EPISODE 254: “The Patterns Of Your Life”
Here’s Part Three of the Identity Podcast Series.
So, we’ve talked about two fundamental questions:
1. Who are you and 2. What makes you matter?
Next, the question for this week. That question is: What Are The Patterns Of Your Life?
We tend to get into our heads and we always think about what we think, especially as it relates to our identity but what we often never do is look at our patterns.
We often agonize over “who we are.” But, it’s really an easy question to answer. When you look at your behaviors, that is exactly who you are when it comes to 3D identity.
Now, of course, you are not the behavior but you are the doer of the behavior and that comes from your identity.
In NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming there is a powerful acronym, it’s BMIR. It stands for a Behavioral Manifestation of an Internal Representation.
That means…all your behavior comes from somewhere and that somewhere is internal, meaning, your identity. Behavioral Manifestation is your behavior and patterns and Internal Representation is your thoughts – your identity.
So, in this episode we look at your behavior because your behavior is like fingerprints, your behavior is yours and yours alone.
You’re listening to the podcast because you want change in your life and to get that you have to observe what you do because that’s a reflection of who you are.
“Mind is the master power that mold and makes, man is mind, and evermore he takes. He thinks in secret and it comes to pass that his environment is his looking glass.” James Allen. Your environment is a reflection of your behavior and you’re behavior is a reflection of your subconscious identity.
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You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is part of a series on identity and this episode is titled the Patterns Of Your Life. You know, most people never really think about it that way. And people go through life often saying, who am I? Who am I. And if you go back to the, you know, the first episode in this series, obviously everything I'm talking about in this series is human identity related. Meaning you that bag of skin that's living on the planet. Because I talked about your bigger identity. And the first episode. But this whole series is about you and the physical life that you're in creating the experience that you want on this planet. What we often don't look at it as we run around thinking, who am I? Who am I? Who am I. But that's right in front of us. What I often tell people is if you want to know who you are, that's really simple. Go look in the mirror. Because see your life is a reflection. Everything you have in your 3d physical world is a reflection of your patterns and your patterns are a reflection of your consciousness or your subconscious identity. So in this episode, we're going to start looking at the Patterns Of Your Life. Keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom, all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. And this podcast is for you because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Okay. So let's look at the patterns of your life and before we do. I want to recap just a little bit. In the first episode we talked about, who are you? And your takeaway, there was you are a being which changes based upon where you hold your attention, and your attention is your consciousness. The next episode, the last one was titled. What makes you matter? When, you know, what makes you matter, you can serve at the highest level possible for you while you're on this planet. And then this episode is obviously about what are your patterns and what are the patterns of your life? I can go really deep into this episode, but I want to keep it to this role. I want to keep it 3d I want to keep it air quote, human. But I want to talk about your patterns, and I want to talk about who or what causes your patterns. All the patterns and patterns in your life I didn't cause them. Your mother didn't cause the patterns so to speak, meaning your patterns that you're consciously choosing as an adult today.
You're choosing your patterns. Now, of course, we could say, well, your mother influenced you and you growing up and your identity, and that affects your patterns, which is true. But right now as you're listening and you look at your patterns, the last let's say year, Who's creating those patterns. Who's choosing those patterns. You are choosing those patterns. Your brain is choosing those patterns. Your brain is choosing this pattern. Now, if you've listened to me for any amount of time or any other things that I've done. You heard me say that our brain, our brains it's research and demonstrated our brain works on autopilot. And where we go from as we go from subconscious identity. To behavior, to the outcomes that we create in our life, which means the things that you have in your life. And that equals your patterns. So that being said, your patterns are a direct reflection of your subconscious identity.
At the 3d level, your subconscious identity is who you are. And like I said, if you want to know who you are, go look in the mirror. Look at your bank account. Look at your living environment right now. That's who you are. You know, I, for example, am very clean. And what I mean by that is a messy environment. It actually, I have a challenge with it. And one of the reasons is that I process information predominantly visually. On a cluttered environment, literally just kind of sends me over the edge. When you get into my car, my car, literally, I keep it washed. I keep it clean. That's a reflection on the outside of who I am on the inside. I know I was watching something a couple of days ago, Netflix, and this guy was a hoarder and his house. I mean, literally it was probably not inhabitable for human beings. At least in the first world. I mean, it was, it was a mess. It was really bad. Well, that house came out of his brain. That literally came out of his model of reality. So all of your patterns come out of what I call your model of reality, which comes from your subconscious identity. And, you know, I'm going to hop around here a little bit in this episode.
But people will often speculate about what other people say, what they mean, et cetera. And plain and simple people will ask me, Jim, how do you coach? How do you know people? So well, it's really simple. When you watch people, people will tell you everything that you want to know or need to know about them. By watching and acutely observing their behavior. Watching what they do, watching what they don't do, watching what they say, watching what they don't say. So it's very easy to know who people are because I watched their behavior. I want to share this thought with you also. When people tell you who they are through their behavior believe them. Many of you get in traps where let's say that you've got a problem with a challenging partner. And this partner you're thinking of leaving this partner. And then what the partner does is they say, oh no, please, please, please. I'll change. I'll change. I'll change. I'll do this. I'll do that. And then many times what we do is we, we give in and we say, well, okay, Maybe they'll change. Because we're listening to what they say instead of watching what they do.
Now. I'm going to generalize a little bit, because again, I've done this for a lot of years. Most people will not, or do not change. Why? Because they'll pay a lip service, but they won't actually engage in the behavior of self-transformation and changing themselves. So your takeaway from this little snippet right here is when people tell you who they are. I won't yell at you anymore. I won't scream at you anymore. I won't hit you anymore. I won't steal from you anymore. And then they do it. Well believe their behavior, as opposed to believing their words. So a person's behavior will tell you everything, including your own behavior. In NLP neuro-linguistic programming. There's a concept called it's an acronym and it's called B M I R. What that stands for is a behavioral manifestation of an internal representation. And what that means is every behavior that you have has to come from a preceding thought. Every pattern that you have comes from a proceeding thought. Here's the caveat that proceeding thought is generally subconscious. Why? Because as I said earlier, We work on brain-based autopilot and subconscious identity.
And when you look at your patterns, your patterns translate into your behaviors. And then as I just said, your behaviors come from your subconscious identity that's why it's so vital that you transform your subconscious identity. And that's one of the reasons that I'm doing this series is to help you have a better awareness and understanding. That everything is driven from and by your identity. So, if you want to know who you are, that's really simple. Look at the patterns of your life. And that will tell you exactly who you are at a 3d physical body human being id level. So, a vital question for you is this. Ask yourself. The question. What are my circumstances and patterns. And what circumstances and patterns do I keep repeating over and over and over again. For me decades ago I would often wonder how come I meaning Jim, how come I'm always broke. I'm always broke. No matter what I do, I can't get ahead. I'm always broke.
My pattern was being broke. When I looked at my bank account, I mean, for many years when I was younger in my twenties and even into my thirties, I was afraid I was afraid to look at my bank account because it would remind me of how broke that I was. So I would go through a long stages of not even looking at my bank account. It's not the same today, but you know what. As you probably have heard me say before in other episodes I grew up poor. So at the identity level, I was a poor person and reflected in my environment was that poor person. Why? Because I was always broke. Now a mistake that I made and I want to caution you against making the same mistake is that we often personalize our patterns on our behavior. And we personalize them with an identity label. Now for me, what I started saying, and it became my identity. So, the behavior was, which was coming from my subconscious identity that I'm always broke. Those were my patterns. Therefore, I labeled myself is I'm always broke. I'm always a broke person. I'm always a broke person. So, so often. We take the pattern and then we personalize it, and we make it mean something about us.
So, think for a second. What have you identified with and what are you labeling yourself as I'm so bad because of blank. I can't do blank. I can't do blank because of blank. I will always be blank. And when we personalize things, then the first thing that we do is we take this personalization. And we give it meaning we give it meaning about our identity because I am the kind of person who blank. And that means blank about me. And that means also XYZ caused it, which also means blank about me. Plain and simple. Patterns your patterns. That's it, your patterns or your patterns? These are interpretations you're making about your patterns. And the reality is none of them are actually true unless you own the identity of the person having that characteristic or that trait, which becomes a pattern.
Next question. Simple question. Have you ever wondered why I did you ever wondered why you stay in your patterns that hurt you? I'm not going to go into that big time in this episode. But the reality is, is what I've noticed over the years and including myself is we stay in the patterns for many actually psychological reasons called identity confirmation identity verification. Because we want to know air, quote, know who we are, and as long as we're getting battered or abused, or we're always broke, we know who we are. Now, this episode is not about that. But what I've noticed over the years, and this goes back to identity. Many people keep themselves in destructive patterns because they don't think they deserve more. Something else that a lot of people do. And trust me, when I tell you I'm not tossing stones, I was in the same pattern for many years. I mean, this thing was like a crater for me, and I would fall into it for a decade and a half, especially after college.
I was one of those people that would sit there and try to air quote, try to think positively. And then I could never figure out why, you know, why things would not change. And I would hope, and I would wish, and I would want, and I would pray. That things in my physical environment would change. And I'm going to share something with you right now. Things don't change you change. And it's not that you change your behavior. It's not that you change your patterns, it's that you change the consciousness and the being meaning you, the conscious human being, who does the patterns. And that's why the podcast is called transform your life from the inside out. You must start with your thinking. You must start with your consciousness.
So, when many people do metaphorically speaking, they stand in the middle of the road and a bus is coming and they say, oh, uh, oh, a bus is coming. I hope I don't get hit. And splat, they get hit. Why? Because they're sitting there hoping and wishing and wanting and praying, which is what I did for decades and candidly, that does not work. But what I also noticed many years ago that pattern of sitting there and doing nothing and hoping and wishing. And wanting and praying. Came for my subconscious identity. And that's when I had a big AHA many years ago, recognizing hell. If I want change in my life, it's not what I go out and do. It's who I'm being and how I'm being. That's what creates my life for me. And actually, if I change my being, I can change my patterns. I want to change my patterns. I can change what I have in life.
So let me synopsize that they were repeated again. People think that they are X, Y, Z, or a certain kind of way. And they actually own that identity. And that's, you know, I asked you earlier, who do you think you are? You're not the identity that you think you are. You are a conscious being who holds that identity and that identity is what creates your patterns for you. And, you know, you probably already know in a good's without saying in my podcast, because I talk about stuff like this, a lot who you think you are at an identity level that determines your patterns, your patterns determine your behavior and your behavior determines your outcome. Now as you're hearing all this, it should become obvious to you why you don't have what you want in life, because your patterns have created the opposite for you and the patterns come from deep within you and the subconscious and brain-based level.
That being said, I kind of alluded to it a bit ago. I want to mention the concept of self-deception. I've done some research on this over the years and Anatole France once said that the greatest ability of the human being is to deceive themself. And we're all extraordinarily deceptive to ourselves without even recognizing we're being deceptive to ourselves. But in the research, what I discovered years ago, Is that the reason we deceive ourselves is because to some degree, if we deceive ourselves about who we are or what we have in life or our perceived shortcomings that keeps us happy to some degree, therefore it's easier to get into self-deception. As it is to get into self-discovery and self-realization, and then solving that and healing that. And the bigger problem with self-deception is that many times. People let the self-deception go on for way too long. And many times that creates physical damage within their body. Let's say for example, an alcoholic. I don't think I don't like using that word alcoholic because a person's not alcoholic. They are a being doing an alcoholic behavior.
But we'll use that as an example, and people will get deceptive and say, no, I can continue to drink. I can do that. I can do that. I can do that. When each and every time they do it, they're getting worse and worse and worse. And they're getting into the self-deception about the damage they're causing their body. That's why it's vital, that we create more and have more awareness than our life as to the patterns of our life. Our, our patterns, getting us what we want. Or are they taking us away from what we want? Also, there was a study that I done that was documented many years ago in the LA times. And what was postulated in this study? Is that. The ability to see to, to deceive others. Is partially an evolutionary advantage, meaning it was needed many, many, many, many thousands of years ago. That if we could deceive people and things that would help actually keep us alive. And it's believed that some degree.
That that's why humans get into self-deception. Whether or not, we recognize it. It's a vestige of our evolution and it actually serves, or did serve an advantage many, many, many hundreds of thousands of years ago. There was some research done at the university of California at Santa Cruz, many years back by professor Robert Trivers. And what he, what his research demonstrated is that people who function really, really well, they often imagine that they are a little bit better than they actually are. They're thereby inflating their own self-esteem and self-worth. This was called. I think there was a radio personality who actually. Created this word, or I don't know where the word came from. I'm sure somebody listening would know. But it's called the lake Wobegon effect. Lake Wobegon effect is that we tend to, when we are observing ourselves next to someone else in comparison to someone else, we tend often to actually evaluate ourself at a higher level. I remember, I remember reading a study many years ago where college professors were asked to rank themselves and their skill. And comparison to other college professors at their university. 90% of professors said they were a better professor than their colleagues. Now, statistically, that's not possible. But that's what we tend to do is we tend to actually inflate. Which again is self-deception. Now the positive thing about self-deception is that it can often serve as a foundation for courage or hope or in the face of overwhelming odds, but the reverse has, conversely, what Krebbers said was is our Triver's sorry, what Trivers said was is if people are forced into a more realistic view of themselves they often become depressed. So, what we do is we deceive ourselves and in the attempt to not become depressed.
Now the question that I have for you as it relates or as it relates to this podcast. Are what patterns of self-deception that? No so the question that I have for you as it relates to this podcast is what patterns of self-deception do you have that you perpetuate in your life that keep you stuck, where you are? And even though self-deception is not the focus of this of this episode, I really want you, or I request that you explore that. Where do you get into self-deception that creates patterns for you and you live those patterns over and over and over again. Because the reason that I bring it in is many times these patterns are very hurtful for you. And the best examples again, which I mentioned earlier is, oh no, he'll change. She'll change. They will change. And then we get in the pattern of deceiving herself. They will change. And they don't change we get in the pattern of deceiving herself. Oh, I'll change later. I'll change later. I'll change later. We don't do it. Therefore, nothing in our life changes because we don't change. And these very patterns that I'm mentioning right now are the patterns that keep you from what you want in life.
Before I go any further first, I want to thank you for being here. So I'm going to segue here for a second. And one thing that I know about you. Is that you're the kind of person. Who always wants to improve yourself. And I'm going to assist you even more. And the next few weeks I have a nine day series coming up. And I'm going to assist you to go even deeper into your ways of being, which your ways of being drive your identity. I'll be reminding you over the next few weeks. And a great way to know more about what's coming up is to join my Facebook. Podcast community. Just go to the show notes here and search Facebook for transform your life from the inside out community as well. There'll be a link in the show notes. Also, in that community. Candidly I'm not a big fan of. The general Facebook population or community overall, there's so much negativity out there and I'm not a fan of that. So this community, my community, my transformational community on Facebook we dive deeper than what we, you know, we do here on the podcast. But it's all support It's all a very positive community. And if you want to learn more and grow more and expand more than joined the community, if not, you're going to miss out because I'm going to be doing quite a bit there for the next 90 days. So join my Facebook community, keep your eyes out and I'm looking forward to helping you even more and to have a much better year in 2023. Okay, let's go back to the episode.
So what's really important is that you get honest with yourself. Because even with what I'm just saying many times, we don't want to admit our patterns because it scares us. It makes us feel bad. It makes us feel inferior. It makes us feel less than. Therefore, it's kind of like putting fingers in your ears, going LA LA LA LA LA. I can't hear you. And if we ignore the pattern. Metaphorically. We can't hear it. We allow the pattern. Why? Because to look at the pattern. Oh no, that would make us feel bad about ourselves. And as you know, I'm sure, you know, and you've heard me say before. We as human beings move from pain to pleasure. And if you have to explore the pain, we don't do it. Therefore we go to the pleasure and avoid the pain, therefore staying in the pattern. So just ask yourself. What are some simple patterns? That are destructive that you get into. And they could be things as simple as which is not very simple because it affects your brain and it creates a dopamine release in your brain is social media. And if you haven't done any research or you don't know. By the way social media is designed to keep you scrolling wine. Profitability to put ads right in front of your face.
Even the little when, when, uh, people like something on your Facebook. And you would open your Facebook. I don't even know if they do it anymore. And you would see all the likes, what Facebook would literally do is they would, I'm going to use just human words. They would hold your like, so let's say you got 10 likes. They wouldn't give you, like, by like, by like, what they would do is like a slot machine. When you logged on, they'd give you all the likes at one time. Why? Because that creates a bigger dopamine release, which makes you feel good, which makes you want to go back to the app. Which meaning Facebook. Which means you want to stay on Facebook, so you get more likes. Why? Because your brains being conditioned. All the while Facebook and the advertisers are going, Ching, Ching. They have your eyeballs on their app. So, look at your patterns. What patterns are self-destructive and hurt you? And it can be a myriad of patterns. It could be social media. It could be being in the pattern, which comes from my habit of being angry and pissed off at the world.
How about this, the pattern, which comes from fear, the pattern of procrastination and not getting things done. Another one here is which I've learned this one and the next one from my father, the one I'm thinking of number one is not committing. Many people are afraid to commit because if they do, they may be tied down in some way. One little caveat here is that some people actually enjoy their freedom so much, which we all want freedom that we actually will not commit to do things because we recognize, or we think it's going to take our freedom away. Not recognizing that by being committed to something and making something happen in life, it gives us more freedom later in life.
So what we're doing is trading long-term freedom for short-term freedom, which is causing a long-term prison for us. So I learned that one from my father about how not to commit to things, how not to commit the projects, how not to commit, to getting things done. Another one that I learned from my father, my father was an alcoholic and he was for as many years, as I remember. Is not being responsible. My father is I look back to when I was in high school and middle school. And I think about it. My father had a pattern of not being responsible. And. As I look back, he wasn't responsible as a father, as a breadwinner and everything else. And I remember my, my grandparents always talking about how irresponsible your father is. Your father is irresponsible.
Well, unfortunately, because kids learn from their parents for many years, I learned to be irresponsible. When I look back at college, I got through a private school. I paid for it myself and four years a good school. So I do have, I mean, we're not a hundred percent of everything. I do have degrees. Well back then I did have degrees of responsibility, but I would be irresponsible, which was my pattern more than I'd be responsible. So, and today I'm very responsible. I mean, these podcasts and the things that I do in my company, and it has a global reach and the podcast, millions of downloads and the programs that I do. I'm responsible. I get my stuff done. Why? Because they worked for my highest value. I work from service, which I talked about in the first episode of this series. Next. Make a list of your five most helpful patterns. And I'm only going to spit ball. This one for you. Just kind of, you know, think of this as I go through it. But what patterns do you have that really help you? Maybe it is that you're consistently responsible, maybe it is that you consistently stay committed to things. Maybe as simple as a pattern is your own time because you value people's time when it comes to meetings or phone calls or whatever. Maybe you're up early every day because you want to work out and that's a pattern of yours.
Maybe a pattern is taking care of yourself. Maybe a pattern is not taking care of yourself. Maybe a pattern is working out. Conversely, another pattern is not working, you know, working out. What's vital. Is that you understand the patterns? I'll say it again. And I hadn't even said it yet, but this is what I'm going to say. What's vital is that you understand your patterns? Take a step back. After this episode, before you go do anything else? Just get quiet. Just. Get quiet. And ask yourself. What are my most constructive patterns. What are my most destructive patterns. And I do want to point out. That I'm not going to go into it here, but yin and yang. If we constantly qualify. Our life is good. Good and bad meaning good patterns, bad patterns. If we get rid of all of our bad patterns. Then the bottom part of our good patterns are going to become bad patterns. So really what I'm saying there is. It's a constant journey. What you really want to look at is. What patterns must I be? What patterns must I do. To get me the outcomes that I want in life.
So, this whole episode is about when you look at. When you look at what you don't have in life right now, things that you made desire consciously. When you look at what you don't have, plain and simple. It's your patterns. That have actually created a lack for you and your patterns come from your subconscious identity. You want something more? You've got to be more so you can do more so you can have more and guess what? That all comes down to your patterns. I spoke a little bit about that. Talked about it before is, and this does obviously affect patterns. Is you don't get what you want in life. We don't. I don't, you don't anyone for the most part, initially speaking. We get our habits and your habits are created through earlier life, brain conditioning.
I mean, we've all become conditioned to a very large degree, and this is brain-based research proves it. We have been conditioned to a large degree. To become who we are. And if you want new things, then you need to get in the habit of reconditioning yourself, meaning new patterns. So, a takeaway here can also be, is, start being a hundred percent responsible for your patterns. And that means being a hundred percent responsible for the circumstances of your life, because it's your patterns that created the circumstances. I also want to point out is. Use your patterns use where you are right now. As simply a data point. It's nothing more, nothing less than information. Do not judge yourself. Do not condemn yourself. Do not identify yourself in any kind of. With any kind of negative characteristic because you have X, Y, Z pattern.
That is unless you're out shooting people and you've got a pattern of shooting people. Well, that might be something you want to look at, but otherwise, Don't personalize your patterns of lying on the couch or overeating and different things. These are simply patterns and all that you want. And this episode is an observation of patterns. Why? Observation is awareness, and you cannot change those things of which you have no awareness about. So, we go to the transformational takeaway. And reminds me of the James Allen quote. Which is in the book as a man thinketh. I Actually committed this to memory many years ago. Because I love this. This passage. The passage is this. If I get it right. I mean, I remember this 20 years ago, so hopefully I have it accurate, but anyway, this is the way that I remembered it and it helped me. Mind is the master power that molds and makes. Man is mind and evermore, he takes. He thinks in secret and it comes to pass that his environment is just his looking glass. James Allen.
So, your environment. Is a reflection of your behavior. And your behavior is reflection from your patterns. And your patterns are a reflection of your subconscious identity. And again, that's why this podcast is called transform your life from the inside out. Okay, so that wraps up this episode and the next episode is titled. Where am I going? And we'll dig into that, obviously on the next episode. Okay, thanks for listening. And I'll catch you all on another episode, bye-bye.
Okay. So I don't know if this was your first episode or your 200. Regardless, I'm inviting you to join me and join the conversation inside my private podcast Facebook community. And the community, we dive deeper on the topics that I cover here on the podcast. And it's a place for you to share your realizations. And really it's a place for you to connect with other people, just like you, who are transforming their lives from the inside out. Plus, you're going to be the first to know about exclusive Q and A sessions that I do with me and other special perks that be bringing to you. Other listeners of the podcast. To be part of the community, head over to jimfortin.com/jointheconversation. Again, jimfortin.com/jointheconversation.
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