Introduction

Jim Fortin
You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This is an interview this episode. And in my opinion, this is an amazing, an amazing conversation with one of my students. His name is Manuel, and he's from Austria. Now, if any of this applies to you, what I'm going to share with you, which all used to apply to him, you're going to want to listen to this episode. So before I met him, he would not talk to people. And he wouldn't talk to people because he thought, I don't know what to say. And because he didn't know what to say he just avoided people, and really didn't have a lot of strong relationships. He also had an intense, and as you'll hear, I mean an intense fear of rejection from other people. So much so that he wouldn't even order pizza, because it would be delivered to his apartment or his house. And he wouldn't go to restaurants, because he didn't want to encounter you know what he was making up in his mind as rejection. However, that applied to him. He also again didn't speak up, because he thought he didn't know all the answers. And because he didn't know all the answers to something, he couldn't engage in conversation.

Jim Fortin
He also used to work from a place of I have to prove myself, no matter what. And I, in my interpretation, that's what took him into lifting weightlifting. But it's also an isolated world where can be, which means you wouldn't have to talk to people. And he worked from I have to get every thing, right. And as you'll hear him say, he was an extreme extreme perfectionism, or perfectionist, apologies. And he was his words quote, a huge control freak. Now, as I said, he was just well is a student of mine. And as we talk, in our time together, what he's going to say, many of you can relate to being the control freak, or not knowing what to say, or not speaking up or are afraid of rejection. And he's going to share with you about how he changed his entire life. And you will hear him say in this interview, that his life is so amazing, now, a year later than when I met him, his life is so amazing that he wants to cry. And as in every interview, I asked my guests to bring tangible takeaways for you, folks. And in my opinion, this entire podcast is full of the theme about not being good enough, and fear and rejection and having to prove yourself and do everything right, and being a massive control freak. And he's, like I said, and you'll find out he shares his story, but he also shares how he came to resolution to put all of that behind him. Now, if any of that applies to you, well, then keep listening. Enjoy.

Jim Fortin
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life from the inside out with his podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life in this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.

From Crippling Fears And Perfectionism To An Amazing Life

Jim Fortin
Okay, so today, in this interview, we're meeting with Manuel, and he is from he's made sure to correct me. He's from Austria, not Germany. I thought he's from Germany, but he's one of my students in TCP. And we picked him because of an unusual story or stories or things that he has to share that he's going to share with all of you listeners about Manuel what is the story you and I just talked about that you wouldn't do what in life?

Manuel
So the story just shares was that at some point, it's 2018. I was too scared to call a restaurant for a table or order pizza. So I was so scared about doing phone calls.

Jim Fortin
Okay, we're going to pick that apart is. And that's, you know, the whole point of our work here at, you know, in the podcast is helping people, you know see blind spots, see limitations and and go beyond that. But we're going to just dig in there in a minute is you said, You were too scared prior to us meeting and working you were too scared to call a restaurant or to call, you know, pizza or something. You were too scared because of what?

Manuel
So one huge story for me was to, like I had this message belief that I didn't know what to say. And this played out in so many ways. And yeah, even in simple things like that. And I also had this massive fear of rejection. And even simple things like, again, ordering a table and just the possibility that I didn't have all the answers. I think that sums it up best. Like this was like a huge thing for me. Back then that I was really afraid that I didn't have all the answers. And just the possibility that this might happen, even if it sounds completely ridiculous. That just scare the hell out of me.

Jim Fortin
No, that's good. That's this is what we do here is we help people see themselves so many people suffer from what we call social anxiety, or generalized anxiety. But so for example, we're going to take this apart, he didn't know what to say, Isn't that pretty? Basic? I love a pepperoni pizza. I mean, okay, I'll take we'll take that apart. And rejection, what are they going to tell you? Now you can't have pepperoni, you have to have, you know, Canadian bacon pizza? And then finally, is what answers Did you need? Let's take that apart. And look that. Is hat does that mean, when you say you didn't know what to say? And is that is that in the context of a restaurant? Or just, you wouldn't talk to people? Because you didn't know what to say?

Manuel
No, no, no, it's not just in content, in the context of a restaurant, like with everything else, like with meeting people, or just calling at some, I don't know, some institution applying for jobs, sales calls, like I started my business in 2019. I still was carrying around a ton of this stuff. And just also generally approaching people. So basically, in every situation.

Jim Fortin
Okay. So approaching, let's ask, let me ask you this, also, that we're going to come back to this. Where are you today with calling people or, you know, no one are feeling more comfortable that you don't know what to say, or the rejection, which I definitely want to dig into? Where are you today with that?

Manuel
Today, I'm in a very different spot, like I'm here on a podcast, which probably a couple of 1000 people are going to listen to like back then this would have scared the absolute shit out of me. And there's, there will be like, no way that I've done this. So right now, like, I'm a bit excited, but it's perfectly fine. I can show myself on social media, I do the sales calls, and I'm just way more at peace, because I just know that not that much can happen and will happen. And I also and this is probably like the biggest change for me. I'm just starting from I'm working from a place which is what can go right instead of what could go wrong. Because what I really realized is that doesn't really matter what your child what matter it is, there is like 10,000 reasons of things you could get into that might can go wrong. Like for example, you talk to person, and you get rejected that or they are rude to you, because it's like, okay, analytical, it's like no big deal. And yeah, but there's like, all these crazy things that might happen. Like they just ridicule you in public or tell all your friends or their friends like all these crazy scenarios. And I used to get into those a ton.

Jim Fortin
Yeah, okay, hang on. So you're used to get into the stories? A ton, right? Okay. So what's your take everybody that I've interviewed and it's been a student always goes here. And let's touch on that. And then we'll come back to this. So let me recap first here is what you had happening in your mind for people listening, is you had all these stories about if I do a meeting, or if I do that, or if I show up in public, or I order in a restaurant, or whatever, you had operative word stories of all the bad things that were going to happen if you did that. So therefore, you wouldn't do that, because you wanted to avoid your stories of bad things that could possibly happen. And then you changed your focus now to like, what are the good things that can happen? Right? So simple, even though it sounds simple, a simple tweak in your thinking, let me let me ask you your take on the power of stories.

Manuel
So for me the power stories, it's, yeah, it's crazy, it's like, the tool for you to just save your life to reach your goals, like example, but also be like, I'm in the fitness industry. And one story that I just see so much is that a lot of people have this belief that it's super hard to get to training, and it takes all this time, and you need to sacrifice so much to be in shape. And if you're working from this context, it's going to be extremely difficult for you to get to the gym. And for me, it's like, okay, I train because I will just feel so much better, I will look so much better, I'm way stronger, it's gonna boost my confidence. So this is a completely different place to work from, instead of seeing all like the quote unquote, negative stuff, and just, yeah, putting yourself more into place of possibility. And that is how I approach this.

Jim Fortin
Okay, so let's go here for a second. That's a really good response is I man note, here are the words. I think what you're really saying, or let me add my interpretation of it is it comes down to the place to work from relative to our stories. And we have to look at where am I working from, in my stories, do my stories, which are basically what I tell myself. Do they support me? And do they expand me and grow me? Or do they can track and take away from me? Right? Is that is that right?

Manuel
Yeah, so that's the perfect lesson set up? does it serve you or does it just take away from you? Yeah,

Jim Fortin
okay, good. Good, good. So I know you I mean, I've known you, you've been in my program for a while now and then

Jim Fortin
you. And when you started, I want to go here on a couple of places also, but when you start when you started with me, you were about to win the award. For the most analytical person out of 700 people that registered, you stood out at the front of the pack very, very quickly. as being overly analytical, I mean, everything with you was like extreme analysis. And even when you started I'm like, oh boy, here we go. Let's start this. I've got a I got an over analyzer here. And I want to dig into why people do that in a moment. But what do you think caused you to over analyze so much of everything?

Manuel
Yes, I'm still waiting for that award by the way.

Jim Fortin
Well, you don't need you're not you don't earn your past it now. me because I've watched you mellow out and our time together going from all wound up like I say wound up like a Swiss clock nice and tight a Swiss watch to now kind of like Whoo, we have a beer and a piece of pizza and chill out a little bit. But what do you think caused you to be so tightly wound in that way with the over analysis?

Manuel
Like for one huge thing for me was just need to know all the answer. And this from the way I said now, it just ties into control. Like I used to be like a huge control freak, which took me a lot of time to really get this because I never saw it that way before TCP.

Jim Fortin
Right. And wait, you had a blind spot Sorry to interrupt and I do that to clarify is and you know me well by now. Is that you? You? Were your words, not mine in this, the last interview troupe the last week here at the podcast also said, this is something I work with all my students on. Let go of control. Yeah. And you said, because your word is not mine, is you used to be a huge control freak.

Jim Fortin
Yeah,

Jim Fortin
Right. Okay. So let's keep on going there, if you can recollect your thoughts is what caused the shift? Where do you think you are today with that, and what caused that shift with you?

Manuel
The shift for me came to just realize, and this took me a while that I'm just extremely strong person, and they'll just figure it out, no matter what. And because I have to prove I have to prove that I can do it. And this just gave me a ton of peace. And the main work here was to just really come to see this. And once I get into this place, I got into this place, I'm just seeing things like, way more like as opportunities and not like this. Oh, shit. It's crushing. I don't know how to do this. Help me, please get me out of here. It's like more of like more of Okay, this is an opportunity. This is going to help me grow might be not might be inconvenient. Right now, but like, couple of months, years, I just look back at it and laugh because that's usually always for tenants. Right?

Jim Fortin
Yeah, it always you ever noticed I? We're gonna start a product line. And they sent me the quotes, which are things that you guys picked in the group, this TCP for what quotes do I want on T shirts and stuff like that. And one of the quotes they had is I didn't coined the phrase. So I said, Let's remove that quote or tweak it. But it was nothing has any meaning, except the meaning that I give it? And for those of you listening, you didn't see this, but you nodded your head? What's your take on that as it applies to you? And your growth?

Manuel
Yeah, it's a huge thing. So last year, Around this time, I had this crazy, like, I was putting this crazy pressure on myself to perform, to prove myself to get everything right, to get everything right at the right time, and so on. And I like from an objective point of view, I would say, like, had a really great life, like, amazing friends, amazing family, I was doing what I would love to do. I was getting started, I was starting to see profits in my business after like, expenses and everything. And I was still feeling like shit. And this just was something which drove me crazy. And this is like a perfect example up with like, how you interpret things like you can, you could see it as like, okay, everything is growing, everything is coming together. Or you can get into this place where I used to be with, okay, this isn't happening fast enough. I'm not good enough. I need to do more. I get got to figure it out. And this just, yeah, drove me crazy.

Jim Fortin
Which is related to control issue. Yeah. Which goes back to I have to control everything. So, you know, and your behavior. You know, like I said, I've known you for a while. But let me recapitulate This is the main theme here seems to be and I I haven't discussed this with you. But I'd like your take on this when I share this with you. The main theme seems to be by for example, when you wouldn't order from a restaurant or do things is that you were avoiding rejection, or looking for approval? Okay, yeah, that's what I'll put this together for you. Next, you talk about rejection is mentioned the word okay. So when we're rejected, we're not approved of by some people in some way for something, then you talked about not having all the answers. And I'm only assuming right now is that if you didn't have all the answers, then you were going to look whatever your interpretation was stupid, or dumb or incompetent, or whatever. And then you kind of segue and I made a note here, you said I have to prove that I can do it. And then you also said I have to get everything right. So the major theme ties into a lot of people listening is that we, as human beings, we look for approval from other people. And we will do anything and everything to get the approval of our family when we're when we're small. That's how we make sense of our world. And we I say that people spend 99% of their time either trying to not look bad, or to look good. And you're nodding, and that seems to have been like the major theme in your life. Now, you know, in TCP, we spend a hefty amount of time and you don't know what I'm going to mention yet. But I'd love your reaction here. Your thoughts? Maybe you have no thought? I don't know. But we spend a fair amount of time on self acceptance and self love. Did that in any way or in what way apply to you? And your growth?

Manuel
Yeah, that's a huge thing for me. So I use a year ago, this just I hate on myself, like, there's no

Jim Fortin
Wait we'll keep on just taking the this the system juicy stuff. Because a lot of people listening will have 1000 they're like, I hear myself in that guy. So let me catch up with the see you. Okay, you hate yourself. Keep on going. Yeah, like, I mean, not not beating yourself up, keep on going. Keep on sharing this, you know, relevant.

Manuel
Oh, my God it happened Yeah. So I was just Yeah, all my intention on everything. Were, again, in my interpretation, I was falling short. And on what I didn't achieve yet, and other people are in front of misses also ties into comparison. And I was just like, really miserable. And which also drove me to disappear, because I was still very skeptical. But I was like, Okay, I feel like shit anyway. So if a waste couple of a bunch of money doesn't matter that much.

Jim Fortin
I'm just a worthless person. Anyway, what's money to me, right?

Manuel
Yeah, pretty much. And so coming to really appreciate myself and let go for this stuff was like a huge process for me. And yeah, like, if you told me a year ago that I could be as happy as I am right now I would, I would afford to be crazy.

Jim Fortin
I love and this is really hard for me to hear that. Only because I get emotional about it. And that that's the result of what I do. And we do in TCP. To me, there's no greater joy than introducing somebody to themself and helping them get back their life. I mean, to me, that's just blissful joy. But let's go here for a moment. So I guess if we can encapsulate that, and a lot of people listening can relate. is what this means is, you didn't feel good enough about who you are, okay, you're just not good enough. Now, I'm curious about how you saw yourself. Because there there's a disparity between how we see ourselves and other people see ourselves. When I look at you, like I said, I've known you for a year in the lives, the groups and everything. You're a personal trainer, so I would guess you probably have a good body and you're in good shape. You're a handsome guy. You're really nice. I mean, you really have a really, really I think people listening can hear in your laugh. You have this joyfulness about you this pleasantness about you. Now, I didn't really know you were I didn't know you at all when we started. But that's the Manuel that I see now. Is that the middle? Well, you saw a year ago or were you a different Manuel, and this is the 2.0 version of you.

Manuel
So like the the complete opposite, like I even move the training stuff like to be fully honest. I just didn't. I didn't like to take pictures of myself. When I was like half naked. Even though like had a body which probably 90% of men would like to have even though

Jim Fortin
Stop bragging Come on.

Manuel
Yeah. Just telling the truth. Just joking. Even though

Jim Fortin
maybe you guys were just saying this keep on going.

Manuel
Like even though I had the strength even though I had the intelligence like I had all like this science and that I was quote unquote Making it people were like, Damn, you got it so figured out, you're so strong. And I was like, Yeah, whatever. And I was just in a place where I was feeling like I, no matter what I do it, it's never gonna be enough. And this was, again, this was a huge curse when I was so miserable back then. And

Jim Fortin
Your entire life was okay. So we hope people listening, you are miserable, then you may or may not remember in the program, I say that happiness is the space between where we are okay, you're nodding your head. Do you remember where we are? And what I mean? I'm sorry, not happiness. unhappiness is the space between where we are in life. I am right here. And the space between that and where you think you should be in life. And that space is a gap. And that gap is our unhappiness gap. Now, you nodded your head there? So the big theme for you here? Is, I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. Would you? Would you consider would you say not feeling good enough? Was that an unhappy space for you? As long as you felt not good enough, you were an unhappy person?

Manuel
Yeah, like I had this huge disparity between who I was and who I fought, I was supposed to be already. So I was constantly chasing, like, I was just picking up boxes. And, for example, when I was when I graduated university, I was just got a degree said, Thank you parted for a night, the next time like, this whole thing doesn't matter. Anyways, you're in business, and business isn't going well. So what's their interest celebrate. And so I had like this huge thing going on. And I'd like zero appreciation for it. And I was just like, okay, on to the next thing. And I realized, like, last year around this time, which was like, really pivotal for me, I realized that doesn't, it doesn't make any sense. And I, what doesn't make any sense specific, like this whole chasing thing. Like, I just noticed that when I keep going, at some point, I will just get whatever I want, I will achieve it. But this whole cycle of always being behind isn't going to end because there's always something that you can put in front of you. There's always this idea of yours, who you should be already that it can put in front of you. And I just didn't know any alternative to that. Because people were like, yeah, just chill out. Enjoy your life. And I'm like, what's their intention? Like, they used to be like,

Jim Fortin
I hate my job. How am I gonna enjoy it right?

Manuel
Like, exactly, I mean, I wasn't a fun person to be around this like a year ago. Definitely not Definitely not.

Jim Fortin
Okay, all your friends can thank me later then and your fiancee'

Manuel
Definitely can.

Jim Fortin
So let me ask you there. We're jumping around a lot. But this is really good. I've never asked this on a podcast interview. But just characteristic stuff. How did your mother and your father, how did you perceive they treated you when you were young, 4 or 5 6 7 8 years old. Because see something created all this something and you created all these stories about you're not good enough. You, you know, you don't speak up, you don't have all the something created all of the stories in you because we learn them from past experience. If you can remember, what were things you heard about you from your parents about you, when you are their expectations of you when you were you know, younger, much younger.

Manuel
I wouldn't say that this is something which I learned from my parents. So from today's point of view, I just have pure love and gratitude for my parents when everything they have done for me and the way they're still supporting me and everything and

Jim Fortin
That backup here though I am interrupting backup. Yeah, she had her time as well. Okay, now I can believe that see, but the thing is, this may or may not apply to you. But our parents, this is where I work from, is no matter what your parents did or who they were. They did the best they could in that moment with the resources they had. Okay, and we could say you know what, my parents weren't XYZ, but you know what, that's the best they can do in that moment. So what I'm getting at here is you're saying, well, none of my stuff is attributed to my parents. Yes, it is you learn from them. Now go back here is what things did you learn? Like, for example, you have to be the best at what you do you have to make the best grades, you have to get a good job. You have to like what are the neighbors want to think that's where I wanted to see if there was anything there you could share? What are things that you think you learned back then back then, and their attempt to protect you and be the best parent they could. But you learn things that were counterproductive for you.

Jim Fortin
Okay, so let me segue from the episode for just one minute, and share something with you that most of you are going to want to hear about, you know that I'm like, no nonsense, no hype, no rah, rah, my job is to help people change their lives from the inside out. So if you've been struggling, or you want more, or you know what, no matter what you do nothing changes, then again, you're going to want to hear about this. Because things don't change, we change. And the problem here is that most of us don't know how to change, we don't, because if we did, we would already be doing it. This is why you repeat your old patterns over and over and over again. And then you get frustrated and wonder why you can't change your old patterns. So I've got a three part series coming up that I do every year, twice a year, very well received. And many, many people have been through this program. And it's called the BE DO HAVE series. And in this series, I'm going to teach you very foundationally how to change the way that you interact with your brain to get your brain to work with you for what you want to create in life. And it's a three part series called The BE DO HAVE series, meaning, who do you have to be to do what you need to do to have what you want in life. Most people have it backwards they operate from HAVE DO BE, I'll explain that later. But we're going to dig into in depth, your subconscious identity, and how you see yourself and how that plays out. We're going to dig into your brain based habits. And I'm going to show you how your brain is designed to hold you back in life, and what to do differently. And then we're going to talk about Finally, characteristics and ways of being. And this is all live, I will be leading the training. And we start on September the 2nd. So Mark your calendar. And the other trainings are on the 7th and the 9th of September. But we start on September the seventh. So Mark your calendar, you can go to the shownotes and get registered there. If you're already on my email list, you will get notifications. And here's my promise to you. And the first 10 minutes, you'll understand exactly, and you'll see why you've been stuck in life. And no matter what you've done in the past, nothing has changed. So Mark your calendar for September the 2nd, and I'll catch you on that training. Okay, let's go back to the episode.

Manuel
Yeah, so like most of the stuff, I would say I learned at school. So when I got in school, I was put in this environment, and I was just feeling very out of place. And the teachers were like going crazy on me because I wasn't sitting still, but I was still smarter than the whole class and everything

Jim Fortin
Oh your smart, but you're not good enough. Okay, keep on going.

Manuel
Yeah, and that was just plain bored of just sitting around. And at some point, I was thinking I was in second grade Elementary School. That just gave me math stuff from like fourth class. And just to just shut me up and give me something to do. And I think I learned a ton of this dare that I'm just not the chest not that I don't belong. Like this was a huge thing for me that I don't belong even in this world, like a facade of place. For so long. I learned that I will just be punished if I speak up if I'm authentically I yeah, it was a lot of disbelief that I'm not good enough that even though I was doing well at school I just, like I was put like in the back row have to sit alone because I was just so chatty and everything and I had like, like, learned that I'm just an outsider that amount of place that when I speak up authentically, if I show who I'm really am, I'm just gonna be punished. And this is something which I think are stories that really brought me into a extremely counterproductive place with them. My parents in this context, they, yeah, they weren't really able to help me out of that, I would say, they were like, yeah, you gotta just cool. And it's important and everything, and, like, had a conversation with your mom. And I was just basically too scared to talk to my parents about this, because I just learned that I'm going to be punished. And when I talk about it at home, I'll just be punished even more and just shut up. And that's what I did for quite a long time.

Jim Fortin
Okay, this is this is really, really some some beautiful stuff in that I want to correct myself is that we all learn somewhere in our formative years. And for example, I learned that can you actually move your hand up to your camera just so we can refocus in just put your hand there? Maybe that'll refocus or move up or back just to refocus. Last There you go, Okay, good, good, is we learn to become who we are. And then we carry those stories throughout our lives. And then the mystery. The stories were perculate in the behavior, and your behaviors were hiding from people and not good enough and not showing up and have to be perfect perfectionist. And it seems that you picked up majority of that for you in school, which I picked up stories also from my first grade teacher, I remember that I you know, you're nodding because you can register late to it as is I was a straight A student than all subjects all through school, except math. And I almost always failed. And a teacher told me in first grade, she gave me a test back and I had a D on it. And she looked at me and goes, you're not good at math. And I learned in that moment, it wasn't I mean, I what I learned is, I'm not good at math. And I learned that as a six year old, and I carry that with me for many years. So you carry these stories. But I want to dig into something again, we've not we begin to in the groups, TCP groups, but not in the podcast. But in the groups everyone can relate with this. What does it mean when you said I don't belong?

Manuel
Yeah, so the moment like, the first weeks with TCP, I've really struggled to our shot to Yeah, let's to absorb the content at some point. It's actually quite funny. I just started to drink wine and the calls that just calmed me down. And when you said that, like you mentioned, and you also menti oned and unpack, because I think that when you were basically my age, you talk to your friends that by what did you do wrong to be dropped on this planet? And I was like, shit, I'm not the only one. And I never understood this. Or even as a kid, I never understood this, like, why do we have to do this? Why are people like going crazy about work, and just that they have cars, and they can can get faster to work and then complain? And I heard so many people, like, learn something good, study hard. So you don't have to do what I am. And I'm just like, what is this? This doesn't make sense. And also in school? Why do we have to shut up and sit still here all the time? Right? Can we just go out and have some fun? And this, I just don't fit in this society. I guess I'd like send them like to the, to the masses. And because I just really can't. I don't get it just like today. It's just compassionate. And I'm not judgmental anymore about it, which used to

Jim Fortin
Be of yourself more than anything.

Manuel
Sorry.

Jim Fortin
Okay, let me go here for a moment is that you were judgmental. But you are most judgmental of yourself.

Manuel
Yeah.

Jim Fortin
Over anything else. What I noticed here in this comment, I know you now. And I'm watching you, and I see your energy. And I see you in the group and I see how much you change in our time. But if you want me to tell you the reality here and share my observation is that a lot of people who've fall I don't like that word follow, but follow me on the podcast and 100% in TCP are what I call people that have shown up on the planet and are more awake, meaning they're just there, their senses are higher their sense about life and humanity and, and ways to live are higher than the lower functioning lower vibration masses. And what it seems happened here is that there's no fault or blame here at all. What it seems is that you were born into onto the planet with higher function. In higher awareness than the masses, and the masses sucked you in like a vacuum cleaner, and but you're not in here, would you get pulled you right back down. And you're like, I see all these things in life. And I have all these awarenesses. And I'm five, but the world tells me that I'm wrong. I'm bad, I'm not good enough. And so then what I'm going to learn to do, because I don't want to get punished, is I'm going to repress who I am, which I've called primary personality. Our secondary is the one we learn, and you've lived your whole life until we met, and your secondary personality, who you're not, because you're hiding yourself from the world. Is that fair?

Unknown Speaker
Couldn't describe it better. So I used to be like, I had a really, really amazing childhood in my early years. Like, again, extremely loving family was always outside, I love to be outside. I love to be in nature, and love to play. And I was extremely curious about anything. And so I think I got my parents to teach me how to read when I was like four, I was able to do like basic maths at five, or six, something like this.

Jim Fortin
And I'm 56 So good job on you.

Manuel
And I was just so curious about anything, and everything. And then when I got into school, it was like, it just sucked it out of me because it's like, okay, you have to do it this way. And the way we tell you and there's all these rules, and everything is so rigid, and I'm like, okay, I really don't want that. But I have to otherwise I'm gonna be punished and it just was running around with this mask. I'd say like, till last year like meanness started. At some point, like I always knew that I just couldn't do it. Like, if I walk neck or if I watch some Kubica I just get fucking excited just to looking at Yeah, I did. And I was like, I just can never do that. Like, I'd rather be some guy who wanders around in the mountains and does whatever I don't know. But I just couldn't do it. And so I had to figure it out. And it's really funny because it feels like almost right now, turning into a child again, but like more mature versions are your adult, stop trying to hurt and kick on other people.

Jim Fortin
No cry that will increase ratings. Go ahead, let it flow.

Manuel
And yeah, so that's it for me like, and, yeah, it's getting

Jim Fortin
But everyone please, I'm gonna interrupt you for a reason. Because we're all the time and I want to I want to there's good stuff here. everyone listening. Listen to what he said the way he's feeling now. And he wants to start crying. And when we discover ourselves, who we really are, and we live authentically, that's how we live our lives. And that feel I don't I've I have that in my life. Doing this with you and having you in the group and all the people that we do when the new ones coming is I can't explain the joy of service and being you everything that you are and and and letting people love you for who you are. not who you think and everyone listening. He's nodding, letting them love you for who you are. Not who you're trying to be because you're wanting them to think something about you to validate you. You are you said some of the year three times in our time together. You mentioned the word punished. What does that mean to you? I didn't want to be punished.

Manuel
Yeah, so I just again is to speak into school right? I just learned that basically the way I am isn't the right way and said like a whole crazy stuff. Like I used to try to punish myself towards results in. Yeah, throughout my 20's let's say until like now,

Jim Fortin
How young are you?

Manuel
I'm 25

Jim Fortin
Oh god, you're full of people. You're gonna go to bed at 25 and wake up at 50 that's just Time flies. Yeah, the pilots go back to you. you punish yourself? Because I'm sorry. Go ahead.I interrupted.

Manuel
Yeah, because I use this like some sort of fuel. And like last year, it could be like really crazy. And I was when I was in the Chairman, I started the deadlifts, and I started like bleeding all over my shins, looked at myself with the blood running down, and it felt like good about it. At some point, I was like, you're feeling good about watching yourself play it, this isn't probably too healthy, like, at all is crazy for at some point that I couldn't tender my brain anymore. And it was just like, smacking myself in the face as hard as I could to just cope with this. It was like, really crazy. And yeah, that's.

Jim Fortin
I like watching the Europeans because when they don't know what to say next, they're like, they explain it. They go. Yeah. So I know that they're finished at that point. So Okay, I got it. I got a couple of questions for you here. Yeah. Is Yeah. Okay. How do you? How do you feel about yourself? Now?

Manuel
Now, I just know that I'm awesome.

Jim Fortin
You know, that you're you are. So you can't see this in you. But I think you are now and I think people will they watch this video. But they hear you guys. He's extremely likable. I mean, he's so you know, we meet people and we're like, I need to get away from this person. It's, it's their energy, actually. You're very, very likeable and very engaging. But you never saw that in yourself.

Manuel
Yeah.

Jim Fortin
Right. Okay. So you're, you're clear. Yeah, you didn't see that in yourself. Do you see that in you now?

Manuel
I see it in, in my in me now. I used to think that I'm just someone you hate someone, you step over someone you don't want to have around with you. And I just reflected that outwards. And now it's like, Okay, I'm, I'm happy where I am living a great life getting better. everyday. Basically, I have great people around me, I have an amazing community around me. I'm doing work. I really enjoy it. I know that. Yeah. On the path of building something great. And beyond. It's physically like, I'm way more at peace. And happier. And,

Jim Fortin
Okay, I got your yes. So okay, a couple more three, like three or four things here. Yeah. Is your now with people always hear me say and I say this for people listening, is what I want for my students is joy. That's what I want. Because people come into the program all I'm here to build my business. I'm speaking to everyone listening, this is life. I want more, I want to build my business. I want this, I want that. And they don't understand early on when I say what I want for you is joy, and peace. and bliss because you can't do anything. And until we can find that joy. Life is hard. So you've found the joy. And you said your words not mine. Great plug, by the way for our work is that you feel like crying. And I don't know if people listening can relate to that. But when you feel so good about your life, you feel like crying. You're in gratitude at a heart level at that moment. I mean, you're at peace. At that moment. Do you feel complete? At least I do in that moment? So you see yourself now fill in the blank. I see myself as what you've already said. But let's see if you remember, remember what you said. I see myself as blank.

Manuel
Yeah, I see myself? Not someplace.

Jim Fortin
There you go. That's not what you said. You said I see myself as awesome. Yeah, that's an awesome place. You see yourself as awesome. Okay, for everyone listening, let's give them a big and whatever comes to you. We've not talked about this and nothing comes and then nothing comes in whatever comes is. If somebody said to you, Manuel, how do I you know, I look at you. You always feel good or you feel good most of the time. I mean, we're normal. We have ups and downs as humans, we have the manager thinking, hey, teach me teach me how to feel good about myself. What would you tell them?

Manuel
Like the one thing I also like to tell my clients if they are feeling down, I just get their focus their attention towards where they are, where they're having great results, what's working well for them, just to step out of this whole place, okay, everything is on fire. Everything is shipped. everything sucks. And I think this is like the first part of it, and also really getting aware of what's causing you to feel that way of what's causing you to feel inadequate, that you're not good enough that you're unhappy. And this is, again, not convenient. It's painful sometimes. But in my opinion, it's just like the only way you have or the only option you have if you really want something different, a different experience of life. And, for example, what helped me a lot is like, it's gonna be 10 years, I'm doing strength training in November this year and adjust see this insane transformation that I had on this level. And like the early servers traveling or just trying to figure everything out, I was trying everything and I just fuck it up. And that where I'm at right now, like, competing in powerlifting. And I can just translate this to everything else. If it's, if I have challenges in my business, I'm just okay. I've already done this, like, on another level, I have this awareness that I can do it. I see myself as a person who can do it. Who can make changes happen, who can get things done, who doesn't crumble from the slightest inconvenience? And yeah, that's what

Jim Fortin
I love. We're good. Let me let me ask you this final question here.

Manuel
Yeah,

Jim Fortin
Is that I did a I did a podcast episode, I think two episodes ago on life is not about your convenience. And then you're nodding. So you get that, you know, what I mean? You've been with me for a while is that we don't want to do things because they're actually painful. meaning they're pressing up against things we don't want to look at. And then what we do is we avoid, because it's more convenient, or easier to avoid than it is to go through the fire. Now, you can throw me under the bus and I still like you no matter what you say, whatever you say, I'm still gonna like you. Okay, I just want to reinforce that. I don't think it matters to you anymore. But I'm just telling you. A lot of people in TCP, I tell them if you're not cussing at me, or mad at me, or what are throwing things at me, then you're not getting your money's worth. My job is to push your buttons and the push you over the edge out of your old stuff. So you're like you pop. And now you grow? Did you find that any part of our time together was pushing on your old ways? It made you mad, it made you angry it made you say that hell with us. I don't want to do this. Did you ever find that in yourself and our time together?

Manuel
Yeah, I found that a lot of times, like, when I started listening to the podcast, for example, it was like, Okay, this identity story stuff makes sense, then you're going into shamanism. And I'm like, hell no. And it just turned off. And then a couple of weeks or months, they got back onto it. Then there was something new that was just not fitting into my model of the world. And anytime this happened, I would just get like really pissed and annoyed andTCP it happens a lot

Jim Fortin
of people listening, don't ever think about registering if you don't want me to piss you off and push your buttons because you're nodding. That's my job. Because that way you get out of your old zones. So you know, you were the Okay, I just want to confirm You're like a lot of people in the program. Who would say Frickin Jim, this program works, but the hell with Jim, and I don't and now we you know, we're the word another side and they're doing well. But I had to push them through the fire. And I guess what I'm asking here is did you find going through confronting things and dealing with these things and, and being angry and everything else was part of your growth process?

Manuel
It definitely was. Like it was always like you were saying something I got isn't very good and everything. And I was like, Okay, this makes no sense. And a couple of weeks later, it's always Okay, it's right. And now I'm like when I get triggered Now the first thing that comes up a case what is this trying to tell me? That's like a really good good place in my opinion to work from also with emotions, like when I'm getting angry when I'm getting I'm feeling shame because stuff is going to happen. At some point is just not going to Oh my God, I'm feeling this way again. I didn't make anything progress. Everything is the same. Yeah. But it's more like, Okay, what is this trying to tell me and just use it as some sort of guide instead of denying it, because I think it's a really poor strategy to just deny it because it's coming back anyways. And the harder you fight it, the harder it's going to fight back, and you're going to lose, you lose this fight, and just have some meltdown. And it's not fun. But if you just take it and see it from a more neutral place, don't put any meaning on it. Just ask yourself, okay, what is this trying to tell me? How can I use this also with fear, like my interpretation of fear is like a kid or something where I've potential to grow. So this is a much better place to go then, like, Oh, shit, I should, I'm not supposed to feel that fear. And fear is bad. And all of a sudden, it just takes like this whole. I forgot the word I can make. It's just so much easier if you don't. Yeah, attach so much baggage, meaning towards it, and just notice that and, but also not getting into it. Like when you mentioned, it's not always that fun. Like, I'm two weeks out of a competition I for launch in a month, feels that I come, I'm on fire, but I'm still pretty chilled. And I'm like, okay, it's just part of the game, I chose this. Like, that's a huge part, either, just get out of the victim, or get out of victimhood, and just see it as possibility and like today, I woke up and my body felt like, okay, not gonna happen today. So it's left another two hours, and I'm like, Okay, now we can get it done. And, yeah, five hours ago was back in the turn, because it's just what had to be done. And if I just focused all the time on, okay, I'm just feeling bad and everything, and I'm in pain and all of this, it's not gonna help me. And at the end, it's always coming down. Okay, does this help me? Or does it just make everything way harder. And that's the way I see things.

Jim Fortin
I love that commentary. And I was gonna ask you, which I don't need to now is, what's your final thought. And you gave your final thought, I'm going to encapsulate this, which we talked about for 14 weeks in TCP, and reinforce you are, where your attention is. You are where your attention is. And I'm going to finish on this. I think this is one of the best interviews that I've done here in terms of bringing, I mean, everyone brings something really good. To me, you brought you brought some major, major epiphanies, for some people listening. And I would encourage people listening, listening to go back and listen to this many times, because you will hear a lot of what you missed the very first time because your brain filters it out. Many years ago, Don Xavier, the Shaman who you actually were throwing rocks at me about now you're like, now, you know, Jim's right about this, let me know you're right. But it's just I've been around. My mentors mentor used to say to me, it doesn't matter what your your Shaman, you're Nagual and see in you, it doesn't matter what I can see in you. The only thing that matters is what you can see in yourself. And you here with me today is I don't even have words to express how grateful I am. That you can now see in yourself, what other people can see in you. And that has Transformed your Life by living from who you really are not other people's perceptions or interpretations. I do have to go because I have a call on one minute. And they're going to be like, Where's Jim? But I want to tell you, I'm and we'll talk some more in the groups. I'm extremely, extremely blessed and grateful for you. And thank you for being here today. And I'll talk to you soon. Okay.

Manuel
Yeah, thank you so much for the invite. It's been a pleasure.

Jim Fortin
Okay, bye.

Conclusion

Jim Fortin
If you're serious about transforming your life, from the inside out, I have a free training that you're going to want to listen to, and it's helped 10's of 1000's of people all around the globe. The thing is, all of my students start here, because when you learn to change your thinking, you'll change your life. Because as you already know, life happens from the inside out. The training is called discover how to eliminate fear and negativity and an instant so go to jimfortin.com/eliminatefear, and start learning how to Transform your Life at a deeper level from the inside out.

Jim Fortin
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know, if you found value, they will too, so please share via your social media channels. Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to support@jimfortin.com, and I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is @iamjimfortin. Finally I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together, you and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening.