You're listening to episode number 48 of the transform your life from the inside out podcast. Okay, this is a transformational story episode. And in this episode I visit with a student of mine, her name is the doc and Id UK. And she's going to tell you that she prior to working together had an identity of illness. She was trapped in her money stories, she was not putting her business out, because because she thought she'd be judged for her name, therefore, she was hiding behind her name. And her relationship was having some serious challenges. She went from all of that, as you will hear in this episode, from all of those challenges to a life of wellness, a life of prosperity, her business is growing, amazingly, and she's in a much better relationship. And I'm sure as you're listening, a lot of what she has to say and how she transformed her life will resonate with a lot of you. So it's a fascinating story. Keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life. from the inside out with this podcast. I'm widely considered a leader in subconscious transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, for feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. And this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Niduk's Journey: Moving Attention Away From Pain to Find Success
Okay, so on today's transformational story podcast, I'm talking Niduk who is a student of mine, and she's been one now for For how long Niduk have you been with me,my programs?
I started with you in January.
Really? Is that soon. Okay, I thought it was longer than okay. So well, half a year, I guess there about.
A little longer. And you wanted to talk about what we want to share with people listening so that they can take away from you and your experience. And they can start creating transformation in their own life. You want to talk about how you and we'll get to what we can get to you want to talk about how your health identity has shifted with your chronic endimetriosis big word, and how you're feeling better, how you've shifted your money, mindset, how you released your fear of judgment of other people, how your relationship has improved with your husband, and how even what you just mentioned, your business is growing. And you did an event yesterday, and you had 20 people sign up with you, which you've never had before. So let's start there. Let's tell people your story about each one of these. And let's keep it short because of time. So let's start with identity about health. What does that mean? And what's, where were you? And where are you now?
Right? So I have endometriosis. I've had it since I was 15 years old. And for women, they would understand what this is. It's where your endometrial tissue grows outside of your uterus. And in my case, it was actually quite debilitating. And I have been in and out of hospitals with surgeries since I was 25. Sort of every every couple of years going in for surgery where they would go in and they would, you know, clear out all the scar tissue growth. And as I an over the years, organ removal was never something that I actually wanted to consider. Because I wanted to I've always wanted to try and manage it. Sure. And so part of the pain management of that was was surgery. Going through chemical menopause, which again, I've been doing since I was 25. And so it's it's been it's been really hard on my body.
What's been really interesting for me, I realized was that I have since I was 15. carried the identity of being someone who was sick.And so
what does that mean? Break that down.
So the identity of being someone who's sick. So in my case, what happens when I have flare ups in the past is I would just stay in bed. Because it was very, it was physically very difficult for me to get up and get going. I was on so many pain meds, I mean, you know, oxy cotton or Percocet? And I'm not sure what you guys call it in the state
Same thing.Yeah. So and it's just more expensive here. So what I hear I'm, I'm neither but I hear it's more expensive and price here with our sky high. Health insurance rates we keep on going. Okay,
So, yeah,that was part of the, the cocktail that I was on?
For for pain management,
for how long? How long? Were you on that?
Oh, my gosh, I've been on and off of it since I was 25. Wow, when when they actually sort of really began to take my pain seriously. Because what they hadn't realized was when my very first surgery, and that was when they actually realized how bad my pain was, is my, appendix had been sort of closed off from where, from where it was. And normally, that's, the precursor to your appendix rupturing.
And so, they were like, Oh, my gosh, how could you not come into the hospital before that, right. So let's just give you a sense of like, how much pain I was in constantly, but not also being able to even differentiate life threatening pain. Because, because it was just every day, so.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. So what you're saying is that you were used to the pain?
Yeah. It was my Every day,
Okay, because I know, I don't know, the breakdown of males to females listening. So a lot of guys are like, well, I don't have endometriosis. But you know what, there are a lot of guys that have something else. And I've seen that a lot where people have actually learned to live with the pain and their entire day is pain. And you don't even really know they're in pain because they've learned to live with it.
right. Okay, so I want to, I want to go further there, because this is a big deal. Where are you now with pain?
Right. So, I have to say so. So living with pain, I was one of the reasons why they didn't take me seriously was because I was high functioning, I managed to find spaces of being high functioning, living with the pain.
Okay, come a little closer to your mic, if you could, please. there we go. Perfect. Okay.
So when being high functioning with it, I, what I would do is I used to, like, have spurts of like, really, really intense activity in my business or whatever it is that I was doing. And then I would crash because my body just couldn't take it. And I would be out for a few days. Okay. Well, what happened when I started working with you, Jim. And it was incredible, because you introduced us to the master thought formula. And I began shifting my identity from being someone who was someone who's sick.
Hang on, what would a person say in your case? What were you saying to yourself about that identity? What was your talk about being sick?
Oh, I can't do anything I need to rest. I was. I like, I it's one of the reasons why I have like, it was my, it was also my reason for the dips in my business as well.
And then there was most definitely a correlation. Because when I, when I had my flare ups and my flare ups were pretty intense and a flare up. It's pretty intense.
I have chronic pain all the time. But the difference of how I was being, as you have helped us to identify was being someone who was sick, and it was all consuming. Like, I could do nothing else other than be sick.
So you were a professional, sick person.
Yes. Crazy. Like, yeah, and so. And but it's interesting, because, again, a professional sick person, as you said, who still got through the day and got a lot done. And so it was hard for people to take me seriously. When I would end up in ER, and
when you look fine, no, right? And what's wrong with you? You look fine today. And you're doing this, you're doing that? What do you mean, you're sick? Right,
Exactly. Right. But I was also popping so many pills. That's the other thing, right? Because that was that was part of the pain management.
And so it was amazing. Because, you know, I began in January, and I must have listened to master thought Formula Three times a day, which I'll tell
you guys what that is, in a moment. Keep on going.
Okay, so I had it on my phone. I had it on my computer. And it was incredible, because I remember sitting down and having a conversation with my husband about a month into working with you. And we were talking about how I hadn't actually spent any time in bed. higher month of January.
I mean, sick time in bed. Right?
Right. Like I wasn't under, like, I wasn't with my laptop under the today. I was actually I was I had just shifted, I had started to move my attention away from it. It's not to say that my my pain went away. But because I shifted my identity so much. I didn't allow it to also consume me the way that it could.
And it was doing prior.
Yes. Hundred percent.
Yeah. But by the way, I don't know where you're going with this and a good way. So I'll give everyone listening. I have no idea. But we've not talked personally, even though she's in my program. I have no idea where she's going to go with this. And I'm curious about it. So let's keep let's keep on going. Okay, so you're out. You're out of bed. You're not under the day. This is one month in with me. By the way, everyone listening. what she's doing is people hear me a lot of my programs say is we have to learn to move our attention. Because our attention is where we are. And that can even pretend to pain which is the way that she used it. Okay, keep on going.
And so what ended up happening with me was I actually in February a month and I started to stop taking my pain meds
Now let's hang on here. So my to cover my butt. I am not a doctor,
Your not a medical practitioner.
I'm not a medical practitioner .I never told you at any point. nod your head and say yes,
Yes absolutely you never told me to stop taking my meds.
I never told you. Stop taking my pain. We never discussed it not even wink wink one person we know we really didn't discuss anything at all. Okay, ever.
You never told me to do that.
I decided that I actually did not need to take the pain meds with it. Let me rephrase with the frequency with which I was taking it.
I didn't need to take it with the higher dosages that I was taking?
And so I began to sort of wean myself off. And it it was really interesting for me, as you know, wearing my entrepreneurial hat.
Hang on,before you go on. I want to go there. Were you having side effects of the medication? Were you groggy or dizzy or Okay. Like, what kind of side effects were you having?
So,you know, when you wake up in the morning, and you wake up with like a fog, you maybe had a heavy night, or you're still a little bit tired. Like you could probably snooze for a few more hours, right? The best. The best explanation for me is NyQuil. If you've ever taken NyQuil, and you wake up in the morning, you're still a little bit like dosy.
Yeah, got it. So you went through your day like that, right?
Yeah. And so definitely not a morning person.
I get it.
So what was interesting was that I started, actually, and I remember you saying this, in one of the calls, you know, how you show up in the program in TC is how you show up in life.
And I was so committed to working with you. I was showing up in the program. But I began showing up in my business in a completely different way. Because I wasn't showing up being sick.
Well, let me add there.
You know what I mean.Is that make sense.
Yeah, yeah, me out there. everyone listening, even though I see I don't know where this interview is going to go. Because I don't know her end result. And even though she's working with me, she has the opportunity to speak up every week if she wants or ask questions, but she's not so and that's fine, too. That's perfectly fine. I just didn't, I want everyone to know, it's like you're not hidden in a crowd somewhere. And I don't see you. I mean, I see you physically on every call. But you're not for some reason. It's great. You're not you know, you're not obviously needing or wanting any coaching every week at this point, because you're doing really well. So okay, so I just want to tell you guys that because she's not like this, see if people and she's hitting in the back row. Okay, so I'm curious where this episode's gonna go. So let's keep on going to show it, you're showing up at work. And
yeah, so I started showing up in my, in my business in a very different way. And I had started doing I had started working, building online training programs, which is a new endeavor for me.I traditionally at my last practice was a consulting practice. We spent a lot of time working in with NGOs. That was our principal, nonprofits.
Yeah, I remember
Yeah, internationally. And so, you know, I I began to be able to once I realized I had sort of, and it was a little bit unconscious, my shift my health identity shift, because I just started showing up in my business in different ways. It wasn't conscious. The
it happened over time is what happened that have working with me and I want to lead you a little here because there's a lot I want to cover with you. This is really good stuff. Okay, so let me leave you a couple of places here. So your identity was of being a sick person when we met. recap for everyone take this apart even further. Okay. Your identity was being a sick person. What is your identity now relative to your health?
It's something of the past like I just I don't spend time in bed. I, I still have endometriosis. But it doesn't control me. It doesn't consume me. But I'm not a sick person.
Okay, good lets stop okay
I just happened to have endometriosis.
Okay, let's go a little further here because I want to coach you a little on that. Secondly, is how are you? Or what level? Are you with your pain medications?
I'm on nothing.
Okay. But how are you feeling physically?
Physically? I'm good. I'm good. I'm not 100% pain free. But yet yeah, yet, but I,where I'm at physically with my pain doesn't shift doesn't change how I show up in other parts of my life.
Okay, let's go here for a second. Yep, yep, I get it. And sorry. And for you listening. I'm not trying to rush her. But we have a lot to cover. And I want you to hear more of her story. And we only have so much time or we'd be here till four o'clock today. So that's why I'm moving a little faster. What I want to insert here is that I taught you self hypnosis, how to use the power of your mind to heal. I don't know to what degree you've been using it but knowing you you probably have, right
Yeah.So that that was okay. So between master thought, formula, yeah. And the hypnosis and the meditation. They have been my go toos again, three times a day, and I still do it almost every day. So it is very much, you know, hand on hand on stomach going. my uterus is healthy.
Talk. You're talking. You're talking to your body also like Haiti, right?
Yeah, I was,go ahead.
in it for me. As I as I visualize it, my pain sort of disappearing. It, it helps me to actually release the stress. And my pain does disappear.
Yeah, let me add there. And I'm so glad to hear that. So let me add there for a second for people listening. And you probably have heard me say this before. But the Stanford Institute of mind brain research has discovered many years ago, that the number one use, and you can call it power, let's just call it power of the mind, self hypnosis, whatever you want to call it. The number one use of that power of the mind, which I've taught you is pain, physically, pain alleviation or elimination. So what I'm telling you is, I noticed something here, a little coaching for you here. When we first started within one minute, you said, and I was listening to you very carefully, like I do when I coach, you know, Coach, you and coach people. You said, I have chronic endometriosis, a different way. And when I heard that I made a note and I circled it. And you can see right here where I circled the word have on this piece of paper.
What you didn't say is I had chronic endometriosis, which tells me at some small level, you're still hanging on to the identity, even though you've eradicated the symptoms of that identity. So what I would share with you next is to go from not having and managing and being fine with it. But going from it doesn't exist in your body anymore. Does that makes sense?
So for you and your workshop of the mind, which for those of you listening, it's probably I've taught people in my programs, where you go is in the third video screen of the workshop of the mind, you're going to look at your life. And you're going to say you're going to imagine you're in a conversation. And you're going to say, you know what, yes, I used to have that also, and I no longer do. I am 100% healthy. So let's, let's go ahead and go on from the identity of Being Well, like you said earlier, let's shift it instead of 99%. Let's shift at 100%. You got that? Right?
Absolutely. per hundred percent. I love this. I'm getting coaching here, too.
I'm sayingthis. And I'm like, let's take you all the way because, as you know, and Katie's demonstrated, as you know, we can heal our bodies. I mean, we can with our mind, our mind is he is the number one pharmacy in the world. Yet what most of us do is we give our Bart our body over to pharmacology. Excuse me, I'm going to call it here for a second, I'm going to put us on mute. Okay, I am back. And we did not have that. So what most of us do is we give our bodies to Western medicine and pharmacology, which for many people, and this is not, this is a defensible statement. If you look at people taking pharmaceuticals, I once heard someone say there are no safe drugs, because every drug you take to heal something breaks down something else in the body. Right?
Absolutely.And the medication I was on was, you know, the side effects wereliver damage, like on a very serious level that I had to go get blood work every month and I'm like, why am I doing this? This is crazy.
Exactly. And I even see people I saw this ad recently for eyelashes. You take a pharmaceutical and I'm like why would you destroy your liver to grow eyelashes But anyway, I'm somebody might be doing that. And they're yelling at me and throwing there? What I don't know. But here's where I want to go. Okay, so. So I've noticed in you so where we go to with you and everyone listening, if we never talked about what I'm talking about now you still have a phenomenal story. And what's possible for you is possible for anyone else providing they know how to use and she's actually like, Oh my god, yes it is and watching her face, providing like in Katy and other people, providing they know how to use the power of their mind. Because I didn't I didn't have like this magic wand and the coaching program and go, you know, the duck, here I come ZSazam Boom, and the bolt of lightning and you're like I'm healed. You know, that never happened.
Never happened.I kind of attest to thatBut it kind of feels like a dead.
But you did it. You're the wizard. You did the work using your unconscious mind. Now I want to go here, we spent a lot of time and that's great. I have this is awesome. But you talked about a lot of things. And I want to make sure we can cover some other things. Because a lot of people are dealing with health, we've covered that. And their takeaway is you can heal no matter what you have, you can heal. I haven't read the book. But I've heard about it. It's been endorsed by some people, I really truly. And I think the books called dying to be me about this woman's body was just covered in tumors. And she was very, very sick. And she healed herself by completely shifting her emotional states and moving her attention. Now I don't know if she moved her attention, per se and the way I teach it because I haven't read the book. And I want to point out for everyone listening because they know it. It's a thread. It's a common theme in the podcast, I learned all this power of the mind stuff through science and with the shaman, my brother in law about how we heal ourselves and how we heal and how we create from the inside out. Now creating money. Let's talk about that. You people people are like,
Oh, my gosh,
let's talk about it.
No, you know, it's crazy. So because I've, for the last 1718 years now I've been working with nonprofits and charities.I realized,
For people don't get rich running or whatever, right? Okay,
No, and it's I and I, I didn't even realize that I had a money scarcity issue. Yeah, maybe people around me realizes I did. But I myself I like I didn't, I didn't realize that it was actually a really big block in my head money.
Now Hang on, let's take that apart. When you said I didn't realize I had a money scarcity issue. break that down into real life scenario for you.
so what Couldn't you do?
So I could never charge what I was worth.
I always charged what people what I thought people could afford or what they told me they wanted to pay.
Okay. Got it. You're letting the market drive your value on it.
Yeah, don't ever do that. And I. And while I understood that people didn't do that. I I also gave meaning to the fact that I couldn't charge what I felt I was worth
Hang on. So were you saying, Okay, let me back up two steps here. Number one is whatever we value ourself as on our business or ourselves. We take, let's say, for example, let's use some numbers. Let's say that I put something out there, and I could really the market would bear 100 or more than that, but I say, Okay, my value is $10. So the market says, okay, some part of the market will say, okay, we will pay you $10. Now, you use that to verify, see, I'm only worth $10. Okay, good. So you get that. And
Absolutely.I'll tell you really quickly, a fantastic story, actually. So I had a client that I sent through my invoice, we had sort of agreed a budget of around $20,000. And so at the end of the, at the end of the consultation where we're
Wait, wait, you sort of agreed or you agreed,
No we agreed.
Okay, got it. Okay,
We agree that the budget was going to be 20,000 dollars. Got it. Okay. And then what ended up happening was is I sent through the invoice, we did this amazing, amazing project together. The client came back to me goes, Oh, I only have $15,000 do you think we could reduce your invoice to 15? And I did not even hesitate?
Wait, wait, wait, the old you would have said what?
The old me basically was like, immediately Oh, sure, no problem. Didn't even it didn't even faze me. And it. And it wasn't until we were going through, you know, the week on money and sort of our identity around around money, because we spend a lot of time talking about it in the group's you know, I, I was looking back at the story and just sort of face palming myself going, Oh my gosh, Niduk, you know, you literally let money like I was repelling it. Rather than, you know, living in the abundance that I know that it does exist, because I attached meaning that my clients can't afford to work with me, unless I let them dictate what I'm worth,
let me let me go there for a second. So I had somebody tell me recently, I did a podcast interview that I was on their podcast, and they said, Jim, you should be charging $100,000 from one to one coaching, because of some of the people that I've coached. I mean, they're eight and nine figure earners. And when I told him, I was only charging 2000 an hour to coach which a lot of people listening are going, are you kidding me? 2000 bucks an hour, are you crazy, you know, and other people like, oh, not a big deal. But But we, I been there where we placed these values on ourself. And I'm going to share with you which you've already learned and everyone listening. For the most part, the more money you charge, the easier, the easier your clients are to work with. Because they already know what to expect they can afford you they work at that level. And when people try to discount you down, or they want you to cheap as possible price, if you could see her facial expressions, she gets it through the hardest people to work with. So where I work from, and you're, I think you're there and we're going to talk about this where I work from, is here's the investment to work with me one to one, it's not group groups, very, I think very affordable. And I did it for a reason. But the one to one is at least $25,000 for just 12 calls with me. And if somebody wants to do it, that's great. And I'm going to qualify because I want the right people to work with. And if they don't, it's fine that you know what, there's someone else that can work with you. But years ago, I used to be like, Well, you know, okay, yeah, I can reduce it to and back then as a lot less Yeah, I can reduce it to this or that. And I was reducing my my own value and my own worth in me when I did that. I'm quickly interrupting this episode, because I want to share something with you that can transform your life. Want to tell you about my upcoming no charge a live online training on September the fourth, it's called the be to have series, a three part live training to transform your life from the inside out. If you're not getting the results that you want in life or business, then you're most likely working backwards, you're working from the outside in. And this training will turn all of that around for you. There's going to be an amazing giveaway at the end of the three part series. And it's going to be a $3,000 Prize. So make sure that you're signed up, you can sign up at Jim 14 dot com slash be do have. And the link is in the show notes. And then my Instagram bio, enjoy the rest of this episode. Now, let's go to you when you say no, I can't reduce it. How do you feel about that?
And okay, so this leads into my fear of judgment.
I used to want to please everyone.
Right. And so, and I was scared I used to be scared of, creating. I'll say conflict. I'm not sure if that's the right word. But I was afraid that if I said, No,
they wouldn't like you with what you were afraid of? Yes.
Right. And that they were going to begin to judge me. Yep. And so, and I didn't realize that those two were even connected. Yeah. until I started working with you. And I remember Jim. So I was actually on a hot seat with you very early on in January. I remember. And, and in that
week or so. Yeah, very Yeah.
And and then that hot seat. I actually. So when I was starting my online business, I did a bunch of ICA calls or avatar calls to get to know who my ideal client was. And some of the feedback I was getting. From these people that I were calling were around my name. And I created
remember this call that even before you go there wasn't you created this crazy scenario in your mind that because people were going to judge you because of your name. You weren't going to put yourself out there because people would think less of you because you had this name. And so you are going to put yourself out there I remember that call. Yes,
Yes.And it was crazy. Because I, you know, you you actually walked me through going well, what do you really want to do? Do you actually want to help? Or? Or do you want to just, you know, like, not do anything at all and hide
behind and hide behind your name and people that are going to? By the way, what percentage of people anyway, are in this world we live in today are going to think anything about your name, right? I mean, even a global economy, despite what the nationalism going on in the us right now we live in a global world. Yeah. Okay, so.
And so it was, it was crazy. Like I look, I realized how crazy it is.
And how I allowed the voices of a few people, people who struggled with my name, how I allowed that to dictate almost two years of me not moving forward in this online business training program.
And by the way, this way, the Hangout, by the way. For Jason, also his interviews going live. And you know, Jason, because he's in the program as well. And you know, that he let somebody tell his wife, he didn't deserve his Olympic medal, and that kept him down from helping people for 10 years. So you let these people and I want to take this to you, you let these people who were not paying your visa bill, and we're not paying your rent, influence you hiding in your apartment, or wherever you live, and allowing you to not go out, or they were affecting you in a way so you weren't going out. And you weren't helping more people in the world with your skills, because you were hiding behind the opinions of maybe 10 people
sent 100% That's exactly what I realized I did when I got on the call with you, because I created all these stories. And it wasn't even the name that you know, like it like I I had blown it up into all kinds of reasons why I couldn't move forward. That's why I remember that I'm, by the way, when she said Hot Seat when I do group coaching. People are obviously every call is a coaching call. There's homework prior, and then I take live like the doc and we start talking and I remember that call. What what was one of the things you were saying to yourself about your name that they might say to you that you were making up in your mind?
Oh, that. So if they ever received an email from me, they wouldn't open it because it sounded foreign. So you know, or, you know, they would they would throw me, find me online and troll me. And I do know, you know, I like I have dealt with trolls. So I know that they're there. But I know they don't need to engage with that. And that's what I learned is that I don't need to engage with it. I just need to put myself out there. Because there's so many more people that actually benefit from learning from me. And I have more evidence of that than I do with people who sort of push back.
And let me add there. And I might have already said this another podcast, I got one of my students from Australia two weeks ago, and I'd forgotten about it till right now. She said there is somebody in Australia warning people about you. She says that you have a criminal record and you have changed your name. I'm like, okay, I've heard a lot of stuff. What are you talking about? And she goes, she's warning people all over Australia about you. But don't worry, she's that she's done that to other people before? Oh, yeah. And I'm like, Are you kidding me? Really, anybody? Any of us can get online and you can google anybody's name, you can find the history or much, you know, and I was like, Oh, my God. And you know, years, many years ago, I would have been like, Oh, no, that's not true. And I hope that I hope that nobody hears that because I don't want to affect people because I want to help you. this day and age. I'm like, I thought about it for like 10 minutes. I'm like, done. All right. Let it go. Let it go. Right. What I Why would I even engage with that troll wanting this. Obviously, person is not playing with a full deck or whatever. Or maybe has some kind of chemical. And I don't know, I should leave, I'm going to leave that alone and leave that behind. But I want everyone to hear hear everyone to hear hear us talking that the dude was paralyzed. And I remember that call not putting yourself out in the world. And you're putting yourself out and what happened yesterday?
Oh my gosh. So I so yesterday, I actually did a live event. And at the conclusion of life event, I signed up 20 new customers
gonna pay you money.
You would have hit from last December.
I yes. Oh, my gosh, I would never have done it last December, let alone or I would have done it. I just would never have have also made an offer to them. To come and actually work with me because I was so wrapped up in, in, in my fear of like, oh, what if I'm not good enough for? And like creating all these crazy stories and my name?
What about crazy names? I'm gonna see a crazy name. Do you? Have you ready? Okay. Oprah? What if Oprah Winfrey never should like my name? Sounds like Oprah. I can't put myself out there. Because my name is Oprah. You know, I mean, come on here.All right.
So no, it's so it's so crazy. But this is the thing that I that I also realized, Jim is, you know, when I looked at, and we spend a lot of time also talking about alignment with what we're doing. And so what I actually realized was that I have, like, my, my alignment in my business also speaks to people who have names like me, are also people of color who want to continue to see, you know, and hear from the from, from people who who are immigrants, who are successful entrepreneurs, who have lived with, you know, chronic illness who, who are women. And so it was interesting, because I realized that, you know, for me, when we talk about alignment and niches and, and all of that in our own businesses and in our lives, I realized that one of the reasons why I was also paralyzed was because I wasn't seeing enough people that looked like me, that sounded like me that had similar stories as stories. And yeah, I mean, the stories we tell ourselves, Oh, my gosh,
we talked about we do a whole week of stories and TCP, my program. And so obviously, that busted your life open in a good way. And Jason's and Katie's. And, you know, other people that I have interviewed, or like Marcus and I will interview Yeah,absolutely.
And you know, your podcast, I think it was the third or fourth podcasts you did on stories.
I, because when I send out your podcast to everybody, and it was incredible,right.
Right. Yeah. But it was, it was amazing. Because everyone that I sent it to, you know, they they actually got to Episode Three. And they were sort of hanging there because they couldn't quite get over how many stories they were telling them. Yes. Right.
Yeah. Let's go back here. The very good of our time together is you told Okay, number one, you've told us a story now for 41 minutes. Okay, so now everyone listening notice how powerful story bear? I love that. years ago, she would have been like, curl down below the DV going well, I think it was an okay story. I don't know, what's my story, okay. And now she's like, it's a powerful story. And I love that. And yes, everything. Let me let me share here. One of my one of my transformational coaches once said to me, many years ago, I wanted to create something and my coach said, That's easy. And he started laughing at me. And I'm like, What? He goes, change your story. I'm like, oh, what's her body language watching, you know, you now? Hang on. So he's like, it's all a story. And he goes, who says you can't have X, Y, Z yet? As a piece of real estate and one of the by cash. And it was over a million bucks. This is many years ago. And I said, Well, I don't have the cash. And I don't want to do a mortgage. And it goes, it's just a story. Now I'm buying, you know, nice properties, as you know,
One time in Sedona
Exactly. But you know what, it's all stories. It's all stories, and even your story. Let's recap here, then I want to go one more place with you. Your story about your health and how you felt was dependent upon your story. Your Money asking people yesterday was all a story, putting yourself out there, the stories that you used to have about your name, and that you now have about your name? And I don't even know if you will you have but you recognize that your name, actually, a new story is your name is a benefit to what you do for the people that you work with.
Okay, yes. 100%. And this is and this is the thing, so I actually want to say so. Sure. Um, my parents are originally from Sri Lanka, okay. And my name Niduk is actually a Buddhist name. And it's a beautiful name in Buddhism, because it actually stands for happiness. And in Buddhism in Sanskrit, they waited they say it, it's like, Ni du ka so Nias a no and Duk is no sadness, Duka is sadness. So you always wish upon someone, you know, health, wealth and happiness. And so my name is happiness. Right? But I couldn't even embrace that.
Which I now do, which is crazy. It's so crazy. When I actually think about the nonsense in my head sometimes. Right? Well, then just letting it go. And then just letting it go.
You could change your name to Frederica Murphy. Mercury, from that Friday friggin Freddie Mercury. Exactly. But let me add there. I've never told the story very, very quick. And we're going to keep going with you is I don't anymore, but many years ago, I used to thank God. I've got like, the most boring name in the world. I mean, Jim, come on. I mean, why couldn't I have like a really cool name? Like, I don't know, Carter, or Blaine or Blair, you know, what, why, why did I get stuck with a 1960s? Name? I mean, might as well just call me Bob. You know, sorry, Bob, if any 30 Bob's listening, but I'm like, literally years ago, it's like I got a boring name. Now, it's like, Who cares? I don't like to think about it. But I want to go somewhere else.
It's so true. And just for your listeners, Jim I mean, you know, for because because a lot of a lot of South Asian Southeast Asians that I know, do tend to have an Americanized name.
As well, right? Because there's a perception that it's easier. And so rather than entertain that, so I mean, embrace the name is, is my new story, like, embrace who you are, there's no reason to hide it.
This is something I'm probably going to do an episode on. And James Wedmore one time, we're good friends. And we were talking. And it goes, my wife and I were looking for a new piece of art for the living room. And you hear me talk about my brother in law a lot and the programs but not about him, but about teachings from him to you guys. Yeah, and I own them, but I shared them with you guys also. And one of the most powerful things he ever said to me, I remember exactly where I was, and I don't have time for the story now. But he said, just be and James and his wife want to turn that into art. And when you think about just be be whoever or whatever you are, and just be that as well as you can, everything's going to be fine. Yes, we're always trying to not be who we are, we're trying to be, I saw really quick here, I gotta be very careful. So I don't mention a name. I was at this really big speakers event a lot of years ago. And I took my NLP trainer who's who's a little seasoned and age right now. And she's about 80. But she literally has coached American presidents when they were in office. And we've been friends for a lot of years, she was my NLP trainer. And she said to me about the speaker, who's very, very big, now very, very big name,
She said, he is so busy trying to be a so and so another speaker, that he is a second rate speaker, because he's not being himself. And if you just be you and a who you are, guess what, people somewhere in the world and some socio-economic, some demographic, people are going to resonate with you. So why not just be you.
And I will add to that last night and my live event, the greatest compliment I received was how authentic I was.
Even with your name. Right,
And for those of you that are only listening, I'm watching her smile. And her body language tells me that she's not just up here, jabbering. I mean, she's owned this at a core level, and she is this person who is showing up in the world. Okay, a few more minutes. But one place I want to go, we've only got about five, six minutes left, maybe a little longer. but and how has your relationship changed with your husband?
Oh, my gosh, it's been amazing. I, you know, one of the beautiful thing about your podcast, Jim, is that now I can share you with him. And you're not this like Jim character, like, Who's Jim
Reader, which I've been called also, and all this, okay, I got.
And so what it's allowed us to do is to be able to grow together, as I have been changing. And, you know, it's always a scary thing, I think in relationships, I was married previously, and, and in my last marriage, you know, we didn't grow in the same direction.
Let me let me add there. What I tell people, I'm sure you've heard me say this, and it's in one of my programs that you guys get, as an addendum to what we're doing is the relationship is only as strong as the identities in the relationship. And the more dissimilar the identities are, the weaker the relationship is. So what happens a lot of times, which has happened to you and we see a lot in my programs, is one person will grow and the other person is either forced to all grow, or the relationship many times will split or something's going to happen. So what happened was, is early on with you, I'm guessing is you started growing and he wasn't. And your relationship didn't get stronger until he also started growing and started identifying as a person who grows. Is that fair?
Yeah, absolutely. And it was. So you know, there's the podcast you did with James Wedmore. That those podcasts, and I remember when I actually first came across you, Jim, it was actually in September of last year, so it's about a year ago. Okay. So while I started coaching with you in January, I actually tell people you've been in my life since September, okay. Because, because I listened to those those episodes you did with with James Wedmore. And, and actually, my husband was listening to them as well. And what it allowed us to do was to begin to have conversations about our stories together. Yeah. And I mean, they're not only comfortable conversations, right?
Well, hang on.I've been there. And there, you just said they're not always comfortable conversations, because of let's go here a little coaching is what interpretations and identity do you have about the story? And what's going to happen as a result of it?
Well, this is, well, this is just it, right? Because, you know, in those before, before I started with you in January,
When we would have those conversations, I didn't have the toolkits to work through, you know, realize that what I was saying was a story, or that what he was saying was a story. Right.
And, and his interpretation, which affected the story.
Absolutely. So and so it was, it was interesting, because I realized that I can now also be vulnerable, in a way that I that I wasn't able to be vulnerable before
Hang on. I don't know, I don't know, the end. Were you doing offensive? Or would you not speak? Okay.
And that I would also just bottle like I, because I think I'm also internally referenced. And so, um, but and so whenever, you know, whenever he would say something to me. I didn't like I would I look like a clam up. Like I go.
Okay, you're pulling in the bottle? And then you see,
I don't even see. Yes, I do for a little bit. But I don't show it externally. Right. Yeah, you bottle it up.
Yeah. And so then what happens? Nothing happens. Communication shuts down. Absolutely. Keep on going.
So. So this is something that in the second round of TCP with you, I've actually been working on, for me myself is to learn how to how to deal and manage with that, right? And not to create stories about those feelings, but to recognize, oh my gosh, okay, I'm being triggered. Why am I being triggered? Right? And how do I
am? What am I judging that I'm being triggered? What judgments Am I making about him? What judgments Am I making about me?
Right. Yeah, percent. And so it's been amazing. Like I, you know, I told him last night, when I mentioned that we were going to be talking today I said, You know, I would love for you one day to actually consider joining TCP because it, you know, I mean, and he's already seeing the transformation in me,
hang on, she said, TCP, which is my transformational coaching program, just want to be clear, not TCP, which is the psychedelic drug, I just want. I just want to be clear there. Okay.
So TCP okay.I would love for him to eventually consider joining it if he needs to feel that, you know, appropriate fit for him. Because I know, he loves your podcast as well. And so I'm just I'm so grateful for, for the opportunity to be coached by you. And I just want to, before I go any further, or we conclude, I just want to say was interesting. One of the reasons why I didn't sign up in September, and I waited until January, because I realized I had a story about what coaching is.I've always invested in professional development. Very, very happy to do that. But coaching to me was No you knew that if you are struggling or if you need help, and I didn't believe that I needed No. Help. And I'm using air quotes at the moment.
when you said that earlier, when you started, you said I didn't even recognize that I was something another right. Okay,got it.
So and it's and it's crazy, because, you know, I know, like my cousin, who's actually in your program as well, as started in May. Her husband is a works with a basketball team. And it got me thinking about Wow, okay, you know, here are high performance athletes, or just athletes in general, who work with coaches, work with, you know, professionals that help guide them and coach them. Do you better art, right?
In in, I feel like in the sort of service world of professional services. If you get a coach, it's like, well, something's wrong in your personal life.Right.
That's my story about that. Right? Yeah,
it's a crazy story, right? When Actually, it's about improving, and evolving yourself as not just a human but as, as a professional, or as a partner in a relationship. And I think everyone should have coaches.
I like that. And I've never liked the word coach, I just, it just doesn't really fit for me. But then what do I call myself and I just, it just dawned on me, is I don't feel like a coach. What I feel like as a guide, is let me just guide you. Let me just show you I've already been down these roads. I've had some world class with my brother in law, beyond world class, mentorship with NLP and shamanism and being a master hypnotist, and all these things. I've always had people that are top of their field coaching me, training me influencing me mentoring me, but I feel more like in TCP, and even on the podcast, I feel like, you know, I tell people, you hear me say all the time, I'm learning my lessons, I'm on this planet, I am not special. I am not different, so to speak, whatever you're learning, I'm learning something else. But just something different with, you know, working with a shaman. We're all here to learn our lessons. And if I can guide you guys to let go of this crap about fear of judgment. Yes, these stupid things that we get into I'm calling no one stupid, but the I've been there, these stupid things that we get into that hold us back, then let me guide just you know, let me shine the flashlight. Let me lie to you know, let me lead the path and just follow. Okay, so here's we're going to go one more thing. Number one, number one amazing time with you. And I know a lot of people could actually see themselves in you. And I know you helped a lot of people today. And you don't know what question I'm going to ask. But here's the question. It's very simple question, one sentence or one thought or one takeaway or one tool, what is the number one thing you want to leave with the audience?
Stop talking to yourself.
I love that.
Because every time, every time you talk to yourself, if you really observe what that conversation is in your head is in your head, you will discover that probably the conversations aren't nice to you, you aren't being nice to yourself,
or you're being counterproductive. I'm sick, I don't care. I don't I can't make enough money,
I can't go to the gym. I'm not worth this, this person's not going to like me if I tell them how I really feel
my name is Niduk and it's just nobody's gonna judge my name. Okay.
And I think as soon as you stop talking to yourself, you you are able to just let go of everything and just be be the person you were meant to be that person comes out. Because you're not, you're not trying to be anyone else by having different conversations in your head.
Right? I love this. And let me let me add here guys, people listening is that So Niduk is on her second round of the program. And she knows that the very first week what I start telling people because all this chatter, we have a Facebook Live group. We do our calls on zoom, all this chatter in the room, and I'm not good enough, and people are going to get all the blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, first thing I say the very first week is stop talking. Stop thinking stop talking, get quiet. Here on the podcast, I think it's episode number six, I talk about living your highest potential. And you just nailed it, in your own words, is we live our highest potential as beings when we stop talking to ourselves, and we silence the mind. Because when we silence the mind, now we have peace of mind. We have peace of mind, we get clarity, when we get clarity, we can act when we could be and we can do and we can attract. But when we don't have the peace of mind, then it's hard to do anything. And out in the world. People will actually so many motivational speakers and gurus and all this will say things like live your highest potential, but they're tying it to real estate or cars or jets or homes or money. And those are all external things. You are a cosmic being. And if you want to live your highest potential, learn to manage the being that you are, and shut the mind down because then all of the sixth sense, and higher wisdom comes through you. And now you can act. I said it my way. And you said it your way. And thank you. I didn't know your I didn't know what you're going to say. Thank you. Because if they didn't hear it my way, maybe they hear it your way that it's released you from living a life of being a sick person. And then having the money scarcity and then afraid to charge people and the fear judgment and the bottling things with your husband. It all comes down to you know what master thought formula, which you started with is move your attention. Stop thinking get quiet in the mind. I am so grateful for your time that again today. Thank you so, so much for sharing your story.
You are most welcome. And thank you for being the guide that I've always been seeking.
I just was never at a loss for words. But But thank you, that means a lot to me. Because that's this is what I do is you know, you've heard me say this is my dharma. This is what I do this life. And I get a lot of people thanking me and sending texts and messages, Instagram and Facebook messages and long messages to my support team. They send them to me, and people like thank you. And I'm like no, no, thank you. Because you guys are allowing me to live like an absolutely amazing life through the ability to serve people. And that's what I'm here for. So as I always say,
I'm tearing up Jim
II with people that I work with, and I want to cut off because I don't want to tear up but you hear me say all the time and Lecash I have another you okayNiduk. Thank you so much a big hug. And I'll talk to you later. Okay.
Okay, I want to add here, that after you just listened to the duck story, what was obvious to you, and you've heard this from other episodes with Katie, and Jennifer A while back and Jason is that once we change our stories, everything is about stories. And stories come from our identity. So once we shift our identity, our stories change, and when our stories change our external world changes. So hopefully you're hearing this theme over and over and over again, with the transformational stories. And you're starting to recognize that when you change your stories, and you shift your identity, everything else changes for you. On that note, also, I don't know when you're going to be listening to this episode. I mean, that can be tomorrow, it can be today, it can be a year from now, I don't know. But as you do know, and I'm sure there's a commercial here in the middle of this episode, and it's in the show notes on my website, that we do have an upcoming training on September the fourth, it's a three part live training, where we dig even deeper with ways of being an identity, we look at your brain based habits. And then obviously, the third training will be will obvious to me, not to you yet. But the third training will be about ways and characteristics and ways you have to be to create the outcomes that you want in life. So whatever you do get registered in the show notes over at jimfortin.com get registered for that live training. Okay, next episode is, I've already done an episode, I think it's number 17, on the power of dreaming and how to use dreaming to transform your life. And what I want to do is I want to create a tweak, I want to give you a tool, a very specific approach, which I didn't give you in that episode. The first one number 17. I want to expand a little bit on that one and give you an approach and a way, a mindset way, a way to use your intention to actually, you know, use dream time to help it work for you a lot quicker and a lot more deeply. So make sure that you actually listened to that episode. Okay, thank you so much for listening, and I'll catch you over on the next episode. Bye bye.
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