EPISODE 156: “If You Don’t Like Who You Are Then Change Who You Are”
Download the self-hypnosis audio without podcast intro to listen every day:
Are you tired of living the same life day after day and not getting what you really want in life? You’re not the problem, it’s your subconscious mind and brain sabotaging you.
In today’s episode I give you a sample of my BE-DO-HAVE Training, which is available for a limited time. I teach you about mindset vs brain set and why you should be focused on changing your brain set instead of your mindset if you’re looking for lasting change.
You can get the permanent life changes you want in this free BE-DO-HAVE training series I talk about in the episode. Discover how your brain and subconscious identity sabotage your success and what you truly want in life.
When you finish this entire revolutionary three part training it will be absolutely clear to you how you’ve not gotten what you want in life and how to quickly change all that for permanent lifetime results.
In this episode I discuss:
And, of course, much much more.
Self-Integrity is VITAL to your success in any activity and according to a Harvard business professor who studies it, it’s one of the most over looked concepts in business and life.
When we’re out of self-integrity, nothing works, we keep failing over and over in many areas of life that we think are important to us.
Let me rephrase the last paragraph, things work in life but they rarely work the way we want when we’re out of integrity.
What if you woke up today with everything you were genuinely and intrinsically grateful yesterday? Ponder that….
You're listening to the transform your life from the inside out podcast. This is a bonus episode, and we have titled this episode, are you ready, we've titled this episode. If you don't like who you are, then change who you are. And being a bonus episode, we actually have excerpts here from a training that I recently did, about how to change who you are at a core level. So if you'd like to start learning that, keep listening. Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life. from the inside out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
You Will Get What You Want If You Have The Habits To Do It
Okay, so this bonus training is titled, if you don't like who you are, then change who you are. And I'm in the middle right now of doing which I do twice, you know, twice yearly, the B to half live training series. And this is an excerpt from that training. And the team, you know, they listen to the entire training, and they're like, you know, if we pull up this excerpt, it would be a really, really good, you know, little 20 minutes to actually give people some more Aha, some more Tiffany's, and some more ideas and, and some more thoughts about how they can change their life from the inside out. So that's why we're doing this as a bonus episode. So enjoy what his mind set. Number one is, I tell people, you hear all this jargon. And all these people talking about you got to change your mindset. Really, yes, that helps. And I'm going to help you with that right now. But you really have to change your brain set, meaning how your brain processes your habits, because no matter what you do, you don't get in life what you want, you will never get what you want in life, you will simply get your habits. And if you want something, then you will let me rephrase what I said. If you want something, you will get it if you have the habits to do it. But we don't get what we want, we get our habits. And that's why so many people want things and they don't have them. But your mindset is your disposition, your attitude or your mood. It's your way of thinking, your opinions, and a mental attitude or inclination. This also As you already know, every bit of this, your mind set. And people will tell you all day long, change your mindset. You can only change your mindset based upon your identity. So if your identity is the world doesn't work, it's against me. It's a negative world. As doggy dog, I can't get ahead. If that's your identity. And then that is your context. How successful do you think you're going to be changing your mindset? And then I want to show you and I apologize to probably I don't know 20 30% of you. But let me go here Tom Brady. The greatest you can't no one can argue with this in terms of his accolades. The greatest an NFL quarterback in history. Guys even though a fan I don't keep cracking but what does he won now seven Super Bowls. I think six seven Super Bowls. I mean, I think the most is probably Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana at four. And there might be one or two more in there. But this guy has won seven live it's not seven at six, but I think it's seven, seven Super Bowls. And I have watched him pull out a game literally I've watched him win by at least sometimes two touchdowns. And the last two minutes of a game. Now ask yourself what is this guy's mental disposition? Okay, his This position is this game is not over till that clock buzzes this game is not over till then this this is mental This position is that of a champion. But more than that, I don't even think it's sad his mental disposition is I'm going to play the absolute best game that I can play no matter what and every single second of his game. And
that comes from his context. So hope that demonstrates, let me show you something here. Let me back up there is disposition affects identity. Okay? His identity, his identity is is I, whatever I play hard I plan on but I'm not as head. So I don't know the identity. But I know that that environment meaning those six Super Bowl rings come from the identity. So I look at what is the guy's identity? What beliefs does he have about it? What skills does he have which are obvious, look at the behavior, watch him play, and then look at the environment, which is the outcome that he gets. This is why your identity will make you and I don't ever I don't ever, you know, promote this, like you're a winner. You're a champion. No one can ever say they've heard me say oh be winners and losers. I don't do that. That's not my way. I don't think that way. But whatever the identity is, will get you this outcome. Or for some people, it gets him an outcome of being many, many years overweight and unhealthy. Whatever it might be. So anyway, okay, you guys get that? So here, I'm going to start asking you guys some questions. All right. Have you asked yourself, what is my identity? What is an identity? Well, the definition of an identity is the fact of being who or what a person is. It can be loving, it can be hateful, it can be kind, and generous. They can be a and I say that it's just generally speaking a doormat getting let everybody walk on me, I'm going to please the world. And let everybody walk on me. It can be somebody who takes advantage of people, it can be somebody who people take advantage of that person. I mean, the identity spans the entire gamut of humanity. But what is my identity, plain and simple. It's the fact of being who and what you are. And you've already learned what you are, you've learned to become through your Herbalife indoctrination, I'm going to share something with you that's quite profound. It's very, very simple, is if you don't like who you are, change who you are. Right, and I'm going to teach you how to do that next week. But if you don't like who you are, well, then frickin change who you are. And that's how to get what you want in life.
Your identities, your self image, which we've already covered, and I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough. People don't like me, your identity is just a reflection. It's a mirror of how you grew up, and how you thought about yourself your self image as a kid. And like I said, we're taught ourselves images as a kid. One of my self images was one of my my mom and dad's most important things is a parent and their mind is defined them as good parents, was my parents used to love to hear I tell personal stories, because you guys can relate. And just think along what you heard your parents say. My brother and sister and I were dominated by our parents, meaning we had choice in our life. But our choice was only in the context of choices they would allow us to have. They were very much along the lines of the old school, you're our parents, you're going to respect us, you don't talk back, you get grounded, etc. But my parents used to I mean, oh my gosh, they would relish when we were really young, anywhere. Because we're five years apart. We are really young, under the age of eight. My parents love to hear people when they take us out to dinner, people would say your kids are so well behaved. Your kids are just like the most well behaved kids we've ever seen. Well, yeah, because they turned us into little robots that were beautiful, you know, really well behaved. Yes, sir. Thank you, please robots, you know, and that's what our parents did, because that's the value, they got benefit from people saying that to them, it gave them ego value. But my self image for many years was coloring the lines, you have to do things, right. And there is a structure to that. And that's not the more who I am, but that's who I was. Because I learned the identity as a child. So your identity is created through experiences. So things happen. And then you make interpretations about those experiences, which is what we did as kids you did, you did the same thing. And then we create beliefs about it. And let's say for example, one of my beliefs would have been Okay, my interpretation is when I act in a certain way, the experiences as mom and dad does XYZ, the interpretation is okay. If I be an XYZ kind of way, they're going to love me more. So I want to please my mom and dad. So I have the belief That if I if I set up and I, and I'm not really at the table and I don't spill my chocolate milk, and I pay attention and all this kind of quiet is the main thing kids are supposed to be heard. And I'm quiet and I spoken I've spoken to, then guess what they're gonna they're gonna love me more which is a belief they're going to be pleased that I tell myself stories about it as a kid. And guess what? That became who I was for probably a good two maybe in the two and a half three decades of my life. Why? Why? Because that was my identity. As I said earlier, look at these kids here let me just demonstrate this your identities indoctrinated a little boy there in front is probably five years old. All of us as kids grew up in a small Texas town we are marched out the flagpole and said the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, five days a week during the school year. This kid is pledging allegiance. And I'm not saying pledge allegiance. Don't pledge allegiance. that's entirely up to you. I don't care what you do. I'm just using this as an example. This kid is five. Do you think he even knows what the word allegiance is? Think about that. He has no clue what the word allegiance is, or even what he's saying. But yet that kid if you found him today, can we cite that by memory, because it was learned as a child. So ask yourself, what was indoctrinated. And to me, this is what this is a big thing. For every one of you. This is what I want you to ask yourself right now. Make a list, make some notes, as we're going through this screen, screenshot whatever it is, I want you to go back. And I want you to say to yourself, what were my biggest stories when I was 10 years old?
Think about that. Make a note what were my biggest stories when I was 10 years old? Meaning what did I hear in my household, because what you heard in your household and at school and at church literally indoctrinated you. This is from the movie The King's Speech, I won't go into it. This is a phenomenal example of certain things psychological, but the left hand guy went on to become king of England. And he had a stuttering problem, he learned to have a stuttering problem because he was made fun of when he was about five years old by his father, the King of England and his older brother. So he learned the insecurity. And as an adult, he was a stutter, because he learned it as a kid. Now, I'm recognizing fully that I'm being repetitive in our time together, it's because I want every one of you to get this to recognize that where you are in life is nothing more than learn behavior. You want to create something new and the money that you want everything. All we got to do, which we start next session is start on learning who started learning who you become, and we learn someone new, which is a new identity. So I think it's pretty obvious by now is that your self image, your identity, just like I just showed you on the last slide it until until today because now you know better and you cannot unknow what you've come to know your identity controls and I have the word underlined and large it controls your life. And until we you know change the self image, your life will be controlled by you until about the age of eight years old. Everything you do, and I guys, I have these here for a reason. Because people will start looking for holes in this. And they'll start saying things like Well, let me find let me find a place that's not true. Okay, let me share this. Somebody's letting a cigarette here. I'm a nonsmoker. Now, I don't do the behavior thinking about that. Let's go back to the pyramid. I don't do the behavior of a smoker. Because I'm not a smoker. When I was broke, I didn't did the behavior of wealthy people because I wasn't a wealthy person. Everything that you do, or do not do. Everything that you do, or do not do is a reflection of your identity. What you watch online, what you say to your kids, do you argue or not argue with your mother? Are you on your third and fourth marriage? Or are you on a 10 2030 4040 year old, great marriage? Go look at your bank account. You want to know what you think of yourself and how you value yourself. It's pretty simple. You don't have to value money. But you know what? I did I go into this little I think a little later next, next, next module and everything else. But the value you hold for yourself at an identity level will determine your wealth. So everything you do or do not do is a reflection of your identity. I want you to notice something else. Have you ever tried to start doing something you've never done or to stop something you are doing, it's easy for you, you to do what you are in, it's easy for you to do your identity. But it's hard for you to do what you're not. Meaning it's hard for you to become wealthy, or lose weight, if you're not first that in your identity. So what I want you to do right now is I want you to name three things that you want, that are really hard for you, every one of you take a second, think of three things that you want in life, that you keep missing the mark, you keep falling short, you keep the word failing and achieving it. Think of three things that you want that are really hard.
Now, look at the stories and the beliefs behind it. And look at the identity. So for example, I'm going to give you just one simple example. And I don't want to hear any blah, blah from people watching going, why is he talking about money. The reason why I talk about money, so much and our time together, 78% of Americans live paycheck to frickin paycheck, they need to hear about money, whether they become wealthy or not, doesn't matter to me, but they need sustenance to take care of their, their family and their friends and their parents and college tuition and everything. But for example, all the years that I've broken my mind, it became hard to even have enough money to pay all my bills, I always worked from just enough. And now if I made less than several million dollars per year, I'm like, Oh my gosh, what a disastrous year. So when what? When I was broke all those years, it was hard for me to make money and to hold on the money. Because I was not that. And the same thing applies to your weight, your relationships and everything else. So let's keep this really simple. But why do people resist change? You guys ever wonder, why is it so hard to get the change that I want in life? This is all brain based. Okay, this is not rah, rah, this is not something I just sat down and made up last night. Number one is brain based is a brain your brain likes predictability, tons of research has demonstrated that is that your brain wants to know what's going to happen next. It's also partly a survival mechanism. So one of the reasons we resist change is because if I don't change, let's say that I'm in an abusive relationship. If I change, I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, can I pay my bills? Will I have a roof over my head? Will I have a partner? Will I have a you know, warm meal to come home to whatever it might be? So many times we actually resist change, because it's unpredictable. So the brain actually likes predictability. So the brain is saying, nope, you actually cannot change. Why? Because that's not predictable and survival mechanism is we got to keep you alive and keep things predictable. Another reason is software vacation, is that if we don't change, I know what's gonna happen tomorrow, I might have a crappy life tomorrow. But at least I know what's going to happen tomorrow. And you know what, I'm not going to move jobs, I'm not making enough money in my job. Now. I'm kind of scraping by and scraping by for a lot of years, I'm using an example here. But if I get a new job, I'm not quite sure how quickly I'm going to start making money. And I don't know if I can do it. And what if I lose the job and all these kind of things. So it's unpredictable. And we don't, we don't change or self verification is that at least I can verify that I can do XYZ and I can do these things. Therefore I know, I'm going to have the job, therefore it's predictable. Therefore, I'm going to stay in this job or this relationship, or whatever it is. And then we get into disintegration anxiety. Now again, guys, this is all scientifically proven, this integration anxiety. Do you guys ever noticed that when you're wanting to create change in your life, that you start getting anxious, sometimes maybe you start experiencing a little bit of success, some really good weight loss, and you start getting a little antsy about it, and you're like, why am I anxious about this? Well, I'm nervous about this. And even part of you've kind of jittery to want to go back to the old ways. That's called disintegration anxiety. And that's the anxiety is caused by part of the identity is disintegrating. And here's the thing. The brain doesn't like that because it's not predictable. So the brain is going to give you anxiety to keep you in your old way. This is why many times when we're starting to get a little headway in life, we're starting to get changed in life. Things are starting to happen. We get cold feet and we get scared. Why we can can't predict what's going to happen, Ooh, that's not safe to the brain, reptilian brain the oldest part of the brain, which we cover tomorrow, that's not safe to the brain. Therefore, the brain is going to give you anxiety. The reptilian brain gives you anxiety, which anxiety is fearful when we back and painful. So we try to avoid anxiety, meaning we standard old behaviors. This is why, let me say this, you will not leave your comfort zone until you leave your comfort zone. Because living a comfort zone is painful. And our brains are wired to seek pleasure to move away from pain. So if we have to leave our comfort zone, but that's actually painful, then what we're going to do is stay in the comfort zone because we want to avoid
pain. But here's something I want to share with you to truism if you never leave your comfort zone, you will never leave your comfort zone. Think about that. If you never leave your comfort zone, you will never leave your comfort zone, you must leave your comfort zone. Because that's when we grow what I call adaptively. Okay, I left my comfort zone. Okay, I didn't die, the world didn't come to an end. Oh, okay, that's kind of good. Now I go to the next level, comfort zone again, comfort zone, you've got to be comfortable with leaving your comfort zones in order to grow or not an opinion, it's a fact, you will never grow, the only time you grow is outside of your comfort zone. So that's why we resist change. That's why it's so damn hard. A lot of times to change is because the reptilian part of the brain, I'll say for the sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth 10th 10th time, we'll cover tomorrow doesn't like change. But now that you know that I'm giving you an upper hand over your brain, I'm giving you today and tomorrow, an upper hand over the reptilian part of your brain that loves self sabotage. So you now know that your self image and your identity controls your success in all areas of life. Okay, so to watch the entire training, and to get the workbook that goes along with it. And in that workbook, I have 15 transformational questions that you're going to want to ask yourself to start creating core level change. To get all of that go to Jim fortin.com slash be do have and sign up for full access to the training. You know, I'm in the middle of delivering it right now. And it's probably going to be about, I don't know, five or six hours of literally rubber meets the road live changing training. And it can be yours for free. And also, just to point out, I'm only going to have it up for about 10 days, and then I'm going to pull it down until late in the year. So if you want to start Transforming Your Life now, then go over to Jim fortin.com slash b do have and get registered for the free training. One more thing help other people in your life. It's free. So as well share the training. Okay, I'll catch you over on the training. Bye bye.
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know, if you found value, they will do so please share via your social media channels. Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to support at Jim fortin.com. And I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is I am Jim Fortin. Finally I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together, you and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening