so much from this woman about AYNI and the business world, because I heard my brother in law talk about and he demonstrated it, but I learned it from this woman. And she said to me one day, we were talking and she goes you know if I live to be 100 years old, I will never recoup all the goodwill that I've created in the world. Now her company is the second largest private real estate company in North Texas. And it's probably not now because actually she decided to close it all down and and just get out of the business completely. But one of the largest real estate companies in the prior I think the largest private one in Texas was called Ebby Halliday. And Ebby Halliday was a very, very well known real estate figure as was a lady that I mentioning, they were the two most well known women in Dallas, DFW North Texas Real Estate.
And one day, I was talking to my friend and she goes, You know, I want to take you over and introduce you to this woman, that's she gave me the name but she goes this person. And I said, well, who is that person? And she says, well, that person is the President of Ebby Halliday. And I said to her I said Why? Why would you take me over and introduce me to your competition so that I can do training over there. Now as you're hearing this story, think about that. I mean, how many people hoard you know, they hoard their resources or whatever they think in terms of competition and I've got a beat my competition and she's wanting to introduce me to the competition.
And she said to me, she goes, look, our industry really needs, what you do and who you are. And if you can make a lot of people's lives better, you can make the entire industry better. Notice, she wasn't thinking about herself. She wasn't thinking about herself. She wasn't thinking about her company. She was thinking about how she could make the world and the industry a better place. I know I've mentioned before, maybe it's in this podcast, maybe old definitely other places, and especially in my coaching program.
The very first day I had lunch with this lady, I'd asked her, you know, I said, How did you build your company so quickly? And I think I told him the podcast, and I'll say it again. But she didn't say oh, I've you know, I've got this national reputation. And people know me. And I'm, you know, I'm friends with H. Ross Perot, and marketing reports and analysis and name recognition, none of that. She said, Oh, that's easy. love, care, concern and giving. And I have watched her live her life as a servant, as a giver. And there's so many people, especially I think the phrase came around back in the 90's, the Phrase Servant Leadership, and so many people run around, bla bla bla bla, bla, bla, bla, I want to be your mortgage broker for life. And I want to be your real estate agent for life and servant leadership, all this nonsense. And you know what?
It sounds good. It does. It sounds good on paper Servant Leader. But what I've noticed over the years, and when I coach people, it gets very personal. I mean, I get to know who they are at a core level. And so many people want to be Servant Leaders, not because of being a servant leader, and what they can do for other people. They want to be servant leaders because of what they can get. Because if they're a servant, leader, oh, guess what? They can garner more business.
A gentleman named Adam, Adam Grant wrote a book and it's called, I don't know what it's called, I spent a lot of years I forgot the title. But anyway, in his book, it might pop into my head in just a moment. But in this book, he actually they've done research, I believe, and it's been a lot of years since I've read the book. But he categorized selling professionals in the three categories. And two, takers, matchers, and givers. And takers were obviously the people who take take, take, take, take, take take, they're always taking. And we all know somebody like that. I don't think I've ever been like that. But I've definitely had been the next category, which is the matcher. And the matcher is tell you what you give me XYZ, I'll give you XYZ, you do ABC I'll do ABC. And if you're not going to do it for me, I'm not going to do it for you.
I'm going to draw a distinction a little later in this episode about how to set up boundaries, so that you still work as a servant, but you're not being taken advantage of, by the takers. So and then the giver, which this woman that I'm talking about is the giver is that she's always giving, she's always there to help. She's always there to serve. Now, let me draw a little bit of a boundary here. When I say that she hit one point at her company here in Dallas, she had 700 real estate agents. I believe the number is 700. And even as a first year, first week, agent, came to her and said, You know what, I've got to go on my first listing presentation. Will you go with me? Yep, I've seen her do what she would get in the car. And she would go on a listing presentation with a brand new agent. I mean, she was constantly they're constantly to serve her people.
One morning, I spoke at an event. I don't speak at events anymore. It was early morning, which I don't do mornings. I'm not a morning person I spoke at an event is like seven o'clock in the morning. And but it was for it was for one of her agents and it was downtown. And she was there. And I said, What are you doing here? And we're really good friends. So I could say it that way. And she goes, Well, I'm here to support Jeff. And I thought, wow, this woman runs this company seven offices. I mean, she travels all over the world for Real Estate, all this stuff. National name. I mean, she was the president of Tar at One Point, Texas Association of Realtors, very, very, very, very busy woman. And she comes to support one of her agents. She does that from the heart. And I don't know if you can gather by this point. But this woman is extraordinary. And when she leaves the planet, it's going to be a loss why?Because this woman serves with an open heart.
She told me once she goes, it doesn't matter to me how high that I have been in life. What matters and I know I've said this in the podcast before. But what matters is how many people that I can take with me. I'll talk about boundaries in a minute when I started talking about her. And you might be wondering, Well, why am I not mentioning her name? Because the interesting thing about her is as powerful and as influential as she is and she had been the Dallas businesswoman of the year. I don't know how many times and she's an extremely private woman an extraordinarily extraordinarily private you will find nothing about her private life online. And if given Google her name, you're going to find her company name and that is it. She is extremely private, and so I want to, I want to respect that.
But when I say boundaries, she'll help anyone, she will help anyone anywhere. And I've seen her do it at any company at any place. I've seen her do it in restaurants, I've seen her do it, oh my gosh, it's so many places. But she sets boundaries in that if somebody doesn't value the help, then she's not going to help him because she's not going to waste her energy. So let's go back to giving here and I want to ask you a question. So let's say that, you know, Susan, and John Smith, part of their, you know, people do this part of their charitable trust as they're going to build a wing at a hospital. And they want the wing called the Susan and John smith cancer and oncology wing, or whatever. Do you think that's giving to give? Or do you think that's giving to get?
Now no judgments on my part, because we're going to do what we do as human beings, but my thinking is that is giving the get because they are going to get their name on a wing of the hospital. And that is recognition. My brother in law, Don Xavier and I were talking one day, we're just sitting on the back porch, we were in Colorado on summer vacation. And he says, you know, true humbleness, is to give, and no one knows, that you gave. He says because you know, you can't hide from the universe, you can't hide. So when you give with an open heart, the universe is going to balance that back at some point. And if you don't give and you don't blow the whistles and put your name up in lights, and you just give silently, but with an open heart. That is true humbleness. You know, I had a client of mine. And I don't know, maybe you will maybe you won't fit in this category. Maybe you resonate. client of mine, when I used to, I used to do a lot of heavy coaching in the Real Estate industry. And he was the top, he was number one agent at his office. And we were talking about this concept years ago. And I actually dropped him as a client after this conversation, because I couldn't help him anymore.
I was talking to him that my interpretation and coaching him was my interpretation is that his business was all about building himself, and all about what he could get. But it wasn't about true heart based service.And I talked to him a few times about and it just wasn't registering. But he was frustrated because he couldn't grow his revenue. He couldn't grow you know, it just it wasn't growing. And he was doing really well. But I mean, upper seven figures, but he just couldn't get to the million dollar mark. And it dawned on me that he doesn't have the heart of somebody, like an agent that would have people just, you know, raving about him. Even though he was like, mechanically, he was very, very, very good at what he did. But emotionally and from the heart, he was sealed off. And he said to me, he said, You know what, Jim, he goes, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to take care of my family, he has two kids, because I'm going to take care of my family.
And when I've taken care of my family first, then I will help other people. And I'm sharing with you if that resonates with you, he was and he's still still actually at that same place, pretty much economically. He's working backwards. And if you're working from that place you are working backwards. Many years ago, when he lives in New York City, I had a client who wanted me to teach him some advanced and some, I'll put it this way, some advanced influence. And his name was Raphael, he was a Venezuelan oil man, he and his wife were very, very wealthy. His offices in Rockefeller Center, he and his wife owned the whole floor of their apartment building on Park Avenue, we got to know each other and out of the blue, he says, Jim put together a business, any business you want to put together, I'm going to fund it for you, I'm going to back it for you. And there was more conversation around it. But we got along really well. And and I said, Why would you do this? And he said to me, he says, You know what? He goes when I help you, and I help you expand, I help myself.
And most of us don't look at it that way. And I guys, I have been there. And that I was the person that would say, Well, let me go out and let me you know, let me do all my stuff. And let me take care of myself first. And then exhale, who, you know, once I've taken care of myself, and I'm secure, oh, then I've got the money in the security to go out and the time and everything else to go out and help other people.I don't think that way anymore. Because you heard me mentioned maybe in a recent podcast is that I'm on the planet for two reasons. I'm here to evolve and grow myself. And I'm here to serve others. I'm here to serve you.
And if you look at the podcast that needs no defense, I get messages every day from people saying My God, I've changed my life listening to your podcast. And here's the thing when I started this, it wasn't to start a podcast. And it wasn't about information because we are in a world that's just drowning in information. My intention was not information in this podcast, it's transformation. So I AYNI A Y N I n i don't know how to say the word correctly. I don't know if it's Amish or Amish. But you know what I mean? A M I S H they have what's called barn building is tell you what when I build a barn, the community comes and they build my barn. When you need your barn built, the community comes and they build your barn.
And that's the way that I look at life is that unlike this Real Estate agent who said, You know what, I'm going to take care of myself first, and then I'll take care of everyone else. That's a dead end. That is a broken strategy. Because the way that I look at it is, the more that I invest my time and my energy and my expertise into other people, literally, let's just be transparent here. Many, many people are lining up with my transformational program, the next one opens up in a few months. But you know what, you've seen me in this podcast, demonstrate and demonstrate over and over. And I know that the more that I build your life with asking for nothing in return, the more you're going to want to work with me. But I want to be very clear. Also, I'm doing what I do in this podcast, not entirely for marketing, I'm doing it because this is what I'm on the planet to do. I know that when I invest in you, however I invest in you, you're going to invest in me, just to make sure that we're we're on the same page here.
Because then people can misinterpret that. Also, I do not let people into my coaching programs free, which I've already tried that marketing model, and it's broken. I tried a marketing model a couple of years back where I said, Tell you what go through the entire Transformational Program, pay me when you're done, I had a very low attendance rate. Why? Because people had no skin in the game. So want to be very, very clear about that. But the way that I work is I'm a bridge, use me use me as a bridge and every all the information that I can bring you and every bit of content that I can bring you use it as a bridge to build your life. If you get back to me, great if you don't great, because guess what? I'm creating the karma and the goodwill by helping you and you're going to go out in the world and help more people. And all that energy just comes right back to me.
So as I said, Please, please, please get this. And when you really when you have the AHA and you have the knowing that light bulb light bulb goes off, and you're like, wow, I really get it is when Florence Scovel Shinn. I've mentioned her work before, it's about 100 years old. You can find it on Amazon for like $5. And in my interpretation, I know that I've mentioned her before. She talks a lot about this, but she uses the word God, if that doesn't resonate with you, which you guys never hear me use that word, use divine force, quantum field, the great grand mystery, spirit, divine force, whatever you want. Because there is a consciousness, there is a force in the universe. But in her book, when she when she says that one line was just captivating to me, and this man that I had mentioned, Raphael had demonstrated this, and as this woman has, my brother in law has, is when you invest in other people,you're literally Because see, we live in a universe of flow and cycle, you're investing in yourself.
Now as far as myself, I tide. And I actually, I'm trying to think of the right words here, because I haven't thought through it, and the way that I want to share it with you. But I'm going to just use the word tide, I tide 10% of every penny that comes into my life. And I do it with an absolute open heart with gratitude. As a matter of fact, notice what I said with gratitude. I'm grateful to be able to tide and the more gratitude and the more that I tide. And the more that I give with an open heart, the more money like a fire hose, I mean, just comes flowing right back into my life. So that as I said a bit earlier, don't take my word for it, start working from this place. And you know what it could be $1, literally, but give the dollar with an open heart. Or it could be giving somebody cookies or something, do something to help other people create expansion in their life.
I'm not going to talk too much about it in this episode. But I want to share a couple of more thoughts here.Number one, is relationships is I'm going to tell you how most of us work most of us actually want what we want and the way that we want it. And if I said at one point of my life, I wasn't that way I would be lying is that think about that you pretty much want in your relationship, what you want it in the way that you want it. Now here's the thing is if you don't get what you want, in the way that you want, you know you want it and what a lot of people start doing, they start pouting or whatever. But there's something that I have on my refrigerator at home. And I just found that online a lot of years ago, and I would love to get the credit to whoever wrote this. I just don't know anymore. But it was a therapist. And there's, I don't I can't even there's relationship saving advice. And she had 10 tips for a happy relationship. And those 10 tips are just to me priceless. But one of the tips was and this applies to AYNI, Are you ready?
One of the tips is to give first what you want and I've worked backwards. And I'm asking you look at your own personal life do you want before you give whatever your love languages? Let's say your love language is physical? Do you want physical and let's say that your partner's is time you know, quality time? Well do you want the physical before you give the quality time. And being as I said, just being transparent with you guys, I think this used to be one of my biggest limitations in relationship is wanting to get before I would give. And if you want to watch your life take off providing providing you are with I'm gonna use air quotes the right person, start giving first and watch what happens. It's shocking what happens when we give first.
Okay, so one of the share that and and two more things here about giving this is what I know also is I used to giving, giving, giving give because I am a giver. And even though despite what I said earlier, I mean, I love helping people that gives me a great deal of joy. And I used to give away things for free, a lot of it for free. And something that I learned from my brother in law, he once said to me, because you can't do that, not in the way that you're doing it. He goes, life is like an ATM machine. And you keep taking money out, but you don't put any money in very quickly, you go to your ATM, and you have no money.
And that's the way that I used to live as long as let me give him giving giving give. I don't do that anymore is that when I give? I mean, I give from the heart, no question. And I give without expectation. But there are times when I give even the friends and family that I request reciprocity. And I don't mean money. But you know what, I'll write the sales copy for you, I will help you with this or I will help you with that. But you know what? Take me to a nice dinner. And I didn't come out right the way that I said it. But I think you get the point. And because I have a good friend of mine, very good friend of mine that used to take advantage of my expertise. I mean, if I were to look at anything for you, I wouldn't look at it for anything less than a couple of 1,000 bucks an hour copy or headlines or marketing or anything, or even transformational stuff. And he used to always ask me to do stuff for him. And I did and he never appreciated it never even used it after I did it for him. And he would ask me over and over and I would do it. And one day I said you know what, I'm not doing it anymore. If you want to pay me, I'm not gonna charge in my full fee. But I am not doing this for you anymore. Because you know what, you don't appreciate what I do. And it's a waste of my time. And I can be helping someone, someone else. And since that time, he's never asked me to do any, you know, copy or sales ads or anything for him since that time.
And even today, I want to wrap this up here. But even today, we were having lunch and he's like, Well tell me how to make more money. And I've haven't shared this story with anybody. We're in the parking lot. We're walking out of lunch, we're in the parking lot. And I remember when we were we were having lunch, he opened his wallet, and he probably had about 500 bucks in cash. And I know it because he pulled it out. He like five $100 bills. I've known him for a lot of years. I mean, 30 years. So it's not like anything private that I'd know what's in his wallet. I mean, we were roommates back in our 20's. And we were in the parking lot talking and I don't carry cash. I didn't have any cash on me. And this guy came up to us. He wasn't really panhandling. But he was he was just out of the hospital. And you could I mean little you could tell he was just out of the hospital. And he said, You know, I really need to help buying some medication. And I'm like, you know, I would help I told the guy I would help you. But I don't have it I have I don't have a penny on me, I can't help you right now. Because whatever money I would have had on me, I would have given to him. My friend, he looked at my friend and my friend said I don't have any money.
And the guy turned away and left that thank you and he left. My friend had 500 bucks in his wallet. had that been me, I would have given that guy that $500 and that's not me making something up melodramatic or talking some BS or any of that I would have given the guy that 500. Why? Because I would have given it with an open heart to serve someone else. And I know the universe at some point in somewhere in some time is going to bring that back to me.
And so the comment was is my friend, we had you know, we had lunch a couple of weeks ago. And he's like, I just not making money like I want to, and I didn't tell him what I'm telling you guys, because he really wouldn't be open to it. But he doesn't recognize that he doesn't bring the money into his life and it doesn't flow. Because since I've known him, he hoards his money. And life is a cycle like the ATM you've got to put money in to take money out. And it's like a water hose. You know, I mean, you've got if you kink the water hose, the money doesn't flow. Well, my friend doesn't let the money flow out. And then he wonders why it doesn't come back in.Okay, your transformational takeaway. I'm not even sure you need one in this episode. But your transformational takeaway, let's keep it really simple. I suggest your takeaway be that what you give with an open heart is what returns to you.
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others then share this with your friends and family. You know if you found value, they will too so please share via your social media channels.Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. And I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is@iamjimfortin. Finally I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together, you and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening.