EPISODE 269: “How To Surrender and Let Go of Fear?”
I don’t know about you but there have been times in my life where I have been sick and tired. I’ve been irritable, miserable and lost.
There have been times, and it has been many years ago, but I have been very unhappy at my external circumstances.
As I look back years ago, I now know that I was so unhappy because I was trying to control, force or make things happen.
Many of us try to control our external world and circumstances instead of managing our internal world which directly affects our external world. Many if not most of us work backwards…. we try to work from the outside in and that’s as successful as trying to snow ski uphill… it does not work.
Long ago I realized that life was so hard for me because I was trying to control things and I was not happy when things did not go the way I planned, wanted or expected.
I would literally fight, curse and complain about not getting the results I wanted when I was the one creating the lack of results. One day I realized, it dawned on me… I heard someone say, “Just surrender and all that will go away.” The last thing I wanted to do in life is surrender because I thought it would make me look weak. My tenacity and stubbornness was my downfall and it brought a great deal of unhappiness into my life.
I didn’t understand what it meant to surrender. And, when I finally understood the meaning of the concept of surrender my life started to change and that’s what I want to share with you in this episode.
If you want more peace and joy in your life then start living from what I share with you here.
When you surrender you let go of fear and when you let go of fear you surrender. Ponder that. Your fears, not including survival fears, are attachment driven and when we attach we try to control an outcome that is not surrender and we make ourselves miserable though our attachments.
You’re listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is titled How To Surrender and Let Go of Fear. Now, I don’t know about you, but there’ve been many times in my past many years ago where literally I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was irritable, miserable and many times lost in life. As I look back to the years ago that this happened. I now know, and I didn’t know it then, but I now know that I was unhappy and miserable because I was trying to control force and make things happen. Something that I wasn’t doing is I wasn’t. And it’s the topic of this episode. One of the topics something I wasn’t doing is surrendering. So, in this episode, I want to talk about surrendering and fear. Because when we surrender we then let go of fear and paradoxically, when we let go of fear. Actually, it’s easier to surrender. So if you find yourself fighting life, and struggling and a lot of challenges and trying to make things happen. Keep listening.
Hi, I’m Jim Fortin, and you’re about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you’re going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom, all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you’ve never thought possible. If you’re wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life and this podcast is for you. Because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I’m glad you’re here.
You know, as I said, this episode is about surrender and fear and letting go in life. When I look back to my life back in the 1990’s. I tried to fight so many things. I tried to make so many things happen. And part of my psychology and makeup is that, you know what. I do not quit. I will make something happen. There’s going, there’s going to be you know, if there’s a will, there’s a way I will make it happen. And as I look back many times I was my own worst enemy. Because many times I was fighting myself, not even recognizing that I was fighting myself. I was literally without even recognizing it fighting the universe. I was metaphorically the tail, trying to wag the dog. Meaning I was trying to wag the universe as, instead of letting the universe wag me. And candidly that wore me out. So, in this episode, I want to talk about letting go of fear and surrendering and surrendering and simultaneously letting go of fear. As I was just saying, you know, for a lot of competitive people and earlier in my life. And I still think I have some of it, some of it in me. I can be very competitive. Now in this day and age, I’m not competitive with other people. And that you’re going to do what you’re going to do. You’re better at some things than I am. I’m better, stronger, faster. You know, at some things and you are, and that’s just the way of life.
But I think for a lot of people, and an older version of me the word surrender. It’s just not in our bones. Why? Because we might be competitive. Meaning we want to make things happen. We want to show the world. We want to show up. We want to do something. And so, I think for a lot of people, the word surrender might hold a negative connotation. Because for many people, it means, or I thought it meant. If I surrender, that means that I’m quitting. You know, because as kids we are playing and we’d say you surrender now. Okay. Uncle, uncle, I surrender. I surrender. And I had this connotation for many years. That that’s what surrendering meant. And I wouldn’t surrender. And I found that I was one of those people. You may or may not be able to relate. I was one of those people that would beat my head against the wall, trying to make things happen. And if I could make something happen. I would just plow through it and beat my head against the wall. Even more trying to make it happen.
In the context of this episode, surrendering will be one of the most powerful things that you can do in your life. And I’ve talked about this for a lot of years. And I often, I mean, I often, and I understand the question because I wrestled with it for many years. I often will have people say Jim. What does it mean? I mean, how do I surrender? We’ll get back to that in just a minute. The Buddhist said, you may have heard and I say it a lot because it’s just at the forefront of my thinking that your greatest cause of suffering is attachment. So, let’s go there first. What do you attach to, but let me ask you this. You might not know you’re attached because it requires awareness to know that you’re attached. And when you’re attached to something. You’re hanging on to the identity of that. You’re trying to make something happen. You’re trying to force something. You’re trying to call something. But a question I have for you right now. What do you suffer with in your life? Even that might be challenging for some of you. So let me ask that question in a different way.
What’s causing you pain in your life? What’s causing you fear in your life? And it can be a multitude of things. It can be one thing it can be many things. You know, it could be, for example, money. I don’t have the money that I want and that’s causing fear and pain. You might not have thought about it that way. But when you really look at it, It really is fear and pain. Maybe it’s your kids not doing what you want them to do. It could be young kids I see this all the time. People that have 7, 8, 9, 10 year old kids and even younger. And then teenagers. And the kids are doing what the parents want them to do. And the way that the parent wants them to do it for the reasons the parents want them to parents want them to do it. And it causes a lot of suffering and a lot of pain to the parents and a lot of heartache. What about your health? What are you holding on to? What pain are you having in your health and your wellness? And what about this? What about your relationships? You know, when I talk about pain, People don’t realize for the most part that even hanging onto your fear? Ponder this even hanging onto your fear causes pain. Why? Because I don’t know about you. I don’t really get to know a whole lot of pain, a whole lot of fear these days. And. I learned that as a result of the blessing, I think I really came to know it. Because of the blessing of having heart failure and a stroke and just to let go of things in life.
But I recognized that when I let go of the fear. Guess what, the pain associated with the fear stopped. And because the pain stopped. The suffering stopped as well. So, all of these pains that I mentioned, whether it be a lack of money or your kids are not doing what you think. They should do or what you want them to do or what you command them to do, or your health is not where you want it to be or your relationships are tumultuous. All of these things have one driver and one common denominator. And that’s fear. And if you’re continuously experiencing this. You are attached to fear, meaning if you’re continuously experiencing this suffering, which is pain. There’s fear mixed in there somewhere about something, because the reason you hang on to things, the reason you attached to things is because of the fear of not having those things.
And then you get into the suffering with all of this, you know, it’s all wrapped in suffering. I don’t know about you. But suffering can be a bitch. I don’t like this suffering, it’s painful. Life is not meant to suffer. So, listen again. If you’re in constant fear about something in your life then you’re attached to it. And if you’re attached to it then you are in suffering. And I also want to point it out here. Is that for many of us, because see fear. Fear and danger. You might’ve heard me say before are two very different things. And we can be in fear, and it might be a social fear. What people are going to think about us. That’s a different fear than the danger of let’s say a tiger chasing us or an elephant stamping on us or whatever. Being attacked by an alligator or? Well, I don’t know. But, you know, that’s, that’s a realistic fear because we are in danger.
But many of us have fears about, oh my gosh, people are going to judge me. What are they going to say about me? I can’t speak in public or whatever it might be and these are social fears. And many of these fears are because we entertain them psychologically. And obviously we process things through the brain. These become neural pathways in the brain. And we literally, without recognizing it we habituate fear. Fear becomes a habit for many of us. No, I know this won’t apply to everyone. But I see it a lot more than you might think. And you know what I know with the number of downloads I have, I know this is going to apply to a lot of people. But are you in a constant state of fear? Ponder that for a woman. Now, I don’t know if you’re like, well, Jim, I get in the 74.2% fear on a daily basis. Oh, yesterday wasn’t bad. I had 16.9% fear. Oh yeah, that’s good. I can track my funeral app. That’s not what I mean.
But what I mean, if you really look at your life and you pay attention and you’re aware. Do you have a great deal of fear in your life, again, about your kids, your money, your family, your relationships, your home, your job, whatever it might be? Now, the next question is all that fear. Is that suffering? Think about that. It is suffering. Is it not? Well, yes, it is. And what I want to share with you. I think you’ve already gotten this point. Is that I suffered for decades. I suffered for decades through my twenties and into my thirties because I was attached to fear. I was attached to the suffering. And I wouldn’t surrender and let it go. And, you know, sometimes things, we hear things. And it just clicks in that moment and basically that’s subconsciously and that’s also energetic. But we hear things and we’re like, you know, I’ve heard it before. And now I hear it in a new way or a different way, and I just get it. But someone said to me, very simply.
They said Jim you got to surrender. You got to surrender. And I’m sitting here scratching my head going. Uh, yeah, uh, uh, uh, okay. But I didn’t know what it meant. So, let me ask you. Do you know what it means to surrender? So, what does it mean? Surrender is this plain and simple. It’s not rolling over and playing dead. It’s not quitting. It’s not literally throwing in the towel or whatever metaphor you want to use. Surrendering is this pretty simple? Accepting what is. A phrase that I’ve said for many years and it drives some people crazy as I hear. Is, I will often say. It is what it is. And I’ve heard people challenge me on that and say this, that or the other. And you know what works for me might not work for you, but I’m telling you to think about this. The reason that you’re in so much pain with many things and fear is because you won’t let go of things. And I’ll talk more about that, but you won’t surrender. And you won’t surrender to, you know, what. Yes I see that in life and I see exactly what it is. And it’s 1, 2, 3, 4, as an example. What many of us do. I’ve been there. What many of us do is we’re like crap. I hate it that it’s one. I wasn’t planning 1, 2, 3, 4. I was planning for 3, 2, 1. And I wouldn’t even plan it that way and that’s not what I wanted and it didn’t work out like I wanted and that’s not what’s supposed to happen and that’s not fair. And on and on and on.
And when I learned to just, you know, what. Might not like it. Might not want it. This might not be what I plan for, and this might not be what I air quote expected. And as a very expectant person, many years ago, But you know what. It is what it is, and I can fight it all day long. But you know what? I can’t change anything. Till I, except what is right now. And when I accept what is right now, I’m at peace with that. Whether or not, it is what I wanted from that place and in that place, I am surrendering. And now I can move forward to create what I want to create. You know, if you’ve listened to me for any amount of time, you’ve heard me say that we are an earth school. And on earth school. You have the opportunity to learn lessons? Every single day that you wake up. And you will have the opportunity to learn lessons until the day you leave the planet. And then you’ll learn new lessons about, of the different levels of consciousness. A higher level of consciousness, but life is full of lessons. Why do you think you came to the planet? Do you think the universe said, Hey, Susan, tell you what. Go onto that little bitty speck, that pale blue dot down there as Carl Sagan called it. Go down to that little bitty pale blue dot. Work for 50 years. Get a gold watch retire, kick the bucket and Hey, that’s the totality of your existence.
No. That’s the way many people live. But you know what? We’re on earth school. And we have a lifetime of lessons that are school. And when you look at your life, There is many opportunities right now. Just about everything around you gives you the opportunity to practice surrender. Your kids I can’t tell you the number of people that I coach my Transformational Coaching Program. Parents that might have kids that are 4, 5, 6 years old and all the way up to high school. And even under their teens and twenties, late teens and twenties. Parents are trying to control their kids. They’re not surrendering to the fact that after about the age of eight kids have developed their analytical mind. Can’t kids could think analytically. And many parents try to command their kids instead of talking to their kids like human beings. They don’t realize that, you know what, that kid that I command that when they’re 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.Are now 8, 9, 10, and 11. Another part of their brain has actually developed and I can’t command my kid. I have to talk to my kid. Even though there are child like a reasonable, rational. You know, conscious thinking, being.
But I can’t tell you the number of people. That fight with their kids because they want their kids to be a certain way or to do a certain thing. Now, of course, as parents, we have responsibilities to make sure that our kids are healthy and safe and well taken care of. And, you know, we have a responsibility with these parents to look after their best interest. I understand that. But I see many parents that fight their kids choices about different things. And it’s not about the kids often it’s because the parents think the kids are going to be perceived in a certain way that the parents do not want themselves proceed in that way.
Therefore, they are trying to control the kid. So, the kid is not perceived in some way. The parents don’t want the kid to be perceived. Or they don’t want to be perceived. But you look at this. Many of your friends. Friends will, there are times their friends will take advantage. They’re friends at times. will, your friends will be there for you. They will w meaning they will be there for you. And there’s lessons in both of those. You look at your parents. How many of you are in your thirties and forties and fifties? You know, I see it all the time. And you’re still guess what. You’re still afraid of mommy and daddy. And you’re still afraid of what mommy and daddy are going to think. And you were a 40 year old man or woman, and you can’t stand up and speak your mind because oh my gosh, what are mommy and daddy going to think about me if I do, and I don’t want to upset the family. So, guess what? I’m going to, I’m going to fight and I’m going to actually, I’m going to fight these lessons and I’m going to get through this life with all this anguish and all this heartache and all this. All this anger and all these negative emotions. And I’m not going to surrender to what is.
But see what is in that circumstance is you’re an adult. You are an autonomous adult. You have free will just like your parents. Had had and had the freewill to choose their life, whether or not they chose it. You also have, because you’re a con. You’re a conscious, reflective being. You have choice and you have free will. How many things do you fight? How about traffic? How many of you get in traffic and you fight the traffic in your mind, and you’re yelling at the traffic. Would you call that surrendering? How about this? Your neighbors, you’re getting into spats with your neighbors because your neighbors do X, Y, Z. Now, obviously in fairness, I want to point out I live on the planet, just like you. I think many of us, I mean, I’m one of those conscientious neighbors. We have some neighbors that are knowing we have some neighbors that are a pain in the ass. So there are, there are exceptions to these rules, but more than anything. I want you to look at what you struggle against, what are you fighting in your life? What fears do you have in your life and how are you fighting those fears? Because see that’s what takes away your peace of mind. That’s what prevents you from taking a deep breath and surrendering and letting go.
You know, I am an entrepreneur and I save as only for context to help you better understand. But I run a multi, I have an have created a multimillion dollar global business coaching business. Many of my friends are people are people that I have coached and have become friends with. Or their friends that also run very successful online coaching businesses. And for the most part, all of us have been hit hard by the economic downturn. Now what we can do is we can do what a lot of people do. Is, we can complain about it. We can, we can get into all of our crap and our fear and our ego and our anger and projection and this and that. Or we can say, you know what? It is what it is. It’s something outside of myself. It is what I, you know, it is what, what it is. Okay, where do I go from here? You know, and on that note and others. Whatever’s going on in your external life. When I say surrender, it doesn’t mean that you roll over and play victim. Let’s be very clear about that. It doesn’t mean that you roll over like a turtle on your back and go, oh, poor me. The world’s against me. I can’t get a break. I can’t get it. No, that’s not what it is. Surrendering again is just accepting what is.
Because once you surrender to what is, and you accept what is from that point, you start creating peace and more power. You start letting go of all of the aggravation you’ve been holding on to whatever that might be. And from there. From there you can move forward. But when you’re fighting it, it’s very hard to move forward. Why? Because you’re actually, your attention is on fighting it and not on the solution. You know, when I look back at the old me. Many years ago. And I see this many times in my Transformational Coaching Programs and especially probably the first. Three, four or five . Five to six weeks of the program and people start changing dramatically. I mean, some people start changing the very first week.
But I started seeing significant changes in people’s weeks, number three, four, or five, and all the way, the rest of the way through the programs. And I see a lot of people fighting. Things early in the program. Of even fighting me and the coaching team. Why? Because they don’t want to let go of their old ways. They’re attached to their old ways and they won’t surrender and because they won’t surrender and until they surrender. We can’t bring in new ways. And I’m not sure you’ve noticed this about yourself. I read a quote many years ago by Mother Teresa. And she spoke. What you fight for weakens you. And the first place that I plugged that in. Was this whole concept of surrender? Because I started thinking, you know, Jim. You fight a lot of things in life. You don’t fight people. What you fight is your circumstances. And you’re the one who created the circumstance as in, because you fight your circumstances that weaken you. You have to be because I need to back up here being transparent. Part of my old conditioning is I do not. Let me think through this, because again, this is not scripted. I think all of us want to be perceived and a particular way of that. You know what we’re doing well in life, where we’re doing okay in life.
I’m doing extremely well. As a matter of fact, literally statistically, I do better than 99% of people on the planet financially. And even that. It has all kinds of pitfalls, even at that level. And I think part of my old conditioning from my parents was that you have to be a success. Whatever that means to my parents, hell I don’t know to me in my life, it means just being a good person and helping people, but to my parents had meant you’ve got to be successful financially. So, I think. That the old me, many years ago. If I haven’t lost my train of thought here would be about, I had to fight my financial, you know, my financial circumstances or economic circumstances to make things happen so that I could keep up the illusion or the perception of being somebody who is successful. And that’s all external and I realized years later. What a waste of time, what a waste of energy. But I kid you not. I spent so much time, not surrendering to many years ago. Okay. Jim your flat ass broke. You’re upside down financially. I wouldn’t even go there in my own mind. Why because I couldn’t accept it and I fought it.
And I learned that, you know what? And when you do this, you just surrender and say, Hey. It is what it is. I accept this. I created it. I’m a hundred percent responsible for creating it. Okay, where do I go from here? Because from there you have nowhere to go but up, but if you fight, you stay in that fight. As long as you stay there. Now I want to share something here, generally speaking, but I was talking to someone yesterday. And he said, “I hate it when my wife goes blank. And of course he filled in the blanks. And he goes, she constantly does this, and it makes me so mad. It drives me crazy. And I said to him, Well, I said that you love your wife and he goes, absolutely. And I said, surrender. Let it go. Because you might not recognize it. What you’re trying to do is you’re trying to control her to make her fit your model of reality. Are you surrendering to who and what she is and the person that she is and the person you love? Hell no. What you’re trying to do is make her into what you think she should be based upon your model of reality. Ponder that. How many of you do not surrender to the love of a relationship because you’re trying to make your partner what you think they should be? Now a caveat here if you’re not getting your core values met in a relationship. I would say there’s, there may be a lack of compatibility in relationships. If you have very divergent identities about what you both want, that a relationship, that’s a whole different ball of wax, but let’s say both of you are compatible and you love each other, but you’re constantly bickering about things because he or she, or they do this, that, or the other.
Are you truly surrendering or are you trying to control? Let me go somewhere else with this for a moment. In Neuro Linguistics and I look for, I, I learned this literally in the 1990’s. I don’t know where I ever wrote it down if I ever did. But I remember, remember my NLP trainer teaching me, teaching me this, her name was Peggy Dean. And she told me many years ago. She goes, Jim, you have what I call me, my rules. And I said, what does that mean? She goes, you work from my rules from me my rules for you. Now, let me explain what that means. I believe. I know I have integrity. It’s what I was. It’s part of my identity. As you might’ve heard me say before my house. There were three rules Do not lie. Do not cheat. Do not steal. So, part of my model of reality used to be. My rules for me are that I do not lie, cheat and steal. And my rules for you are that you do not lie, cheat and steal all. As we know, there are people in the world who do lie, cheat and steal. So, what I found is I wasn’t surrendering to who they are and what they are. I was trying to force them to be what I thought they should be as integral as I was and it calls me a great deal of suffering. Why? Because I couldn’t control people.
More than anything it controls, it calls anger, which is pain, which is suffering. So the rules, I’m going to share three with you. Are my, my, my rules for me, my rules for you, meaning this is how I think the world works and you should live your life by how I think the world should work. The second one is my, yours, which is the way that I work today. My rules for me. Your roles for you. I choose my life and the way that I choose to live, you choose your life in the way that you choose to live. And then another one. Which can be aggravating for a lot of people when I understand this is not me. No rules for me, my rules for you. And that’s basically the old, you know, the old phrase does not do as I do, as I say. So I learned long ago. To observe people’s rules and to surrender to their rules, meaning I observed the rules and how they live. And obviously my now is my you. Yeah, it’s obviously because I’m sharing it and I recognize that, you know, what, if you’re a, my mind you’re trying to control. I’m not going to try to control you. Like the old me used to do, getting you to be more selfless and help more people.
Hey. That’s your deal? Why? My your, my rules for me. Your rules for you. And in that moment, I recognized that I’m surrendering, I’m surrendering and allowing them to be who and what they are without me trying to control them from my model of reality and my rules. Hopefully that makes sense. I also want to share that your rules are driven by your values. Notice I said that my rules used to be. Because my values are, Do not lie. Do not cheat, do not steal. So that’s part of my, it’s a fundamental part of my value system. And I used to try to actually control other people. Which literally was not surrendering by trying to force my value system on them. Socially or not socially, but. Culturally, you see the same thing in the United States. I’m just going to tell you what it is like. It don’t like it. I really don’t give a shit. But here’s the thing. Is look at the people that want abortion. And believe they should have a right. And look at the people that believe that abortion should not be allowed.
Why because of their dogmatic religious thinking. To people who believe that abortion ism it is not whatever, and people shouldn’t have, it are trying to force their rules on other people who might not hold that same value system. So when I said, I didn’t give a shit, some people are going to say, well, let’s. A lot of people don’t understand what abortion is. They don’t understand the. I’m going to think here, the car. I’m not going to go into it in this episode. But the cosmic implications of what abortion is and is not. Any fetus that is a boarded that’s soul it wasn’t time for them to come to the planet, but yet many people have actually turned it into religion. And then turned it into God and all these other kinds of things. And that’s why I misspoke when I said I don’t give a shit because I do. But I’m not going to get into the fundamentalism of it. So, I apologize, partly for that. But it’s people trying to force their rules on you. And I’ve learned also that, you know what, when people try to force their rules on you. You can’t fight that you have to allow them to be who they are and then work from where you are to create whatever change that you want to be in the world. And where I’m going to go there. How do you do that? I know I’m hopping around a lot. In this episode. It just kind of flows as I do the episodes.
But the way that I affect change in the world. Is surrendering. Understanding myself. More awareness. And then what Gandhi said. Be the change you want to see in the world. So back here really quickly. As I said, I now am a my, your, my rules for me, your rules for you. But if you’re a, my my, do you recognize yourself as a, my, my meaning, you’re trying to control people. And if you’re trying to control people, you’re not surrendering to their autonomy. And then again, that might create fear in your life about Oh my God, my kids not surrendering. And I’m afraid they’re going to have a bad future. And I’m afraid they’re going to have the no, no, no, no. Let it all go. But if you’re a, my me. You’re attached to helping people show up in your life and you’re attached to what they should do and how they should do it. And then when they don’t do it in the way that you think they should do it. You get bent out of shape. And if you don’t think being bent out of shape is suffering. You might want to revisit that and look at that again.
So the key to life and somebody who reenter two people who reinforces to me and for me is a woman named Virginia Cook she’s in her eighties now. And she was one of my mentors on extraordinarily successful business woman and my brother-in-law Don Xavier, the showman. I see them both always living life and flow and living life peacefully. And living life is easy. And I look back at my earlier years when I wouldn’t surrender. I was one of those people that’s fighting everything. I mean as kind of like Yosemite Sam, you know, those are fighting words. And it wasn’t that I was fighting literally fighting people or picking fights or any of that, but I was just fighting with the world. Why, cause, I don’t think we should destroy the environment. So, I would fight that. And then I’d have all these beliefs about how we. I just surrender. People are going to do what they’re going to do and all that I can do is what I can do. And what I can do is hopefully be a positive force on a positive influence in the world. And that’s all that I can do. And if I choose to even fight that, that I’m not surrendering, I can just be me and the here and now. And hopefully make a contribution to the world. And if I had kids to be a good steward to the kids and to be a good friend to my friends and a good partner to my partner and a good citizen, to be able to help people. After that everything is out of my hands.
So, what I request you do, let’s just snap size, this entire episode. And I’m always truthful with you guys. I hopefully I got the point across in this episode about surrender, but I’m currently moving homes. I’ve been building a brand new home for two years. It’s not done yet. It’s supposed to be done in two weeks. Trust me when I tell you that’s a big lesson in surrender. When the contract is said, I have a written contract that says it’ll be done in the year. We’re going on two years. Trust me when I tell you that will cause you a lot of whole lot of things go as well. But I’m staying in a rental right now and I’m living out of boxes. So I had to put this episode together for you guys. So hopefully you got the point, but what I request that you do is this. Look at the pain in your life, even your physical pain. And look at what’s causing you the pain. Many people I’m not going to go into now are even attached to the suffering. Why? Meaning physical pain because of the secondary benefit they >get.
What do I mean by that? Very briefly here. My grandmother was a hypochondriac. She loved, I can’t say that, but as my mother conveyed to me, my grandmother loved to be in the hospital and she spent a lot of time in the hospital for 80. You know, 87 different things. Every time you turn around and she’s in the hospital. As I looked back, you know, 50 years later. I believe I speculate more than anything else that when she was in the hospital, she would get attention and then the family would cuddle her after that. So in a large way, it was a way it was her. It was her plea for attention from people. So. You look at the pain and I was alluding there, the physical pain. I can’t go here in this episode. But look at even your physical pain. Do you attach to it? Or do you surrender to it? So, you can heal that. Do you fight the pain or do you say, you know what? It is what it is. Let me move my attention from fighting it and complaining about it and moaning and groaning about it too.
Let me move to a state of love and healing a big one okay. Are you trying to control other people for whatever your reasons might be, because that’s not surrendering to the autonomy of who they are as long as they are not your minor children that you’re responsible for. Even If they are your minor children, I’m going to tell you right now, if they’re over the age of eight, the more you fight them. And the more you don’t surrender to some degree to the fact that they are autonomous human beings. The more they’re going to fight you back. And the more rebellious your child is going to be. So again, I want to reiterate. When we surrender to the world and to things in the world, it doesn’t mean that we can’t change. However, we can’t fight it because if we fight it, it weakens us. And the more that we’re weakened, the less we can evolve and grow and expand in the world.
So as I started with this episode, your transformational takeaway. Is when you surrender, because I talked a little bit about this. Because a lot of us won’t surrender out of fear because we don’t want to accept what is, because that makes us afraid. But when you surrender, you let go of fear and when you let go of fear without recognizing it. For the most part you’re automatically. Surrendering. Ponder that when you surrender, you let go of fear. And when you let go of fear, you simultaneously surrender and that is a place of peace. Every one of your fears are attachment driven. You must understand that. Every one of your fears minus the fear of survival or physical safety. Their attachment driven. And it means that you’re trying to control some kind of outcome. And you’re not surrendering to what is. Hopefully all of us made sense. Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you over in another episode. Bye-bye.
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