EPISODE 56: “A lack of money is forcing me back to my old life and a job I do not want, what do I do?”
Ever decided you wanted to change your life, you took steps to make it happen and before you knew it, you were right back in your old situation?
Well, if that’s you, you’re not alone because the reason you go back to your old ways is that you change on the outside but not on the inside.
You change your circumstances but not your subconscious identity, and when you only do that, you soon revert back to your old ways.
In this episode I talk about:
And, as I say on each episode’s description, much, much more.
The simple truth is this, until you leave your comfort zones and until you change your subconscious identity, nothing is going to change for you in your life.
If you don’t have it on the inside, you won’t have it on the outside.
You're listening to episode number 56 of the transform your life from the inside out podcast. Now this episode is a q&a episode and someone wrote in. And basically they said that a lack of money is forcing them back into their old life and a job they don't want. And they want to know what to do for my answer. Stay tuned. Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life. from the inside out with this podcast. I'm widely considered a leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful, alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
To Change Your Life You Have to Change You
Okay, so this episode is, you know, someone wrote in, and they were asking about, and they didn't give me all the details. But what I assumed is that they left one job to go to another job, and they're not making the kind of money that they want in that job as I believe an entrepreneur. So they're going to be forced to go back to their nine to five cubicle job. And they're running out of money. And they're like, What do I do? Well, this episode, and you're going to hear, I guess, themes in this episode of things that I've talked about in many other episodes. But this person when anyone says, You know what, I don't have the money that I want. And it's forcing me back into a job that I do do not want, I don't like it, I hate it. I don't want to go back. But I have to go back.
That person's working from circumstance. And you've heard me say that many times in this podcast is that when we work from circumstance, we repeat our circumstances. So what I want to talk about in this episode, and the real things that this person, you know, could be looking at is, what choices are they making, because everything always leads to something or better said something leads to something, you make a choice about something that's going to lead to something else. And many times we make a choice, and it leads to something but we think wow, you know, I didn't want that something. But yet, you're the one who made the choice to lead to that something.
We also want to talk in this episode, I'm going to talk about victim mentality. And then a huge concept. I call it a distinction of thinking is a 100%. Personal Responsibility. Now I know that I've created other episodes and all these threads, you know, run through, but I think instead of an episode about a topic, I think answering this question will help many of you see yourself. So most people, most people, and this is happening here and this particular question, this person's working backwards. And this whole episode is you know, this whole not episode, but this whole series is about transform your life from the inside out. It's not transform your life from the outside in.
Most people work backwards, they work from the outside in instead of the inside out. And the person here, he's actually working, his name is Brett and Brett's working from the outside in. See what Brett is done. Okay, is and this is I'm sure you can see yourself in my answer here and his situation. And I've been there also in my life. And I'm going to tell you, it's a broken strategy. When I say strategy, what I mean is a strategy. And the way that I use it is a mental sequence of steps, meaning mental step number one, number two, number three, number four, obviously, that's a sequence. But this is a broken strategy to work from the outside instead of the inside out. So what it's doing is it's actually causing him to go right back to his old, you know, his old behaviors again.
Now, what's happening here is he also said, Brett also said that I don't want to go back to my old life. Well, what's interesting here, let's dig a little deeper, is that what he means is that he doesn't want to go back to his old circumstances. Because see, he meaning Brett, he is his life. And the thing is this, his life has never changed. His circumstances have changed, but his life has never changed. So what happened, let me just take this apart some more. He's in circumstance a, and I guess it's a job and he doesn't want to be there. So then he changes something on the outside to go to circumstance be. But what happened as he never changed himself on the inside died. And because he never changed himself on the inside relative to money, and other characteristics and ways of being things on the outside are starting to come apart. You know, to give you an example of my own life. And this is popped in my mind. Many, many years ago, out of college, I took a corporate job.
And then I stopped and I started waiting tables, so and waiting tables, I call it the making cappuccino story. So out of college, I started waiting tables for a bit because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life. And the place that I applied to. It was a place actually called Dave and Busters here in it was in Houston, Texas, and many of you here in the states have heard of Dave and Busters. It's kind of like an arcade gaming, restaurant, pull tables, all that kind of stuff for the family, blah, blah, etc, etc. And I started waiting tables there. And I remember that what I leaked a not leak what I liked least about the job was was making cappuccino. I mean, any of you that have waited tables. And this was a lot of years ago, I'm sure cappuccino machines have changed Well, I'm guessing they have. But many years ago, the cappuccino machines that were time consuming.
And any of you that have waited tables, you know a phrase called you know, double seated, triple seated, which means you have two tables go down at once or three tables or your whole station fills up. And what would happen is, you know, you inevitably get triple seated, meaning you have all these people you have to wait on. And then someone says, Oh, I want to order a cappuccino, which is extremely time consuming.
And I remember one night, I said, and I was I was in victim mentality back then at that point in my life. And I said, Gosh, I hate making cappuccinos. I hate cappuccino. And I said you know what, and I decided right then and there, I remember exactly where I was I said I'm going to change my life. I'm going to pack everything up. I'm going to move to Atlanta, my folks live there, I can stay at their place. And I can start a new life so that I won't frickin have to make cappuccino anymore. And I moved to Atlanta, I did all this. I mean, I'm a very quickly. And I didn't have a job, which I eventually found a job that I wanted.
But I started waiting tables. And one night somebody said, Can I have a cappuccino, please? And I'm like, oh my gosh. And I thought to myself, you know, I packed up, I move halfway across the country from Houston to Atlanta, so that I wouldn't have to make cappuccino. And here I am making cappuccino again. So, Brett, what happened is that I changed my circumstances, but I didn't change me. So I went right back into my circumstances. And Brett and many of you listening, you have done the same thing. You try to change things on the outside because you want to change something. But as you know from this podcast, all change comes from the inside.
Now this day and age, I am not that person anymore. who waits tables. You know, back then just to give you some examples, back then I remember when I waited tables at Ruth's Chris, I might have met Steakhouse I might have made 500 bucks a week. And this was like 25 years ago, I won't even hop on a call with anybody, you know, providing their call me for some kind of assistance for less than a couple of thousand dollars per hour. And I was making 500 bucks a week, many years ago. But here's the thing. I am not that person that I was many years ago. And Brett the same thing to recapitulate here I'm sharing with you and everyone else is you changed your external circumstances. But you didn't change who you were on the inside relative to either characteristics and ways of being or money. So what happened is, even though you change the circumstance, which means the job or the situation, or something external, the old you, meaning you think you're creating a new life, when really you're taking the old you to the new life, the new life doesn't work because the old you is actually recreating the identity you have of yourself.
So hopefully explain that in a way that makes sense to you. And it makes sense to everyone else. But what happened is you left that first job that you're now looking to go back to your left it but you never changed your money thermostat. When I say your money thermostat, you may I don't know where you are in the process of listening to my episodes. If you're new here, welcome. And what I tell everyone is go back to the very beginning and start listening there. Because what I said in Episode One will make an all the way through will make more sense to you. Now when you're listening to this episode plus it will give you tools.
But Brett what i'm i'm looking at here is you probably never changed your thermostat about money. You changed your external life, but not the thermostat and a thermostat. You know, we have them I know people from all over the world Listen, but we have them is like you set your air conditioning, it's 75 degrees or whatever you set it that, well, that's what your air condition things going to run out. And if your financial, you know thermostat is about struggle, or you have to work hard for money, or you've always got to chase money, or there's never enough or you can never make more than 100,000, or whatever it is for you.
Whatever your thermostat is, is you will automatically unconsciously revert back to in terms of your thought paradigms and your behavior. And I say it over and over. And I'm spinning my head here for a fact and over and over and over. And people hear it. And they're like, yeah, you know, Jim, I really do get it. I've lived my life that way as well. But they really don't know it at a deep level. That until you change until you transform on the inside. No matter what you do on the outside. It's like stretching a rubber band, you stretch and then you let go and pop it goes right back to its old shape. The same thing with you, you can stretch yourself and move and do something. But guess what if the identity is not been shifted, pop, and you go right back to your old shape.
There's also an episode here on identity, I believe it's episode number five or so I highly encourage you to go listen to that. So something else I want to point out here is I don't have you know, a lot more details and Brett asked even more. But I wanted to touch on what I saw the main issue to be that I could bring to Brett and I could bring to all of you listening. And I'm very grateful for you guys listening. Just because somebody wants to do something doesn't mean that they're skilled to do something. And I see that many times if entrepreneurs is many times people will say I'm tired of being an engineer, or a lawyer or a doctor. I mean, I've seen this, or a librarian or a school teacher, I'm tired of my job, I'm going to go be an entrepreneur. And many times they fail. And the reason why is because they have the identity and the skill set of the person that could do that job. But they don't have the identity and the capabilities and the skills and the beliefs of somebody that would be a successful entrepreneur. What I want to point out is that entrepreneurship is not for everyone, it's just not. And I've been an entrepreneur pretty much my entire life. I mean, I've never really had a corporate job nine to five, I did want 20 something years ago,it was a lucrative job. And I took it because of the money, which was the wrong reason. And I hated the job, it was on Fifth Avenue.
Fifth Avenue in New York City working for an international company, and 30 days, and I'm like I hate this job, I can't do it. Because it's just not for me because I do have the personality and the identity of an entrepreneur. So I want to point out to help some of you guys just because you want to be an entrepreneur doesn't mean that you have the capabilities and skills to be a successful entrepreneur.
So Brett, where you are, and I'm not tossing any stones, because I've been there before, no longer there. But where I, you know, I've been where you are like, I have to do this job. And anytime we say we have to do something we're also trapped in what I call victim mentality. Because when we say we have to do something, what we're effectively saying is I also have no choice, then when we feel like we don't have any choice, then we feel like we're trapped. Then when we're trapped, we stay in our circumstances. And then we repeat the pattern over and over and over again.
So let's look at victim mentality here for a moment. victim mentality means that in some way you feel like you're powerless to change. And that might not apply to Brett because he did change on the outside. But he didn't change on the inside. So what happens because it didn't change on the inside the outside starts showing up again. Many times when people are in victim mentality, they feel like they're powerless to change whether it's work or their body or relationships, or a myriad of things in their lives. victim mentality is also you know what, these are my circumstances. And this just is what it is. You know, recently I offered a transformational coaching program, we've close the doors, and we're into our our fall TCP transformational coaching program, 5000 people registered for the free training that I did leading up to the program.
Of the 5000, we had a really large number did register, we had, let me think here for a second we enable anyway, we had a large number I'm trying to think here and my numbers are all over the place. But we had a large number of people register. But the number one thing was we sent out a survey to people, what causes you not to register? And people say, well, money, I really want to do it, but I don't have the money. That is exactly working from circumstance. Anytime that you say I don't have enough time, I don't have enough energy, I don't have enough money. You're working from circumstance. And when you work from circumstance, you repeat your circumstance. And by the way, I have been there as well thinking, Oh, you know what, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. And something will change. When you've heard the old phrase before, what's the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expecting different results.
So let's look at each one of these very quickly powerless to change. So people when they feel powerless to change where they generally work from is you know, things just happen to me. And as a result of things just happening to me, ah, sigh, I just have to deal with it. Well, that's victim mentality. And solution thinking is, you know what, things don't just happen to me, I co create in my life, I am a creator, I create my life. When I was laughing at this one at myself, when I was making cappuccino, it didn't just happen to me that I you know, drove across country and showed up making cappuccino again, I made those choices, I made the choice to pack up and go, you know, go across country and apply for for the job at that place. And of course, you're going to make cappuccino if you work in a restaurant for the most part. So I created that again. But I created the same thing over again. So powerless to change again, as well, things happen to me, this person did this, this person did that that person didn't come through, my wife said this, my husband said this, my wife won't let me etc. And in that point, you're trapped.
Okay, the next is victim of circumstances, you know, I want to share a very powerful phrase with you is that you are never, you are never at the mercy of your circumstances, however, you are at the mercy of your interpretations. Because pretty much everything in life is interpretation. And if your interpretation is that you're at the mercy of your circumstances, you are therefore and then at the mercy of your circumstances. And then how do we get out of that? What I tell people is this. And I've already I think I created the podcast episode on this is 100% responsibility. You know, Harry Truman used to say the buck stops here, and he had a little plaque on his desk. I want to be careful here because I really don't care for politics, even though I have a degree in Political Science and one in psychology, and I'm definitely not a partisan to any measure at all.
Yet, if you look at current leadership and United States, high level leadership read between the lines is that person never accepts responsibility. It's never me, it's always the Democrats, or it's always this person, or the Republicans aren't doing your job, or Congress isn't doing this, or somebody did this or some. It's never ever personal responsibility. And this air, quote, leadership is teaching a generation of children, that it's okay to pass the buck. And when you when you study, Harry Truman, and you look at Harry Truman, on his desk literally was a plaque that said, The buck stops here.
So Brett,and to everyone else, the buck stops with you. The reason that you're going back and the money's running out is not because of me, it's not because of the economy, it's not because of anything else, it's because of you, and the buck stops at your desk. And the same thing with every one of us. And we have to be we must be 100% responsible for the outcomes that we have in life. And you're probably already gathering are probably already know this. We're the ones who create the outcomes. And the interesting thing about human beings, is we create the outcomes. We're the ones who create them. And then we don't like the outcome. And then what a lot of people do is they complain about the outcome, and they're the ones who created the outcome.
There's this old story about this guy, he goes to work, and he opens his lunch box, and he's like, Oh, my gosh, no. ham and cheese again today. And he eats his ham and cheese sandwich. Next day, he goes to work, he opens up his lunch box and goes, Oh, please, please. ham and cheese again, I hate ham and cheese. And he eats his ham and cheese sandwich. And he goes to work again. And his friends are watching him. He opens his lunch box. And he's like, oh, gosh, cheese, ham and cheese again, I hate ham and cheese. And one of his friends and this is this is an old story. So just follow with me here. One of his old friends or his friend says, you know, geez, Bill. If you don't like ham and cheese, why don't you tell your old lady to not make you ham and cheese anymore. And he's like, old lady. I make my own sandwiches every day. And that's what a lot of people do is we make our own sandwiches. You know, you've heard the old phrase before it's, you've made your own bed now lie in it. And many of us make the bed and we're like, I don't like this bed. I hate this bedspread. It's lumpy, the beds too small. I don't like this pillow. And yet we're the ones who do it.
Okay, and next is stories. You know, you might have heard in the transformational stories on Mondays that I did for about six weeks. A common theme. And every one of those people that I've worked with that are in my programs that transformed their life is that they transformed their stories. And if you were in my Be Do Have training, which will be offering again next year, I think in March or April or so, is what happens is something happens to us. And as a result of something happen happening to us, we make an interpretation about it. Now, x y,z happened, I make an interpretation. And then what we do is we turn the interpretation into a story, then what we do is we talk to herself about the story. And the story reinforces what happened when maybe what happened is nothing more than it will it's not, it's nothing more than an interpretation. And then we become the story.
I've said before, the Buddha once said, first we create our habits, and then our habits create us. So what we do is we create a story, and then we live in an invisible prison of the story for an entire lifetime. So the solution is for this part of victim mentality is change your story. You know, even as you're listening, let me demonstrate as I'm talking about stories, and you're listening right now, you're following along and saying, Well, okay, that makes analytical sense. Yes. What Jim said, something happened to me. And then I had interpretations about it. And then I created beliefs and the beliefs came a story and the story became a self fulfilling prophecy. Yes, I get that.
Now, let me ask you are listening right now, as I started explaining that to you? How many of you said, Oh, yeah, I can think of a story right now. And I can think of this story and that story and this story. And what I want you to notice is, as you're thinking about a story, you're also telling yourself a story about the story you're thinking about, that demonstrates that our lives are stories.
And if you're, you know, we're going to tell us not I was going to say if, but it's not if. Because our life is stories, we must create stories that work for us. And that comes down to reconditioning the identity inner self thought, because our self thought comes from our identity. So let me ask you, how many of you know many of you, older people, many of you younger is under 30? You're probably not going to know this, maybe? Maybe not. But what story did Muhammad Ali, I'm assuming everybody in the world knows I'm not well, not everyone, but most people in the world know whom Muhammad Ali was? What story did Muhammad Ali tell himself, and it's in a lot of his rhetoric a lot of his talk? What was his story? I'll be quiet here for a second. Think about it. What was his story?
His story was this. I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived. I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived. I'm the greatest fighter who ever lived. And that was his story. And, you know, just because he had the story I want to point out doesn't mean that he would have been that. But that's where his attention was. You've heard me talk about attention before. But Brett, I guarantee you just by reading your comment here, and your email that your story is right now, if I were in your head, your story is I don't understand why is this not working on I tried to change my life. I'm looking at my bank account, my money is getting low. You know what, I don't want to do it, I hate it. But oh, I have to go back to that job I hate I hate my life. Why did this happen to me, etc, etc, etc, on and on?
Brett, if that's not your story, which it probably is or some facsimile of your story, guess what a lot of people listening, that is their story. And it's nothing more than a story. A couple of more things here. And this is a big one, I was on a call with a group that I coach a little earlier today. And comfort zones. You know, the interesting thing about comfort zones is we don't leave will never leave our comfort zone. I'm going to slow down here. We never leave our comfort zone until we leave our comfort zone. And you're thinking, Well, Jim duh, you know, that makes sense in terms of syntax and semantics and everything. And I don't know if I use the word syntax, right? But anyway, we don't you you meet all of us, we don't leave our comfort zone until we leave our comfort zone.
So what happens is, okay, so when we leave our comfort zone for most people, that creates some kind of fear or anxiety. So let's say for example, that you're flying on an airplane, the pilot will tell you when you go to the next level, you know what, keep your seatbelt on, because there's going to be turbulence. So for many people, when they leave their comfort zone, that creates fear and anxiety, which is turbulence. Now, because that is associated with pain, because I don't like fear and anxiety and turbulence, what happens so that I don't experience the fear and anxiety. It I lower the altitude in the airplane. And I actually stay below the turbulence and I stay in my comfort zone.
Someone that I know, he said one time, and he's a multi millionaire. And he's very big online. We have mutual friends, I've met him a few times. And we talked about doing some business. But I asked him one time, I said, What do you think for you is the number one thing that helped you become so successful. And he said, Oh, that's easy. He goes, I got comfortable. being uncomfortable. Consider that. Now if you're like most people, and I've been there, your life is probably all about, you know what I want to be as comfortable as I possibly can in life, when in reality, the comfort that you're choosing is causing you more discomfort, because you're staying in your comfort zone, which never allows you to get to where you want to be, which is discomfort in the long term.
So basically, what you're doing is you're you're choosing many of you been there as well, you're choosing short term contract over long term comfort. And the more powerful place to work from is to choose short term discomfort to provide long term comfort. Let me add there also what I was pointing out earlier today on the call that I was leading, is to me, comfort zones are the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Now.I've been there. And let me let me share some more when I met is there's a movie which I haven't mentioned today, it's an old movie called As Good as it gets with Jack Nicholson. And one of the characters said the jack nicholson, he said, his character's name was Melvin. He said, one of the great things about you is that you're not afraid to humiliate yourself. And I've been there, because humiliation would just be people judging you. And I've never really been afraid of that. Like I'll put myself out there. If I fall down and people laugh, then people fall out. You know, people laugh, but I put myself out there. But most of us won't put ourselves out there because we're out of our comfort zone.
And then again, like I've said, like four times, if you never leave your comfort zone you never leave your comfort zone. And the only way to learn how to lead to leave your comfort zone is Guess what? To leave your comfort zone. Okay, so a couple of more things here. Brett, even though you might not see this, you're probably thinking, you know what, I left one thing to go to a better thing in life. Yes, I want to create more in life and I support that 100%. Brad, there's no question about that. But where you're working from your exact I copied and pasted it from your email, a lack of money is forcing me back to my old life. Well, money's not forcing you back to your old life, you are choosing to go back to your old life because you haven't transformed on the inside first, to create the outcome that you want.
So then you say, let me repeat here, a lack of money is forcing me back to my old life and a job I do not want. What do I do? Well, what you do is you transform yourself on the inside to the identity that you need. And there's episode on and I believe number five, you transform the identity on the inside and the outside will transform automatically. In this moment, based upon your email, you're working from what I call resignation, which is also a victim mentality. Resignation is I'm stuck. I'm spinning my wheels. I'm stuck. What do I do help? 911? What do I do? What do I do? That's resignation?
So what I want to share with you to answer your question, which I just did, go listen to, I believe episode number five on identity and transform your life from the inside out, and your life will transform automatically. And your transformational takeaway this week is something that I coined myself because I said it to myself many years ago. And I said to myself, I said, if I don't first have it on the inside, I will not have it on the outside. So Brett, what you want, you do not yet have it on the inside. You tried to go get it on the outside, and your identity like the rubber band, boom snapped and it's pulling you right back to the inside. And the inside is not consistent with what you want on the outside, transform the identity.
Okay, the next episode, and I'm saying this exactly as the episode is titled, The next episode is titled, life is choice. Now many people will say and they have said Jim, don't you mean life is a choice? No, life is choice. And the next episode is all about the power of choice. Okay, thanks for listening, and I'll catch you over on the next episode or maybe even what maybe even one of the earlier episodes you go back and listen to. Regardless, I'll catch you on another episode. Bye bye.
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know, if you found value you they will too. So please share via your social media channels. Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. And I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is @iamjimfortin. Finally, I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together,You and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening.