EPISODE 251: “You, Me And Be in 2023”
Want more in life? If so, pay special attention to the next several episodes because they are all going to be about your identity in 2023 and that’s what this episode is titled: You Me and Be in 2023.
Your identity is your learned “blueprint” that determines what you think and don’t think about all aspects of your life.
I often tell my students in my transformational coaching program, your identity is your destiny.
The truth is this…what you have in your life is a 100% reflection of your subconscious identity and most people work backward….they try to create more, better, and different things in life without ever fully realizing they must change at the identity level FIRST.
Want more in life? If so, pay special attention to the next several episodes because they are all going to be about your identity in 2023 and that’s what this episode is titled: You Me and Be in 2023.
In this week’s episode, I’m going to share three things:
1) How your self-image was indoctrinated.
2) Why we keep recreating your prison over and over
3) The foundational step to start shifting your subconscious identity.
You can never outperform your self-image. You cannot be what you are not. You cannot do what you are not. Want more in life? Then, be more at your subconscious level.
This series can be life-changing for you, make sure you listen to them all!
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You’re listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is titled You, Me and Be in 2023. I often tell my students, you know, the ones that are in my Transformational Coaching Program. That your identity is your destiny. Your identity literally is a reflection of how you’re BEing in life and how you’re BEing in life will determine what you do and what you do will determine what you create in life. And the face value people are like, yep. Jim, you know, Jim, which makes perfect sense. And the way that you explain it, but yet, you know, as humans. I’ve been there myself you know, as well. Many people go right back in the role patterns again, and disregard what I say when I say it. And they disregard many times what I’m going to share with you in this episode. You must change the way that you’re BEing, meaning your emotional states and your self-image. To create what it is that you want to quit create in 2023. The truth is this what you have in your life right now? Whether it be a Lamborghini in the garage. Or an old beat up 1974 Pinto in the garage. That’s all you’re going to afford. Maybe. It doesn’t matter. The point is whatever you have in your life now. And in many cases, the situations and instances with your health and relationships.
Are all a reflection of you on the inside. They’re all a reflection of your subconscious identity. Which is why this podcast has titled what it’s titled, Transform your Life from the Inside Out. Many people still actually they get it they think they get it. But they’re still trying to transform their life from the outside in, and then wondering why they’re struggling. If you’ve been listening for any amount of time and you’re still struggling with whatever it was when you started listening to my podcast, maybe a year ago, maybe six months ago, maybe two years ago. If you’re still struggling with money or health or relationships like you were at least six months ago. Guess what? You’re struggling because you’re wanting something on the outside, but yet you were not that and your subconscious identity.
So, if you want to BE more so you can DO more so you can HAVE more in your life. Then pay special attention to the next several episodes. cause they’re all going to be about your identity in 2023, which is why this podcast episode is titled You, Me and BE in 2023. Because it’s going to take both of us to make it happen, because if you could already make it happen and you knew how you would’ve already done it. And the fact that you haven’t done it means that either you do not know how, or you’re not digging deeper into what I’m giving you here. Doesn’t matter. You are where you are right now. The point is this, I want to help you BE more, DO more and HAVE more in 2023. Keep listening.
Hi, I’m Jim Fortin, and you’re about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you’re going to find no rah-rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom, all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you’ve never thought possible. If you’re wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life and this podcast is for you. Because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you I’m glad you’re here.
This episode is about Transforming your Life from the Inside Out and that starts with your Subconscious Identity that is on the inside of you. There’s a phrase that I said to myself many years ago, and it’s something that I often remind myself about even today. I still think about this phrase. That phrase is this. “If I don’t have it on the outside, it’s because I do not first have it on the inside”. Anything that I want to create in life. I must first create from the inside out, because even if I do by small chance, create something haphazardly or it happens if I don’t have that self-identity on the inside, I’m not going to be able to sustain it. This is why people won a lottery and a couple of years later, they’re broke. Because they’re poor on the inside. And what happens as a result of that their unconscious mind has them lose all the money. Why? Because in their self-image their broke.
Now, if you’ve listened for any amount of time, you probably have heard me say this before as well. And that is, you probably have heard a fair amount of what I’m going to say in this episode. And you might be thinking, Jim, come on, get a different message, you know, share something else, say something else. But the reality is many people will say, Jim, I already know what you’re talking about, yet they’re broke. They can’t sustain a relationship, or they haven’t healed themselves in quite some time. So yes, you may have heard the information. But you don’t know it. And you don’t know it until you can live it and demonstrate it. And when you can live what’s in this episode and demonstrate it. That’s when you have literally to the degree that you want changed your Subconscious Identity to match what it is that you want to create in your external life. Your identity is basically a blueprint. It’s a blueprint that you built in your head society, your parents, your family built it in your head when you were a kid. You probably heard me say before you might’ve heard the quote before I believe it was Aristotle who said, give me a child until the age of eight and I will own him for a lifetime.
What that means is I’m not going to go into the brain-based aspects of it right now. I do on other episodes. But what that means is what you learn as a small kid and a great way affects the adults you become. The thing about your subconscious identity it’s really simple. And that your subconscious identity is like a cell phone app running in the background, you know, right now, if you’re listening on your phone, you’re listening to me. What you’re not paying attention to is that your battery is running in the background, which is powering your phone. But yet you pay no attention to it. And the battery actually is keeping everything else running. And that’s the same with us your subconscious mind is always metaphorically running your blueprints, your, your mental images, your self-image is always air quote, running in the background driving all of your behaviors.
Let’s look at some really simple scenarios here. Some questions for you. Do you like liver and onions? Would your skinny dip in front of 20 strangers? Would your skinny dip in front of 20 people that you knew. Would you get a Mohawk haircut. Would you color your hair purple. Would you skydive? Would you spend $50,000 that you don’t currently have in your bank, knowing that you could make it up within 30 days? Now, all of these are really basic examples, but the reason I give you these. How did you answer these? Let’s say the Mohawk one, for example, you know what you answered based upon yourself image. Because if you’re the kind of person who would get a Mohawk and your identity. Yes, you would get a Mohawk and you might’ve even had one. But if in your, in your identity and your self-image, you’re not the kind of person who would get a Mohawk then guess what? It’s an automatic, I mean, literally automatic brain-based subconscious. Hell no, I wouldn’t get a Mohawk.
Same thing of liver and onions. If I brought a plate up to you and put it right down in front of you and said, Hey, here’s lunch. You’re going to look at that. And you’re going to say one of three things. You’re going to say, oh my gosh. Wow liver and onions. I love it. You’re going to say, well, I don’t know maybe, or you’re going to say what I would say hell no, get that away from me. The point is us. When you were presented with the liver and onions, you didn’t consciously have to go into analysis about whether or not you liked liver and onions. You’ve already learned this at some point in your past, subconsciously. And that program is playing out. So anytime that you’re presented with liver and onions, guess what the decision has already been made for you?
The same thing comes with your relationships, your health, your money, what you will do, what you won’t do, where you will go, what you won’t go, where you won’t go is all determined by your subconscious blueprint. If you’re not creating what you want in your external world, plain and simple, you don’t have the blueprint to create it. Your entire life, every single aspect of it. You respond to your life unconsciously based upon the blueprint. And as I just said, if you want different things in life, and you’re not getting it. And you keep thinking you desire it, which has left brain. You’ve got to change the blueprint. There’s no other way around it. You’ve got to change the blueprint relative to what it is that you want to create in life. Now here’s the big challenge for a lot of us. I know that you are listening right now are probably thinking, okay. Yeah, Jim, I get it. But the bigger, you know, the bigger place to look at here is how many times have you tried to change in the past and you have failed. The reason you failed it’s because you’ve tried to change your behavior, but guess what? The blueprint, the programming is working against the behavior, pulling you right back into the old behavior. Again. Your subconscious paradigms, your subconscious identity, literally. Literally is a prison for you. You’re going to have it your entire life.
But the question is this, how big do you want to make that air quote prison? Do you want to make it big enough to hold a billion dollars in 10 Ferrari’s. And do you want to make it big enough to hold perfect health and perfect or great relationships? Or do you want to make it big enough? To barely pay your rent. I was talking to a guy today; I went to the juice shop and there’s a kid that works there. We were chatting and he was lamenting about his rent increase. I live in a very expensive town. I live in Sedona, Arizona. And he said that he found that apartment for $900 per month, but it was only one room. Now. As I think about that I’m sitting in my home right now. It’s five and a half thousand square feet. And literally it’s a luxury home. It’s not 900 a month. I’ll tell you that. My whole point is where I live and my environment and where he lives in his environment our reflections in the outside world of our internal environments, please let that soak in. Your external world is a reflection of your internal environment. Like I said a bit ago, if you don’t have it on the outside, meaning your environment, then you do not yet have it on the inside, which means your internal environment and your subconscious identity.
And this week’s episode, I’m going to share three things very quickly. This episode is basically a primer to get you ready for the next several episodes. But I’m going to talk about how your self-image was indoctrinated. Yep, that’s the word I choose. You have become indoctrinated to be who you are today. Number two is why we keep repeating the same old patterns over and over and over again. Why we stay in that? You know that mental prison cell over and over and over. Despite the fact that we say, I don’t want that, I want more in life. And then I’m going to start talking about the foundational step to start shifting your subconscious identity.
Okay. So, the first place we’re going to look is how was your self-image created? I used the word just a couple of minutes ago, the word indoctrinated, how were you indoctrinated? Well, plain and simple. You were indoctrinated by your environment, your parents and your socialization. So, what I want you to do right now, is think back to when you were in kindergarten. Early grammar school. Now what I want you to think back to take your time here what stories did you hear about yourself? What stories did you hear in your house? What stories did your father always say? What stories did your mother always talk about and repeat. Whatever these stories are these become your learning, your indoctrination. Y because you’ve heard it over and over and over again. And it becomes part of, for lack of better words, your brain based psychological operating system, these stories, this parenting, this environment. Becomes who you are at a core level.
And really what you want to do is you’re doing this. And as you’re listening to me, pay attention. Pay attention to the things you heard your parents say. You know, and then you also want to look at, let me back up pay attention to things you heard your parents say. Both of my parents were always about lack. My dad was definitely, always, never enough money. Never enough. Can’t afford. Can’t afford. Can’t afford. Can’t afford. Can’t afford. As a result, I grew up poor because that was his programming and that’s what he perpetuated and taught me and my brother. My brother today is in his early fifties and still dead broke on the opposite because I started working on myself back in the late 1980’s. I’m like, I’m not going to live that life anymore that I grew up with. My brother still lives in because he didn’t change.
So, my dad was always about lack, lack, lack. My mom was always about she was always about what are people gonna think? What are people gonna think we have to hold up? You know? Blah, blah, blah. We have to look a certain way, even though we didn’t have any money. But we had to be perceived a certain way and the way for my parents that they wanted us to be perceived was smart kids. Good kids. Well behaved kids and our parents as a result of that, always put us in that line. Yeah, well, they lined us up that kind of way in life. Now, let me share something else and think about your parents. My mom was very sweet very kind and very loving overall, but she was also very firm. So, she always said things like, and I remember this as a kid. You kids might not love me, but you will respect me. So, she thought one of the ways to parent was maybe taking an authoritarian approach. Now my dad was usually passive earlier on in life. And then later he became more authoritarian, and he became literally he wasn’t a mental support system. Honestly, I don’t think I can remember a single episode.
And all of my life before college, where my dad ever gave me a thumbs up, my dad ever said, hey, you know, you did a great job. I’m proud of you. I never got any mental reinforcement from my father. Even when I graduated from college, I was already estranged from my father. I put myself through college, a private school, two degrees in four years, or actually a double major. Which is a candidate two degrees in four years. A good grade point average. I paid for myself. I worked my way through college. And I ran into my dad. And my mom was there when I ran into him. And my mother said, well, aren’t you going to congratulate your son? He graduated from college. My dad looked at me and goes, oh, you graduated. Huh? That was the end of it. And that’s the kind that, or the lack of support that I had from my father. So as a result of that, what do you think that I learned. Now, let me back up here. And I want you to look at your own life as well. Okay. As I’m talking about my life, because my life is my life and your life is your life, but I just want you to think about this okay.
So, as I’m talking about my parents. My parents also knew that they didn’t have a lot and they wanted their kids to have more, but the way they wanted us to have more is through academics. Through achievement through awards, through recognition, though, you know, running for school offices and all these kinds of things that we did. And I recognized as a kid that if I did all that, and I did a lot as a kid, very, very community, even at a state level national level and organizations that I was in. I recognized a way for me to get attention from my, you know, from my parents is to be an achiever, to be a dutiful achiever. And if I achieve, guess what I am there for good. And if I’m there for a good that I’m approved of, and if I’m approved of that, I’m loved. So, I learned from a very early age that I had to be driven. And even this day, honestly, I’m just telling you candidly. It’s a stretch for me not to be driven. I mean, my podcast and the first three years went to like a million downloads a year. My programs I built a company I have right now into a multi-million dollar, millions of dollars in four years. And they did many things prior to that. Why? Because I see myself at an identity level as a driven person.
So, you look at your external life, how do you see yourself? And again, it doesn’t matter where you are today. What matters is what we do to create something different for you tomorrow, because I want you to have a better quality of life. I want you, if you want to have a better experience of life. So back to you. Think about. Think about your earliest analytical cogent memories. And think about how your parents treated you. Where they are authoritarian. Were they stern? Where they relaxed, where they are demanding. Where they you’re never doing good enough. Were they all about, you’re not enough. Were they all about people are gonna judge you, what are they going to think? What are they gonna think? What are they going to think?
Another way to look at this is. How were your parents and their own interaction and own engagement? My parents, as I remember even around the ages of 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, when I became aware of these things in life. My parents were very playful with each other. So as a result, I learned that healthy relationships at least emotionally, sexually, physically, whatever. Our healthy and playful. And that’s the kind of relationship I have today. I know other people that have what I would call a relationship. That’s kind of like miserable. I don’t, I don’t want that kind of relationship. They don’t connect. They don’t talk. They don’t. They don’t, I guess a lack of better words. They don’t connect with each other. But then what we have to look at is what did we learn by watching our parents? I used to watch my parents be very playful. I remember again, as 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 years old. So, what I learned is, hey, that is the way to be.
So, however you’re being right now in life is in some way affected by a way you learn to be, I’ll give you some examples of that in just a minute. Actually, let me give you an example of that now. Is, I remember a friend of mine in New York city. You know, many times apartments are small. I walked into his apartment the first time and he had this massive 60-inch TV. I’m like, dude, what are you doing? I mean, your apartment is the size of a shoe box. Your TV takes up an entire wall. What’s up with that. And I mean, we just kept being kind of playful. And he said, well, I grew up and I was never allowed to watch TV. And I decided when I was an adult, guess what? I was going to buy the biggest TV that I could afford. Why? Because I didn’t have one as a kid. So, I grew up rule after rule, after rule, after rule, I had to live by the rules. This day and age I hate rules. I don’t like rules. I rebel against rules. I will break every rule that I can, as long as it doesn’t help. Sorry, long as it doesn’t hurt someone else. I’m very, that’s. One of my values is to not hurt other people and to lead people better than what I found them.
But when it comes to rules, they become very suffocating for me. So as a result, which has played out in my personality today, and in some ways played well into the podcast. I am a cage rattler. I love to rattle the cage. I love to get people’s attention to wake them up to, hey, pay attention to what I’m sharing with you. Because you learn shit backwards, you learned it the wrong way. Let’s learn the right way. And I have no problems rattling cages, and actually it excites me, and I like it. Now, I don’t know why I am that way psychologically, but I would assume because I was so. I was so muzzled as a kid. Now I get the rebel very quick story in college. I was a binge drinker wine. It dawned on me years later, I binge drank in college. The reason why is because I could, there was no one controlling me and telling me what I could do and what I couldn’t do. And so, like a lot of kids in college, I drank a lot and partied a lot and everything else, and I still did well because again, that’s part of my operating system I had to do well. I had to make good grades, so I did make good grades. But candidly, I partied my ass off in college.
So, your systems as I was just alluding to your subconscious identity. Doesn’t just play out on one way a play out on a multitude of ways based upon the many things that you learned subconsciously as a child. So, before I move on here, think about. How did your parents make you feel? When you were, when you can consciously remember. 6 7, 8, 9, 10 years old. How did you feel around them? Were you comfortable? Was it playful at home where they loving? Were they supportive? Were they, you know, critical or they demanding where they are authoritarian? How did your parents manage the household? Because that’s what you’ve learned about life. And you probably hold a lot of that in one way or the rebellion against it or living in that prison at the subconscious level. One more thing here. Many of you can relate to. Is, I remember in third grade I got called to the principal’s office. And I thought, oh my gosh. What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? What did I all the way to the principal’s office? You know, what did I do wrong? I, oh my gosh. I must have messed up.
While I was called because I got an award and the principal wanted to tell me about it, but notice where I went, which I think a lot of you can relate to. I had always learned from my parents. It was never good enough and I did something wrong. And that was indoctrinated. So that was the filter of the self-image. So that I, that I saw the world through. Okay. Now why, why do we repeat our indoctrination and our self-image over and over and over again? You know, why did we stay broke? Why did we stay in ill health? How can we go from relationship to relationship, to relationship? And we say, I don’t want that anymore. I’m tired of that. But I keep doing it. Well, again, self-image. Let me share a story here of a friend of mine. His name is Brett. We have been friends for a lot of years and not talk to him in a few years. But he was a, it was a model, a male model in New York city. And there are a lot of models in New York city. And he actually is the model on the last Versace hardcover called rock and royalty.
And Brett was one, one of my best buddies in New York city. And he asked me one time. He said, Jim, I don’t understand why. I had a modeling assignment a couple of days ago that would have paid me $10,000. And I just didn’t go. Why am I missing modeling assignments? I’m getting modeling work. I’m lucky. I’m getting the work people are coming to me. And I just, for some reason, flake out and I don’t go, and I don’t show up why. Now in that moment, many years ago, 20 years ago, I didn’t have an answer. But a couple of years later, I was thinking about it. And I remember him telling me that I grew up poor and he only had three shirts when he was a sophomore in high school and he had to wash them, you know, before he wore it again, is what he told me.
But he goes, kids used to make fun of me because I only had three shirts. We were that poor. Boom. It clicked for me in that moment. And a subconscious identity he learned to be poor. He learned to be without money. Therefore, in the external world. Hey, there’s $10,000 a day modeling assignment comes to you. That’s at the external world level, but at the identity level, poor, poor, poor, therefore he would subconsciously, it would be decided his subconscious mind would drive. This is that he would miss the modeling assignment. Why? Because making $10,000 a day is not consistent with a self-image of being the poor kid only having three shirts. Another friend of mine who is extremely well-known in internet marketing, without a doubt is one of the most well-known people in the internet marketing industry. And all of his friends everyone that he knows that he’s, you know, it was around on a consistent basis or all multi-millionaires and one day I’m like, dude, you’re probably the most recognized person in the industry. How come you struggle with money so badly.
What do you think that answer is? And he kind of emote and thought about her for a while. And I said, the answer is, this because I’ve heard you say it. You’re still the poor little boy from the wrong sides of the crack who came from a Podunk town. So, in your physical environment and your physical world, you’ve got all these connections that should literally have you having a net worth of like $10 million or more yet you’re struggling with money. Your self-image literally, as I used earlier, the word prison. You know, the way I look at it, it is a prison, but what matters because you’re always going to have it. So, it’s going to be a prison in that way. But the reality is how big are you going to make that prison? Are you going to eat ham sandwiches in prison or are you going to eat caviar and drive a Ferrari in prison? It’s entirely up to you. But the reason we repeat the reason you repeat what you do. It’s not psychological it’s brain-based it’s neurological. And the reason why is a part of your brain works from, from a concept called predictability and identity verification.
Now predictability is hardwired into the brain. And when you knew something’s predictable, guess what? You might not like it, but you know, it’s predictable. This is why women stay in abusive relationships. Because if they leave, it’s not predictable, they might think it’s going to get better. They’re not sure, but you know what. As long as they stay, they still have a roof over their head, even though they’re being abused. Now there was a study I read many years ago about this. And it was, it was a study with chimpanzees. And what they did is they would put like behind a piece of cardboard banana. And that remove the cardboard and the monkey could see the banana and have the banana. So, they conditioned, they indoctrinated the monkeys to believe that anytime there was something behind the cardboard, it was a banana.
And then one time they took the banana away and they put lettuce and they pulled the cardboard away and the monkeys saw the lettuce. And basically, the monkeys went ape shit. They wanted the banana. They were conditioned. It was predictable the banana was going to be there. Now, why do we have this in the brain? The reason why it’s a vestige of our evolution. Many thousands of years ago when we had to go out and we had to gather, and we had to hunt. You wanted to know if you’re going to go hunting for a tiger for dinner, how predictable it’s going to be when you leave your cage. So, predictability operates in the brain and it’s a survival mechanism to keep you alive and to keep you safe. But yet we’re not out hunting for tight Weldon. Whatever anymore. We’re not out hunting for survival for the most part. But that part of the brain still operates in that way. So, you know, people will say, I can’t release weight. I can’t make money. All these kinds of things. And they can’t break the cycle. The reason they have a challenge breaking the cycle is because they don’t know what you’re learning here. But they haven’t recognized is that the brain wants to keep the cycle exactly as it is, because that is predictable also its identity verification, meaning as long as you’re under predictability and you know, the cycle, you can always verify your identity because your identity is always in the cycle.
Meaning, you always have no money. You always have no money. You always have no money. So therefore, you can predict what’s going to happen tomorrow because you already know. You already have no money and you’re the kind of person who already has no money. Anyway, that’s why that happens in the brain identity, verification and predictability. So, it’s not you are doing that because of your analytical part of your brain. The analytical part of your thinking is like, I deserve success. I deserve. You know, wellness, I deserve a partner, whatever it is that you want. But your brain waving its finger goes no. Well, a part of your brain goes, no, no, no, no, no. No, that’s not in your self-image. So, what we’re going to do is going to keep your behaviors consistent with whatever it is that creates your external environment. Meaning your physical world around you. Number three. Okay is the way to get out of this and what I have found. And again, I’ve been in this field 30 years it applies to me as well, many years ago.
The reason. Many people do not have more in life. Despite claiming they want more in life saying they want more in life. The reason they don’t have more is because they don’t feel worthy of it. Now women will get this quicker than men. Sorry, I’m just playing the plunge telling you. I mean, I worked with. With both men and women in. I’m just telling you. Is that women will tend to listen to this a little more, but when you talk to a man about self-esteem and in particular self-love, That’s not a guy phrase. That’s not the way that guys talk about. Dude, you got to love yourself, guys. Don’t get into that. It’s not manly. It’s not masculine. And women are like, they get it. There are several places I want to go here that I’m not that I could give you guys a lot of examples. My whole point right here is this. You have to learn to value yourself and I can speak with a little bit of authority on that subject.
I don’t know how long you’ve listened to the podcast, but I’ve talked before. About the fact that I’m gay. Now I grew up in the 80’s and it was a different world back then. I was born in the 60’s. So, I guess I grew up in the 70’s and no grip in the 70’s. And it was a whole different world back then. I mean, no one ever talked about being gay. I wasn’t exposed to it. I lived in a small town. It was not talked about. And people really did not start talking about it and tell us until the 80’s with Phil Donahue and Oprah. And they started bringing human sexuality out into the mainstream and public awareness. And then definitely. You know, kids now for the most part, many kids don’t have a problem coming out. Why? Because it’s part of mainstream society and it’s talked about, and there’s awareness about it and there’s education about it. But I grew up in a fundamental Christian household. So, what do you think I learned about me growing up on a fundamental Christian household. I learned that by listening, my parents never discussing it with them. But listening to the way that they talked. I listened that and I heard. I was bad. And I was not good, and I was against God, and I was going to go to hell and all these kinds of things that my parents staunchly, especially my mother believed. And I was indoctrinated with that.
So, let’s go back here to me. What do you think being gay that I was conditioned with, I was conditioned to not like myself. And I could never put that in the words for years. I just knew that I really didn’t care a whole lot about myself. And I learned. That the most important thing that we can do is value ourselves. Find and discover or self-worth and love ourselves. What I’ve also learned. Is based upon something had happened to me with my brother-in-law Don Xavier, the shaman. He, and I were talking one time and he said, okay. Yeah, you’re out. But, you know, what you are being out and not in the closet. Doesn’t mean that you love yourself. Now you’re out. That’s the first step you have to learn to love and accept yourself. And I’ve learned by observing people and observing myself. The reason that you abuse yourself, whether it be weight or drugs or alcohol or whatever it might be for the most part, generally speaking, but I’ve seen a lot of it. And especially in the gay community.
The reason and transgender community, the reason that many people do not treat themselves well is because they do not have value for themselves. We have to value ourselves. And I learned for me. The first step in valuing myself. And I’m going to share this with you. This is a powerful step in transformation. And transforming your identity so you can create more in life. One of the first steps is actually accepting yourself. Accepting who and what you are no matter what it is. Because make no mistake. Everyone has something they don’t love in their life. It could be addictions. It could be porn, it could be gambling at one time, it could be spending money. There’s a myriad of things that humans get into. Not a big deal to me. I look at it and I’m just like, hey, that’s what humans do. We all have our things we’re getting into. We’re all, we all have our metaphorical crosses to bear. So, you’re cross the bear many times is feeling good enough feeling worthy, feeling like you’re important enough to speak up. Now here’s the key that I want to share with you. Is that loving yourself? Is the key to money health and relationships.
By the way. You can go to my site, jimfortin.com and download my love yourself program there. My self-love program that I’ve created for you guys. And basically, it’s all about in greater detail. About loving yourself, because if you don’t love yourself and you don’t value yourself, how then can you attract. You know, how do you have the self-worth, the charge, what you want to charge in business? Or to ask for what you think you’re worth. If you’re working a job, if you don’t value yourself, then you don’t value your value and you won’t ask the world to value your value financially. If you don’t love yourself. Who is the hell going to want to be in a relationship with you? Accept someone who also doesn’t love themselves. Which, by the way we always attract, which I’ll explain later. We attract compatible subconscious identities and do our life to be in relationship with I’ll explain that on another episode.
But when it comes to love, many of us think we want love, but we have to love ourselves first because if you hate yourself, you can’t give what you don’t have. And if you don’t have love for yourself, you can’t give it to someone else. Someone else who really wants, it’s not going to be in relationship with you because guess what? They want someone who values them, you get passed over therefore you’re alone, or you don’t get passed over. You attract someone who also doesn’t value themselves. Guess what? Now you’ve got two people in a relationship that are hating on themselves and hating on each other. Health, you don’t take care of yourself. We don’t destroy what we love. And if you love yourself, you love your body. You’re not even though you’re not your body, but I’m just, that’s an example because you’re the, the infinite soul in the body.
But, you know, what, if you’re destroying your body? That’s a self-worth issue. It’s habitual and brain-based, but it’s also a self-worth issue. So, questions for today. Okay. If you find yourself desiring something. And you just can’t create it. You try, you think you want your bag. You hope you play you, you know, you, you, you pray, you plead. You maybe take some action. But you keep falling short. Ask yourself because it’s all subconscious. What is stopping me. What inside of me? What identity. What identity to I learn that stopping me from creating what I want. Also ask yourself. Who were, how must I be different to create the outcome that I want? Remember I’ve said it many times before. I’m saying it again. If you don’t have it on the inside in terms of yourself. You know, your self-image. You’re not going to have it on the outside. So, start asking yourself better questions. What ways must I be on the inside? What ways must I feel on the inside? And when you stop, and you ask yourself these questions. So, you’re not going to get clarity on anything. If you don’t ask the question, you have to start asking yourself these questions and you have to start exploring.
Now candidly I can be, and I will be your guide. But you know what? There’s a phrase that I heard, you know, many years ago from my brother-in-law. And he said to me, he goes, I can’t eat for you. Meaning I can only feed myself. I have to eat for me you when it comes to recrafting your you know, your subconscious identity I can lead you. But I can’t do it for you. You know, to give you a, a thought here. In my current Transformational Coaching Program, which is coming up in a few months, the 14-week live program. I had somebody in the program that was mad at me when I said I will bust my ass, the coaches, and I, we will bend over backwards. To help you create an amazingly different life in the next 14 weeks, but I will not do the work for you. I will not carry you up the hill. I will lead you up to hill, but I will not carry you up the hill. Now, this person took a lot of offense to this. And actually, started criticizing. Criticizing me and my own group, which that’s the first time that’s ever happened in that program. And the way that I looked at it is okay.
How did they take that? How did they hear that? How would they want someone to enable them? Which is what, which is what it seems like they’re asking for. Where did they learn that in their own self-image? So, you all day long. The world is reflecting back at you through your self-image. People make you mad and traffic people make you mad, standing in line. People make you mad at the post office. People, you know, cause you to be sad here, by the way, nobody can make you be anything, but they trigger that in you. Okay. But you’re having all these experiences in the world, which are simply a bounce-back reflection of yourself image from the physical world outside of you. So. Next week is about we’re going to dig into. We’ve given you a thorough grounding here. Or a pretty thorough grounding. Next week, we’re going to, we’re going to start digging into. Who am I. Now you are your identity. You are your identity? But. What is that identity? And who are you, which is what we dig into in the next episode.
Your transformational takeaway from this episode is this. Let this sink in you can never outperform yourself image and your subconscious identity. You cannot BE what you are not. And you cannot DO what you are not. If you want more in life. Then you must BE more so you can DO more so you can HAVE more. There’s no other way around that. Remember what I said. You cannot be what you are not. And what that means is, is you cannot be rich in your physical world. If you’re a first not rich in your mental world, you cannot be healthy in your body. If your first not healthy in your mind. You cannot be an, a good relationship, a great relationship, a loving relationship. Unless you were first that in your mind, why. Because it’s easy to do what you are if you’re a smoker, it’s easy to smoke as an example. And here’s the thing. It’s hard to do what you are not. And if you’re not as an example, if you’re not wealthy and your external world. It’s hard to be that no matter what you do, because you’re not first that in your mind, Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you over on the next episode. Bye-bye.
Okay. So, I don’t know if this was your first episode or your 200. Regardless, I’m inviting you to join me and join the conversation inside my private podcast Facebook community. And the community, we dive deeper on the topics that I cover here on the podcast. And it’s a place for you to share your realizations. And really, it’s a place for you to connect with other people, just like you, who are transforming their lives from the inside out. Plus, you’re going to be the first to know about exclusive Q and A sessions that I do with me and other special perks that be bringing to you other listeners of the podcast. To be part of the community, head over to jimfortin.com/jointheconversation. Again, jimfortin.com/jointheconversation.
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