EPISODE 162: “Stop Giving Your Power Away Part 2”
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Ok, so last week we started this topic and I asked you to do an exercise for an entire week to see how often you did or didn’t do what others wanted of you just to please them.
What did you discover about yourself?
If you’re like most people you found that you do a whole lot of what you don’t want in an effort to please other people and keep them happy.
In this episode, I want to share seven points to consider so you can stop caring about what others think and how you can stop giving your power away:
1. What meaning are you putting on people liking and approving of you? Does it validate you? Do you feel higher self-worth?
2. Just be you. Some people won’t like you but when you’re you, those who like your values, vibes, and thoughts will gravitate towards you.
3. Do not take people’s thoughts about you personally? People do not like you or not like you because of you, they like you or don’t because of their interpretations of who they think you are and the relevance of that to their own value systems.
4. Self-Acceptance. Just accept who you are. Some will love you, some will reject you…that’s a way of life. You cannot grow in life until you accept yourself.
5. Your life is not a popularity contest. What do you want to do in the world? Many times it’s the crazy people who are not liked and they do the most in the world.
6. Are you the problem? Take some life inventory. Maybe when you’re repelling people it’s “not them,” maybe it’s you exhibiting some undesirable social characteristic and some people don’t want to be around it.
7. And finally, stop caring what others think or do not think of you. You cannot control that. Some will like you, some will not…so what!
We talk about…
As I just said, it was hard to categorize this interview but I promise, you’ll find some valuable takeaways.
As well, her story and sharing will apply to both men and women and I think some women will find it especially powerful.
You give your power away when you live your life by what others think you should and should not do…
How would you like to discover how to change your thinking so you can eliminate fear and negativity in an instant? Watch the free training now- www.jimfortin.com/eliminatefear
You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside oOut podcast. Now, this is a second part of a two part podcast. The first part was titled Stop Giving your Power Away. And obviously, this is the second part of that series. So stop giving your power away. And if you've done the homework last week, and even if you haven't, keep listening, because I'm going to touch upon all the ways, or many of the ways that we give our power away, keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in subconscious transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. And this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Avoiding The Disapproval Of Others Is Draining You
Okay, so in the last episode, I talked about, you know, people who give their power away. And I said that people give their power away by doing or not doing things in life that they want to do, or do not want to do, based upon what other people are going to think about them. Also, I asked, you know, I asked you guys to track yourself for just, you know, seven days. And basically just, you know, in the morning in the evening, look at it and keep a little notebook, and look at how many times today that I do something or not do something because other people wanted me to do it. But I didn't want to do it. Meaning that I go somewhere that I do something that I go out that I go to dinner somewhere that I do you know something anywhere in your personal or professional life. And if you did what I asked you to do, I'm sure you probably had many AHA's.
There were, there were several people that actually work with me that are in coaching right now I have about 300, and I think 70 people in a coaching program with me, and the Transformational Coaching Program. And I get a lot of comments about people saying I didn't recognize and realize how much I give my power away to other people all day long, just to go along or get along or, you know, basically not to make any waves any ripples and not to upset anyone else. So a question for you is, why do you generally do or not do what you want to do? Or another people? Or I guess another way that I can ask that is not why do you. But what causes you to do what you do want to do or don't want to do around other people. And obviously, as I've said a couple of times, that's because you're looking for the approval of other people to some degree in some way. Or you're actually trying to avoid their disapproval to some degree and some way about something. But the whole point is notice is that you're living your life, you're making your choices, you're doing what you you know you want to do, or what you don't want to do based upon what other people might think about you.
And that's a very you know, debilitating place to live your life from. because your life is controlled by other people. And what's interesting is that most people that I know of, that don't want to be controlled, people want freedom, we all want freedom and all kinds of freedom. Yet they have the freedom to not be controlled by others, but yet they give that power away to other people. And then you know, how do you do that? How do you give that power away? Well, the most popular ways are people pleasing. Now, does that apply to you? Are you always trying to please other people by not rocking the boat? You know if I don't speak up and if I if I don't say anything and if I don't share my opinion? Whoo everything's I'm gonna keep the family harmony and everything's gonna be fine.
I'm not going to like it. But yet, you know what, I'm not going to rock the boat. You know, I've seen people before. They don't want to go to their family, you know, Thanksgiving, let's say for an example. And they don't want to go. And they don't want to go because someone's going to be there. That is the Debbie Downer or the negative, or the family alcoholic getting drunk and everything's giving her or whatever it is. There's some reason they're just like, I don't want to be around that. But they're like, oh, okay, I'll go anyway. And they go, Why? Because you're trying to please someone else? Or they're trying to influence what these people are going to think about them. And you know, what about does this this apply to you? Are you being a doormat? Do you let people walk all over you? Are you being a yes person? Are you not? And here's a big one. Are you not able to say no to people? Because when you you do what they want you to do? And you're thinking, that keeps them happy? And guess what, if that's your logic, is that if you do what other people want you to do, that keeps them happy. And as a result of them being happy, you're actually unhappy by doing what you don't want to do to keep other people happy.
Now, the $64,000 question is, how much sense does that make? I remember many years ago, a client of mine, and it was a one to one client, and we're talking about now he was a big people pleaser always trying to please people. And I said, what happens if you don't do X, Y, Z? And he goes, Well, they're going to be mad at me. And I said, How do you know they're going to be mad at you? And he goes, Well, I don't I just guess they will, they will, you know, will be mad at me. And I said, Well, what happens if they're mad at you? And he goes, are not going to like me. Now, first of all, how could he possibly know how they were going to respond if he did, or he didn't do something unless he has any past evidence, and then he has to look at if I'm only doing what they want me to do, because they want me to do it. These people are taking advantage of me. They're using me. And then guess what, I'm unhappy because these people are using me. But what I want you to notice, as I said a little earlier, is what's the cause for you. Notice what reward what benefit you get for keeping everyone else happy and pleasing everyone else at the expense of your own happiness.
Now, I'm no better no different than anyone else. I think many years ago, I used to be a people, people pleaser. I used to want to make people happy and soothe things and you know, make everything just, you know, hunky dory, great with everyone. And at this point in my life, I don't care. Now, when I say I don't care. It's not that I don't care about other people or their opinion. Yet, what I recognize is that I'm not responsible for other people's happiness. I'm not responsible for making sure that people enjoy themselves at a party, or you know, any venue or any event. These people are not my responsibility. And that lightens your load when you work from that place is that I'm only responsible for me. And there going to be times that people don't like what I do. They don't like you know what I say? And that's fine. Because guess what, this is what I want you to do, I want you to look at all the people right now that you don't like, or people that you don't want to be around. Think about that for a second, just get a list and I bet you that you could name all three people that you you just don't enjoy being around.
So you get those three people now. Okay, now, what I want you to notice is that you don't like or you don't want to be around these three people. So the question is, what made you special? I mean, what makes you think that everyone's gonna like you when you've just demonstrated that you don't like people? What makes you so special that you're the most likable person in the world, and that everyone all over the planet and every nationality and every religion and every sexual orientation, every everything socio economics and everything, everyone's going to like you and ain't going to happen. And that's delusional thinking to think that everyone's going to like or approve of you, because you've just demonstrated that there are people that you don't like, and there are a lot of people in the world.
I'm just thinking here's what I want to say is there are a lot of people that I don't may put it this way, enjoy watching or appreciate or find the value in watching in the world. Now, I don't know them personally. But what I'm demonstrating there are people that including at a point in my life, where I had pretty much I was one degree away from the President of the United States, and a mutual business partner acquaintance, or actually business partner, both of us for many years. Yet, I never asked for an introduction or to be at anything, and I was invited to go to things. And I never asked, and I never wanted to, because I don't have an appreciation for that person, that individual. Now what I'm pointing out, is, we're all the same. So the reality is, is if you don't like everything in the world, why would you expect every every person in the world to like you, that's not going to happen?
Now I have some questions for you. What meaning? What meaning are you putting on people liking you? What does that mean about you? When you think that other people like you? And to that question, how do you know that other people even like you, maybe they're just being socially polite, and they're acting like they like you, but they don't really like you. And you know what, you've done the same thing. I mean, you've been somewhere and you're like, I don't really enjoy this person. But Yikes, I'm stuck here. Or I'm at this, you know, my sister's party or wherever, there's nothing I can do. I'm just gonna just grin and bear and smile and nod and go, aha, the whole conversation, but what do you what do you get? What meaning do you put upon it? And what do you get, for other people to like, you know, take that apart, now for a lot of people is that they get validation, that, at some level, they believed that they're being approved up by other people.
And what's interesting is, you know, an example here is about values. Do I want you to think of someone that has conflicting values to you now consider that for a moment who has let's let's take now people that generally follow me or what I call more spiritual than religious I just because I don't talk about religion in the podcast. But I want you to think about somebody who values highly values of their religion. And we know people, you know, I mean, I know people like that we all do. And so the question is, is do you enjoy being around them when they're preaching to you probably NO, if you don't subscribe to the same religion. But what I want to point out is, if you subscribed, the same religion, you would have similar values, and guess what you would like each other. But because identities are not aligned, meaning our subconscious identities because we both subscribe to the same thing, or different things. And we're not aligned when we subscribe to different things. So when we do that, guess why your value systems are mismatched, and you don't enjoy being around that person. And there are many people that are not going to enjoy being around you.
I'm just telling you, no matter how nice you are, how sweet you are, whatever it is, or how kind or how people pleasing and how you'll do everything for everyone. And people walk all over you. There's still some people that will use you in place, no value upon you. So this is what I want to share here. And this point is just be you. Just be you. Some people will like you, because they like their value system reflects who they think that you are. And some people won't like you. Because your value system because that's how we know who to gravitate towards is people that represent their own values, is there are people that will not like you, because you have very different values. And it doesn't mean your values are good or bad or their values are good or bad. It just means that you have different values.
So we've all heard the phrase every one of you have heard no matter where you are in the world, is that like attracts like. And let me give you two just diametrically opposed examples. But to prove the point, the mass murderer that's notorious in the United States back in the 70s. Charles Manson. Well, Charles Manson had some followers. There were people who liked him. So now I would guess the majority of us didn't or wouldn't like him. But guess what, some people liked him because he attracted like minded people. Let's flip that. Let's look at Martin Luther King. And look at the people who followed Martin Luther King, and they were fighting for social justice.
Now, I remember this, it just popped into my mind when I was in 11th grade. I grew up in a really really small Texas farming town 2000 people and I remember A friend of mine, I was at his house, and his dad was watching TV and MLK was on TV. And there was some things I mean, then again, MLK had been shot back in the 60s. But MLK was on TV, and the man's name, I make it up. I mean, I'm not making it up. I couldn't make it up. Mr. Smith was really his name. Mr. Smith said to me, and he was just making a remark. He said, that man, meaning Martin Luther King, that man is a very dangerous, man. I've always remembered that, and I think back well, I'm guessing Mr. Smith didn't like Martin Luther King. But you know what, there are millions of people that like Martin Luther King. Okay, so I think you got the point there.
Next, take nothing personal, take nothing personally, when I have people in coaching with me, my job is not to be people's best friend. It's not to make everybody hunky dory, you know, happy and great. And all that kind of stuff. My job is to move people from point A to point B. And however I have to do that, I'm going to do it. And when people start coaching with me the very first week, I say, whatever I say to you take nothing personally, as a matter of fact, if you're not cussing at me, and saying what a blankety blank I am of this and that and everything else early on in the program, then guess what? You're not getting your money's worth, because I'm going to push every button you have.
Now as you know, there's a podcast episode here on actually triggers and buttons are our greatest gift, because they show us who we are on the inside. And they show us what we have to evolve, you know what we can and what we have to grow through and evolve out of. So I also want to point out that people do not like you, or dislike you, because of you. Consider that people don't like you or dislike you because of you. They like you or dislike you, because of their interpretations of who they think you are relevant to their value system. Consider that they like you or don't like you, based upon their interpretations of who they think you are, relative to their value systems. Another example here, full of examples today, but another example is abortion. Think about somebody that you know, you you yourself, you might be you know, rabidly against abortion, and you have friends or you know, people or family members who are actually pro choice. And notice how you have conflicting value systems, so you're less, or you're tending to less, or spend more or less time with them, because you don't have the same values.
So what I want to share with you, is people aren't judging you, they're judging you and your value system based upon their interpretations that come from their value system. I even have an older episode here titled, I am not who you think I am. You are who you think I am. Okay, something else we want to look at is self-acceptance. And you have to accept who you are. Because if you don't, you're in for a life of turmoil. And so many times, we're concerned about the judgments of other people not even recognizing that we're the harshest critic on ourselves. And truth be told, and I may do an episode on this at some point. This was a big journey for me, learning self-acceptance, learning to appreciate myself and finding the value in me. And the reality is, is that some people will love you, no matter who and what you are, and some people will reject you, no matter who and what you are. That's the world that we live in. And what I want to share with you is ponder this is you can't grow. You can't grow and evolve in life until you accept yourself and that's looking into yourself and seeing that you know your own value and your own goodness and your own worth.
If you've listened for any amount of time, you've heard me mentioned my brother in law before the shaman Don Xavier His name is Xavier he's from Mexico D O N is just a Spanish. So something they put in front of the name As a show of respect and reverence, I do want to point out there is some dude on on YouTube named Don Xavier, that is not my brother in law because people have asked me. Now he purports and says that he's a Shaman. But he's not my brother in law because my brother in law has zero social media. And no platform, no website, nothing. I mean, real shamans don't put themself out into the world. And you'd be very fortunate even run upon one. And that's if they even let you find them. But as we've Don Xavier one time, and I was talking to his Don, who was his mentor for many years, and he said something to me, this was over 20 years ago, and it still sticks with me today. Now, in Shamanism, there's what's called on Nagual, N A G U A L. And Wikipedia has the wrong definition of a definition of it, they turn it into something negative, and it's an incorrect definition. And one time, I was talking to my brother in law's shaman, and he said to me, he goes, it doesn't matter what I can see in you, it doesn't matter what you're Nagual can see in you. What matters, is what you can see in yourself.
So all of us acceptance, you're looking for the approval, because that's what people want is they crave the acceptance of other people. And it's just part of who we are as beings. Now, I used to be one of those people, but I'm not one of those people anymore. actually quite the opposite. But you have to accept yourself first. And the reality is, because how can people accept you if you can't even accept yourself. And as I was saying, You can't grow, you can't grow until you accept yourself, because you're going to just be spinning your wheels. Until that point, something else. And I think this used to pertain to me, and never did as a kid. I mean, I don't know how I missed this part of life.
Maybe it's because I grew up in a small town farming town, and all of us kids grew up together. I mean, we all knew each other since second, third, fourth grade, kindergarten, all the way through high school. And there were 400 in my high school. But we never really had cliques in terms of popular cliques. And there, the reality was, this is a farming community in South Texas, one of the poorest counties in the nation, everyone was poor. I mean, we were working class and I had friends that were literally I mean, like, farm workers. So everyone, no one had any money. So we never had in these popularity contest at school or all that, but what I was alluding to is even in college, I went to a small school by choice. Very good college, it was small. So there was never that we were there were cliques, because I was in a fraternity, but there was never really any popularity contest. And I know a lot of people go to school and high school and stuff where they have these popularity contest. But what I want to share life is not a popularity contest.
It's not. And that's a trap. That's to even think that you got to be popular, and you have to be liked by people. I'm just, you know, as I'm doing this, I'm using these I don't have a script for any of this that I'm using and thinking about my mother in law, and my mother in law, no longer on the planet. She left, I guess five years ago when she was 86. But my mother in law was always so I don't even know the word It was so tragic, but so concerned with what the neighbors would think. And looking for the approval of the neighbors and what car is parked in the driveway, and this and that, and, and all these kind of things. I mean, she was so concerned about approval, that she would even do things that I would say sometimes perhaps weren't the most loving things, because their for her foremost driver was to not so much please the family or I don't I don't know where I want to go here. But what I want to say is, she spent so much time actually trying to make sure that the neighbors had an extremely positive view of the family, which they grew next to meaning her family, that she would do anything to go to any length to make the neighbors think certain things about them.
And that's partly just being popular with the neighbors. And like I said, I've recognized long ago that, you know, it doesn't matter. And if you look at some of the craziest people in the world, and people that do crazy things, guess what, they're not popular when they're on the planet, because it takes a crazy person to change the planet. It's everyone that conforms and does everything that the world wants them to do like COVID right now all the people conform And all the all the bandwagon and all the hype and all this stuff. The people who conform are not the people who change the world. I was thinking last night, I know a man named Akio Matsumora. And I've known him for 25 years now personal friends and Akio is the only private citizen in the world to bring together 1,000 world leaders. Six times. He had no government behind him, no parliament, no no particular funding, but he did it. I mean, the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa when she was alive and Nobel laureates and CEOs and 10% of the US Senate one time went and went to his event and celebrities and Robert Redford and Shirley MacLaine and Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald Reagan. All these people have been to his very, very exclusive events, royalty.
And he and I were talking One day, he was staying in my house in Dallas. And he was telling me about a man that he knew because Akio was Japanese. And he knew a man name, I think his name is Roychi R O Y C H I or something like that. But the last name is Sasekawa. And Mr. Sasekawa, was the wealthiest man in Japan in the 80's. And he had some, I guess, you would say some, some questionable business dealings, and there were some people concerned about his ethics and, and different things. But I did a little research on him last night, because I've never really looked it up. And I read that Mr. Sasekawa, spent a lot spent the last part of his life, trying to be a good example. And being a huge philanthropist, and doing things to really, really, really help the world. So I'm guessing he was making amends to the world. But Akio was telling me because a lot of people in Japan, they don't like Mr. Sasekawa. They hate the guy. And he goes, but what they don't know and no one knows the story I'm sharing with you. He goes, but what the world doesn't know, is you can hate Mr. Sasekawa, as much as you want. But he gave the World Health Organization and the UN enough money to eradicate smallpox from the planet in 1979.Think about that.
Now. I don't know if he's trying to win any popularity complex. But what's important is life isn't where I'm going here is life's not a popularity contest, you know, contest. What I look at, is what are you here to do? What what's your mission? What are you here to do when you're on the planet? And trust me when I tell you, it's not about buying the homes in the car, and the gold watch and the college education, it's about none of that nonsense that most of first world humanity gets into. And that could perhaps be a whole different episode. But anyway, just wanted to share that.
Okay, couple more here is number six. And this is something that a lot of people probably haven't thought about. Because they're trying so hard to be liked. is are you the problem? Have you considered that? I remember in my coaching probably three rounds ago, meaning I do two rounds a year, one in the spring one in the fall, three, four rounds ago, I had somebody that hadn't now I want to create this distinction here. Amazing heart. Amazing heart. But man, oh, man, oh, man, was she needy? I mean, from day one, and coaching and we have a lot of people in group coaching together and I'm in the group, my coaches are there. But man Oh, man, when she needy, I mean, just an energy drainer that I say, needy, I met needy, needy.
And about day three, day four, I'd had it I'm like, I can't do this for 14 weeks. I'm not going to do it for 14 weeks, she is suffocating. And something I don't do with my students is I sent her a private dm and I watched her behavior long enough to gather the information that I needed. And she was crying so hard to be liked. And I said, here's the thing, is that you're energetically suffocating, you're needy. And the reason you're needy is because you have such a big heart. You want to love you want community, you want people around you, you want to help people, but in the process of doing that, you've you know, virtually you suffocate people, therefore, people don't want to be around you. And the more that you suffocate them, the more they don't want to be around you and the more that they don't want to be around you, the more suffocating you become. And she said, Oh my God. She goes my husband said some things like that, and it's really taken a hit, you know, a toll and a hit on our marriage.
So what I want you to look at is if you're Find the real people in. Is it because you're being needy? And are you the problem? Oh, something I wanted to add there before I move on to the last bullet is, maybe it's you, maybe it's not you taking inventory, even ask and it's something that a lot of us are afraid to do is ask other people and ask them to be give them permission to be honest with you, and you're not going to get angry, and you're not going to do all these kinds of things to be, you know, for retribution or any that you're not going to throw tantrums or say bad things about them. But But ask other people if you're the problem. And if you are, then guess what? work on it, because there are many of you listening, you're needy. And when it comes to being needy, I can't judge that I can't there's no, there's not a value judgment that you're good or bad. It's just who you are in this moment. And guess what, personally, I don't enjoy being around needy people. So it doesn't mean that I wouldn't like you, it just means that I don't want to be around this person.
So a solution could be if it's not you is guess what? Here's a big big solution. Are you ready? Are you ready? Here it is. Hang out with other people. I mean, it's pretty simple. Hang out with other people. Because whoever you are, and however you are, and whatever you are, guess what? There are people just like you who want to hang out with you. That's human nature. This is why people aggregate to communities. This is why I used to live well not why I used to live in Manhattan, but I used to live in Manhattan, New York. And this is why you have the Upper East Side and the Upper West Side. And you have East Harlem and you have West Harlem, and you have Soho and Tribeca and Hell's Kitchen. And you have Alphabet City, and you have Chinatown and Korean town and Germantown and a certain Jewish part of town. Why? It's research has demonstrated that which is common sense is that people like to be around people like them. So guess what is Be true to yourself, as I was saying, and you'll attract the right people. I never concerned off topic here. But on topic I'm never concerned with who comes into my life or who leaves my life. I mean, I only have a couple of personal friends. by choice. I mean, I want a smaller tighter circle than a larger circle. But if someone wanted to leave my life and not be in my life, I'm totally okay with that doesn't mean I wouldn't miss the person. But I'm okay with it. This is such a short ride on this planet. Anyway, it really is. I mean, you're not here that long, even if you're here 90 100 years, you're not here a long time. So just don't get wrapped up in the other people like that.
There's a phrase that I live by, and I love the phrase. And the phrase taught by my brother in law, they're all taught to me, or shared with me is that the common man, it can be woman to or person, but the common man is hooked the other men, the warrior, meaning the spiritual warrior, is hooked to infinity. And I'm hooked to infinity because I'm going to leave this planet very, very soon, which could still be 30 years or so or 40 years or 50 years. That's soon and I'm going to leave so why would I get my claws into into hook into other people. And then number seven, here is a revolutionary one as well is I don't care many I'm not apathetic, I'm not negative. But I don't care. I don't do things and I don't change who I am. I used to many 20 30 years ago but I don't anymore. I don't change who I am. To get other people to like you. I'm sorry like me.
To give you an example. I live in Sedona with my partner we've been together 20 years. My partner's family is in town a couple of them another brother in law and sister in law. They wanted to go hiking today and go do some things and a nearby town and everyone's like do you want to go and No, I don't want to go I've got things that I want to do today plus a podcast and things I want to do and I live here and I can go any time but many people would say well yes I don't want to go but you know what I better go because if I don't go then the in laws are the I'm sure the brother and sister in law gonna think XYZ me so I guess I better go. I just said no, I don't want to go thank you for the invite. I'll see you at dinner. Now. I do not want to go. And that was it. I was done with it. I didn't feel bad about it. I wasn't remorseful about it. I didn't do about it. I didn't double you know Double guest myself and like, should I go? Should I not should I? Now, I didn't want to I did not want to go.
But something else here is the way that people feel or think about you. Has nothing to do with you. As I said earlier, you know, we I had because I live in Sedona to resort there were a lot of people that want to come visit, and my brother in law, his son, and some other people came. And I remember somebody said to me, that because I all I did, I'm very chilled and very laid back, but I think I am most times, but I actually asked, you know, party, and it's a big house to my house, but part of the household, can we just keep the kids quiet for 30 minutes, please log into my podcast. And as on deadline, I had to do it that day, because it has to go to my team. And it had to be done that day.
And later that night, somebody said so and so's upset at you. What, why? And somebody said, well, you made so and so cry. What? I didn't do anything. I simply ask if everyone could just kind of chill out for about 30 minutes. That was a not even a dumbing, they were here for a week, 30 minutes. And someone took that personally. And they and they they made it mean something about themselves. And when somebody said to me, You made me feel a certain way. I said, No, I did what I did. And it really I mean, it was nothing impractical. It wasn't unreasonable. I just did what I did. You chose to feel the way that you felt it has nothing to do with me. What it has to do is with the interpretations and the meaning that you put on it. And now you're choosing to feel in a negative counterproductive way because of your meanings and your interpretations.
Now, what I could have done is Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to please forgive me. What can I do to make, you know, make it up to you? No, I simply just said, what I just said to you, I won't go back into it again. But that's basically what I said. Why? Because the point of this whole podcast episode is I'm not going to give them my power. Why would I give them my power? Because you only have so much power? And like I'd mentioned before, if you put a nail on a tire, you drain the tire. So why would I drain? Which is my energy? Why would I drain that to appease the emotions and the interpretations of other people. And especially when we live in a world which I'm just going to say this, we live in a world of huge, huge, huge emotional immaturity. Literally, I mean, adults that throw tantrums when they're 16 17 years old, and act like they're five years old. There's a reason for that. It's because we literally come, we come to be who we are, but by about the age of eight years old, which is a subconscious mind all of that one of the earlier earlier episodes, I'm not going to go into it now.
But you know what, I'm not giving the world of emotional immaturity that we live in. I'm not giving that world My power. Don Xavier and I were talking. I was in New York, I remember this, it was a good 20 years ago. And he said something to me, we're talking about people wanting to be liked. And I think he was plying this to me, or obviously sharing a lesson because he never shares anything, just because there was a reason behind it. And this is what he said to me. And I've said it in this podcast before I'm gonna say it again, is he said, I am a shaman. I am a babalau. I am Nagual. I am a sorcerer. Some people think that I'm evil, and some people think that I'm the work of the devil. And on the flip side, some people think that I'm a spiritual master. But it doesn't matter. I am what I am. And when he said that, that is always is if somebody took a chisel and chiseled it into my brain, I've always remembered that I am what I am. And some people are gonna think negatively about me and hate on me. And some people are gonna think positively. I mean, I'm very fortunate, and I'm grateful. Thank you for all the positive reviews. I mean, I think we have like 1000 reviews and we're at five stars or 4.9 we vacillate between 4.9 and five stars.
But early on somebody in the podcast and the comments and you know, you can't delete them and I wouldn't anyway, called me A like a bad a bad person is what they said, I'm a bad person and all this kind of stuff doesn't matter. My point is that's just their interpretation of their opinion. And they're projecting wildly about things that they had mentioned in their comment. But here's the thing, is I just do what I do. Not everyone's going to like me, I know that and nicely, I kind of appreciate that. Why because I get people off my radar screen that are actually going to suck my energy or try to tear me down or whatever. So I know that a lot of people are not going to like me, I'm okay with that. Because I'm okay, knowing that as long as I do what I do, and I have my head down, and I have an open heart, and I do it with love and care and concern and kindness, and I do it like these podcast, guess what? Everything's going to be fine.
Okay, one more thing here. If you would, please. And you hear me mentioned quite a bit, then I'm becoming more a bit promotional here, we're not going to add commercials or any of that, that I know of, if you find value in these episodes, and the fact that you're here means that you will find value because again, why would you be here if you didn't find value? If you find value, literally, take 30 seconds, share the podcast, share it on your Instagram and LinkedIn, your Facebook and your Twitter, please share the podcast. Because if if they if it helps you, it's gonna help other people. Okay, so your transformational takeaway is, you give away your power. You give away your power, when you live your life by what other people think you should and should not do. And you subscribe to them. Alright, thanks for listening and do what you can to make it a great day to day. Bye bye.
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know, if you found value, they will too. So please share via your social media channels. Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to email@example.com, and I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is @iamjimfortin. Finally I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together, you and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening.