Jim Fortin (00:00.234)
You’re listening to the transform your life from the inside out podcast. This is another interview with a former TCP student, a transformational coaching program student. We’re to be talking to Kasha about embodiment and finding the love of your life. So if you’re wanting to strengthen the relationship you’re in, or maybe you’re looking for that special someone, keep listening. Hi, I’m Jim Fortin and you’re about to start transforming your life.
from the inside out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation, and I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you’re going to find no rah rah motivation and no hype, because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you’ve never thought possible. If you’re wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal,
to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I’m glad you’re here. Okay, Kasha, thank you for being here today. I really, really appreciate it. I have not spoken to you and seen you in a while.
And I appreciate you coming here to share your story with people listening.
Thank you for your warm invitation, Jim.
Jim Fortin (01:33.826)
Thank you so much. And by the way, for people listening, you may know I live in Sedona. I’m sniffling a lot right now. I never had allergies until I moved here. So if I’m sniffling during our time together, I apologize. I definitely sound very nasally and I apologize for that. But allergies here, I’ve got to do some self hypnosis on myself because allergies here are something else. And what’s interesting is they got worse and worse every year I’ve lived here.
This year, there were some times like now where I’m like, holy mackerel, now I know what people mean when they say they’ve got allergies because I never had them till I moved here. And I might even look a little pasty white and all that kind of good stuff because my body’s just in a little bit of transition right now. Anyway, Kasha, when were you in TCP?
Ooh, I think I joined in 2019.
several years ago, right? Wow. Six years ago. And many times people go through multiple rounds of TCP. Were you just in one round or did you do multiple rounds?
I was in four in total.
Jim Fortin (02:34.956)
Yeah, many people stay two or three rounds because what happens is after the first round, now they have such epiphany and such awareness and they shuck so much away and now they’re thinking, okay, I see what’s possible for me. Now I want to dive even deeper into myself and my transformation. What brought you to TCP?
Well, I believe it was my desire to find love. And actually I was attracted to your program by the group of my friends from online business world. Many of them decided to join your program exactly at that time. And they suggested I joined too. It wasn’t an easy decision for me. I’ll never forget. I made three cards. On one of them, I wrote TCP.
Two of them I left blank and I said, I’m going to shuffle them, put them on the floor. And if I step on the one with TCP, I’m going to join. I was doubting that I’m going to step on TCP, but that was exactly the one I stepped on because I really struggled to make that decision. Cause I felt that I already went through many programs and self-development trainings. I also read a lot of books before joining TCP. So I thought, I’m not sure I need it.
But that’s how I eventually decided, and I think it was one of the best ideas.
Thank you for that. And what you just said, I often hear, I mean, often people say, I’ve already been through so many other programs and they say, why would I need TCP? And the reality is, and you can share whatever you want. This is not like any other program out there. And it’s changed a lot since you’ve been through it. But until you shift at a core level, at an identity level,
Jim Fortin (04:26.802)
Nothing is going to change for you. Nothing is going to shift for you. And that’s what we work on is shifting at a core level. But it’s so interesting is that you actually let the universe decide, but you said it was a hard decision. Was that because you’ve already been through other work and read books and everything else and you’re thinking, why do I need this? Was that why it was so hard?
Exactly. And I was using my logical mind and analytical mind to talk myself out of this idea and singing, Kasia, it will be waste of money, waste of your time. Why should you prioritize that now when you already have experienced so many shifts in your life and identity before? So yeah, these were the reasons why I struggled.
You know, the thing that you shared about doing so much personal development work prior, many people say, I listened to the podcast, I don’t need it anymore. I get everything there. And as you know, that is not true. And a friend of mine that I also coached many years ago before we were friends, he said, Jim, everything you said, I’ve heard it before, but I didn’t know it at a core level. I couldn’t embody it. I had read it, I heard other people say it, but I couldn’t literally.
learn to live from that place. So I just wanted to share that’s what we do that’s differently is, and if there’s anything you want to add there to that, but that’s what we do differently than pretty much every other program out there is that we talk about, and this is your expertise now, embodiment. What is embodiment in your definition?
embodiment is becoming that person you want to become. And that sounds to me like a code or it sounded to me like a code when you were talking about be do have in that series, be do have. I couldn’t really grasp. What do you mean by saying you first have to be before you do before you have? So for me as an analytical thinker, because I’ve, I’ve, I’ve spent most of my life educating myself and doing
Kasia Krasucka (06:31.618)
bachelor’s degrees, two master’s degrees. So I’m very analytical. I was getting really frustrated, not knowing what you mean. So I understood the words and the concepts, but I really struggled with interpreting into my life. And it finally hit me, took me some time when it hit me that becoming actually is connected with our values, with our
choices with our beliefs. And if that changes, then everything else changes. So embodiment for me is feeling that change within us, not only thinking that change.
Yeah, that’s a great way to put it. And I go even deeper these days and that we are human beings and being human beings. Most of us live our life as human doings. We think we’ve got to do everything and we never look at how we’re being. And that concept came to me many years ago when I heard it and it really hit me pretty hard. But I take it even further back to he’s called America’s business philosopher, Jim Rohn. He’s no longer on the planet. And Jim said,
If you motivate an idiot, you’ve got nothing more than a motivated idiot. And I thought about that and I thought, well, that’s a way of being because in his interpretation of a person as an idiot, no matter what they do, they’re still an idiot. They’re still motivated. And I said, well, what is that way of being? How do we be? And you nailed it. When you talk about being is the embodiment of your core values and your emotions.
And when you be certain ways, you can be angry, you can be happy, you can be sad, you can be many different things. And we wonder why we’re not getting the outcomes that we want. Now back to you, what you wanted to talk about is embodiment and creating relationships. How were you being about love and relationships prior to enrolling in TCP?
Kasia Krasucka (08:39.037)
I kept attracting a very similar type of men, which were not good for building stable loving based on respect relationships. And I could not understand where the problem is because throughout the years, I was in my thirties when I joined TCP. So I was pretty mature young lady.
I had a lot of experience of dating different men and also in different countries. I come from Poland, I lived 10 years in England, and then I moved to Denmark in 2015. So my surroundings were changing, cultures were changing, and so men were changing, but it felt like only faces change, but there is the same pattern. So there was some level of toxicity in every partner that I was finding.
They were abusive. They were cheating. They were disrespectful. And I, I felt really frustrated at some point because I felt like, can it be? I grow so much. I grow academically. also invest into my self growth. I read a lot, consume a lot. I feel like I’m changing, but I still am stuck in this path in terms of love, finding love. And
I feel that TCP helped me finally to embody different qualities in me that helped me attract a loving partner four years ago. And what was the big part of that change was I remember I was on one of your hot seats as well. And I will never forget. I felt so vulnerable there, but also I felt like I don’t know how to ask the right question.
Cause I remember you telling us in TCP guys, remember the quality of answer depends on the quality of your question. That also was the moment when I understood my question is not of the quality I would like it to be. And my question was also showing that my being was not on the level that I would like my partner and relationship to be. So I was, I was evolving. was growing, but somehow.
Kasia Krasucka (11:00.256)
As a woman looking for love, there were parts of me and beliefs that were holding me back in that toxicity.
You know, we have people from all around the world in TCP and we’re probably 60 % women, 70 % women. And many people will say, I’m not satisfied with my relationship. And many times I will ask, what culture do you live in? And the reason why is somebody living in Spain is going to have a different culture than somebody living in Germany. know, Germans, they tend to be, for example, very pragmatic, very process oriented, very
excellence-oriented, almost like an engineer mentality. And then in Spain or Italy or Argentina, you might have an entirely different male mentality. And then that affects how the male shows up or the partner shows up in the relationship. So I always ask that, and I just wanted to share that with people listening, cultures do, even though we’re all the same as human beings, cultures affect the identity. And then what we have to recognize is many times,
certain cultures create particular types of identities and then that filters into a relationship. So you were actually, you said Poland, you said England, you said Denmark. Were you finding any difference in the men in these cultures?
Not in terms of toxicity. So that’s why it was really annoying me. Yeah, I saw and lived cultural differences. I was learning how we are different in terms of culture, but all of them had that common trait, which was being toxic, which was being disrespectful, which was being harmful towards me. So that’s why it was bringing that extreme high level of frustration, because I could see that something
Kasia Krasucka (12:52.994)
goes wrong, not in terms of living in another country and experiencing new culture. Something goes wrong in terms of me attracting this type of man, no matter where I am in the world.
Let me go there for a moment. That’s what I was going to ask you is what do you think it was in you that was attracting that type of person?
I think I was playing small. I was not feeling deserving of love and coming from, we are going back to childhood, but having witnessed violent relationship of my parents in terms of verbal violence, I think that was the pattern that I was used to and subconsciously I was attracting it. I was allowing it.
So if there were red flags at the beginning, they were not red for me. They were like yellow. They would be red for someone who never experienced violence in the past. But for me, they were just like, I can live with that.
Let me add something here. This is really important for people listening, and I mentioned it before, but they might hear it in a different context or different way now. Research has demonstrated that we gravitate towards complementary identities. And what that means is, let’s take the traditional man and woman, male and female. And if a woman has really low self-value, low self-worth, low self-esteem, she’ll attract a partner.
Jim Fortin (14:27.544)
but she won’t attract a partner with high self-esteem. What she will attract is a partner that will verify her identity. Let me break that down even further. If a woman believes she deserves to be abused, she will, through subconscious identity, attract a partner that will abuse her. But on the flip side,
the partner that she attracts will be a partner who believes their partner deserves to be abused. So you’ve got one identity that believes they deserve to be abused. You have the other identity that believes people deserve to be abused. Now you’ve got two complimentary identities working together, creating the toxic relationship. So as you explain this to me, okay, low self-worth, low self-value, and I’m sharing this because a lot of people are resonating probably,
So the low self-worth, low self-value, you were attracting men who literally were okay treating women poorly and the women accepted it because they had low self-worth and self-value and it became a cycle, a merry-go-round. And that’s what a lot of people do and that’s when the toxicity sets in. Does that make sense?
It does make sense, but you know, for me, it felt like an enigma because I was living in this conviction that I have high self-esteem and high self-value. And I was gaining all that proof from the external validation in terms of my growing business and expansive career. So I didn’t feel like a little duckling who lacks self-esteem. I would also
seen as a very confident person.
Jim Fortin (16:15.498)
Many people achieve through low self-esteem, like in the United States, Richard Nixon, former president back in the 70s, Lyndon Baines Johnson. These people achieved through low self-worth and low self-value, which drove them. And if you said to them, do you have low self-esteem? They would say, absolutely not. No, I don’t have low self-esteem. Look at me. I’m the president, when I used to mean something, of the United States. Look at what I achieved.
but they don’t recognize the low self-worth and the low self-value is what drove the achievement. Now, I’m assuming that’s what you discovered in our time together is, holy mackerel, I need to start learning to love on myself because until I do that, I’m gonna be the achiever, but I’m also going to be attracting the wrong people.
Yes. And that’s why, you know, when you live in that conviction that there is no problem, you don’t even look in that direction to find a problem. Because I was not questioning myself worth esteem and self-value. I wasn’t because I was convinced that I have high self-esteem and high self-value. But that’s where TCP helped me to really open the layers of that onion and dive deeper and see, okay, Kasia.
You have high self-esteem as long as it goes well in your business. But if we strip you away from that, if we take that away from you, whom do we have? A woman who crumbles or still the same woman with or without the success? So the answer was completely different.
I coached a woman one time in California. There’s one of the top 10 producing real estate agents in California. And I said, I’m starting to observe a fair amount of low self-worth, low self-value, low self-esteem. And she said to me, Jim, are you kidding me? I’m one of the top 10 real estate agents in California. And I said, I understand that, but here’s what I request you do. Take this assessment. And if you would please send me your results.
Jim Fortin (18:23.074)
She took the assessment and she goes, holy mackerel. I never realized that I do have low self-worth, low self-value and low self-esteem, but I never identified it because I’m such an achiever. So you were doing that and being the achiever that probably was a little frustrating too is why can’t I attract an amazing man? Because look at me, I do well. I’m physically pretty, I work out, I building a business. Why can’t I attract the quality man?
Does that resonate?
for word and I had also people coming to me and saying, Kasia, why are you still single? I met my guy at the age of 38. So I really had a long period of time when people were questioning what is, why are you still single? And I was asking the same question. But I think there was one more aspect that I learned in TCP that helped me attract that loving partner in the end. And that was self-love, unconditional self-love.
Let me add there, about two years ago, towards the end of TCP, we had about, I don’t know, 600 people in TCP at that point. And I said, guys, what is your number one takeaway in our time together? And there are many, but the number one takeaway was, at that point, learning to love and value myself, because that changed everything for me. Please continue with your story about that, though.
And it was learning when I found out that I connect my self-worth with my external validation, with success, et cetera, I realized that I need to work on my self-love. And I discovered that I don’t love myself if I’m not successful. I recognized that if something was going wrong, I started experiencing extremely hurtful thoughts.
Kasia Krasucka (20:22.124)
The ideas, why am I in this world? What’s the point? And everything that was self-destructive, and it was just like a switch of the light. I needed so little triggers in order to go from high to rock bottom in the way how I was seeing myself. And I thought, my God, I connect everything about me with the external world. But who am I without that validation? Can I love myself?
without any success? Can I just be with myself and can I feel happy? Can I feel good about myself without any reason, without having makeup on, without having nice clothes on, without having success? If I strip away all those achievements that I have gathered throughout the years, who is Kasia? Who am I? That led me to asking what type of person would I like to build my life with? And
Do I want to be loved for something? Do I want to be loved for my achievements? Or do I just want to be loved? Because until that point, I was desperately looking for love. So was also looking for love to be validated by those people.
I want to add there, I say it often, the worst possible thing that you can do, anybody can do, is go looking for love. The most powerful thing you can do is be and become lovable. Two very different things. When you’re looking for love, you are needy and you’re putting off a needy frequency and vibration. When you’re lovable, you’re putting off a completely different frequency and vibration.
But so many people, I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want a partner. I want a boyfriend. I want a girlfriend. I want people. And they’ve got this needy energy to them. But look at how they’re being. Now I want to go there, be to have, be in my own life, in my personal relationship. I often ask myself, how am I being? What way must I be in my relationship? And I understand what you’re saying.
Jim Fortin (22:38.7)
because I grew up and I was very driven and I wanted to create and achieve and all these kinds of things. But we can also bring those identity factors into a relationship that sometimes don’t help a relationship. And one day I’m like, how must I be? How do I have to be? And I’ve been in a 22 year relationship. How do I be? And what I had to learn is I must be first before anything else, loving.
passionate, patient, and other things as well. But these are all ways of being that serve the relationship and not some aspect of my own identity. So what would you like to add there about being? And then when you started being, how did you start being? What shifted?
I think the way how you were formulating questions in different modules in TCP, it helped me to peel the onion because I started reversing it. So I started asking myself questions. How should I be in order to attract this and that? And also seeing, how am I being in those relationships when I attract, for example, disrespect? There was also a module on a hundred percent responsibility.
radical responsibility. And I thought, I don’t need this module initially. I thought, Jim, I was like, come on. I was in my thirties. I just bought my first house alone. I thought, responsibility? I can teach you on the responsibility. That was my attitude. Then I dived in and it was such a beautiful moment because I recognized I don’t take responsibility for the men I attract into my life. And
the way how I am being. So if I attract disrespect, I had to ask myself a question, where in life do you show disrespect to yourself? That was the key to this treasure chest. Because then I started, where in my life am I violent towards myself? And that violence can be in terms of working 14 hours a day, not getting enough sleep, not feeding my body with nourishing food.
Kasia Krasucka (24:56.984)
That’s disrespect, that’s That is violence. And I started recognizing it. I started processing it and I started changing it by looking after myself better, by giving myself the gifts that I’ve always wanted to receive from someone like flowers or a nice trip. That started changing. So there came the point when I thought, well, now I don’t really need a man because I started giving all of that to myself, including love and respect and kindness.
And that’s when the man comes. Yeah, that’s when you’re not looking, you meet somebody and you’re like, I don’t really need to meet anybody, but my God, this person just showed up and wow, this is magic. There’s no magic. You shifted on the inside. And when you shift on the inside, everything automatically shifts on the outside.
Absolutely.
When you talk about ways of being and self-talk, let’s go back. How did you talk to yourself prior to us working together? Like what kind of things would you say to yourself?
Your program has helped me first of all to become conscious of how I talk to myself. So before entering TCP, I was not asking myself that question ever. I thought you have those thoughts and they become compulsive thoughts. That was also a key aspect when I was in TCP, realizing that I have a habit of thoughts. The module on habit, when I realized
Kasia Krasucka (26:30.05)
my God, my thoughts are habitual and they’re actually toxic. I’m talking down to myself. Like I was the quickest one to recognize where I could do things better. I was criticizing myself all the time, despite my successes. So that was also the moment when I realized how about you change the way you talk to yourself and about yourself. And also when you talk about yourself to other people.
So that changed into this loving thoughts, kindness, recognizing, okay, this day didn’t go as planned, but I love you. You know, looking into the mirror and looking into my eyes and saying, Kasia, I love you and your way of suggesting literature that we could read that could be an extra to help us in those different aspects of transformation that helped also as well. And you know, those
seemingly small tasks like looking into myself, into my eyes and saying, love you. They were transformative and they were adding that extra layer of kindness, compassion, and love to my life that I was looking for. And I found it in my own house, in my own bathroom, so to speak.
Congratulations, by the way. And yes, TCP is built, I mean, the homework is quite extensive, as you know. It took me years to write it, and it’s all written in ways to expose you to you, to introduce you to yourself. Where are you today in your relationship with somebody in your life?
We have just had the fourth anniversary, so I would say it’s thriving. And I think I still apply many of the tools I’ve learned in TCP. And I learned also when training to become a coach, an embodiment coach later on, once I finished your program, I implement them in our relationship. And I’m lucky enough to have a partner who is conscious enough that he’s willing to dive deeper and
Kasia Krasucka (28:38.752)
He and I, are brave enough to join difficult conversations on a daily basis. So rather than hiding things under the carpet, we talk about them. We don’t avoid difficult topics. We take them as they come.
Those of you listening, most of us avoid difficult topics, which actually is more toxicity and actually breaks down the relationship even more. If you want to become even stronger, you dive into the difficult topics, which in my own relationship, every week we have a check-in that I do okay this week. What did I do? What can I do something better? How can I be better, stronger? How can I be more supportive? And are there things that I might not want to hear that I need to hear?
where I was misaligned this week. So to your point, Kasha, thank you, and for people listening, we tend to avoid the conversations. And the reason why is we’re afraid of abandonment. If we have this difficult conversation, my God, even though we’ve been together 22 years, you’re going to leave me, so I’m going to avoid sharing how I feel and what I think and being vulnerable. There’s no power in that. The power is let’s talk, no judgment, let’s talk.
And that’s where you guys are, correct?
Absolutely. It feels so refreshing when we have those difficult conversations because we grow through them. We don’t agree on every topic. And sometimes, you know, it takes longer than just a five minute chat to agree on something. Sometimes we disagree, but we can still respect each other. And what is also beautiful, I’m not saying that we never fight. We have fights, but we both
Kasia Krasucka (30:22.764)
We don’t dwell in those fights.
Healthy fights can be very healthy for a relationship. Fights, disagreements, whatever you want to call them. For many years, my partner and I never fought. And a therapist is like, that’s not healthy, because we weren’t expressing our needs. So where we work from now is you listen. You listen with an open mind and an open heart. And then if you want to suggest things for the other partner to work on, what we also bring in is accountability.
Did I do what I say I’m going to do this week? Did I follow through with example? Just crazy, that’s not pertaining to us, but I said I was gonna take better care in the house. Did I unload the dishwasher like every day when I said that I would? And if you don’t do it, I give you permission to hold me accountable for that. I won’t get mad, I won’t get angry, we won’t fight about it because you know what, you’re right. I gave you permission to hold me accountable.
to do the laundry or the dishes or whatever it is. Do you do that in your relationship?
Absolutely. We hold each other accountable to things and we are open to admit we made a mistake. We can say, I’m sorry and admit that we said something wrong. We misunderstood something. Sometimes there come also extra aspects of misunderstandings because of our languages. Danish is not more mother tongue. We can sometimes get lost in translation. But what I find like a secret ingredient in this love sauce is
Kasia Krasucka (31:56.216)
That willingness to hear each other, listen, and that willingness to, okay, I don’t get it. I feel like I misunderstood it. I actually did because we had a fight. I misunderstood it. I admit it. Let’s come back to it and try to see if we can find a common ground. Let’s try to see where did it go wrong and how can we fix it? And I think also when we met, we agreed that
We are going to respect each other no matter what. That is like our core value to respect and give each other freedom and understood in the way I support you in your ways, what is important for you, you support me in my ways, what is important to me. We also met as adults. I was 38, he was 42 when we met. You know, we had a lot of life experience and many like kind of paths that were already the kind of quite deep.
for us to just change it because somebody said, I don’t like it. So that mutual understanding and willingness to listen and respect each other, I think that’s what helps us to go through any fight and find that love at the end of the day.
That’s how we operate in my relationship, ours, is the core value, the number one core way to be is respectful of the partner. And we recognize that when we’re respectful, we might not agree, but we respect the opinion or the emotion or the sharing or whatever it is. That is the foundation. Because if you’re not being respectful, your relationship is not gonna work.
So what it’d be fair to say that your biggest takeaway in our time together in TCP was being respectful to yourself, learning to love yourself, learning to value yourself. So what do you want to share with people about your experience? You can say anything you want. I didn’t pay you to be here. I’m not telling you what to say. Is there anything you want to share with them for people that might be not yet interested?
Jim Fortin (34:05.368)
people that maybe had recidivit on the fence about enrolling in TCP.
I feel that the story that I shared is a proof enough to be an incentive for them, but there are so many blind spots that we enter TCP with the conviction. I know what my blind spots are. I know what I want to work on. So I entered TCP thinking I’m going to find the love of my life. But I had a partner in mind. What I left TCP with.
was finding the love of my life, which turned out to be love to myself. And that was this secret ingredient that helped me ultimately to create a loving relationship later on in life. So when you enter TCP, you might think, I know many answers to my questions. I read a lot. I understand a lot, but understanding is not being understanding is not living what you understand. And
I remember also you were giving us this example, guys, you have to know the difference between understanding and knowing. And that was annoying me, Jim, so much because with my analytical mind, again, I was like, what does he mean? What does this guy mean? Like, I have a feeling I understand and I know. And then when I finally knew, I came with a metaphor that helped me connect the dots. So.
I would say, I understand what being pregnant is. I understand that, but I don’t know it because I’ve never been pregnant. Right. And that’s the core difference. And the same is when we think, yeah, I understand that concept. I am that. Well, no, you might understand it, but as long as you don’t know it, you are not gonna manifest situations, relationships, opportunities in your life. You might not manifest the life of your dreams.
Kasia Krasucka (36:04.854)
as long as you understand but don’t know. And I think that’s what TCP also helps us in or with.
Yeah. And you know, it’s interesting is understanding and knowing so many people when they enroll the first week, I say, forget everything you think, you know, even if you think you understand every bit of it. And a lot of people are hard headed. Don’t tell me I already know all this. And that’s why I do a lot of what we call zigzagging. When you zig, I zag. And when I zag, you zig. And I do it to keep throwing people off to get them to let go of their illusion that they understand things.
Thank you for being here. Where can they find more about you?
You can find me, for example, on the website transformwithkasha.com.
Kasha, K-A-S-I-A, right? Transform is it the whole word with, and we’ll drop it in the show notes, transformwithkasha.com, correct?
Kasia Krasucka (37:01.144)
That’s correct. And I have also a little gift for your listeners, a 10 minute meditation to increase, to change the level of your vibration. So if you want to vibrate on a higher frequency, that will be a beautiful tool for you to use. We can include it in notes.
How do they get that?
Perfect. I will tell the team we’ll put in the shutouts. Kasha, thank you for being here today. What a beautiful story. For all of you guys listening, my lighting is off today. I look pasty white. I’m nasally today, but you know what? I’m being committed. I showed up. So I appreciate you guys listening. And in my opinion, this is a really good conversation because what we talked about resonates with a lot of people. Thank you again, Kasha.
Thank you, Jim.