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You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is titled, What Do You Want in your Life. You know, being a coach for many years. It is anyone that I work with one of the first questions that I asked them is, you know what they're wanting from me. What they're wanting from our work together. And then I will ask, what do you want? What do you want in your life? And you notice the title of this episode is what do you want in your life. But what I want to talk about in this episode is the difference between what you want in your life. And the experience that you want for your life. In your life or for your life? Two very, very different things. And when I ask people what they want. In their life. People have a really hard time with that. I can't stress. You know, what if you're like most people. You probably do as well. Thinking about things that you want and then putting it on paper and, and concretizing it in your mind. And then you start working towards it. But the challenge, most of us never start working towards it because we don't even know what we want. So, in this episode, we're going to look at what you want in your life. From a different angle. And we're going to look in this episode at it, from what you want for your life. Keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation, and I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here you're going to find no rah-rah motivation and no hype because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Okay. So, what do you want in your life versus for your life? As I said in the introduction for most people. When I asked them what they want? That's really, really hard for people. Most people know what they don't want, but they really have a hard time identifying what they do. Want. I want to go back to an experience many years ago. It was about 25 years ago when I was waiting tables. At a really nice restaurant. The chef at the restaurant at that time was one of the top 10 ranked chefs in the United States. He was twice offered the position of white house chef. Really well-known and no, it wasn't Emeril and whatever. I mean, the guy that I, I waited tables for he wasn't a per se celebrity chef. He was just one of the most well-known chefs. And he used to say every day to the staff. And I've always remembered this. He used to say, and this was a nice restaurant. Trust me on that. I mean, it was pricey. And it was expensive and elegant and the service wasn't well, unless I waited on you, but the service was impeccable no I'm kidding.
But he used to say, you know what people can get carbs anywhere. And this man was known for his specialties, Southwestern flavored food. But he's used to say. You know, things that I cook and things that I make people can get anywhere. Maybe not like I make it, but they can get it anywhere, what people want here. And that's what this episode is about not about food. Said what people want is, they want an experience. When they are dining. I've always remembered that. So, instead of asking you what you want in life. I'm going to go a different direction. And I'm going to ask you what experience of life do you want.
You know, I am no different than a lot of us and many of those same limitations. And fortunately, I have tools, so I know how to get through the limitations if or when I choose. So, I have experienced many of the things that you're dealing with. I've dealt with. I'm just at a different place in my life at this point. But I know when people use the ask me, Jim, what do you want? I would pretty much be like, well, you know, this and that. And you know, I think back to the Transformational Coaching Program. The, the live program that I lead for for 13 weeks. And I want to give you a story from TCP. I don't do this every, you know, every TCP. And we don't do cohorts anymore, but this is what I noticed. When it comes to people creating what they want. The metaphor would be, let's say that I take you on. I've used this metaphor before in the podcast. Let's say that I took you to the Four Seasons for launch. It's probably $125 this day and age.
I don't know. It's been many years since I've been there. It's kind of not my thing anymore. But I used to go every so often with business people, friends to the Four Seasons. A five-star hotel and we'd gather for lunch and go to the buffet. And at their buffet they had everything. I mean, everything from king crab legs, the caviar to lobster tail. So, the most expensive foods they had, everything. The metaphor is, is that in life? Many of us go to the buffet. But then we come back from the buffet. And we looked down at our plate. And we you know; we've got two saltine crackers maybe a piece of cheese and a grape or two. And that's how we live our lives. And I look at the buffet. And I'm like, you can have anything. You can have anything at this buffet. And then we go for the saltines and the piece of cheese and the Grapes or two. And we just deprive yourself of so much in life.
And there's a lot of reasons, you know, I've often wondered why is it so hard for people to know and think about what they want in life. Now when I was alluding to myself earlier. It used to be really hard for me. And I'll explain why that is and why it happened to me and why it's probably happening to you in just a moment. But it was, it was hard. And we all, we all want what I use the word want in our life. We all want the same three things, and these are what I call the three biggies. And these could be the three biggies in personal development. To three in marketing three biggies that a lot of areas of life. The three biggies that we want our and we'll say this generically, most of us do. But we want the good family life. We want good health and we want financial security. However, we define that or money or wealth, whatever it might be. The three big wins family, health, money. So, I think most of us have that down, but we have it down very generally. And. What I really want to know when I'm coaching people. Very simply what do you want in your life.
And then I look at the reasons why that's so hard for most of us. And what I know because I've been there and I did it for many years. Most of us don't work from potentiality. We don't work from infinite universe. We don't work from abundant universe. You know, let me revert back here, go back here to. For many years, I taught persuasion and influence to selling professionals. And I talk to them, how to be ethically more influential and they're selling processes. And, and all the years that I've trained, I don't know, hundreds of thousands of salespeople. You almost never see people going from, let's say 75,000 a year to $400,000 per year. Or maybe from 4 or 500,000 a year to 1.3 million a year. Normally what people do and we'll start with a hundred thousand dollars.
So, this is 2024 and someone makes a hundred thousand dollars this year. Generally, the patterns that I've seen, and these are very solid patterns. Okay what people will do is they'll say, okay. I made a hundred thousand dollars this year, meaning, well, last year thinking about it for the new year, I made a hundred thousand dollars. Yeah. Yeah. I want to make more. I got a good idea. Why don't I make $120,000 this year? I want to go; I want to go up just an increment. I want to make a little bit more. But in that same industry, you might have people that are making 2 or 3, $4 million a year. You made a hundred thousand. And you want to go up by 10%, 15%, 10,000, 20,000. Why? Well, the reason why is what I've alluded to is that people are not working from possibility. They're working from resignation, meaning, well, this is what I've had before and I resigned myself to that. And okay I can create a lot of more. Most of us, don't think in terms of dramatic transformation in our life. Which is my objective with the Transformational Coaching Program, significant change in people's lives.
That's not where most of us work from or work towards. We worked from I want a little more, a little better on a little different. Because that's all that we think that we can have. But what we do. The reason we go for that extra 10%. Are you ready? Is because we work from our past meaning we don't work from our potential from where we are right now. We work from, as I said earlier, Oh, okay last year I made a hundred. So, this year I can make 120. Notice right there that's not about potentiality. That's about in my past. That doesn't exist anymore. That's what I made and because that's what I made in my past. That's what I can make now. And we work from past history. And as long as we work from past history, instead of working from now. Work from right now. And I'm going to ask the question again, and then I'll ask the alternative question from as opposed to end but what do you want in your life ow. Not from what you had last year. Not from a little more, not from a little better, not from a little different. What do you want if you saw life? As an extravagant and it is that full-service buffet.
So, we have to work from possibility and now is one thing. So, another reason and I've been there as well. And I think a lot of you have. I remember as a kid. There were a lot of things by the time I was probably 7, 8, 9 years old. There were a lot of things that I wouldn't ask for. Because I already knew before I asked, I already knew the answer was going to be no. So, I already knew that, Hey, there's no point in asking because mom and dad are going to tell me no. I don't know if this is true or not. But I read somewhere some book and it was a lot of years ago. And it's probably true. But I read it as book read said the average American child. And by the way, the predominant listeners of the podcast, I was looking at metric as a couple of days ago. The three biggest countries are the United States, the UK and Australia, industrialized nations. And I'm assuming we're all kind of the same. And I have a lot of T of, all C's. And, and people from the UK and TCP. So, I know the people, we're all kind of the same.
But what I read was is that we're told no. Around a hundred thousand dollars by the time we're 18. So, then I look at my life. Hey mom, when I'm, you know, 7, 8, 9. Can I have a candy bar? No, put it back. Can I have X, Y, Z. No. And what I used to hear a lot of this. No, put it back. We already have that at home. Whatever it might've been, you know, orange juice or whatever. It might've been. But I was told no, so often. And this day and age I ask. I ask for what I want and I create what I want because I work from now and know that I can have anything that I want provided that I pay for it. And when I say pay for it. Everything in life, nothing is free. You've got to pay for it with either time, energy or money. So, everything's got to be paid for. And I know that if I want to pay the price, I can have it. And I'm not even sure why that popped in my mind. But I read that H. Ross Perot once said who knows if it's true or not, but he said, there’s so much stuff you read that's not true. And especially this day and age, but he said a person can have anything they want. They can have anything they want. When they know what they want and they ask for it and they pay the price for it.
So, what I think we've done partially as we've been conditioned to not ask for things to not reach for things, even though we are pure potentiality. And we can have anything we want. I think we're conditioned. And then what happens also is you know, I teach habits how to create them, how to eliminate them in the Transformational Coaching Program. And there's something that I say, and I have a program that I have. And what I say is this. Listen very carefully because it's true and it's very powerful. Every single thing that you have in your life. You're in the habit of having in your life. Everything you don't have in your life even if you want it you don't have it. Because you're in the habit of not having it in your life. Think about that habits you know, a powerful phrase this episode is not about habits. One of the earlier episodes, one of the first 10 is about habits. But I tell people we don't get; you don't get what you want in life none of us do. We get our habits in life. So, make a note of that. But another reason and habits are brain-based. But another reason again, in TCP, we do this the second week. As I had people start crafting their vision for themselves. What do you want to create? I give them a warning. And the warning that I give them. Is, and I'm giving it to you also listening to this episode. The warning is and this is brain-based as you start dreaming. And it can be amazing things you're dreaming about. Powerful things, new things, exciting things, maybe moving to Italy. Maybe moving to Australia. I don't know. Maybe you live in Australia moving to the states.
But what happens when we start dreaming outside of our comfort zone, even if we're dreaming outside of our comfort zone. What happens is there's a part of your brain. That and it's the older part of the brain. The reptilian part of the brain. And that part of the brand is responsible for your survival. But that part of the brain, there are mechanisms in that part of the brain. That works from survival. And if what that means is if you're doing something that may threaten your existence, Meaning your survival. And if you're trying to create all these amazing things in life. This is why many of you might think you want to create amazing things and then fear and anxiety starts setting in and you start actually questioning yourself. That's your brain doing it. And I tell part of the brain, not all the brain. So, I tell people. As you start to craft an amazing future for yourself. Warning warning warning. There's going to be a part of your brain. That's going to try to talk you out of it to tell you why you can't do it and why you cannot have it. So that's one of the reasons also. There's a part of our brain. That's working against us, creating a lot more in life. One of the things that it does and I know I've mentioned that maybe even recently, it’s called identity verification meaning there's a part of the brain and its survival based. We want to know what tomorrow was going to look like, even known as I've talked about. I think on the last episode, we'll never know because tomorrow's not here, so we don't know. What it's going to look like. But there's a part of the brain that's responsible for keeping us alive and keeping us safe. And it wants to know, so to speak, like doing a checklist, doing its job and wants to know what tomorrow is going to look like and if we're attempting to create these amazing things in life, That part of the brain sounds an alarm and goes no, no, no, no, no. You can't have that.
So, what we do is we talk yourself out of it before we even start exploring the opportunity and the reality of creating it and having it and experiencing it in our life. And there's more there about the anxiety and the brain and different things. I won't get into it here. But another couple of reasons that I've looked at and I see this a lot in TCP is that many times, not many sometimes. People are afraid that if they create a whole lot more than they're not going to fit in with their friends and family. So, they want to be loved, they want to be accepted, therefore, they don't want to stray too far outside the flock and especially with money and air quote success, because they don't want to be ostracized. And one of our greatest fears also the two biggest fears are the fear of abandonment and inadequacy. They don't want to be abandoned by the tribe by having all these amazing things in their life. Because their tribe, they feel, and it's all made up in their mind. Well, they feel that people in the crime will push them out of the crime. Meaning, we feel like people are going to judge us. And they're going to judges in a particular way, and we avoid that because that's painful. So therefore, why create these new things? Because, Hey, we don't want to be ostracized. And many times, we call that either the fear of sex set, not the fear of sex, but the fear of success or the fear of failure e
Okay I want to segue from the episode for just one moment. And I want to ask you, where were you most stuck in 2023? What things held you back the most? When I ask people, you know, why they're not getting what they want in life, people often say, well, I was stuck with X, Y, Z, or, and this may resonate with you, I feel stuck. If you're feeling stuck, one question I want you to ask yourself is, what is it costing me? What is it costing me to not resolve this and to battle being stuck? And when you add that up, whether it's money and especially in business, but in your health and your relationships, when you add that up, it's extremely costly to be stuck in life. Now, all that's being said, I created a new challenge I created that last year, many thousands of people have gone through it and it's called the Get Unstuck Challenge. Interesting, the name's all about getting unstuck. Now in this challenge, it's a nine-day challenge and I walk you through at a very profound at a very spiritual, level, and even at a cosmic level, I walk you through who and how you're being as a being, meaning your presence on the planet. And when you understand that, when you understand the nature of you at a very deep level, now you might've heard me say, Be Do Have before, and that's more about 3d reality.
Who do you have to be so you can do so you can have, but I'm talking, you know, what does it mean to be? And then what is that power associated with that? When you understand that you automatically get unstuck in life. This program never offered it before to you guys. We're offering it now. I don't think we've offered it to the podcast and an ad. Maybe we have, maybe we have, I don't remember anyway. It doesn't matter because we haven't offered it a lot of, we have, but we're offering to get unstuck challenge again. It's only $97. Thousands of people have been through it and they rave about the results they're getting. And I know that you will do the same thing.
So again, ponder the question. What does it cost me? What am I giving up? What peace of mind? What happiness? What money? What relationships am I giving up in life because I am stuck in my own crap. Now, as you're thinking about that, click the link, go to tcp.jimfortin com/unstuck again, and we'll drop the link in the show notes, tcp.jimfortincom/unstuck. Download the program. You get started right away and your life will start changing dramatically. When you apply what you're learning in that program, your life will start changing in very dramatic ways, very, very quickly and as a matter of fact, in the next nine days. Okay, back to the episode.
I want to go back to about 15 years ago. Yeah, I'm thinking it was about, it was 15 years ago. And it was talking to a coach in mind. And his name was Barry. He was a transformational coach. And I told them about some real estate I wanted to buy in Boulder, Colorado, because at that point I wanted to live there and during the course of that conversation. And I really, at that point, want to live in Boulder, Colorado. And I found a piece of property that was outside it was outside the main part of downtown and it overlooked all a Boulder and you could see the Rocky Mountains in the background and. And all this, and I wanted to pay cash for the piece of property and build a house on it. It's like a cliff overlooking Boulder. And Barry stopped and he started laughing. When I told him the whole story that I was telling him. And he said, Jim, Which I'm asking you also listening to this episode. He said Jim, what experience of life do you want. And that's what I want you to start thinking about because see an experience of life. Can be having something in your life. But more than anything, it's about something for your life. Again, the experience can be in your life but we want things for our lives so that we can have those experiences of the things. So, the question that I have for you. Please I'm asking you very seriously. I'm no different than you. I don't actually, I'm going to tell you a little secret. Okay you got to promise not to tell anybody. I don't listen to other podcasts. I don't listen to a single podcast. And many of you do listen to this podcast and generally three or four others. And I have a lot of people tagging me quite often on Instagram and they're shouting out to their top five favorite podcast or top three or whatever. And I'm often on a list with people I know people, I don't know, whatever.
We all want to have an amazing experience of life. We want those three biggies that I talked about earlier. The health, the wealth, the relationships. And where I was going before I segwayed the health, wealth and relationships is do not skip over to this question. Because we can tend to listen to a podcast episode. And I'm saying this respect. Let me finish my thought here then I'll say something else. We can listen to an episode and we think, oh, we get it. We get it. Okay are just five minutes ago and this is why this entire podcast. I've had people tell me. They've listened to all, you know, we're at 308 or 9 now. I don't know what it is. Something like that. But they've said I listened every single one of them back to back and I benched on the entire podcast. And I listened to everyone every single day, over the course of, I don't know, I'm making this up 10 days or whatever. And my thought is number one is I'm grateful, but secondly, why you missed it all. Life's about experience. It's about savoring. It's about marinating it's about pondering. It's about seeing how things fit into our own life. Not, not about just gathering information. So, for this episode, please double just gather information from the episode. I'm asking you. What experience of life do you want now? Not what you think you can have not working from the past, not working from your brain, limiting you. What experience of life do you want now?
Another question is what is causing you to choose this experience of life? Dig into that, because that might create some more clarity for you. Mine create some more self-awareness. What is causing, being. To choose this experience of life. Now I can't tell you what to choose for your life. And I know in my life I'm 59 years old. At 30 years old. I chose very different things than I would choose today when I was 40. I chose very different things that I would choose today. When I was 50, I chose very different things and I would choose today and I assume. Providing them on the planet I will be 60 a year from now. I just turned 59. So, when I'm 70, I will choose different things in what I'm choosing now. So there really shouldn't be any judgment about it. And a question that I have for you. Don't think about what other people want you to have. Don't think about what other people would think about you if you had those things. Don't think about what your parents want for you. Don't think about what you're supposed to have. What things would you choose for yourself now? What experience of life would you choose now? If we could wave a magic wand and you had it immediately.
Another question. This is a big one. And take your answer to this and match it to your life now and see if they literally mirror each other or they don't. But if you were living the experience of life you want it? An amazing experience of life. First question or first part of the question. Who would be in your life? And the second part of the question. Is how would your life be different. I think about that. Who and how, who would you have in your life and how would your life be different? You may want to journal that as well, and you can even journal your ideal life. And, you know, what's ridiculous. It really is you know, we can have, and I see it and I know I’ve; I've coached. I'm blessed some of the people that I've coached. Everything from royalty to movie stars. To professional athletes to it. You know, an Olympic athlete or two. Movie stars literally I mean, I've coached the whole gamut. We can have the most amazing experiences of life. But yet we got to the buffet again. And we come back with the two crackers and the piece of cheese. And I don't know, maybe I maybe a tablespoon of dessert or something. I don't know. We don't come back with a lot. So, here's what you want to do. Is what you want to think about here. I'm going to give you the transformational takeaway, but then I want to walk you through it and give you a process okay. Because I want you to start creating the most amazing experience of life that you want for you.
So, the question is this, and maybe you journal this and I would encourage you to journal it and write it down. What experience of life do I want? There's the question now let's take that apart and let's reverse engineer it. Okay. So. When we start with the big question of what experience of life do you want? Many people have a hard time with that as well. And they're all over the place. So, let me give you a roadmap. So, let's start and levels and layers of human behavior. And write these down as we go okay. And if you're driving, don't write them down, listen later and write them down. So top of the paper. You're right down or you can type it. What experience of life do I want? Now. The first level, the highest level of reverse engineering is what is my environment? Having that experience meaning, what is my physical world that I can see with my eyes and I can taste and I can smell. What does that world look like? That's your first step. So, I call that your environment. Now your next step is okay. What behaviors must I do to create that environment. Because all environments are created through behavior. So first one is environment. And you can even do this, like a ladder. Top of the ladder would be environment. Right below that would be behavior meaning what things must you do to create the environment? Go one level deeper down on the ladder and write the word skills or capabilities. What skills when I need to do that behavior to create that environment. Let's go a level deeper. One more step down and that would be what beliefs. What I need, what would I have to believe to create these skills to create the environment. I'm sorry to create the behaviors to create the environment. So, on the ladder from top to bottom so far, we're going from environment to behavior to skills/capabilities to beliefs. Then we're going to identity. Who? Who would I have to be? Meaning. What are my ways of being, who would I have to be? To create these beliefs. And have these skills. To do this behavior to create this environment. And that environment is the experience of life that I want to have. We can add one more step here. Some may like to stop if you don't like it, that's fine too. You don't have to do it. But. I used to ignore this step many years ago, back in the 90s. And now I think it's one of the most vital steps. And that step is how do I connect with source or divine mind to create this identity. To have these beliefs to have these skills to do these behaviors to have this experience of life that I want. And there's a phrase that I live by in my life. And I'm going to just say it my own way.
I know a lot of people who listen to the podcast are resistant as I am to organized dogmatic, religion. Especially a lot of people are, and there's no good or bad. I mean, you have to do what's good for you. But a lot of people who listen are what more, what I call spiritualist cosmologist. Okay people that are more interested in the evolution of themself, not growth of their 3d human based identity relative to religion. But I, I we're, I honestly work from is I'm a reflection of divine mind. You can say God, whatever the universe. I'm a reflection of divine mind and all things are possible for divine mind. You know, in religion, they say that. You know, there are a reflection of God. On all things are possible for God. So, I know. I know being a part of source energy. What's available to source energy is available to me. And I hold that energy in my essence and my being. When I'm thinking about my identity and my beliefs and my skills/capabilities and my behaviors to create the environment and the experience of life that I want. So. What do you want? And if you're not sure of that, okay what experience of life do you want? Then if you're not sure they're reverse engineer with what I just gave you. So, your transformational takeaway, which I've already really just given you. The question is and think of it that way. Just ponder this first. What experience of life do you want because I think back to Dean? The chef, his name is Dean Ferring. By the way, he owns a restaurant in Dallas now called Ferring’s at the Ritz Carlton. But people can eat anywhere and they can eat all kinds of food. What matters is the experience they want. And the same thing with life. You can live and have all kinds of experiences and you can have all kinds of things in your life. But what experience of life do you want? For me, the experience that I want is to leave the planet a little better than what I found it. For my part for what I can do. I wish to make an impact on people, a positive impact on people. I wish every day I work for opening my heart even more. Loving even more. And exploring ways that I can grow and evolve. And the true experience that I want on the planet is an experience of being in peace, joy, and love the entire time. I'm here. Okay, thanks for listening. And I'll catch you over on another episode. Bye-bye.