EPISODE 3: “What Is The Story Of Your Life?”
In this episode I discuss:
What experience of life do I want? What story will create that for me?
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You're listening to episode number three of the Transform Your Life From the Inside Out podcast. This episode is about what is the story of your life? Listen to the entire episode because your stories control every single aspect of your life. Basically your life is one big story. And to prove that even as I'm telling you that your life is one big story, you are telling yourself stories about what you heard me say. Keep listening. This will be eye opening. Hi I'm Jim Fortin and you're about to start transforming your life from the inside out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation and I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here you're going to find no rah-rah motivation and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you have never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life- to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. Then this podcast is for you because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
What Stories Are You Carrying That Don't Serve You?
Okay so I'm curious. I did the episode introduction and then we went into the general introduction and the music and I'm curious about what stories you were telling yourself to this point in the podcast?
And even if it wasn't about the introduction what I want you to notice is that you were telling yourself a story about something. You know I want to give you an example here of how people carry stories for a lifetime. I had a one to one client. Her name was Sharon. And we were talking on her one to one coaching call and she said Jim you don't understand. I am the adult child of an alcoholic. And I said What does that mean? And she goes Well obviously that means that I am not able to sustain healthy adult relationships. And I said to her How do you know that? Where do you get this from? Where did this story come from? And she said well my therapist told me this. And I said let me ask you this. I said You're 63 years old, right? And she said Yes. And I said when was the last time you saw your father? She goes Oh I was 18. And I said so let me understand this. You have not seen your father in 45 years. Yet today you are still carrying a story that because you are the adult child of an alcoholic, you cannot sustain healthy relationships. And she goes Oh my gosh, i never realized that I had been carrying that story which is nothing more than a story for 45 years. So the question for you to start this episode is What stories are you carrying that don't serve you?
I don't know how old you are 20, 30, 40, 50, 60. And I see people and which is what humans do in their 60s and 70s and 80s. They're carrying stories that are 60 and 70 and 80 years old. And many of these stories do not serve you. So what I want you to understand is that everything in your life is a story. And if you're not getting what you want in life, then what is your story about that? What are your stories about money? What are your stories about health? What are your stories about wellness? What are your stories about abundance? Because notice every bit of that is a story. I also want to point out if you're starting to learn in these episodes is that whatever stories you have, you've learned as a child. You know you watched your mom bake as a kid or your dad do something, or your father said something, your mother, or your aunt, or your uncle, or your grandma. Somebody said something and even you know even you know your teachers and your clergy said things to you and you took that story most likely and you've lived that a lifetime. Let me give you the best example here, an example in my own life. I was an A student all the way through school. From first grade or whatever all the way to 12th grade. I graduated near the top of my class. And when I was in first grade I remember my teacher Mrs. Schilling. She put my math paper on my desk and I remember very vividly. It had a D on it. And she looked at me and she said Jimmy, you are not good at math.
Now she was an authority figure. She was my teacher. And my parents for years they could not understand why I made A's in every subject in school all the way through 10th grade. Yet I always struggled in math. Why? Because she imprinted me. She indoctrinated me with this belief that I wasn't good in math. Now in 10th grade what happened and I even failed math and algebra in ninth grade. But yet I had A's everywhere else and my parents used to yell at me. You're a smart kid. You know how come you're not applying yourself in math? And you know you should not be making grades like this. Well it wasn't me. It was my stories. And when we were in 10th grade, we had a foreign exchange student from Japan. And I was in a geometry class in 10th grade and I made the highest grade in the class. I made a ninety nine point nine for the year. I think that's what it was. But I know it's the highest grade in the class. And that dispelled my story and my belief. Because your stories come from your beliefs. That dispelled my belief that I wasn't good at math and the very next year I made A's in everything. So you know, take my example and look at your own life. Is that your life is going to reflect your stories. But what I want you to start getting in this podcast is that you... You're not your stories.
My brother in law which I will mention in a little bit down the road here and a couple of more episodes is a shaman. Shamans are healers, they are seers. I'm not gonna explain what they are right now. But he's been my mentor and I've been a shamans apprentice for the better part of over two decades now. And he's said to me one time and it was very poignant and it changed my life. He said the world is this way or that way because you tell yourself the world is this way or that way. And I want you listening right now to think about that. Consider that. Your world, your world is exactly like it is because you tell yourself that your world is that way. And by living from that story and telling yourself that, you perpetuate your model of reality. Something else that I want you to understand is that the stories that you have many of them do not serve you. What I want to point out is that stories that served you when you were 8 and 9 and 10 years old, they don't serve you anymore. So think back. And let's take a second here. I want you to go back into your past. And I want you to think about things that you heard your mother and father saying when you were 5, 6, 7, 8 years old. Literally go back and recount what kind of conversations did you hear in your household about the world that you live in and about what people are "good and bad". And what did you hear about money, and love, and relationships and abundance? And in particular what did you hear about health and wellness when you were a child? Because most likely what you did is you took those stories because you had an experience of them. You interpreted those stories. You own those stories and most likely you have lived those stories for a lifetime.
I was in Blockbuster back you know Blockbuster Video years back. And the clerks said Can I help you with something? And I said Yeah I'm looking for a movie. I'm sure many of you have seen and it's called There's Something About Mary. And I said Yeah I'm looking for x y z movie There's Something About Mary and he's like Oh OK. It's over here on this on the shelf in this isle, let me help you get it. Then that's all that I wanted. He walked to the front of the store to the register and he walked around the register and I walked up and I put the movie down. And he said to me, he goes Can I help you find something? And then he started laughing and he goes Oh my God. He goes I am such a broken record. And I want you to look at your stories because your stories are pretty much broken records. You pretty much tell the same stories every single day over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over and over. Not even recognize that you're trapped in a story. So let's look at some of these stories in your life. First things first. What are your stories about you? I'm so ugly. I have a big nose. I'm fat. I'm tall and lanky and people are going to make fun of me. I'm way too short. I am this. I am that. You know about health and wellness.
I remember another story when I was 12 years old. I heard my mother and I remember because I was in sixth grade. And I heard my mother say to someone she said Jimmy every winter gets bronchitis. And pretty much every winter Yep I had bronchitis. And I remember when I went to college it was I don't know early January or so. And I thought to myself wait Who says I have to get bronchitis every winter? That winter I did not have bronchitis and I've never had it since then. But notice I was living from a story. So again I'm gonna keep asking you what stories about you are you living like a broken record over, and over, and over. The reason that you're here is because you want to go to a higher state in life. That's what we want as human beings. So let's talk about stories in other parts of your life. What are your stories about money? Consider that. Are your stories that money's hard to make? Money is easy to come by. Money flows into my life. Money is everywhere. You have to struggle for money. I have to work hard for money. Or a big win for a lot of people is there's just never enough. Several years back I was talking to one of my coaches and I told him that I wanted to buy a piece of real estate in Colorado. And the thing was is I wanted to actually buy the property all cash. It was a seven figure piece of property. And I wanted no mortgage on it. And he started laughing at me. And he said Do you have the money cash right now? And I said No I don't. And he said Okay at your skill level there's no reason that you can't have the cash. So if you want the property you want to pay cash for it, change your story.
And I really got what he was saying and I think you're getting what I'm saying. And then he went on to say to me he said Well if you don't have it it's because your story didn't support it. And then he said he goes Who created the story in your mind that you don't have the cash yet? You've not been doing the things or being the things. And I said Well, I have. He goes You're right. I'm not responsible for your stories. You created that. And he said If you created your stories, no one created them for them. Then why can you not create brand new stories? And I say the same thing to you. Is that creating a story is quite literally and I mean literally akin to just making something up in your mind. Because that's what a story is, it's just something made up in your mind. And because it's something made up in your mind. Why don't you make up something that's going to work for you? For many years I worked exclusively with selling professionals teaching them persuasion and influence. And what do you think one of the biggest stories is that many selling professionals tell themselves that keep them from being top producing selling professionals? What do you think that is? One of the biggest stories that I hear over and over and over is Well you know what Jim, I don't want to be a cheesy salesperson. And the interesting thing about that is I tell people that you know what if you're not a cheesy person then why would you be a cheesy salesperson? But that's story. That story is what keeps many selling professionals trapped for many years making way below what they could you know potentially make. But they tell that story.
