The Jim Fortin Podcast

EPISODE 292: “Are you doing the tango of life backwards?”

October 18, 2023

Are You Doing the Tango of Life Backwards? In this episode, I explore the idea that life is like a dance with the universe. Many people are not “tangoing” with life and the universe in the right way to get the results they want. 

We often think the universe “has our back” and will give us what we want. But, the truth is the universe reflects us back to ourselves.

The universe doesn't test you; it mirrors you. Your external experience reflects your inner consciousness and vibration.

To change your life, you must take 100% responsibility for your emotional state and vibration. Taking “responsibility” means actively causing something to happen.

 If you haven't achieved what you want in life, it's because you haven't taken full ownership of making it happen.

You must manage your thinking and feelings to emit the frequency that attracts what you desire.

Trying to force your desired reality often backfires. Allow what is while holding the vision for what you want.

Fighting life lowers your vibration and brings more of what you're fighting against.

Acceptance and non-resistance are key.

Transformational Takeaway

When we resist “what is,” we lower our vibration and attract more of what we don't want. How can you allow the present moment and release the struggle? What higher vision for your life can you connect to that elevates your frequency? How can you tango with life in a new way that serves your growth and evolution?

Full Episode Transcript


You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast this episode is titled Are You Doing the Tango of Life Backwards. What I mean by that is every one of us wants to create a different a better or more enjoyable experience of life and many of us air quote we try to do it. What many of us, and again, I'm using the word many intentionally, what many of us find is that no matter how hard we try or what we do, we simply don't create a better experience of life, and that frustrates, you know, frustrates us even more. So, in this episode, I want to visit the concept of Life as a Dance, and are we tangoing in the right way to get the results that we want with life and the universe? And if you're not getting the results you want, you're not tangoing in the right way to get the outcomes you want. Keep listening.

Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation, and I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here you're going to find no rah-rah motivation and no hype because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.

Okay, doing the tango of life backwards. Speaking of backwards, we often hear people say, and I don't say a lot when I hear people say this, but you often, and you might even say it yourself, people say, Oh, that's fine. The universe has got your back. And the implication there is that it's okay that no matter what you do, you're going to get what you want because the universe has your back. And what I want to share with you, Is that the universe does have your back, but yet not in the way that many people think, let me explain, this is what I tell people oftentimes when we think the universe has our back, we might think, and not to this degree, but we might think we're invincible or it's okay, the universe has got me and it always does have you because as you've heard me say before, if you've listened for any amount of time, everything always has been is now and will always be fine.

The twist on this concept that I want to share with you is it's not necessarily true that the universe has your back in the way that you think if it did, you'd be creating everything that you want. Here's the truth the universe does not test you as many people think that it does. The universe, and this is a bitch for a lot of us, the universe reflects you. Ponder that the universe doesn't test you, the universe reflects you. Oftentimes people think, Ooh, you know, life's giving me a test and it is, but we personalize it and make it, oh, the universe is, I can't get a break. And the universe is making it really hard and this, that, and the other, and the reality is. The universe isn't doing any of that. The universe is just reflecting your consciousness, your frequency and your vibration back to you. So, when we talk about tangoing, I just picked that word because it, I don't know, it's an easy word to, to associate and to think about because we've all heard of the tango before, but the question I have is. Are you doing the tango and the way that it needs to be done to create the outcomes that you want, or are you dancing to something completely different?

Maybe the universe is dancing as a metaphor to the tango and you're dancing to the polka. And then you're wondering, wait, wait, how come I'm not getting what I want in life? Well, the reality is you're not actually tangoing with or in the ways that you must tango to create the outcomes that you want. You know, when I thought about doing this episode, I thought back to many years ago, and I want to segue here completely off topic for a moment and talk about my brother-in-law, the shaman, Don Xavier. Again, if you've listened and you're new for any amount of time, or you haven't been here very long, he's not the Don Xavier on YouTube. Recently, and it blows my mind why people do this, but there was somebody really tearing me apart that listens to the podcast that was tearing me apart on YouTube. I'm okay with that, meaning it blows my mind, but I'm okay with it because people are going to do what they're going to do. But what they were saying is that I've made my brother-in-law up as if he is some fictional character. And they even went so far as to say that I must be running some kind of, which I laughed at, some kind of multi-level marketing program.

Because apparently, I'm the front of the funnel and I send people to him and everything else, but I do for healing, and he charges very little and only charges one time. And that's if people can even get to him and the person was making all these accusations and all these kinds of things. And I thought about it because I'm always looking for validity and things that people say so that I can grow myself because I'm learning my own lessons. But as I look at that, you know, I just, I'm going to keep sharing about what I've learned from Don Xavier, my brother-in-law. Why? Because he was the actual apprentice in the books that are legendary, The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda. Many people think that Castaneda wrote the book because that's the way it was presented to the world. Castaneda never even met Don Juan, who is a principal teacher in the books. Don Xavier did, and then he helped Castaneda write the books. A whole different story. Not going to go into its right no.

But what inspired this episode, I didn't want to share that because I'm going to just keep on doing what I do. Those that listen, do those that don't don't. And I'm okay with that. We're all on our own path. Many years ago, we were, we were, he and I were talking about something, and we were in a group. It was a family group. And he said to me, he goes, I keep playing the music. And this was about 20 years ago, he goes, I keep playing the music and you don't want to dance, meaning what he was really saying is I keep doing my crap over and over and over again. And he said to me, tell me what music you want me to play. How do you want me to play music in a way that you can understand so that you can grow, and you can evolve? And I've always thought about that. And I thought about it when I was thinking about this episode. And back then I thought about the tango.

Because he's often said, and this is what really inspired the episode. And it's such a true phrase that we miss, but everyone's heard this phrase. You know, he said, it takes two to tango. And initially he was talking about relationships, partners. It takes two people to make it work and both people have to tango and oftentimes one is tango tangoing and they're ready to tango and they've got their dancing shoes on and they're ready to go in their relationship and the other one's still basically not even ready to tango or doesn't even like tango or want to tango and then people wonder why their relationships aren't where they want them to be. And as I was thinking about this episode, because I ponder episodes before I record them and I think through them, I thought, you know, let's remove another person and let's make it another person, the universe, and then do I tango with the universe? And do I tango in a way that creates the outcomes that I want?

And then I look at, well, if I'm not getting the outcomes that I think that I want, then obviously I am not tangoing in the way that's required of the universe to get my gold merit badge as just an example. And I'm kidding for doing the tango and doing it well. So, remember, the universe reflects you, and if you're not tangoing, and the universe is tangoing, by the laws of the universe, you're dancing to the wrong music, as I said. You know, the universe is playing the tango and dancing away, and you may, you know, you may break dancing, I don't, I'm… I'm kidding, but I'm not because there's many times, I've been so far off base many years ago, it ain't even funny. And I wonder why, many years ago, that I'm stuck upside down, metaphorically, in the mud, and I'm stuck. Hey, the universe is playing this song. Which are the universal laws and I'm not listening. I'm doing things my own way And I'm just it's not working the resonance the frequency the vibration is all off.

And then many times what we do which by the way is what I did many times we complain the universe is simply reflecting us, but we're not getting what we want Because what we're holding in consciousness is being reflected back to us. So, we're not getting what we want. And then we complain, and we complain, and we bitch, and we moan, and we groan. And I'm not happy about this. I'm not happy about that. I can't believe this happened. She did that. He did that. And we complain, not even recognizing the experience we have, again, is a reflection of our consciousness. The music has got to change. And I want to share that this was one of the hardest lessons for me and I don't know that I've learned the lesson, but I think I've learned the lesson because I've learned that the more we learn, the less we know, basically, it's, there's always another door, another level, another abyss to look out into.

And so, do I manage it well? Yeah, I manage it pretty well because I have a pretty high quality of life based upon most people's desired standard of living, health, wellness, relationships, all these things I have in my life, but it hasn't been that way my entire life. And if you are listening, you can probably relate to that as well. And it came down to me saying, okay, universe, and I'm just going to, I'm going to go off even my tangent here or on a tangent. I was thinking about this and it's coming to me as I'm doing this episode. I don't have any notes. People often ask me when I learned to trust the universe, because most of us are conditioned to live completely by what we can physically, viscerally experience the 3D world. And I thought about that. I thought about it long and hard. And I recognized that I didn't start trusting the universe until I got sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

And this, this was probably 25 years ago, and I just started working with a shaman. And I remember thinking, I am so sick and tired. A freaking doing without and working really hard and not getting the results that I want, you know, this universe bullshit that my brother in law talks to me about, and I've started reading about in books, I'm going to try it because what else do I have to lose except all the, all the hard work and the knocking my head against the wall and the frustration and the anger and everything else. Hell, I going to do? And that's when I started trusting life. Trusting the universe. Trusting the universal laws and recognition. Whoa I got some work to do and that work that I have to do is working on my angers, my frustrations, my resentments my negativities and all these lower frequency, lower vibration, emotions, and thoughts, because we have thoughts that precede the emotions that precede the vibration that precede the frequency, I had to work on that stuff because I wasn't working in a way.

That was creating peace of mind, bliss, wellness, abundance, love, prosperity, and all the things that are higher frequency emotions. Now, I'm going to shift here a little bit. I'm going to concretize this. Something I've taught for many years in the Transformational Coaching Program is that we must become, we must be a hundred percent responsible for our lives. And we often think, well, I'm a responsible adult. I mean, I pick the kids up from school, you know, when I, when I'm supposed to, and I pick people up at the airport when I tell them I will. And I do this, and I do that, and I pay the bills and I pay the rent and I go to work. And yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a responsible person. I can be trusted. I'm responsible. What we fail to recognize. Is that the definition of responsibility literally causing something to happen? And if we don't have something in our life. Plain and simple. We have, we have been irresponsible and not caused it to happen.

And then in the same vein of what I'm talking about with you right here, right now is I'm looking at, okay, if I haven't created what I want and things I was talking about earlier in this episode. Holy shit, I've been irresponsible and then we tend to actually think, well, I'm irresponsible with, I have to do this. I have to do that. I got to go here. I've got to go there. I've got to do this podcast and this webinar and this seminar and blah, blah, blah, blah. And it hit me. I must be a hundred percent responsible with my frequency, with my vibration, I must be a hundred percent responsible with the way that I manage myself in terms of managing my thinking and managing my emotions, because when I'm managing my emotions and I'm managing my thinking, then and only then am I being a hundred percent responsible then and only then am I doing the tango. Otherwise, otherwise, I'm doing the polka, and the universe is doing the tango and I ain't getting what I want in life.

Let me segue from the episode for just one moment. If you've been listening for any amount of time, over the last several episodes, you've heard some pretty amazing stories from students of mine that have been in the Transformational Coaching Program, and you've heard their stories about how they've made dramatic changes in their life, and how they've transform in life being in the Transformational Coaching Program with me. I don't know where you are in life right now, but I know you're listening to the podcast for a reason. Maybe you're stuck in life. Maybe you're feeling like. There's got to be more to life. Maybe you're spiritually oriented and you want to grow. Perhaps you're wanting to work on your health. Maybe you're wanting to work on and improve or leave your relationship. How about this? And a big one for a lot of people right now in the United States, 80 percent of people live paycheck to paycheck. It probably didn't apply to most people listening to the podcast yet. And I'm going to share with you right now, if you're having any money challenges. It's not about the economy. It's not about the external world. This podcast is called Transform Your Life from the Inside Out. Everything comes from the inside out. And if you're not creating the quality of life that you want, it has nothing to do with the external world. It has to do with your… internal world. And until you change your brain-based habits and your subconscious identity and all the things you hear me talking about, nothing is really going to change for you.

You may not want to hear that, but that is the truth. I also learned that stark reality. Two decades ago, because I used to be one of those people that had hope and wish and want and pray to have a better life and I worked my butt into the ground, and I just never created it. My external outside world changed when I changed. So, if you're serious about creating a much better experience of life, go to I've done this program for so long. I am 100% certain no matter where you are in life, I can help you get the results that you want and the program can help you get the results that you want if you commit to rolling up your sleeves and doing what's required to create the change. I'm by your side every bit of the way. My coaching team is also by your side and we're there for you daily for the next 13 weeks. I'm so confident and my track record demonstrates that I can help you create what you want to create in life and feel better about yourself and live a better life. I offer a 100% money back guarantee. Go through the entire program. And if we don't deliver what I'm telling you we deliver, then you know what? Simply provide your returned homework completed and all you have got to do is ask for a refund. And it will be made. In the last 6 years, we've had less than 10 refund requests. Yes. The program, the coaching, the training is that good. Enrollment is open right now to join the Transformational Coaching Program. The cart closes tomorrow night at 11:59 PST. Go to to find out more details. Okay, back to the episode.

So, when it comes to responsibility, let me simplify even more. One of my coaches said to me, it was probably 15 years ago, and I had heard it for decades prior and years prior. Everyone's heard it for the most part, not everyone, but most of you. And it makes sense to us analytically. But she said to me, she said that if it is to be it is up to me. Ponder that. If it is to be it is up to me. And when we live in that place guess what? We're tango-ing. Finally! We're tango-ing when we're actually being and we're responsible for being in particular ways with our emotions and our thinking that create the outcomes that we want. The way that we're not being responsible and we're not tango-ing. And again, for a lack of better metaphors, that's why I'm using the word tango. But let's say… That you want to create better health in your life, but yet you're thinking thoughts all day long of like, oh, no I'm never gonna heal. I'm never gonna feel better.

I'm in pain all day long, This suck. The doctors are this or my acupuncture is this or the world is this or the person did this and caused me to do this and on and on and on are you being responsible with your frequency and vibration. Because You have to ask my being responsible with my thoughts and my feelings. Because my thoughts and feelings right now are not all that positive. And then we look at if they're not that positive, then our frequency and vibration is not at the frequency of frequency and vibration to create the outcomes that we want. Hopefully that makes sense to you as I'm going through this. And I know I've said part of this in different ways in different episodes, but hopefully in this episode and the way that I'm saying it. It's sinking in. I know, you know, listening to Don Xavier over the years, I know that I don't hear until I'm ready to hear tell I'm literally in a place where I'm even able to hear, you know, I think back to a trip to Colorado that he and I went on family vacation, maybe, you know, 1996 or so, and he explained something to me. Like I'm explaining things now and sharing things and I said, hey, Don, I get it. And he's like, and he was very kind and very loving. And he's like, no, you don't yet. I'm like, no, no, really? I get it. And he's like, no, you don't get it. I'm like, Don, we just, I just call him Don instead of Don Xavier. It is my brother-in-law. I used to call him Cuñado, which is Spanish for brother-in-law.

I said, Don, I get it. And he goes, no, you don't. But that's okay. And he goes, you'll get it in your own time, in your own space, in your own way. So maybe when I say it this way, as opposed to just saying frequency and vibration, which so many people are running around doing in the world right now. And it's like just out there rampantly right now. And so many people, honestly, don't know what they're talking about. They've read it in the book, this, that, and the other, but they truly don't understand the essence of the resonance of the frequency and the vibration. So, I'm sharing it with you in a way that hopefully if it's not resonated before it is resonating now, but you know, speaking about this and then not being in tune. I one time read, once, well, one time many years ago read, where somebody asked this Buddhist monk, and they said, you know, Master, what is your key to happiness in life? Now, he didn't say what I'm saying in the way that I'm saying it but let me go about it in a different direction.

He said, I say yes to everything, and you could be listening to that, and you could be thinking what the hell is this monk talking about. Took me a long time to get my mind around it and I recognized saying yes to everything doesn't mean that we're agreeing with everything or we even like it is saying yes is allowance I understand and if we want to concretize this look at the world that we live in right now in 2023. Unfortunately, the political season is here looking into 2024 for the presidential election again. Holy mackerel. It's a shit storm. And it's, it's crazy in my observation, my opinion, my whatever. And I look at this and so many people fight this, and they fight it by, I hate Biden. Other people hate, you know, fight it by, I hate Trump. I don't know what's justified, what's not. That's not for me to say what's true, what's not true. Though I do see a lot of things that I don't really appreciate either, but that's neither here nor there. But the reality is, saying yes is okay. This is what it is. I understand it. I accept it as it is and accepting it as it is. Now I can start to change my perceptions about it or create change in the world.

I'm going to keep on going. My ringer went off and I was on a roll there. So, I'm going to keep on going. So acceptance is accepting things for what they are in the moment and a lot of us fight what's going on in the moment and that throws our frequency off because when we're fighting what's and then we're not tangoing or fighting what's going on in life, fighting your health, fighting people, fighting politics, fighting the economy, fighting whatever, look at where your frequency and vibration is. Then what happens, that's where your frequency and vibration are. The universe reflects you and brings it back to you. And then you bring back more into your life of what you're actually fighting not to have in your life. So, I want to share right now is that mental mastery. Meaning mastering your emotional states is one of the most powerful things that you can do to start tango-ing in the right frequencies and right vibration. Because when you master your emotional states, things don't bother you, they don't drag you down, they don't create the negativity like the fear, and the emotions, and the dread, and all these kinds of negativities that people get into that lower their frequency. And you know, I look out in the world, and I look at people, I coach people from all age categories in the Transformational Coaching Program. I've got people in there that are in their early twenties. Most are in their thirties and forties, some in their fifties. And I even have people in their sixties, seventies and eighties and people in their sixties wanting to reinvent and start life over again. And I look at the level of emotional immaturity that we've learned to have as a result of the culture that we live in. So, the most important thing that we can do is learn to regulate and to manage our emotions. And one of the best ways that I've found is what I just showed you. Stop fighting the world and start allowing the world and working from there.

Many years ago, somebody asked Mother Teresa if she would fight against the war in Vietnam. And she said, no, I will not fight in the war against Vietnam, but I will march for peace. Notice, two very different energies that people are putting out. And then what you fight for will weaken you. So, if you're fighting the universe and the universe is going, hey, there, here's the universal laws you got to tango by these and you're fighting them. Which could be told I did when you fight the universal freak, you know, the universal laws Hey, you're just going to get more of what you're fighting, which is more frustration, which for me, I, I don't give up easily. So, I would just fight more and fight harder. And then the harder I'd fight, the more shit I'd create in my life. And I just create more of it. Question as I'm talking about this, can you relate to this in some possible, even a small way in your life to see that your life is about allowing things. We try to force things. We try to make things happen.

That's not in tune with the universe. Why? And it is in tune, but it's in tune with what we don't want. Let me put it that way. It's in tune with what you don't want to create, but you create more of, because that's where your frequency and vibration both are. Hopefully this makes sense. You know, I just sat down today, it's been a really busy, busy week right now. We're in the middle of promoting a very large offering for the transformational coaching program. I don't know when you're listening, whether you're listening in 2023, 2025. I don't know, but it's my signature Transformational Coaching Program. We're running 12-hour days and we have been for probably two or three weeks because we care so much about what we do and it's a labor of love. But today I was sitting down thinking, okay, what am I going to do for the podcast this week? I don't batch them because I don't know what's going to come to me. Most people say you should batch your podcast while that makes a lot of sense and it's actually smart. I don't do it because I don't want to do an episode if I'm not inspired by it. And I want to know what comes to me. And this is where we are today.

So, we want to think about, you want to think about, am I getting what I want in life? The answer is yes, the answer is no. If the answer is no, then guess what? The universe third time is doing the tango and you're doing the polka. And then you have to ask yourself, okay, what ways must I shift to do the tango? And I can tell you for sure the way. To get what you want is not, not to get into tantrums, anger, self-pity, angry at life, angry at people, cursing life, and fighting your circumstances. That's the opposite of the way to create what you want in life. Now I'm going to ask you very gently. Look at your own life. How much of that do you see in your own thinking and your feelings and your behavior, then look at your external life. And it's no surprise that your life has turned out in the way that it actually has. Question. We're going to start wrapping up here in this episode. What do you want in life? Think about that. What more do I want to create? Not that it's about having more in life, but we all want a better experience of life. So, you can even ask yourself that question. What better experience of life do I want?

And then we look at that and we can talk about, okay, these are the things that have to change. So that I allow, meaning I've got to be at peace. I've got to be okay with things that are happening in the world. Again, it doesn't mean I have to accept it, but hey, this is what is, and I have to work with what is before I can move anywhere else. So, we want to look at what you want to look at. What feelings am I having on a daily basis right now? And candidly, and this is what the Transformational Coaching Program helps people with. We live in a world that is a shitstorm of chaos right now. I've said on episodes before, there really isn't any chaos in the world. The chaos is in human consciousness. Chaos is in your mind. And if you're worried and you're distraught and all these kinds of things about the world, other people… Don't give it a second thought. It doesn't mean that it's bad. Doesn't mean that it's good. Doesn't mean that it's going to go away or not go away. What matters is where we're holding our attention and how does that affect our frequency and vibration?

So where do we want to hold our frequency and vibration or this. And for many of us, I can't speak for you, but you know what? It's been a journey for me. Just being transparent is we want to hold our frequency and vibration at love, peace, bliss, kindness, support, and contribution for ourselves and for other people. Gandhi once said, be the change you want to see in the world. It's going to start with us. It's not going to start with governments. It's not going to start with dictators and all this kind of stuff and even democracies. It's not going to start with any of that. The world you want to see starts in each one of us and then collectively, more people have to open up to that. Which is why I do these podcasts called Transform Your Life from The Inside Out. When you transform your life from the inside out, and more of us do it, it's like, I'm a candle, and I light your candle, and then you light another candle, and we light more and more candles to bring more light. and peace and health and wellness and prosperity and bun abundance to the collectiveness.

Some people would say that's idealism. Yeah, it is idealism because we live in a very, uh, a very t3D world and its idealism as long as we continue to subscribe to the function of only the five senses without finding the higher essence in us. So, your transformational takeaway for this episode is raise your vibration, tango with the universe and the way that creates the outcomes that you want. The universe doesn't test you. The universe didn't pick you out of the crowd of billions of people on this planet. One planet, millions of planets of billions of galaxies. Trust me, the universe doesn't think you're that special in that kind of context. The universe did not pick you out. The universe simply reflects you. The dominant frequencies and vibrations, which are the thoughts and feelings that you have, you want to tango in a way that creates a life you want go back to again, the love, the peace, the bliss, the kindness and a little addendum here, go back to your intention. I N T E N T I O N. Intention is the fabric of the universe. And when you set your intent for what it is that you want to create, it must, the universe must tango with you to create that. Thanks for listening. And I'll catch you over in another episode. Bye bye.

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Jim Fortin

Jim is an international subconscious self-transformation and high performance expert with over two decades of expertise in brain based transformation and high performance. Using a brain based approach coupled with transformational psychology and ancient wisdom Jim has created programs that create long-term core-level life transformation in his students.

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