The Jim Fortin Podcast

EPISODE 182: “Interview: From Feeling Not Good Enough To Center Stage!”

September 1, 2021

Download the self-hypnosis audio without podcast intro to listen every day:

This week’s interview is colorful for sure. My guest is comedian Annie Lederman. Being upfront, she does not particularly censor herself so there may be an F-Bomb or two or three. And, that’s fine with me as I want people to be exactly who they are and want to be.

As in all interviews we talked about a lot of things and in particular, we talked about four main topics.

1) How Annie was said she was “Afraid to put myself out” in terms of self-promotion.

2) How despite being a comedian/entertainer she was nervous and afraid of what people would think of her. She talks about how she’d obsess about what audience members might be thinking about her and her show.

3) How she felt “not good enough.”

4) And finally, how she used to be so driven by “external validation and what others thought about her and her show”.

As you’ll hear she experienced an assortment of self-sabotaging feelings and today she enjoys being on large shows, promoting herself, and sharing her art with the world. And, then of course all the accompanying feelings and behaviors with being extremely passionate about her work, sharing it with everyone, and how she now approaches her work…which was transformational for her.

There’s something here for everyone as she covers many facets of thinking that all of us wrestle with at some time or another in life.

ENJOY

We talk about…

And, so, so much more.

We talked for an hour about many aspects of money and even if you don’t own an online business listen to this episode because the tax truth is that you should own some kind of business, no matter what it is.

If you’re wanting to make more money in whatever you do in life or to capitalize on an online business then give this episode a listen, you’ll love it!

Transformational Takeaway

Just let go of the belief that we need to make things hard on ourselves. And we need to work hard to deserve success because that is attaching our self-worth to external stuff. 

Introduction

Jim Fortin
You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is an interview with one of my students and her name is Annie Lederman. Some of you might have heard of her before. She's a comedian, she's pretty well known. And in our time together in this episode, which I've titled, from feeling not good enough to center stage, Amy's going to share a lot with you. Before I go there, I do want to say being a comedian, and an R rated comedian that there might be an F bomb, or two or more than that in this episode. So just be aware, and I'm cool with that. I'm great with that. I mean, I want people to be who they are and what they are. And, you know, I'm great with that. I'm just letting you know, ahead of time. Okay, so Annie when I met her, she was afraid of and you know, you'll hear her talk about it. In this episode, she was afraid of putting herself out, despite the fact she was an entertainer. And she had put, you know, put herself out to promote herself. She was, you know, like, she was afraid to do it. And how she, you know, despite being an entertainer, and you know, making her living in front of an audience, how she was nervous to be in front of an audience, which is what she did for a living, because she was afraid of what people would think of her and her act. She also, which is a common theme in the last several episodes, is, until our work together, she never felt good enough. And I know a lot of you listening deal with that is that you don't feel good enough. And then finally, how is she was being driven by external validation. And she'll talk about that in center view about how people in the audience would affect her emotional state, by her, you know, being driven by the externals the people in the audience. So I think everyone listening will will be able to find something here that fits them. So I hope you enjoy listening to this episode.

Jim Fortin
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming Your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.

From Feeling Not Good Enough To Center Stage

Jim Fortin
Okay, guys, I've got a great, great episode for you. today. I am talking to the famous and well known comedian Annie Lederman. Lederman. Sorry, I for some reason like that, Letterman. There we go.

Annie
Jim Fortin no problem.

Jim Fortin
Well see as a committee, and there you go. I got that as a kid. So a little bit, but not much. Okay. So what a way to start, alright. We, I'm not sure what this is going to go for everyone listening. Annie was in my program recently. And one day, somebody that I know just I've never met him, said you were mentioned on Joe Rogan yesterday. And I'm like, What? I mean, who, how? And he said, You. And I'm like, Okay, and so I told my team, and No, none of us knew about it. And you not that, of course, on that interview. Like it's the knowledge that third, I read the third most downloaded podcast in the world. And you knocked it out of the park. And when you talked about our work together, I'm like, I really want to interview her. Because I don't really it doesn't matter to me that you're well known as a comedian and everything. What matters is the transformation that you've gotten for yourself as a human being. That's what matters the most. So when I listen to that, three or four minutes on Rogan, I'm like, I gotta introduce her to people, because I know that she can share things that people can relate to about being stuck in life and this and that. So there's no format today. Let's go here. So tell people about yourself very quickly, and then tell us where you were. And then where you are today, meaning in your life before we met now.

Annie
Right? Okay, so I am a stand up comedian. I've been doing comedy for since 2009, January 28 of 2009. Coincidentally, the exact same day I quit drinking Um, I, I, I've been doing comedy just this whole time living paycheck to paycheck. I'm always knew this was my work, but I was you know, I was always never really making money all my friends, as I continued on in comedy were are some of the richest people in the world. And, um, you know, I was like living in out of my car. And when I started taking your course, was the you were the you were the classic struggling artists. Yeah. Why say it's like it was the first time you live in your car. It's like, gonna be a good chapter in your book. And the second time you live in your car, like, maybe there's no book

Jim Fortin
Anything else gonna read this, right? You could write a book, probably a house, your car? Yeah, we're gonna go ahead.

Annie
I really, there was a disconnect, where I couldn't understand why I wasn't making money. But there was also another part of it was I was really afraid to put myself out there, which is like, sounds crazy, because every night I was going on stage. But I mean, I was performing every single night multiple times a night since I started comedy. But I was still very afraid of the judgment, even though that was kind of so much of it. And I really, like I didn't even want to post when I was in the TCP, the first couple of weeks, I decided I was going to post one of my stand up clips, I didn't want to post today, my Santa clubs. And, and I just was like, screw it. And I posted it. And it did really well. But who cares? Like, it just was it felt so good to do that. And now I post up all the time. I mean, I used to be really afraid when I would go on the road I would be almost afraid to promote myself because there was just this like, I was just so afraid I wasn't good enough or that people wouldn't like me and so I would be like almost whispering my tour dates and now I'm like promotion queen. I'm like let's go baby. Get here I love the product are gonna love the product is gonna be we're gonna have so much fun come to me.

Jim Fortin
Let's begin there is you know, it's interesting is that you're in front of people, but especially being a comedian. I mean, of all many of the professions that are in the arts, you're going to get tomatoes. I mean, for the worst amount of people thrown actually, you know, it just kind of goes along with your profession. Let's make fun of somebody. Let's have a good whatever. Yeah, no. And what's funny is that was one of your biggest Now let me ask you, were you nervous? Or were you afraid?

Annie
Um, I think it was like a little bit of anxiousness. And but it was fear. It was fear based because it was this like, Am I not good or and I realized that I was going up every time I went on stage to prove whether or not I was funny. And I was I was meeting the audience to tell me like, to give me this thing to give me this approval. And then I wouldn't know I was funny. So it was going every night if I didn't get as many laughs as I wanted, or if I focused on the person not laughing and rather than all the other ones laughing or compared not laughing.

Jim Fortin
I mean, I hear you're funny. But you know, some people aren't going to laugh no matter what you do.

Annie
Oh, and I used to just look at them. I used to look at them. And I would ignore the rest of the people. But you also don't even know what they're not laughing at. I mean, they could just be like tired or just watch like, not having that reaction. But I would always project you know the worst and be like, they like almost like they hate me or something like I'm going out to like, prove to these people and then what I realized was and this has been really helping me on the road now is that I'm having an I used your workshop of the mind which is to one episode that is

Annie
Yeah eplain I'm gonna get to see your point

Annie
The workshop of the mind is like a it's a hypnosis that Jim gave us in the Transformational Coaching Program where it's like you go into a room and I create a very specific room and I cannot wait to buy that house. I can't wait because I know it's coming but um, I will go into the room and you set your you say you're you're there to

Jim Fortin
Reprogram your Subconscious mind,

Annie
Reprogram your subconscious mind to blank and I made it be at first it was Money Magnet and I was trying to figure that out. And then I would imagine myself and you know, a shower of coins, which I don't know why they had to be heard of me. But I was like, oh, and then because I've just been dollars but guess what I would have given myself paper cuts.

Jim Fortin
Well, we would stop there. It's interesting that you early on. You just said it could have been dollars. But notice, isn't it? Which is how you think now I've watched this happen in you. Isn't it interesting that you picked coins back then as opposed to dollars starting out? Mm hmm. Okay, keep on going. Just wanted. I just want create motivation there.

Annie
I'm having trouble like I couldn't even get to the visuals. Like I used to say like, I would try to visualize myself having a beautiful home or something. And it was almost like that movie. inception, like where they would crumble to the ground and my I couldn't like let myself have that. So, um, so that I switched it to being on stage and an exchange of energy and light. So now I imagined myself on a on when I'm on stage, just like light exchanging. And now my shows are so much like that, that it's, it's wild. I have no clue what the sound is that's going on here. But I don't you know, it's it's just all this, it really is that it's this exchange of energy and just like a really cool thing happening and money like, okay, I don't need to turn this off.

Jim Fortin
That's okay. Yeah, just find out what's clicking there. We'll turn that off. And that's fine. Because everyone listening, we're humans. Same thing happens on our lives. We're like, we're ready to go. And then the dog barks or UPS, or FedEx? I mean, it's normal. Okay. So what created the big shift for you, is what I'm hearing is learning in the way that I taught you. Which we won't go into that here. But you learned how to reprogram your subconscious mind.

Annie
Yeah, I realized it was a self love problem that it was like, when it came down to it, it was, I just didn't feel good enough, you know, for whatever reason, and I've done so much therapy, Jim, and I done so many, like, therapy Podcast, where you get to the root of it, and then you see these patterns and stuff. And it's like, I just was like, how many times Am I gonna, like, drag myself through these things? And that's what is so attractive to me about the stuff that you do. It's like, not that you like, disregard the why but it's not important. Why isn't as important as it is like, what's going on now and moving forward? And the end result?

Jim Fortin
Yeah,I heard you explain that on Rogen. Like I said, a few minutes. And let me go there for a second is how come? Or what got you on one of the biggest podcasts in the world? I'm not asking for mechanics, I'm asking for what's in you.

Annie
I'm authentic, and myself all the time. I'm 100%. Always since I was born, have been myself and it's been something that like, has, like, gotten me negative and positive attention. And it's something that like, I'm really really learning to absolutely love every part of me so proud of myself.

Jim Fortin
Let's go here then. A lot of people as you as you know, and you've your own life, and you've witnessed with me is I tell people just be real, be who you are, be what you are just be you. And we're afraid to because we're going to get judged. And then we're afraid that if I'm if I'm me, then people aren't gonna like me. A question here is, even though you were being authentic, were you still afraid that that's still not good enough?

Annie
Yeah, I think it was that and I was also afraid of kind of like shining too much or taking too much or being like, it felt like if I were to be my full self photo must be like taking from others, which I learned like, is not it's really just like inspiring others to do that, too. It's not, there is no like, like, one amount of light. A light and it's just like how much you're willing to show up.

Jim Fortin
Okay, so let's, I'm gonna I'm gonna toss this that you pick one entertainer, one comedian, that you get their career,

Annie
no one

Jim Fortin
hang on, hang on, just so the audience will know. You're as big as them or bigger that we that we know. Who would that be?

Annie
I'm as big of or as bigger Jim. I really? This is a stumper. I don't think there's anyone do that the exact same level on that or that has been I really don't know.

Jim Fortin
No, no, no, like for Joan Rivers, David Letterman, Johnny Carson,

Annie
what about what about what level they were at when

Jim Fortin
you're huge, you're on stage in front of the whole world? What like what person now would be on that stage in front of the whole world that you're like, that's what I'm going to create?

Annie
I think Joan Rivers because she just never stopped. She didn't stop to the end.

Jim Fortin
Okay.

Annie
Her end and she wasn't. She always delivered everything she delivered out of it was always jokes. It was just she always like came back to what her gift was and she didn't apologize. You know, obviously there's room for apology if there's there's some like crazy misstep, but it's really especially with what's happening now with I didn't want to say canceled culture because I'm so over the term but it's like, I will never be canceled.

Jim Fortin
Yeah, let's go here. I was my picker.

Annie
But I was gonna say to you I was when I first started your your course. I was like very worried about getting canceled, and it was like week two, I was over it. I'm like, I don't. Why am I here on this earth, if I'm going to compress myself and keep myself smaller, I'm here to like, be as big as I possibly can.

Jim Fortin
Okay, everyone listening. We're gonna we're gonna take this apart when it comes to transformation. But the reason I asked you that, because I'm trying to contrast here, where you were and how far you saw you saw yourself going, before we met. And now and that's why I ask you give us somebody we can relate to, and I was going to pick Joan Rivers. But I'm like, I'm talking to Annie. And I don't know what's going to happen if I pick that name. Because I don't there's a lot of places you can go Joan Rivers, like but that's kind of who I thought. I mean, that woman was a powerhouse and she served till the end, you know,

Annie
You have I saw her the night before she passed away. I saw her on, she was doing one of the red carpet roundups on Fashion Police. And I was able I met her just like once in passing we both had shoes on he hers had more than four episodes. But um, she I I had seen her like very pretty recently, and I watched I never really watched the show fashion police. I just happened to watch it the night before. And I said she will go on for another 20 years. Like she'll just keep going. And then when she died, I was like, Oh my god, but she died. I mean, still at her prime. I mean, at her absolute best still so good. And she she came from a darkness. And that's what I kind of love, like not a darkness, but like an honesty about your dance or like the things that you've been through or the things that make you different. And she wasn't like trying to be how she just wasn't better than anyone. She wasn't acting better than anyone or

Jim Fortin
let's take this apart. The list you've given me so far is used to be nervous and afraid to be in front of an audience. Now I understand. I'm sorry, even what?

Annie
Even though I did it every single night multiple times.

Jim Fortin
But now you're not. Okay, tell people, the epiphany that you had, that made that shift for you.

Annie
I am now here too. I go on stage I go. It's an honor to perform for these people. I'm so grateful that I get to be here. And then I get to exchange the energy. I'm here to make people happy. make them laugh. I'm not here to take from them or need them to tell me I'm good.Do you know what I mean?

Jim Fortin
It's a it's a cap, is on course, because we talk about that in TCP. So would it be fair to say that where you come from now is part of what you're doing is not for the adulation or the self validation. But it's the service and the expansion, which is happiness and the laughter that and,

Annie
And the validation. Like I still work on it. Like sometimes I'm reading comments and stuff and wanting to hear the good stuff. But I really do work on the self esteem and loving myself. And it's, it really just doesn't matter. It's just it's helped me so much with just like, you know, what helped me with negative comments was when you talked about judgment of other people, and I was like, Why? Why am I going to judge? I have no clue why that person that called me a fat bitch. bogged down and like their day probably wasn't as me I don't want to compare, but it probably wasn't as good as my day. Like, I didn't I didn't have any I didn't. But I'm like, I don't know what's going on in their life. And a lot of the times I'm to whenever I've like responded to those things, or let them hurt the people or like, I love you. I'm just kidding. So it's like, I just choose to kind of like, if I see it just really when I start to get anger over like what am I getting mad about? And what like, why am I letting my ego be so fragile that some random person I've ever met like, and maybe I'm just not for them? Who cares?

Jim Fortin
Exactly. So let me add there would you say because I agree, I used to many years ago be like, Am I good enough? Are my programs good enough? Because if what if what if people like we laughed, I laughed at this now. I'm like, What if people compare me to the big tall guy that's been around for a lot of years, and then I'm not good enough. And now you've been around me for a while and we have quite a few people in the program. They're like, I want you over that person. And I'm like, Whoa, what, what what me? And they're like, we'll take you. And where I'm going here is when I learned to not this is a phrase I use a lot. Stop asking you how good you are and ask what the world needs. Yeah, what I'm getting on the podcast are getting to and you when I worked from the place that let me just go do what I do. Do it as well as I can. Let me have fun. I stopped worrying about what people thought about me or specifically, was I good enough? Now I'm asking you did that. Did you have that experience? does it apply?

Annie
Yeah,I definitely did. And I was comparing myself a lot and, um, yeah, I just it was never gonna and it really was never gonna be good enough. Even if I had a good set. It was like because everything was on that external validation. It would just deplete over and over again, but If it comes from myself, and it's not going anywhere, so just the performances are just so it's just, it's like magic. I don't even know what's going on. It's so it's so incredible. It's so fun to like, meet people and have them like, I just, it's just like, okay, so I like was I had a, like a history of sexual assault, and I've talked about it a lot. And I joke about it, and I and I, and I really, I'm at a place where I feel like, bring me my dog. And I feel like I'm like, I don't know how to explain it, where it doesn't sound like so crazy. But I'm like, glad it all happened. Because it's given me like this sort of like message to share. And I had these like, men and women coming up to me after my SATs, and having listened to my podcast and stuff, and they're like, thank you so much. Like, it's helping me get through, like, the stuff that I went through on it's like, it's just like, I could never have asked for like a better like, payment. It just feels so good to like, help people just like, realize that it's like totally okay. And then it's just the thing that happened and that it's like, you know, like, it made me an artist. It made me like and who knows, maybe it didn't, but it's like, I'm funny as fuck. And I laugh all day, and I have a beautiful life. And I just like, just like hearing people get that message from me with it's just it's like, priceless. It's priceless, which should be set up money, but also making like, money. But also it's priceless.

Jim Fortin
You said,I hear you. You said Well, I don't know what happened. This is what happened. The very subtle subconsciously, when you shed the fear, and I'm talking to everyone listening, when you shed the fear, you started showing up differently. You might that might be very subtle, but your inflection was different. Your energy was different. Your purpose

Annie
If you come to a show, it ain't subtle at all. I come out with like music blasting.

Jim Fortin
But hang on, hang on. No, I get Okay, I get that. But hang on it. We read people subconsciously not even knowing we read them. And that's why we're like they're not confident or they're afraid or they're this Why don't we read them subconsciously. When you shifted internally, you literally shifted something about yourself externally. Now what happened? As we sitting in the audience, guess what? We're seeing something different now than we saw six months ago. And we're connecting more with that person who was feeding you energy and you're feeding it back than we were six months ago. You shifted your world shifted. And that's amazing. When that happens. Yeah.

Annie
Because if I go out like scared, then the audience is going to be scared because I've been in an audience if I can think back, like before I was a performer being in an audience. It's scary because you don't want the person about you're like, Oh, God, I hope they don't. Bah. Oh, like I you know, once you see them nervous, you go, oh, like, for me, at least.

Jim Fortin
I think being speaker there's a phrase they used to train platform speakers. And the phrase is, is worse to Obama worse than bombing yourself or worse than you bombing? Not bombing yourself? Worse than you bombing is watching someone else mom. Yeah, I mean, that's like you cringe or like, pork, you know, poor lady, poor guy. You know, I mean, let's let's pull this out. I don't I don't want Yeah, this is hard. Yeah. transformation. So what happened? What I mean, you went from not good enough to now I'm good enough. Within six months, three months, actually four months,

Annie
I would say weeks Jim like I mean, it was like weeks when I started doing the subconscious reprogramming. And when I realized and I read, love your stuff, like your life depends on it. Listen to it. I like people to read to me. And I wasn't grateful Jim, I was not grateful. I was not I my career. If If I were to look it on paper big Oh my God, I have been successful this entire time. Like there's not been a minute I wasn't, but I was looking. I was comparing myself to other people. Why do you have that and I don't have that. And while I was doing that, I was completely not showing gratitude for all the things that I had. So when I first came to you, or you came to me or we were given to each other, um, I was living in this apartment, I did find a boyfriend. I had found someone that is very special. And I had done enough work like I like I shifted enough but it's just getting deeper and better now and we have a dog. It's just like, I woke up this morning, Jim. I was like, I want to scream. I'm in bliss. Like I want to scream like before we even had the dog. I felt that way about my boyfriend. But now the dog and my boy I'm like, oh my i can't believe what I wake up in.

Jim Fortin
You know him wait till you listen to him. And well, I'm interrupting. What do you list them at? Well, he goes, I went from my life being just, it was really bad. To I want to cry that I feel so good. And yeah, we're all able to do that. For me also, that came from I've learned over the years I had to, because I was always destructive if I didn't, I had to learn to love myself. And be mega tomic truly at a deep level grateful. Because when you're grateful, then you're grateful for the haters. You're lucky you haven't have haters, but you got to stage and this and that I got tired every day right now doing while we're promoting TCP. Trust me, I hear every day how stupid I am and what an idiot I am. And all these kind of things from the haters. I just we just click them on idle, you know, but gratitude. like Oprah said, gratitude is the attitude. But most of us we hear it, we're like, oh, that's good. Okay, next, we don't live it.

Jim Fortin
Okay, so let me segue from the episode for just one minute, and share something with you that most of you are going to want to hear about, you know that I'm like, no nonsense, no hype, no rah, rah, my job is to help people change their lives from the inside out. So if you've been struggling, or you want more, or you know what, no matter what you do nothing changes, then again, you're going to want to hear about this. Because things don't change, we change. And the problem here is that most of us don't know how to change, we don't, because if we did, we would already be doing it. This is why you repeat your old patterns over and over and over again. And then you get frustrated and wonder why you can't change your old patterns. So I've got a three part series coming up that I do every year, twice a year, very well received. And many, many people have been through this program. And it's called the BE DO HAVE series. And in this series, I'm going to teach you very foundationally how to change the way that you interact with your brain to get your brain to work with you for what you want to create in life. And it's a three part series called The BE DO HAVE series, meaning, who do you have to be to do what you need to do to have what you want in life. Most people have it backwards they operate from HAVE DO BE, I'll explain that later. But we're going to dig into in depth, your subconscious identity, and how you see yourself and how that plays out. We're going to dig into your brain based habits. And I'm going to show you how your brain is designed to hold you back in life, and what to do differently. And then we're going to talk about finally, characteristics and ways of being. And this is all live, I will be leading the training. And we start on September the second. So Mark your calendar. And the other trainings are on the seventh and the ninth of September. But we start on September the seventh. So Mark your calendar, you can go to the shownotes and get registered there. If you're already on my email list, you will get notifications. And the here's my promise to you. And the first 10 minutes, you'll understand exactly, and you'll see why you've been stuck in life. And no matter what you've done in the past, nothing has changed. So Mark your calendar for September the second and I'll catch you on that training. Okay, let's go back to the episode.

Annie
And it's it's such an easy shift to like, right in the morning. If I wake up with like a little, I can just gratitude it away. But here's what I wanted to tell you. So when I don't know if you know, okay, so when I first started taking TCP I was living in, first of all, by the way I had in my head, no money, I was broke. I'm in the middle of a pandemic. former. I can't do it. I didn't have any ads on my podcast that I was doing. I was making, like no money. I didn't want to take government money. Like it was just such a like, I just was like scrounging my apartment was $1600 my boyfriend had moved in with me. I was gonna break up with him then the pandemic hit, and I was like, stay thanks. I couldn't be more grateful for this damn pandemic. No offense.

Jim Fortin
You were you were gonna break up with him prior to sandbag, okay.

Annie
I was like, you're too young. You're this he said to me. Don't you just want someone to love you and help you with things. And I went, why would I want that? Like, I thought it was like, and then the pandemic hit. And I was like, I don't want to like break up with this person. I love this person. And he stayed and it was just like, we just fell in love and it was just this perfect. The pandemic was really a time for me to like break down barriers that I had built up for myself. So it was just only so fitting that I found you and I had been listening to your podcast, but I took the Money Mastermind course Yeah, I did. The BE DO HAVE. And it's funny the first time when I took the money masterclass, I missed one of them. And I didn't think about it for a couple months. You said one thing I heard and I took that when I got it and like shut the computer. It was like I'll watch the rest later. And what you had said was your value is not in what you do or how hard you work. It's in where you value yourself.

Jim Fortin
Yeah, and everyone listening is we think we been told that create value and you'll get paid and money's gonna flow from the sky. Not true. The money comes from valuing the value you create. And if you don't value what you create, then that's a lack of self worth. And if you don't value it, which you used to not do for your work, why would I?

Annie
Right?

Jim Fortin
Keep on going? Okay,

Annie
and I yeah, and I was like, cuz I'm like, when I'm working hard, and I'm stressed, you know, it's almost like sometimes when you're struggling in your brain, right? Yeah, it's not really that so. So I, um, anyway, so I heard that I was like, whatever, listen to BE DO HAVE, then Jim, when you had for anyone that doesn't know Jim had, he had heart failure and a stroke. And I went, I'm about to take this course. Like, I was like, I was gonna kick the bucket. I'm gonna take this friggin course before this guy passes away, or whatever. floats into the bucket. Yeah. But I was like, but I'm like, so I'm grateful for your heart failure. Thank you. It's a lot of money made me a lot of money. But I'm,

Jim Fortin
like, I'm glad I got a heart failure, failure to help you as long as I can help. That's all that matters.

Annie
No precious. But, um, so I really, but that was a like, okay, let's not like wait around. But I didn't have I must have had, like, I maybe had $600 in the bank $7 in the bank. And when you offered to be able to pay monthly I when I met him, I saw I just got to do it. There's just no way. I'm just not, I'm not gonna like wait on this. I had never spent this much money in my life, which was the total like on one thing. And I just said, like, screw it. I'm doing it. And so at that time, we were living in this apartment, it had been sold to another bill to another company, who had been trying to get us out. They were doing construction around every single apart. Every wall was getting construction all day there. The Black Lives Matter rallies were going on right outside our house cop cars burning helicopters, like it was just so much intense noise. Um, the crime got really bad in my neighborhood. It was like, it was just like, I felt so trapped and miserable. And I wanted to get a buyout from this company. So I was staying there. And I was like, not like using my brain to think of other ways to make money. I had an ulcer, I was just so stressed out, my dog got mange like, everything was just like, it felt like I was trapped. My world was a nightmare. I sign up for your course. My my boyfriend and I go eventually go see our parents for the first time since the pandemic. So that was probably a couple of weeks in to the course maybe three weeks and we come back the apartment buildings have already taken our, our parking or this like so we're like these victims of this apartment complex now that are taking up parking our laundry and we come back and they boarded up the whole front of our building. And we just looked at each other said enough. We don't I go we're moving in two days. I don't care. What happens. We're getting out of here. That must have been May. I said We're leaving. So I go to my mailbox after that second, okay. It's been one minute maybe I go to my mailbox, I open up the mail. I'm like, I got to figure out a way to get out of this. I know I can. I can manifest this money or figure it out. I open up my mail. It's a letter from the IRS. My old brain goes Oh fuck, what do I owe them? Oh shit. And then I go Wait, I just spent 3000 $4,000 on this fucking course. I'm using it. So I was like, I have the thing that I want. This does not mean it's bad. This is just a letter. That's all it is. I opened it $6,000 in unclaimed tax money how when does that happen? They just gave me $6,000 that I was

Jim Fortin
He give it back to you.

Annie
I like that that Got that? We moved out in two days. The first apartment complex we we looked at was perfect. We decided to get a one bedroom because we liked the lighting. We got the one bedroom. We've lived here for three months. We're moving to a two bedroom I spent I broke the lease because I got lease breaking money. It's the our rent was $1600. That was May we moved out. June 29 was my dad's 80th birthday party. I bought a first class ticket to go surprise him for his 80th birthday party for $1600,

Jim Fortin
which we talked about in TCP. That's kind of a secret for later but we have to expand the money consciousness.

Annie
But it made it meant nothing. It was like I didn't I don't worry about money anymore. I used to worry about money all the time. My jaw was clenched all the time worrying about money. I don't worry about it at all

Jim Fortin
because because

Annie
because it's I know it's a it's if you create expansion in the universe and you are here to for the exchange and flow of money that it will always flow to me I'm 100% of Money Magnet and I I it's just like the shows that I'm doing now it when I used to go on the road, I would you know, I was scared to promote I don't want them to come see me not be good. What if they don't like me? Um, now that I'm, you know, my, my biggest self and I'm, you know, I have a podcast that people are really resonating with I, I mean, I did a show in Utah, I sold out every show, I hit my bonuses, I never had a bonus, I hit my bonuses. And now I just keep it in the bonuses. And sometimes I don't. But the people that are there are so it's such a special, amazing, fun, unique experience to be with them. And it's just like, absolutely, it's just fire.

Jim Fortin
Now people haven't changed, you've changed. But is it fair to say which I say a lot, but sometimes it takes us forever to get it is that the world doesn't change, we must change first. And when we change the world will change. Yes, you changed and now you're having as I am observing and you're sharing a completely different experience of life as a result of you shifting.

Annie
Can I tell you one thing I forgot about it

Jim Fortin
Sure.Okay.

Annie
Before we moved out of the apartment? You were talking about? This was the I don't know what, what week it was. But it was when I first started listening to love yourself, like your life depends on it. And you were talking a lot about gratitude. And so is our whole week on gratitude. It might have been that week.

Jim Fortin
We talked a lot about gratitude. It's not a week or two, but we talk about it constantly because it's a foundation.

Annie
I'm so I'm like so anyway, so I went around my neighborhood. And I said I was like you know what, this neighborhood, right where I live is kind of like messed up right now. There's a lot of like stuff happening right in that block. When I started these walks. And, and I just got I love myself, I love myself, I love myself on the walks I started like looking up, and like looking at all the houses in the trees and was like, this is a really nice neighborhood, a beautiful neighborhood. I feel so grateful that I live here. I'm really gonna miss this neighborhood when I when I move out of here. And I just started to like think in the in those terms, like I just really was like, Okay, another thing, I kind of like looked at money as being like, evil or hard or like, greedy. Yep. And now I look at it. Like you were saying it's, it's, it's to help you make your life easier and help you expand. So it's just, it's so easy. For me, there's things like that I stress out about where it's like I can just really just spend money to not stress out about that. And then the money will come back to me and I'll be able to, like do more of what I'm here to do rather than like, oh, how am I going to get this car to this car that I'm just like, I can just hire someone to figure that out for me or

Jim Fortin
it makes life a lot easier. Let's go back here for a second very good stuff. Many years ago, my mentor Don Xavier, his mentor said to me, he's a Shaman and the Sorcerer. And he said that we placed too much importance, self importance on ourselves. We don't see the world. And I remember one day I was pulling out of my garage, and I wasn't feeling good energetically, it was the full moon wasn't feeling good. And I pulled out of my garage. And I'm like, I feel really bad today. As I pulled out, and my Mercedes, I mean, I'm not even grateful for sitting in a Mercedes and I pull out of my garage. And I'm like, What a beautiful day to day. And you know what if I focused on myself and how bad I felt right now, I wouldn't even notice how beautiful of an extraordinarily beautiful day it is today. And that was a reinforcement for me about 10 years ago, is placed my awareness on the world outside and the beauty in it. Not what's right now, you know, I want to distract myself on something that's not going to serve me. So I wanted to add that. And then some money now, you said you used to think it was evil. I never thought that I just always repelled it. What do you how do you feel now? Nothing feel how do you feel now?

Annie
Money? I don't I don't feel any. I just go oh, I don't even know it. I just haven't I don't know what to say I just have it.

Jim Fortin
Like it's normal. Right? It just comes

Annie
Such a part of like putting my pants on. I just money goes into my account. Take them off at night. money goes out of my account. It's I just I'm telling you, I my whole family. Nobody has ever had this like thought process. But it's just it's crazy. It's just, it makes so much stuff easier. It's like I went on this family vacation. And my brother was like, stay with us. He just got this big house. He's like everybody Stay with us. And I was like, I'll just get a hotel. He's like, No, no, no stay and we find two days and I'm getting screamed out. I was like, I was gonna buy a hotel. But it's like it is those things where it's like you can just do these things that are like it's like helps me create boundaries and space. conserve my energy. It's just such an I don't know, I just

Jim Fortin
It's a tool.

Annie
And what and I don't I don't have that like oh wait, maybe I shouldn't get that. Do you No, I don't do that. Like, well wait. Like, I just I just get it. I mean, I don't go crazy. Like if the first class is like $2,000 I won't do it. But for my dad's birthday, I was like, isn't it important for me to show up as happy and comfortable as I possibly can to celebrate this amazing, wonderful man that's in my heart, you know, like, wouldn't that be the thing for me to do? And it's just my whole family is kind of shifting around me. It's like, Jim, I got a text message from my mom that was like, did I like time travel and go into my mom's phone and send this to her like, because it was something like I had always needed. And now I don't like need it. Now. It's just such an icing, like, icing on the cake that my mom just sent me a text message that's like,

Jim Fortin
you don't have your phone. You left it in the other room. I think I know, what does it say if you want to share? It said, Can I go grab it? Yeah, go ahead. Guys, she will be right back while she gets busy living in one bedroom how far she got to go. She'll be right back. And you know, when she had her dog, I'm a dog lover. I don't know where things are gonna go with Annie. She is a comedian. I do respect her tremendously. When her dog hopped up, I was gonna say Oh, like Paris Hilton. But I had no idea where that was gonna go. And I'm like, I ain't touching that one right now.

Annie
I just flashed my vagina. I'm sorry, kids. That's a old reference to a magazine. Okay, so from my mama. Like this was I didn't say Mom, can you send me like the nicest text? She does wrote me out of nowhere. And she goes, I forgot to tell you when I was trolling you on their internet, I listened to a podcast you did in the beginning of the pandemic. And she said, I have to tell you, it was absolutely hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing except to cough and blow my nose. She was sick. She goes, I'm so proud of you and what you've accomplished, sweetheart, it's all you no one else.

Jim Fortin
What does that mean to you?

Annie
It's just like, I joke about this, but my mom will go like podcasts are so boring. I'm like, which progress feels like yours? And I'm like, What? Like, you're so honest. I'm like, I love that about her. I'm like, oh, and I definitely got it from her. But, you know, it's just, it's just nice that she, like, loves what I do. It's just It's so cool. My aunt uncle came who I really like had a lot of judgments on thought they wouldn't like my thing. They're a little religious and stuff. And they were listening to me make jokes about my butthole. And so they were just like cracking up and having it was just like, What is going on? I'm like, this is insane.

Jim Fortin
Well, this is a new, a new angle on the podcast. So I'm not even gonna touch some of this stuff. We're gonna leave it alone on this podcast. It's a generally a Disney rated podcast, but it's fine, too. Because you know me, so that's fine.

Annie
Yes.

Jim Fortin
Totally. All good.

Annie
About my Parents.

Jim Fortin
External validation. Now, what what was it? That was a bridge for you, because this is the big one for a lot of people. I need people to like me, and I have to bend over backwards. Everybody will like me and accept me. And I have to say the right thing, or they're not gonna like me, or I've got to do the most amazing job, but they're not wanting to like me. What was that pivot for you to where now you don't feel like you need that.

Annie
I like myself. And so if I just realized if I were to be going off external validation, and I were to be focused on what other people wanted from me, how would I ever win that game like that? Just so impossible? It's like, how would I can't go into people's minds know what they want? It was just I was so tired. You know, I was just exhausted trying to fit into these things. And then I didn't even I didn't even like it. So I just now say what I feel and think and I tell jokes that I think are funny. And, um, you know, you guys do what you want.

Jim Fortin
So what would it be also that you've surrendered to just being you?

Annie
Yeah. Surrender is a big one. I mean, it really is just like, it's so good. Like, it's just surrendering. And it's so good.

Jim Fortin
Explain. I mean, we talk about a lot. Let's hear your perspective.

Annie
Because I'm in bliss. I don't even know what to say. I'm just like, just things keep happening. Like, it's just like I'm getting, I don't even want I don't want to sound like I'm bright. I like what you say where it's like, you're like when you sometimes when you say some of the things that you have, you're like, I'm not bragging I'm just like showing you that you grab it too. Um, you know, but I'm like about to get a Tesla. It's just like things that I'm like, I was like living in a car. And it's just, it's not the things are it's just I want it and I it's the type of car I want to drive and I can have it now. And it's like, I wasn't letting myself have those things. I was sabotaging myself. I was like, I was you know what I thought my problem was going to be coming into your program.

Jim Fortin
What's that?

Annie
procrastination.

Jim Fortin
And

Annie
That doesn't that word doesn't like exist in my life. It's just like, What do I want? Do I want it and can I get it? It's like, I just get like, I'm manifesting things at a level that it's like I it's so I have to like let myself go. believe that it's happening because it is happening. I mean, just weird. Like, I'll just like I want to see I was in New York and I wanted to see my friend Rex. I'd lost his number. And I was like, I want to see Rex. And I was like, I'm just gonna go into his neighborhood. And I'm going to do a live feed. And just see if I can find Rex because I wanted him to come to my shows, because he used to come to the open mics. I won IP and I got a call from in 10 seconds. I got a call. I was like, Huh, I just knew I just was like, I'm gonna go find Rex I'm gonna go get him like, it wasn't like, I hope Rex is like, I just was like, I'll go get that.It's just like,

Jim Fortin
That's I talked about earlier in the podcast is that we're all connected energetically. We're bio electromagnetic beings, as you're familiar with many, many years ago, make this very short story. Good, very good friend of mine in college, we backpacked across Mexico after college back in the 19, early 90s, late 80s. And I knew that he kind of become this person where he just was a traveler, Nomad. And one day I said, I wonder where my brother Chris is, I haven't seen him in 10 years. And I got an email that day, the next day email the next day saying, hey,Jim, was there a company in Italy, where I used to speak and I go back to Italy quite a bit to speak there. And they said, This guy sent us this email yesterday, he's looking for you. And he saw you on our website in Milan. And we're sending you the email. So one day, I'm like, I'm looking for Chris, the next day, Chris, he's looking for me at the same time. And the next day, I get an email from him through them saying, Let's reconnect. And that's the power of our thoughts. I mean, our thoughts or our thoughts manifest like Ernest Holmes said, Let's go here. Let's wrap up kind of here. We're gonna wrap up with you.

Annie
Can I say something that I just

Jim Fortin
Yeah.

Annie
I said this in a in one of the groups or something, but it's like, I just realized, like, I get every single thing that I want. And I always have gotten everything that I want. So it's like, it was just a matter of what I wanted. And because I had these, like, these, this problem with self love, or, you know, this, I struggled with, I don't even know what the words I mean, I just, I just didn't love myself. What I wanted was to reinforce that. So that's what I was doing. But everything I've wanted, if I've had a moment where I wanted something, I've always gotten it. And I don't mean that in a bragging way. I mean, I've run for my life quite a few times, too. But it's like, I really, I really got what I want. And so now that I'm like, know that it's really wild, and it feels like I'm in this playground of lay, and I like it's so cool.

Jim Fortin
Let's shift that that's important. Let's shift that, as I tell people and TCP is I don't want anything. Because to want nothing is to have everything. That's a powerful phrase, when we finally we get it and we really get it. So I've noticed your languaging and our time together in the long time that I've known you months. And when you intend for something, your intention, when you intend for it to happen, it happens. You this is going to happen. That's going to happen. You mentioned a couple of times in our time together, I knew it's going to happen. Oh, it happens. That's the power. So notice also how powerful you are. Because when you use your attention, and you use it consciously, boom, it shows up for you in your life. Power.

Annie
Yeah. So well, you're like it's like, sticky or like give me

Jim Fortin
when you want something you tell the universe you don't have it and universes okay kid you don't have it, then we're not gonna you know, you're you're focusing on not having we're going to expand that because everything is expansion. So we're going to expand you not having that. Let's do this. I know that you and I could talk for a long time and a lot of things we could talk about this would have to be literally PG rated if we really taught I know that I know you but let's go here is this is not about TCP. If somebody came to you and said My life was like your life six months ago, what are what are the things we've talked about it but just your own words? How do I change my life? How do I do what you've done to get out of those ruts living in my car? How do I change my life? What do I do? You were coaching them not selling them anything coaching them? Why would

Annie
I do listen to your podcast? I really don't know how we're going to get this bill right because a You owe me some money my friend. Um, I can I okay, I have I'm gonna just I gotta just say real fast. Yeah, I was I did a show in New York, and Todd came with his wife. The camp is the guy long last name from TCP. Oh, yes. Yeah, talking about you and line at the meet and greet. And this guy behind me was like, What do you guys talking about and I and I got this long messages like oh my god, I'm already feeling shifts like It really is like amazing the stuff that you do and it's I was very scared in the beginning because I got through landmark and I really felt very like I had been in a call not saying landmark as a call, but I felt that way. And I really gets get all right, I had been very squishy, like sounding dogmatic or like this is the thing you have to do or whatever. But it is like I do like letting people know about you. You don't have to, but

Jim Fortin
No, I'm, I'm truly grateful for that. Because it means I'm doing what I need to be doing in the world. But just give me like, you know, three minute spiel, my life's upside down, and where you are as a human being today, tell me how to get out of a rut. Not TCP, none of that. It's

Annie
Yeah, um, I would say you need to work on loving yourself. You have a subconscious belief that you should have whatever you have right now that you're unhappy with. And do you want to roleplay back?

Jim Fortin
Well, loving yourself and be happy, right, which I talk about all the time. And, you know, when people hear that it's such buzzwords, they skip right over it. And let's go there. Let's finish up there because I just did an audio series and I've mentioned this a lot in the last 30 days is we dismiss when we hear love yourself, we're like what is that mumbo jumbo New Age bs? Blah, blah psychobabble, armchair babble psychological crap. I know people do that some people. Would you and I tell people in the audio that I recently created, you don't love yourself? Nothing else is possible. The money the health there, it's not going to work. It just won't. Would you say that? If somebody said give me one thing. Your friend, your bestie from high school? Give me one thing? Would that be the one thing?

Annie
That would be the one thing?

Jim Fortin
Power? power? I want to say this I you know, unfortunately, I'm not like Joe Rogan, where I go for four hours. You know, and then he gets for a while and different people, but I'm grateful for you. I really am grateful to know you. I'm grateful to work with you. I'm grateful to have the experience with you. You're quite an amazing person. As as pretty much. No Not as, as everyone in TCP. As you know, it's all these amazingly powerful spirits.

Annie
Oh, cool. I'm not trying to explain to my friends were like, all these things are happening for me. But it's like, not just me. It's like, it really is like, it's just really, it's really amazing. I'm so honored to be on your podcast. I'm so excited. I'm so sad. As I'm doing I really want to say a million things. But um, I really Yeah, I just,

Jim Fortin
You know what we can also do like James that we've never done this before. But we could also do multiple episodes. That's an option. So I want to tell you that speaking of love, I love you very much. And I'm very grateful for you. And thank you for investing your time, the little glitches we had. And today and then our scheduling and everything. I'm honored.

Annie
I told you that I was like I just I just didn't want you to know, I'm stand in

Jim Fortin
I didn't think you were flake at all We you guys are listening with some scheduling problem is it's my fault, my team, our responsibility, not your fault. But we dropped the ball in a few places, which is very rare. And I was actually telling a team, I was like, her time is valuable. I mean, she could be doing a show she'd be traveling, we got to make sure that we do not drop the ball anywhere in our processes, which we normally don't with, as you know, but anyway, it worked exactly like it needed to work.

Annie
There's a thing I wanted to say to you that I really really love about you is there have been times when I've tried to almost like Popeye you or like, um, I don't know, put you on a different level than me and you just never that's not what you do. You're not like I'm this, you're here to expand and have everyone. Like you're not like don't these are copyrighted things don't take like, you're just so generous. And it's really like, I just, I'm just, I feel blessed. I love you. I I just it's just amazing. I'm so excited or more and I just love not knowing things. It's so cool. I don't know, it's just really cool.

Jim Fortin
That's what we tell people and that's what changed your career for you is my whole role on this planet is to create expansion for other people. And the more expansion that I create for them, the more they create for me, and to me that brings me anything and everything that I could air quote want in life, and it's all something it's available to all of us is you've validated today is I just get up on stage and you even said I create expansion. Laughter I love to laugh as you know, you know, and, and I'm much different not on the podcast and even in the group. I'm just direct you know that.

Annie
Don't worry, I'm gonna get you not on it.

Jim Fortin
Okay, that's good, that's fine, but you know what you created. That's it. So thank you for being here and I will catch you in the group. Okay, how much Jim such an honor? Thank you. Okay, no. Okay, bye bye.

Conclusion

Jim Fortin
If you're serious about transforming your life, from the inside out, I have a free training that you're going to want to listen to. And it's helped 10's of 1000's of people all around the globe. The thing is, all of my students start here, because when you learn to change your thinking, you'll change your life. Because as you already know, life happens from the inside out. The training is called discover how to eliminate fear and negativity and an instant. So, go to jimfortin.com/eliminatefear and start learning how to transform your life at a deeper level, from the inside out.

Jim Fortin
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. If you're the kind of person who likes to help others, then share this with your friends and family. You know, if you found value, they will too, so please share via your social media channels. Also, if you have questions, I'm here to assist. You can email me questions to support@jimfortin.com, and I may even use your question for a future podcast episode. Also, if you want transformational content like this daily, connect with me on Instagram, my Instagram name is @iamjimfortin. Finally I do have a personal request. I believe that we're all here to help others and to grow and evolve ourselves. together, you and I, let's help more people. If you would, please leave a review on iTunes and a good one by the way. I'd be grateful and through your assistance together, we can transform more lives. Thanks for listening.

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Jim Fortin

Jim Fortin

Jim is an international subconscious self-transformation and high performance expert with over two decades of expertise in brain based transformation and high performance. Using a brain based approach coupled with transformational psychology and ancient wisdom Jim has created programs that create long-term core-level life transformation in his students.

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