So if you're in business which most people listening to this probably are. What stories are you telling yourself about money? You know to keep on going with that. If you have a story that a thousand dollars is a lot of money which a thousand dollars is nothing. I mean 10000 is not a lot of money, a hundred thousand is not a lot of money. I don't care where you live if you're making 100 grand a year and you've got a couple of kids with taxes and living and everything else you're not making a lot of money. That is not a lot of money. But let's say for example that you're selling something and you think that two thousand dollars is a lot of money. Well if you're selling a product or a service that's two thousand dollars and you think that two thousand dollars is a lot of money, how can you expect to confidently ask anyone else for two thousand dollars when you think that two thousand dollars is a lot of money? It's all a story. Look at your relationships. Have you have you been married once? Twice? Three or four times? I mean that's not uncommon in this day and age. Look at your relationships. Are they healthy? Are they loving? Are they are they are they secure? Whatever your relationship is right now is a reflection of your stories. You know a big one is what are your possibilities stories? Most people do not work from possibility. Most people work from what I call resignation. Most people do not work from you know what's possible for them. Because anything is possible for you which I will demonstrate in our time together in another episode.
Anything is possible. Once you stop talking to yourself. Which is a story and literally I think it's three more episodes you know from now that I'm going to create where I'm going to show you and we're going to talk about unlimited potential. And you become unlimited when you stop the stories because it's your stories that stop you from everything. As simple as building an empire if you want or from going to the gym. Because let's say for example you want to go to the gym. And you're on the couch and then you start getting into the story Well, you know it's raining out and I'm tired and I don't feel like it, and I was up late. And then you don't go to the gym. Nothing more than a story. What I think you're getting at this point is as I said when I started every thing is a story. And notice I said this also when I started What stories are you telling yourself about the stories that you're hearing in this episode? Because everything that I'm saying in this episode is a story and you're telling yourself a story about stories. Notice that. I give you another good example here about stories. One of my cousins, she never had any more than a minimum wage job. She jumped from job to job. Didn't have a steady work history, a steady apartment history. She made minimum wage. One day my sisters and I and we were sitting at my mom's house one afternoon many years ago. And my cousin comes in she drives up in a brand new car. And after she laughed I said to one of my sisters I said you know what she's got no money. She doesn't really work. She's got you know, she didn't have what I consider to be a stable background. Which was you know job history and all this kind of stuff. And I said How in the world did she buy a brand new car?
And my sister, my sister said to me easy. She's too stupid to know that she couldn't do it. And I thought about that I'm like you know what she went and bought that car because she had no story that she couldn't buy that car. Now of course she probably paid 27 percent interest or something like that. But I want you to also notice my stories back then. My story was you know what you have to have good credit. You have to have a job history. You have to be able to show you've lived in a certain place for a certain amount of time. And my story back to and would have prevented me which I was in it. I mean I was fine financially and I own my own business. But you know what I want you to see both of our stories. Her story was if I want to get a new car, I'm gonna go get a new car. My story was Well you have to have all these things in place. So then I had to look at my own life. What stories was I living by that was keeping me trapped? And I'm asking you the same thing about your life. Dig deep. What stories are keeping you trapped. And to continue to bring this home wherever you are right now, are you in the car driving? Notice all the stories that you've told yourself while you've been driving that you don't even know you've been telling yourself- about that idiot driver, and that when you're driving too fast and oh my gosh that one didn't turn their blinker on, you know only stupid people don't turn their blinker on. Or that person's driving safely or look at that old lady or look at that dog. Or I didn't know that new restaurant was there. Look at all the stories. And if you're in your office or your home, look at all the stories you've been telling yourself in the last 10 15 minutes or so.
So let's look at some stories that are debilitating. And you've heard me talk about these. Because again many of you are here and many of you are entrepreneurs or you are in business. So let's look at these stories that you've learned from your father or your mother and they learned from their father or their mother. And I don't know, I mean I cannot research this. I believe that one of the reasons so many people in the United States and of course across the world. I believe that one reason so many people have struggles with money is because my parents, I'm 54, but my parents their parents grew up in the Great Depression. And their parents learned about my grandfather used to preach to me about that. About the soup lines and you know you're lucky if you have a job and you know what, things aren't easy for people. Life is hard. Well, you know what. These are all things that my grandfather grandfathers taught my mother and my father. And these are all things they passed to me. You know and so I'm asking you to look at your stories what are your stories about... All right. This is the big one- You got to work hard. That is such a load of crap. I see many people that become very, very wealthy by not working hard. So what are your stories? Do you believe that you have to work hard to make a lot of money? Actually quite the contrary.
You know for what I do for a living which is transformation and in my past history I taught subconscious persuasion and influence. Both fields and especially transformation, I love what I do. I actually invest hours like creating this podcast for you and doing live coaching and training and everything else. I do not work hard. I do not work hard. I invest my time but there is no as a matter of fact I don't even work. And I do extremely well financially. When I say I don't even work I mean "This is not work for me". This is a labor of love. Because I love what I do. I want to share with you that whatever your stories are, that will be your experience of life. So if your story and I heard these all growing up and you'll hear a lot of us in this podcast because this is one of the biggest challenges for most people in this country. If you heard that money's hard to come by as I just alluded to. That's not true. It's a story but that's going to be your life experience until you create a new story. So let's look at your stories. I want you to look at your life right now. I want you to look at your home. That's your story about what you air quote can afford. Look at your car. Do you drive a Porsche, Mercedes, BMW, Jaguar, Bentley, Tesla? You drive an old beat up car? What is your story about your car?
Look at your bank account. Every bit of this is a story. And these stories as we talked about in episode number two come from your identity. That's why... And we will get there in time. I will talk about how to change the identity in-depth with subconscious reprogramming. We'll get there a little later on. Whatever you have in your physical world is a reflection of your identity and then you tell yourself a story about the identity. Then what you do is you go into the broken record and you tell yourself the story over, and over, and over, and over again. Remember this guy that I was coaching, he was a real estate agent in Pasadena California who is a one to one client. Now, i'm gonna tell you guys obviously these are going to tell you his exact words that he told me. So this story has nothing to do with me or my interpretations or my judgments or any of that. I'm going to recount to you our exact conversation. He said to me he said you know Jim and he hired me because he just wasn't doing as well as what he could do. And you know what I think this might resonate with a lot of you guys. He's said to me he goes you know I don't understand. I've got a college education, I live in Pasadena California, I'm educated, I work at a great place he was a real estate agent. And he goes but I'm just not making the money like other people are. I dug a little deeper and I also know the people that owned the real estate office that he worked at, I coached them as well, both husband and wife. Now, here's where it gets to his verbiage and his interpretations of the world. He went into you know what. He goes these are his words he said you know what. He goes like the husband and wife. I'm not going to mention their names that on the office. He goes they're white and they're old school Pasadena and they're rich. This is exactly what he said. He said I am the poor Mexican boy from the other side of the tracks. Think about that. I am the poor Mexican boy from the other side of the tracks.
So he was put into a wealthy environment and that's where his body was and that's where he was physically. But his identity and his story was that he was that he was the poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks. Therefore his story was matriculating into his life. So I'm not sure that may or may not apply to you but it will apply to you in some way. Were you the kid that for example wasn't a part of the popular crowd? Were you from the other side of the tracks? You know I don't know your story. But I think that brings it home and I want you to fully get that whatever stories you have, no matter where you are, no matter what opportunity you have in front of you, you will always live from your stories. Obviously we're talking about Change in this podcast. So let me ask you this, what are your stories about change? See most people believe that change... they believe that change is hard to make. Or they believe that change is long and arduous. And if that is your story, that's going to be your experience of life. The reality is is that you and any of anyone any of us can change. Just like that. We can change in a heartbeat, literally. Whatever you're doing right now you can stand up. You can sit down, you can turn right. You can turn left. You can go front margin, go backwards. You can turn off this podcast. You can listen to this podcast. You can do whatever you want right now. And that demonstrates your ability to change your mind. And very easily and very quickly. Even the brain can be one trial learner.
For example you don't have to touch a hot stove twice and say well you know what that was hot. Should I touch that again? No. You actually, you learned by one trial by touching. We can change very quickly but most people believe that change is hard. Therefore because that is their story. Change is long and hard for them. When it comes to stories also what are your contextual stories? Now what I mean by that is I had a client one time. And he said to me he said Jim no matter what I do, I can not lose weight. If you've been trying to work out any variation of words. Go to your ideal weight, release weight, drop weight, lose weight, diet whatever. Those are just actually you know those that your own vernacular. But I'm talking about you know the act of losing weight. However you want to call it or whatever you want to call it. And he said Jim this was his contextual story no matter what I do, I cannot lose weight. What I want you to notice is what that meant was is if that was his contextual story which it was, any other story like I should try hypnosis, I should get a nutritionist, I should hire a trainer, I can go to the gym, I can do this, I can do that. I can walk in the morning. I can run. I can do cardio. I can do infrared sauna. Any of those other stories which he tried a lot of that stuff were negated by the contextual story that no matter what I do I'm never going to be able to lose weight.
So what I'm sharing with you right now. What are your Contextual Stories about all the major areas in your life? Because if you're a contextual story is no matter what I do I can't make money. No matter what I do I can't lose weight. No matter what I try, nothing works. There are no good men or women in the world. If those are your contextual stories, every life experience will be actually clouded and influenced by those contextual stories. There is something that my brother in law said to me many years ago as I've mentioned or I think I mentioned earlier and if not I will later. My brother in law is a shaman and which are healers which we'll talk about that later. And he said to me and this like applies to my cousin, he said that When the warrior stops talking, even the craziest of task becomes possible. What I want you to recognize is that you look in the mirror, you talk yourself in and out of everything in your life simply by talking to yourself. So I've got some questions for you and then we're going to wrap up this episode. First question. Let's say that you have a story about money and sales and selling. And your story is I don't want to be perceived as a cheesy selling professional. What does that story cost you? I want you to look at that for a second. What does that story cost you?
Now, let me give you an example here. Most people never think about it this way. Let's say that you make one hundred thousand dollars a year. And you do that despite having the story that people think selling professionals are cheesy. So what if you didn't have that story that people think selling professionals are cheesy? Which I don't think that and I used to teach sales and persuasion and influence. A lot of people don't think that because everything in the world is bought and sold. You're listening to me on some device right now whether it be a computer or a phone that was bought and sold to you. Everything is sales. But let's say for example that a person holds the belief that I don't want to be perceived as cheesy and selling professionals or cheesy. And they make 100 hundred grand a year. How much would they make if they didn't have that story? And let me make this really simple. Let's say they make one hundred thousand a year with that story. And if they didn't have that story, they now make 200,000. Less just double at 200,000 a year. Now, let's say this person is in sales for another 20 years. How much money has that story cost that person? So instead of making two million over the course of 20 years, they would have made four million. And that's not even including compounding it and investing it and everything else. Your story is when it comes to business, your stories cost you millions, and millions, and millions of dollars by holding stories that do not work for you.
All right. I've got a couple of more questions for you. Another question would be this. What story would someone have who ALREADY has what I want? What story would someone have who ALREADY has what I want? Because see wherever you are right now, you're living from that story. And wherever they are, they are living from their stories. And we're going to talk about this more in our time together. But plain and simple, when we create our stories it doesn't matter the story that you create. Because see the unconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imagined. Whatever story that you tell yourself over, and over, and over again, you come to believe. It doesn't even matter if it's "not true" or you don't believe it. That's why for example someone can tell a lie. And no one ever says You know what I'm going to tell a lie. And on the ninth time that I tell that lie, i'm gonna believe it. No, they just tell a lie over, and over, and over. And because the unconscious mind works on repetition, they tell the lie. The unconscious mind hears it. And then what happens is because they've told a lie several times. The unconscious mind starts to believe it. And now it's true for the person whereas the person originally knew that it was a lie. And we'll talk about more about this later when we get in the subconscious reprogramming. But the final take away and then I've got some quite another question for you... Is everything in your life is a story. If you do not have what you think that you want, there is some story preventing that. And if you do want it, simply change the story.
So in every episode there's what I call a TRANSFORMATIONAL TAKEAWAY. And it's a question. In this episode the transformational take away is this question you may want to write this down. And you've heard me say before if you're driving well then wait for it you know wait for later. OK here are two questions that I want you to take from this episode:. What experience of life do I want? That's your first question, what experience of life do I want? And then the next question is this:. What story will create that for me? What experience of life do I want and what story will create that for me? OK. So, that wraps up this episode on Stories and what are the stories of your life. Stay tuned and keep listening because in the next episode you're going to learn about the Biology of Fear. Yep. I didn't say the psychology. I said the biology of fear and how your brain keeps you trapped. See. Fear is not conscious. And what I mean by that is no one ever says you know what hey it's 3:00 p.m. And let me get into a little bit of fear. Fear comes from your unconscious paradigms and it comes from your brain. And in the next episode, I'm gonna show you as a simple process to disassociate you from your fear. And I'm gonna show you how to eliminate the fear from your life. Okay. Thanks for listening.
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