EPISODE 2: “Who Are You And What Is Your Identity?”
In this episode I discuss:
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You’re listening to episode number two of the Transform Your Life From the Inside Out podcast.
Listen to this entire episode because it’s going to become obvious to you why you’ve been stuck in life, why you do what you do and why you do what you do even if you don’t think that you want to do it.
Beyond that what you’re going to start learning is how to create the identity that you want to create to automatically and effortlessly create the environment and life that you desire.
Hi I’m Jim Fortin and you’re about to start transforming your life from the inside out with this podcast. I’m widely considered a leader in subconscious transformation and I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years.
Here you’re going to find no rah-rah motivation and no hype because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you have never thought possible.
If you’re wanting a lot more in life- to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. Then this podcast is for you because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness.
And when you do that anything you want then becomes possible for you. I’m glad you’re here.
You Create Your Identity And Your Identity Is Your World
So let me ask you a question.
Did you buy or did you smoke a cigarette today?
Now that might be an odd place to start but this is a very poignant illustration about identity. Because this this episode is about Who are you and What is your identity?
All right. Back to my question.
Did you smoke today?
Yes or no.
Now, plain and simple, if you smoked a cigarette today which is a doing behavior, you are in your self image and your identity, you are a smoker.
If you did not smoke today, then plain and simple you are not a smoker.
What I want you to understand and this will be like a big aha for a lot of you, is it doesn’t matter what you think that you want. It doesn’t matter what you do. You will only create in life what you are. And a smoker smokes because they are a smoker and a non-smoker does not smoke because they are a non-smoker.
This is why people become wealthy because they are wealthy in their mind.
This is why people no matter what you do, stay poor and don’t have money. Because in your mind, in your identity, in your self image you are a poor person.
So it really doesn’t matter as I said what you think or what you think you think that you want.
You will only get what you are. And you know what I said it doesn’t matter what you think.
The reason I’m saying that is that let’s say that you think that you want to make a million dollars a year. And that would be left brain analytical thought. “Yes I see other people doing it”- you might say. So if they can do it I can do it. Or I can be fit and trim and healthy, or in a great relationship, or whatever it is that you want. And then a year later you find that you know what, you haven’t created any of it.
Because that is your left brain analytical thought saying Yes, I can have that. But at your unconscious level, in your unconscious paradigms and in your identity you are not that. And if you are not that you cannot do that.
And if you are if you cannot do that then you can not Be whatever it is you want- the rich or the fit, or the trim, or whatever it might be for you.
So your identity is who you are subconsciously.
Now you’ve also heard me mentioned the word Self image. Your identity you learn as a small child.
So let’s say for example… this is how it works. When you are a small kid and let’s just choose money. Because interestingly enough 80 percent of the American population right now, today whatever the date is I don’t know.
February something, 2018. The twenty seventh. 2018.
80% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck.
So here’s what happens. And this is a great example in my own family with my brother and I. So if you grew up in a family and you constantly hear Money’s hard to come by.
You’ve got a struggle.
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
We’re not rich.
There’s never enough.
So those are experiences that you’re having. Now what happens from the experience is that you create interpretations. So the experience as a toddler you could hear your parents saying We never have enough money, we never have enough money, we never have enough money. Then what happens is from those experiences you create interpretations: Well, I guess you know dad says that and mom says that: never enough money, never enough money. That must be the world that I live in. Therefore I’m going to tell myself stories about not having money and I’m gonna tell myself stories for a lot of my life.
That money’s hard to make.
And I’ve got a struggle.
And I’m going to work until my eyeballs bleed.
And hard work is the key to success.
And you got to be this, you’ve got to be that and on and on and on.
And this is what I call the identity loop. Once you’re in the loop for most people it persists for a lifetime.
If you look at for example, you know I used to live in New York City. And there’s a heavy contingency of Orthodox Jewish people there. And you know, you would never see a small Jewish boy. Let’s say 7 or 8 years old say you know dad I’ve rethought this Jewish thing and I think that I’m going to be Catholic. You don’t see it. And the same thing pertains to pretty much the entire world we live in and the entire world that you will live in. For the most part what ever your parents were, you are.
That’s why you know Republicans, people that are Republicans for the most part grew up in Republican families. People that are Jewish grew up in Jewish families, for the most part. And now of course are exceptions. However pretty much you have been indoctrinated since you were a kid to be exactly who you are today. And you were indoctrinated with your parents identity as well. As a matter of fact whatever identity they held, they indoctrinated you with that identity to be a particular kind of person or a certain way or in particular that the world works in a certain way.
What most people do is they go through their entire lifetime. Entire lifetime never questioning how? How did I become who I am?
So if you look at your life and I’ve seen this so many times and I’ve been there so let me talk about my family for a second. I remember when I was in my thirties or so, early thirties and was buying a new condo. And when I moved into the new condo I had to have it painted. So I stayed with my parents for a week or so. And I remember one day my mother saying something and I thought to myself Oh my God, I am my mother. Because I learned so many characteristics from her that became my identity.
And then I’d mentioned earlier about my family, my brother and I. We were both raised in the environment where my dad was a blue collar worker. He was an auto body repair man. And all that we ever heard. I mean literally I popped out of the womb and probably when my dad got the first hospital bill, he said I can’t afford that.
All that I ever heard growing up is Money’s hard to come by. We’re not rich. Money doesn’t grow on trees. And I heard that incessantly over, and over and over.
Now my brother also heard the same thing. The difference between the two of us is very early in life. I decided that I wanted different things for my life. I remember when I was in high school, I said I want a Mercedes Benz.
Because I saw somebody that had one and I wanted one.
Well this day and age I do extremely well financially. And yet my brother who is five years younger than I am… My brother’s still today works is probably about a 20 dollar an hour ranch hand in the hot Texas heat. And he works literally his life into the ground. That…see, we grew up in the same environment but that is identity at work for you.
So right now what I want you to look at is the question and that question is: Who am I?
Couple of days ago I got an email and the person said Hey Jim, if our identity is subconscious and I use the word subconscious and unconscious interchangeably.
They said if my identity is subconscious then how do I know what my identity is?
That my friend is a really simple one.
Look at your external environment which is what we talked about in the last episode.
Biggest see your identity actually matriculate obviously into your beliefs, into your skills, into your behavior, into your environment. So if you want to know what your identity is. Go log on and look at your bank account. Go look in the mirror, look at your body. Look at the state of your relationship.
Are you in an amazing relationship?
Are or are you on your fourth marriage?
So what you want to look for and these are telltale clues. What you want to look for is what are the patterns of your life?
Do you actually lose a lot of weight and gain it back?
Do you make a lot of money and actually lose it?
If you’re like most people when it comes to money we have what I call a money barometer. And that is where led it to our identity. If you’re the kind of person for example you learn that you’re the kind of person that makes one hundred grand a year. That’s pretty much what you will do every single year. Year in, year out.
Why? Because you’re the kind of person who does that.
Yet for people to make millions a year, you do that because that is your identity.
So I’m gonna slow down here and I cannot stress enough. Is that you can only do your identity. And if you want to know what your identity is, look at your environment. That will tell you 100 percent what your identity is.
I remember, I don’t watch a lot of TV but I did enjoy American Idol when it was on TV and I think it’s back on now. And I remember one of the final seasons there was this kid named Sam Wolf. And when I saw him audition, I for some reason I had this uncanny ability and I think it’s because I’m reading body language that I can pick winners and I’ve been very good at that. And I said when I saw Sam Wolf audition, he’s probably 17 or so, I said that kid can win it. Even the judges said that kid can win it.
Well, he was actually I think he came in at number five. And in the final episode they had Sam Wolf on stage. And they also had a prior winner named Phillip Phillips be on the final episode. And I watched Sam play. And he was very rigid. Very I mean just very modulated. And then Phillip Phillips walked down…and of course he had more experience and he was probably four or five years older. He came out and just tore up the stage.
Well this is something that I want you to get. Is that they both probably had in my mind I don’t have a professional opinion. I mean I’m not I’m not a music critic. But Sam did get to number five. And even though it’s a popularity contest the judges did say that he could possibly win. So the judges are professionals and I believe them. So basically what the judges were saying is Sam is pretty good.
Now where am I going with this. Is I believe and I observe that Sam Wolfe and Phillip Phillips had very comparable potential. Yet they’re working from very different identities. Because Sam’s identity was along the lines of he had a lot of fear in his body language. So his identity probably was along the lines of I have to, I have to be a certain way. Or I have to show up in a certain way. Whereas Phillip Phillips shut up completely differently.
So, so many of you parents you tell your kids things like you’ve got to live up to your potential. You’ve got to live up to your potential. Well that’s a misnomer. Because you and everyone else you may live to your potential. But what most people live to is their identity.
And if you want to create more in life it’s not about your potential. Obviously that does help. But it’s about what your identity is. Because here’s something that I want you to understand.
You can never out perform your Identity.
Let’s take this back to money again. And back to episode number one and all these you know social media personalities. When they want you to perform something, they want you to do something. You’ve got to work until your eyeballs bleed. And you have to do this. And you have to do that. And you’ve got the prospect, and knock on doors, and lead generate, and go to the gym, and be on this diet and that diet. Those are all doing things.
But see if let’s say for money for example. You do all these Things but your identity is separate and different. It is separate but it’s different. So you do all these things to make money and that’s why some of you might be doing it. You do all these things to make money yet you never have any money to show for it.
Because you’re living from your identity which is what we do unconsciously. You look at people who win the lottery. And there’s been no studies on this. Many times people who win the lottery just a few years later, they’re broke again.
Because their external world they might you know they might win all this money. But their internal barometer is about being poor. A great example of that is if you look at you know Mike Tyson. I think Mike Tyson won something like 300 million dollars in his career. Yet as I understand it I don’t follow paparazzi I’m you know News and People magazine. But I think I read somewhere where he’s broke again.
I mean how in the world can someone, how in the world can they make 300 million dollars and be broke again?
Well it’s the same way that lottery winners. Win 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 million dollars and three to five years later they’re broke again. Because our- mine, yours- our Identities are like a thermostat. Whatever that thermostat or barometer is set at, that’s what happens automatically.
So I’m going to give you a little subconscious dialogue here. So let’s say for example that your identity, your unconscious barometer with money is You’ve got to struggle for it. You don’t deserve it. It’s hard to make. And let’s say that’s what you, that’s where you work from at the identity level.
Then you inherit ten million dollars. Well, what happens is a little subconscious speak here, the subconscious mind says “Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, you just inherited money in your environment or you you want it or whatever. You at your subconscious level are broke. Therefore I am going to make you adhere to your subconscious identity. And I’m going to make you broke. I’m going to make you lose it. I’m going to make you spend it. I’m going to make you, you know you frivolous with it. I’m going to make you mismanage it, whatever. But the reality is, as long as you’re broke in your mind, i’m going to make sure that you are broke in your external environment.”.
So hopefully you’re starting to see. Hopefully we’re starting to crack open here now in our very short time together that whatever it is that you want to create in life, you must first have it in your unconscious identity. Because the example that I gave you. Smokers smoke because they are smokers. Nonsmokers actually do not smoke because they are nonsmokers and the same thing with you. Everything that you have created in your life, you have created because you are that.
Now, here’s a phrase that I live by. And this is very… I think is very powerful. Is that You cannot do what you are not. Consider that. You can not do what you are not. If you are not first rich in your mind, there’s no way you’re gonna be rich. If you are not first healthy in your mind, there’s no way you are going to be healthy. It is just not going to happen.
Now I know you’ve heard all the motivational hyperbole, and jargon and all that. One of my clients one time, she is a very large real estate company. She’s one of the actually, she’s one of the top real estate brokers in the United States. NAR the National Association of Realtors considers are one of the top 20 thought leaders in national real estate. She is older now. She’s about 80. She’s a Dallas business icon.
I was her coach and she became my mentor. And she said something to me very simple which I’m sure you’ve heard before but now after this podcast it might sink in a little a little deeper. But she said, you know Jim I tell my agents that they’re never going to be a successful agent until they are first successful in their mind. And the same thing pertains to you.
Let’s talk about that for a second. Let’s talk about Money and Money Identity.
So and I think I pretty much covered this but if you want to know what your unconscious identity is about money, go look at your bank account. The way that or the place that most people work from is identity sustenance. Most people work from you know what. Just enough and even people that are you know middle class. Just enough to get by.
I never have a lot of money. I’m never out of money because they work from the Universe provides. But to really not working from that place even know they don’t know it. But they’re working from this place of You know what, I always have enough money to pay my bills and to get by. And that’s what they do. And the reason why is because that’s who they are in their identity.
Where do you work from?
Do you work from I’m the kind of person who tracks money and money piles up into my life.
Do you work from that I’ve got to struggle and money’s hard. And I’ve got to work till my eyeballs bleed. And I’ve got to struggle, and struggle and struggle?
Now I don’t care where you are in life. I don’t care if you’re driving in your Tesla right now, or your Mercedes, or your old beat up car. I don’t care if you make a million dollars a year, 10 million a year, or you’re making thirty two thousand a year. What I’m telling you right now applies to every single person on this planet. Is that you will never outperform your identity and you’ll always work with a net.
You want more. You have to Be more. Which is ways of Being which we talked about in the first episode. You know if you go back and we’ve all seen this. If you look at Oprah for example. You know she’s one of the most famous people on the planet. And we all know that Oprah’s had weight challenges over the years and she owns part of Weight Watchers now. And she’s you know many years ago pulled out a wagon on stage and at 60 pounds of fat in it. And look at Oprah. She yo-yo’s from and I don’t know because I haven’t seen her in years person well not personally but on TV or whatever. But she yo-yo’s.
Why is it that she can do everything in her external environment- hire the trainers and the right diets and this and that. And the food, and the experts, and the nutritionist. Yet she loses weight but she always goes back to being overweight.
Now a little bit off topic here. I understand that she was raped when she was I think 14 years old or so. What I learned and I am a master hypnotist. What I learned many years ago is that that can be what I call a metaphor, an isolationist metaphor or a metaphor to create isolation for her. Because let’s say for example she was raped. What the body could do is put weight on and then she could say We’ll see, now I’m overweight and I’m unattractive or I’m the F word I’m fat and nobody wants me. Therefore I will not be raped again. Anyway, neither here or there at this point in this particular episode but I want you to look at Oprah as an example. Is that in her identity there is something going on that creates the continued weight challenge for her.
You know we also you’ve seen this in your own life. To give you some more examples here and now you’ve seen this. You know, you might know a woman and she’s in a relationship. And he beats her. And she gets out and everyone in the family is like Oh my gosh, thank God Suzanne is out of that relationship with Bob. He was so bad for her. He was so destructive for her and now she’s out. And she’s free. And everybody in the family’s happy about it.
Then, a year later she meets a new man and she’s all excited. And guess what, the new man beats her. Why? Because in her identity, if she is a woman that stays in a relationship where she gets beat, that confirms her identity that she is a woman who deserves to be beat.
On the flip side something that you don’t hear people talking about is what about Bob who’s beating her. So, we tend to actually seek out people that also confirm our identity. So, if she is actually, she’s a woman that she deserves to be beat. What she will automatically do is search out a man that believes women deserve to be beat.
Now what they’ve done is they’ve created a relationship which confirms both of their identities. Her identity is confirmed because he beats her. And his identity is confirmed because she lets him beat her. Which confirms his identity that women deserved to be beat.
This can go pretty deep. I know. And I want you to look at your own life. Because everything in your own life is your identity at work for you.
This is why it’s so vital. Vital. And you know what. When I look out in the world at all the personal development content out there and all that. For the most part every bit of it is external. If you were to go to a big speakers event. You know, some large speaker. One of the first questions they never ask is Who and what is the identity of the person attending this event?
You know, you look at big speakers and they’ll say well here’s my book, here’s how to do X Y Z and I’m famous and you should listen to me. And here’s my book on how to create blah blah blah blankety blank in your life. And let’s say for example which is something I going to talk about a lot. And one of the next episodes is gonna be on habits.
But let’s say for example that I have a book on habits. Which I don’t. And let’s say that I tell you and you see all the time on Facebook. Here’s the seven habits of millionaires. They get up early. They read books every day, whatever it is.
Well, let’s say for example that I tell you in my habit book habit Number One is that you have to get up early because that’s you know people make a lot of money. That’s what they do. But what if by circadian rhythm that you know what, you prefer actually you’re a night owl. Which is biological and actually electromagnetic. And that you prefer staying up at night.
So all these people, all these motivators tell you here’s the seven ways and this and that and this and that. But what no one ever looks at is as an individual Who are you? What do you identify as? What are your stories? And we’re gonna do an episode on stories. What are your stories about that.
Now, as I was creating all this I did say that you’re going to start learning in this particular episode how to change your identity. What I wanted to do in this episode is I want to actually ingrain before we start doing change work and I want to ingrain and to get you to start thinking. I want to get you to a place where you own, you own this. You come to actually know it. Not understand it. There’s a difference between understanding and knowing. And the example there could be is that for example I’ve never had a broken bone. Yet I understand what a broken bone is because I’ve seen it on TV, and in the movies, and I’ve read about it in books, and you know biology class and everything else. But you know what I understand it. But I don’t know what a broken arm is because I’ve never had one. And if you’ve had a broken bone you know what it feels like.
So the purpose of this episode is to get you to start Knowing, to know that you can never outperform your identity. And if you want to create more in life which you do and the fact that you’re here means that you want to do that. You must own that we have to start working at which we will do as we go through the episodes, we have to start working on letting go of your old identity and creating a New Identity for you.
I think you’re probably ready now by this point also the old you know people telling you you’ve got to work harder and more hours and blah blah blah blah blah. That stuff doesn’t work. Because see if that worked, every one who did that would make more money and they would live better lives. And that right there demonstrates that that social paradigm is that you have to work hard to get ahead. You’ve got to work hard to be wealthy.
That is a broken paradigm that pretty much the entire culture is caught in. So what you want to do is you want to start with your identity. Remember the logical level, the pyramid, not the behavior. You want to start with the identity because when we start there, just like the smoker. Whatever the identity is, everything else will follow.
So here’s a huge question that I have for you. If you’re not driving, write this down. The question is this:.
What would be the identity of someone who already has what I want? I’ll repeat, What would be the identity of someone who ALREADY, the operative word is ALREADY… What would be the identity of someone who Already has what I want? And I want you to consider that.
What I want you to do is look out in the world. Look you know look around and I want you to look for someone who already has what you want. And then I want you to ask yourself how is their identity different than mine? What identity would I need? And then you look at this is plain and simple, people make this really hard. Well, how do I get that identity?
You start thinking that way. You know I once had someone actually mentioned to me. They said Well Jim you know can you can you help me here? Can you give me steps to being happy?
And I had to giggle at that. Because the way to be happy is the way to be happy. There are no steps to be happy. You just be happy. Happy as a factory setting, we all know how to be happy. And when I say all I shouldn’t say all, ninety nine point nine percent of us we know how to be happy. But this person was looking for ways to build an extra steps and she couldn’t be happy till she had steps to being happy.
Now, there’s a whole different coaching lesson that went on there. But what I want you to get right now is I want you to ask yourself: What would be the identity of someone who Already has what I want?
Now I know that also a lot of successful people I coach and they listen to me and they’re making a million, two million, three, four million a year, five million, some six seven eight and some even more. For the most part most of us want to go to a higher stage in life. And the reality is if you’re making three million but you want to make 10, the person making 10 most likely has a different identity than the person making 3 million. Just like a person making 300,000 thousand has a different identity than a person making thirty thousand dollars a year.
So you’re TRANSFORMATIONAL TAKEAWAY from this episode is:.
What identity would I need to have to create _______ in my life? What identity would I need to have to start creating _______ in my life?
When you start working from there, what will happen is you’ll find that you’ll start doing different things because now you’re working from a different place.
OK, so now we’ve got you started thinking about your identity and knowing that the foundation of your life comes down to your Identity. Because as I’m going to stay for the third time, You can not outperform your identity.
So, stay tuned and keep listening because in the next episode you’re going to learn how your subconscious stories either build for you or take away from you. Whatever you think that you can or you cannot be, do or have. Plain and simple, is a story. Even as I’m telling you that notice that you’re telling yourself a story even as I’m telling you about stories. Because see your entire lifetime is one big story that you learned in childhood.
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you’re the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know if you found value, they will too. So please share via your social media channels.
Also if you have questions I’m here to assist. You can email me questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram. My Instagram name is @IamJimFortin.
Finally, i do have a personal request. I believe that we’re all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves.
Together you and I, let’s help more people. If you would please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way.
I’d be grateful. And through your assistance together, we can transform more lives.
Thanks for listening.
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