The Jim Fortin Podcast

EPISODE 289: “[INTERVIEW] The Power of Self-Love – Reinventing Your Life”

September 27, 2023

Have you ever felt the sting of relationships unraveling? I know that pain is all too familiar for so many. My heartfelt talk with a former student gets real about overcoming struggles in marriage and life. With support from people who understand, you can transform and write a new story, as she did. Her experience emphasizes the power of self-love and surrendering control illusions. 

In this powerful and revealing conversation, I speak with former student Felicia Fishback about overcoming major struggles in her relationships, and marriage, as well as finding her true self and purpose. She shares vulnerably about the bombshell moment when her husband said he was no longer attracted to her, the abandonment wounds from her childhood, and her journey to rebuild her confidence and self-love.

Felicia was introduced to Jim's podcast by fellow student Justina, who said it would be transformational. She had no money at the time, but saw the immense value and joined the 12-pay program. She knew it would change her financial situation.

She had tried many personal development methods before, but they never changed her underlying context – her unconscious core identity.

After 4 years of marriage, Felicia's husband suddenly said he was no longer attracted to her. This crushed her self-esteem. Abandonment wounds from childhood were triggered. She tried to salvage the marriage but it was over.

The experience forced her to truly surrender control and work through deep pain.

Leaning on her TCP community, Felicia worked on rebuilding her self-love and confidence.

She discovered a new enjoyment of alone time and her independence; becoming a hypnotherapist and coach aligned her with her purpose of guiding others through transformation. She credits the TCP work for saving her life and changing her family.

Transformational Takeaway

Though life may knock us down, we each hold the power to rise up, learn, and grow. With self-love as our foundation and community as our strength, we can turn hardship into wisdom and write new chapters filled with confidence and purpose. The darkness of betrayal cannot overcome the light within us all.

Full Episode Transcript


You're listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This is another interview with one of my students from the Transformational Coaching Program. Her name is Felicia. And if you've been through any kind of breakup, a divorce, or you've had some things in your life happen that have literally just kind of shattered you, you're going to I love this interview in our time together, which by the way, is a very vulnerable episode. And I'm grateful that she shared all of this with us. She talks about her transformation that's happened in the last couple of years. And she shares with you how, after being together four years out of the blue, one day her husband just said that he wasn't attracted to her anymore. After he told her this, you're going to hear that she tried to repair it, tried to work it out and move things forward and it just didn't work.

You're going to hear her talk about her past wounds and how her husband telling her that absolutely devastated her self-esteem. We also talk about what you probably have heard me talk about before. We talked about the power of self-love. When you love yourself, which means when you accept yourself, you can get through anything in life for the most part. And then she talks about where she is today. We talked about how, when she and I met, she was literally on food stamps and the Transformational Coaching Program. It's not insanely air quote expensive. It's not cheap. The reason why is I want people to do the work and I want them to have skin in the game.

But she was on food stamps for crying out loud. And she registered and, in our time, together, she completely, as you'll hear, she reinvented her life. Now, her life flipped upside down after we worked together, but she had the tools to put her life back together, which she did this day and age, she's doing work in hypnotherapy and making six figures per year. You know, you've heard me say it before. What someone else can do, you can do. And if you've had something devastating like that happen in your life, maybe divorce, maybe air quote, you're dumped, maybe you're losing everything. You can turn your life back around with the right tools. In a nutshell, we talk about her split from a husband. We talk about healing ourselves. We talked about regaining self-love. And finally, we talk about thriving and then going out in the world and making a difference. Enjoy.

Hi, I am Jim Fortin, and you're about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out. With this podcast, I'm widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation, and I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here you're going to find no rah motivation and no hype, because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology and Ancient Wisdom all rolled into one, to take your life to levels you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I’m glad you're here.

Before we get started with this episode, remember the Be Do Have series is fast approaching. I'll tell you more about it in just a couple of minutes but know that a huge opportunity is coming your way, and this opportunity has taken over 250, 000 people beyond the podcast. I'll tell you more in a moment. For now, let's start this episode.

Jim Fortin: Okay, so today we're talking with a former T C P student, Felicia Marie. And she might have a pretty interesting story that I think a lot of you people are gonna resonate with, depending upon what she shares in her story. But I think she has a lot that will resonate with you guys and a lot that'll help you, you know, continue on your journey of transformation. So, Felicia, good to see you and welcome.

Felicia Fishback: Aw, thank you, Jim. I'm so grateful to be here. Thank you. I really appreciate you. I appreciate your time. I appreciate your energy and your space, and I'm super grateful to be here.

Jim Fortin: Thank you. And I'm glad you're here. And let me ask you, let's start at the beginning when and how did we meet?

Felicia Fishback: So, it was all because of Justina.

Jim Fortin: Okay.

Felicia Fishback: So, Justina and I were partnered in the same company and that's how.

Jim Fortin: Another TCPer or by the way, another student who's went on to do amazing things.

Felicia Fishback: Yes, I love her. She's my soul sister. I love her. So, she wrote to me, and she said, “I, I posted something about mindset. And she wrote to me, and she was like, mindset is bullshit. And I was losing my mind. I was like, Justina, don't mess with me because this is my jam. Like this is what I do. Right. She's like, no, you have to listen to this. And she sent me her podcast and Jim, I started, and I didn't stop. Like I went from one, I started at one and I went from one after another after another. And then I think it was like two weeks later, she reached out and she was like, Felicia, his programs open. You have to join. This is something that you need in your business. I know it's gonna help you heal. I know it's gonna be transformational for you. You have to join. And that's where it started.

Jim Fortin: Now she had already been a student, right?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. And two rounds already.

Jim Fortin: Yeah. We need to invite her on the podcast because when I met her, she was literally on food stamps. She had no money. She was that broke on food stamps. So yeah,

Felicia Fishback: I was too, Jim. My, I was on food stamps too.

Jim Fortin: So many people want to be in T C P, but they get into I can't afford it. We're just kind of, we're there already. Let's just hope in there. What, I don't wanna promote T C P gratuitously, but it's not T C P, its transformation, self-realization and growth. What would you do if somebody told you, I really, really, really want to grow, but I can't afford it?

Felicia Fishback: Oh, I would ask them some really challenging questions. I would say, where are you gonna be three to six months from now if you don't invest in yourself? Is your situation gonna get worse or is it going to get better? So, I would future pace and just help them understand where they're going on their path. Like where are you leading right now? And is this where you really wanna be? Mm-hmm. And that is actually what I do ask my clients when I'm offering for them to work with me. I'm like, where are you gonna be six months from now? And also, let's say you do take the step and join T C P, imagine where you'll be six months from that as well, because it'll be the total opposite in the right direction.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: Right? And, and so also, if someone that's on food stamps and is struggling financially can make it happen, why can't you?

Jim Fortin: That's a good question. I can't tell you the amount of people, and you know this, I never tell people ever when they register, because I don't like this about my industry. People saying, you know, speakers, trainers, programs, blah, blah. Saying things like, oh, just put it on your credit card. And my thought's always been, if they have the identity that creates the financial mess anyway, they've gotta do the work with me. I can change their life, but they've got to do the work. And if they don't do the work or they won't do the work, I don't wanna put 'em in a worse off situation.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: So, we've had many people in the program that have said, I had to borrow money to do this. I borrowed money, I got another credit card, I got a second job, whatever it was. You were on food stamps; how did you make it happen?

Felicia Fishback: So, as soon as I saw all of your content. I mean, I already sold the first podcast. I was like, I know this person. Like I deeply understand this person. Like he's speaking to me like you were in my head, right?

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: And so, when Justina brought it up to me, I was like, how much is it? She told me, I was like, I don't have that right now, but I'm gonna make this work. And I know that not everybody's in that head space as I have been most of my life, right. But that was my head space at the time was like, I don't even care. I would sell anything to get out of the pain and suffering that I was in financially. So, I did the 12 pays. As soon as I saw that you had a 12-pay option, I was like, Oh, this is simple. I'm just gonna sacrifice or let go of these other things. Not sacrifice but let go of these other things.

Jim Fortin: Starbucks or whatever. Right.

Felicia Fishback: Exactly. Just like cut back, because you know what's so funny, Jim is so many women that I know in my circle are like, yeah, I can't afford that. And I'm like, let's add up how much money you've spent on makeup in the last month that is like two sessions with a therapist or a hypnotherapist or a coach. I was like, so it's about your values and your priorities, and my values and priorities at the time was I am so sick of these generational cycles and I'm sick of repeating patterns and I'm sick of being so amazing or seeing my potential and not reaching it, that I was willing to let go of anything that I needed to let go of because my values were aligned with myself. I was like, I need this for me. And also, I had four kids. Well, at the time there were seven kids in my home, so we had seven kids combined. And I'm like, I also have all these kids that I'm providing for too. So that also was a part of my values was like, I'm gonna do this for me, for my business, because I'm sick of the shit. I'm sick of cycles. I'm sick of going around in circles, failing in business or doing well, and then coming back and doing well and coming back. And I knew that opportunity with T C P would change my financial situation. I had that confidence that internal, like, this is what I want. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take the action, I'm gonna let go of all this shit and then I'm gonna do really well moving forward. That was my mindset at the time, or that was the way that I perceived it.

Jim Fortin: Okay, good. No, and what I noticed here is that you came into T C P, even though we do a week on values, and we talk about it the whole 13, weeks, you came in already with the value in you. I will do whatever it takes to make something happen because we're, I want to go next. I was gonna ask you, but I think you've already answered, what were you looking for? Everyone that enrolls in T C P is looking to solve a problem. So, the problem I hear you saying you wanted to solve was not living to what you knew you could do. Living up to that being that you weren't making the money you wanted to make, attracting it, right?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: You were tired of the generational cycles and you're like, these things I've gotta go, I gotta solve these things in my life So that there was your motivation, but those were the problems that you were looking to solve.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: Is that fair to say?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Yeah. Financial.

Jim Fortin: What have you tried before working with me? I mean, another program. What have you done prior that wasn't working? That brought you to me.

Felicia Fishback: This is a big part of T C P too, so I love this question.

Jim Fortin: Okay. Say whatever you wanna say here.

Felicia Fishback: So, what did I not try as a question? Like I tried. So, I tried reiki, I tried, I did therapy a ton as a teenager because I had a ton of trauma growing up. I tried programs, I listened. So, the first like two years of my awakening and path, like personal development, I was in a network marketing company. I was in the leadership position, and so I got to go out twice a year to California and learn from people that they paid a lot of money to train us. So I had a ton of training on mindset and personal development. I listened to probably two books a month, listened to podcasts. I mean, that's all I did, Jim,

Jim Fortin: Hang on, is this a fair statement? A lot of that stuff, even though we have the identity of a person who listens to all that stuff, a lot of that stuff is crap.

Felicia Fishback: Yes, it's that rah rah motivation that you're talking about, but it's also like, this was a huge shift for me in T C P. It was the content versus the context.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: So, I was a, I was addicted to the content, like content, content, Instagram learn, book read, not even realizing that it's not even actually getting past the identity that I was carrying. I could never overwork with content what was inside of my true nature because of my up context.

Jim Fortin: Listen, hang on to the people listening, I do context coaching. Context is your subconscious frame of the way that you think before Felicia keeps on going here. Let's go back to when she said, which she heard from Justina, which I told my students. Mindset is bullshit. The reason why mindset is content, content does not change the context, which means who you are at a subconscious level, right?

Felicia Fishback: Yes. Right.

Jim Fortin: Okay.

Felicia Fishback: Exactly. So, I got burnt out. Like it's so simple. I got burnt out and overwhelmed with I need to listen; I need to do this. I, you know, it's just like, do do, do, do, do. That's what I did. I spent a lot of time doing things. And after T C P realizing that I was a human doing for years, trying to outperform things I didn't know. I had no idea what the subconscious mind was prior to you, Jim, I was oblivious to any of brain science, neuroscience, any of that stuff. I was super spiritual, and I was like, broke as hell.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: Because I was super spiritual.

Jim Fortin: Yeah. Been there, done that many years ago. I, I get it.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Yeah. So, and

Jim Fortin: So, let's go here. So, where you were when we met, basically dead ass broke.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: But you had the desire to read all the books, right? Honestly, I am not exaggerating. I've read over 2000 books in my life. you ever seen the movie Cocktail with Tom? I'm not a big fan of his, I don't care. It's just, I'm not, but the movie cocktail back from the eighties when he is a bartender in, uh, somewhere like the, the Virgin Island or somewhere, Bahamas or whatever.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: And one of his friends was making fun of him because, his friend said, I bet you he has a self-help manual under the counter. He's always learning. I remember walking into my apartment one day in my twenties and my room, I, this is back, I mean, my age back, we had bookstores. And I, I literally bought 10 books and I walked in the door and my roommate saw me and he goes, good God, isn't your brain full by now? Because I just read all the time.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: You know what? I was broke all the time. No matter how much I tried, nothing changed until I became, until I started studying hypnosis and became a hypnotist, and then I started teaching it is when everything changed. Now speaking of change, where are you today in your life?

Felicia Fishback: Oh, man. So I got certified it will be two years next month as a hypnotist. And went full-time into that. Prior to that, I was coaching and I realized that I was doing a lot of reprogramming already before I was a hypnotist.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: So in my coaching, I was retraining people's brains essentially. And I feel like a modern day flow scope. Like I've always kind of had that mindset. I would say even when I was a teenager, people would come to me and they would tell me things and I would say I would get them to be more optimistic and say it more positively. And I would just always do that as a teenager, even if I was struggling. That was my natural way of living. So, now I'm full-time as a hypnotist, and in my first year of being a hypnotist, I hit six figures. It was honestly, the easiest thing I've done in business, I've struggled and struggled and struggled as a coach prior to charge what I felt like I was worth or at the value that I had with myself. I was attracting clients that weren't paying, and as soon as I aligned with hypnotherapy and hypnosis, it just really opened and expanded for me. So now, as a hypnotist, I just, I work one-on-one with people. I typically do like eight to 10 k a month in that range somewhere. And, I was, you know, just, I think it was like four years ago was on food stamps, but within the last two years, I started getting up into the 8 and 10 k a month range as a hypnotherapist. So I do that full-time. And run my own business that way. And I am now getting into working with athletes and I have been working more with entrepreneurs because I'm really passionate about fitness and health and wellness.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: And so I've been able to really combine everything into one practice for myself.

Jim Fortin: Let me ask you a question about that. So do you think you would be where you are today if you only listened to my podcast and never went in the T C P?

Felicia Fishback: Oh, absolutely not. So they're absolutely not

Jim Fortin: Apples and oranges, right?

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: They're apples and oranges.

Felicia Fishback: Oh, they're so different.

Jim Fortin: It drives me bananas when people say, oh, I don't need to go to T C P, I listen to the podcast.

Felicia Fishback: No, no. I'm like, why are they bypassing the most transformational experience of their life, honestly.

Jim Fortin: And I get that. So let's go here if you want. Your life's changed dramatically in other ways as well. We met, and if you don't want to talk about any of that, or you can censor whatever, when we met you were married. Now you're not married. So what I would like people to get, and especially women, whatever about that experience you wanna share and how you got through it.

Felicia Fishback: Yes, I will gladly share this experience, especially because I feel like a lot of people need to know. and just to give you some props, Jim, I, if I hadn't done T C P twice, cause the first round was amazing, but it just kind of opened me up a lot.

Jim Fortin: That's what the first round for people always opens their eyes.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: And when people come back, they're like, oh my God, I miss so much the first round.

Felicia Fishback: I did okay. I was one of those people where I was like, man, I thought I knew it all in the first round. I was like, oh, I know this stuff. I'm so good at that. And I heard you talking about that and a recent podcast episode as well, but, so I was one of those people where I was like, yeah, I've got it all figured out. The second round hit me hard with relationships because you had a woman on a call where she was somewhat smothering her man, right? Like she was in fear of him abandoning her. I'm sure you remember that. And I had this really deep abandonment wound because I was abandoned by both of my parents. My dad started a new family and my mom didn't want me to live with her and focused on her guy. So I lived in state's custody for four years of my teenage life and bounced around from group home to the wilderness program. And I ended up into a foster home for a year and I did multiple programs. And so from the age of 14 almost to 18, I was in state's custody and not with my family. So I had some deep abandonment wounds, and that relationship really triggered those abandonment wounds. I always, in the back of my mind, unconsciously, had this fear that he was gonna leave me and get back with his ex-wife because there was so much conflict and I wasn't even aware of it until after everything had ended. So, I just wanna share with everyone my side of this, and how this ended, but give you props for the relationship weeks in your T C P program because they are life changing. They're foundational they're the most important part of your program, in my opinion.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: Now I, I don't know. I can't pick one, but it's such a high,

Jim Fortin: Everyone goes to where they need to go. I mean, they do the whole program.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: They gravitate to monies, everything, or relationships.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: Or whatever people gravitate to what their biggest pain in their life is at the time they were in the program. So, understood.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. So relationships in that time was everything for me, and I learned so much about it moving forward. After that, we had together started to really stack up and reach some of these goals that we had been working towards for a long time. At the same time, it just never seemed to be enough to provide for our family. And we had seven kids and two dogs. And it was like, we want more in life. We wanna grow, like we want to become the best versions of ourselves. And on his end, there were so many financial blocks, and on my end, I was an open manifester. Like I was just like, I manifest everything. I manifested our home. I made stuff happen. I allowed things to happen. I was really great and really strong in that. And I never gave up. And even if we struggled financially, I had a great perspective and mindset about it and would continue to move forward for him. He had these wounds with his mom where she was very religious and would give it all to God, right? We talk about this a lot. Like, God's got my back like he's gonna provide for me. And that gave him this feeling, this sense of insecurity when it came to finances. Because they would go without. So if he wasn't working.

Jim Fortin: As a kid, he would go without,

Felicia Fishback: Yes. He would go without as a kid. So if he wasn't working to provide with the stability of an income, Such a huge trigger for him and for me, I was the opposite. I was like, I can be an entrepreneur, I can go with the ups and downs. I've lost it all multiple times and I'm not attached to anything. I had zero attachment to anything like that. And so we would always go head to head with the financial aspect of where we were going in life. He wanted to build really slow and I wanted to build really fast. And so the last year, maybe last six months of us being together, really started to hit us, financially. But the funny thing is, Jim, is I started increasing my finances and he went back to work. And so I would say the lesson of it all and the ending of the relationship, it hit me like, we raised seven kids together. He helped raise my kids. His kids were really young when I came in. I was their mom in their eyes. And I still spend time with them. I still see them to this day. And his youngest loves me. She adores me. She wrote me the most beautiful card and said how much she loves me and appreciates me and how I'm there for her when she needs me. And she's almost seven, or no, she's seven now. And so that's like the bond that we had, right? Like we raised our kids together. We were one big family for four years.

Jim Fortin: Do, can you share here the bombshell?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Yeah.

Jim Fortin: You're not alone. You're not alone, whether you be male or female. A lot of people here have had a bombshell or the relationship come apart. So if you can share the bombshell and then we'll just go from there.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. So the bombshell happened. I had struggled with my weight for the last year of our relationship and for the life of me, Jim and I really felt like I got it because of everything I've learned from you. I did everything. Could not let this weight go. Right? And so a week or two prior to us ending, we had our four year anniversary, and I was feeling really off. I reached out to a close friend. She told me, Hey, connect with DX. See what you can receive from him. I'm like, can you please show me what I need to see that I'm not seeing? And even to my subconscious mind, before I went to bed, right? I was like, please show me. Like I need to see what is going on here? Why am I not letting go of fat? Like, what is happening?

Jim Fortin: By the way, when you, when she says DX, everyone listening, she means Don Xavier, my brother-in-law that I talk about on the show. Okay. The shaman. Okay. So not let you go. And when she said Toss to dream time, something I teach people in T C P is how to start using dream time. Okay, so you're tossing at to dream time, you ask him for energetic help.

Felicia Fishback: Yes. So within that week I had intuitive feelings to look into his Instagram.

Jim Fortin: Your husband?

Felicia Fishback: Yes. Yes.

Jim Fortin: Let's be clarified. Not DXs.

Felicia Fishback: Not DX has no social media.

Jim Fortin: DX has no social media. But you mean Instagram? Yes. Your husband's Instagram. Okay.

Felicia Fishback: Yes. So his Instagram and I saw things in there that didn't make me feel good about myself. Like it was nothing but women working out super fit women. Super beautiful women. I went to the search bar, that was cleared out a huge trigger for me. I was like, what's going on? This isn't normally what's there. And so on my end, where I went wrong in this scenario is I wasn't very clear with him. I wasn't like, Hey, I'm concerned about this. Let me see your Instagram. I was more like, go ahead Jim.

Jim Fortin: By the way, everyone listening, she didn't violate his privacy right away and just say, and then look into his Instagram without his permission. She asked him, can I see your Instagram? Yeah. , as you conveyed to me, he gave you excuses for not showing you the Instagram.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: So, and then the next day, I think he showed you the Instagram and you're looking at it, but you didn't see then what you saw a little prior.

Felicia Fishback: Yes. So I was like, something had changed in the algorithm. And I was like, let me see your phone. I wanna look at this. And what triggered me was he wouldn't let me see his phone and he walked away. So then I was like, oh, I need to look at that Instagram. Like there's something he doesn't want me to see.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: And so probably a couple hours later we're in the bedroom and I was like, can I see your phone? Like I just, I wanted to see this. I was like, I asked you to see this. You walked away. You ignored me, so can I see it? So he handed me his phone and I look and I could see what he was looking at. Right. And it's just like nothing. Like I looked, I, and I was struggling. Like I had been super fit and into health and wellness for a long time, Jim. And I was dedicated. I was doing cold plunging. I was do, I was 75 hard, like all the things. And so, it was the biggest confidence hit. I have self-esteem hit I have ever experienced in my life where I was like, oh my gosh, I don't look anything like these women. My butt doesn't look like them. I don't have big boobs. I have all this fat around my midsection. I was devastated. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't even compete. I can't compete with any of these women. If that's what you're looking for. It's not here right now. I was like, I'm working towards that in the future. But you know what it did is it started this cycle of putting myself down and thinking I had no value to offer because I didn't look like these other women. And I'm a more natural woman, Jim. Like, I don't like a ton of makeup and I like to get dirty and go camping I don't have any plastic surgery done. And so this really messed with my mind and made,

Jim Fortin: By the way, guys, if you're just listening, she is a very pretty woman. Okay,

Felicia Fishback: Thank you.

Jim Fortin: So, you might be getting people reaching out, going, how do I reach her? cause when it comes to looks, you don't have any problems.

Felicia Fishback: Thank you, Jim. I received that.

Jim Fortin: But you took the hit. I mean,

Felicia Fishback: Oh, it hit me.

Jim Fortin: Is it blow to your self-esteem? Okay.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Yep. And so he told me, he's like, I discovered over the weekend that I'm not attracted to you anymore.

Jim Fortin: That I was, wait. No. Slow on That had to have been a hit.

Felicia Fishback: That was the worst thing I think I've ever heard in my life. If I'm being completely honest.

Jim Fortin: When your partner and lover says to you, I'm not attracted to you anymore. Yeah, that's gotta be like a major torpedo hit right to the side of this ship.

Felicia Fishback: It hit me so hard in my heart. And you know what it did to me? I started to obsess over. Well then what are you attracted to? And my mind went to, who are you talking to? What does she look like? Where's this comparison going? How did that shift with you? We've been together for four years. I've been heavier for over a year, maybe two years now. I'm like, not a lot has changed other than we moved into a bigger, nicer house and I started bringing in more money, which caused, which is more stress, right? Like it brings more stress to the table. Yeah. He went back to work, but I'm like, physically I look the same. I'm the same woman, especially on the inside. So I was like, you know, my mind was like, oh, I'm not good enough for you. I don't look the way you need me to look. And he was like, it's not about the looks. And I'm like, then what is it about? Because I don't understand. Like I could not comprehend what he was saying to me. I had a total mental breakdown. In the bedroom. And he was hurt too. It wasn't like he was rude or passive aggressive. He was sad. He was crying. I mean, it was a huge shock for him as well. And he had said, I don't love you the way you love me.

Jim Fortin: Hang on before you go on. I know you're husband. He's been a T C P. He is a beautiful heart. So I can see why you loved him. He's a handsome man, a beautiful heart, and a good person, but he has a lot of past wounds that he's still living out of that he's never tackled yet. So, okay. You're in the bedroom, you're both crying, you both recognize

Felicia Fishback: Yeah, we essentially recognized, hey, this isn't working anymore the next day. I couldn't handle it, Jim. I’m just honest with everyone. When we go through T c P, we have an identity crisis, essentially. Like, yeah, like disintegration anxiety to the max.

Jim Fortin: Yep.

Felicia Fishback: On such a high level, I had to learn how to pattern interrupt really well. And this was the same thing. And just, I wanna slide this in really fast. cause you've talked about,

Jim Fortin: By the way, I teach people that I, people get mad at me and everything else. I'm like, just trust me. I'm gonna tear your world apart. Just trust me. We'll put it back together. Yeah. So, okay. You're using the tool; your life is coming unglued at the seams. All right.

Felicia Fishback: Everything was falling apart. I was losing my mind and the next day I was like; I can't do this. Like, how can we make this work? How can we figure this out? And then he opened up more to me and he was like, this is what I'm struggling with. I, I'm, he didn't feel safe enough to communicate with me. He didn't want confrontation and it was really hard for him to be vulnerable. He really struggled with that piece. And whether it was me not holding the space for him or him not feeling like he could be vulnerable because of his programming. Right.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: Because there's that mirror and I'm very aware of the mirror and I'm open to it. So, I'm like, okay, I'm not holding the space for you. I'm not available for you to be vulnerable. I can, I can take that on, I can work with that. Right. I can grow, I can change that. I was like, but the attraction thing, I can't change that because it's like in his eyes, something internal within me that's not drawing him in anymore. It's not there for him.

Jim Fortin: Well, you had, so there was nothing, you had mentioned a couple before we talked that you were in bed one night. And he paid no attention to you.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah, I was naked in bed, Jim. I was laying naked next to him and he was on his phone and that's what hit him. That is actually what shifted him is he realized that he was not giving me any intimacy or affection in that moment, and he was on his phone. My mind, my perception was, well, of course you're gonna be looking at your phone when you have all these hot women that you can see. Why would you be paying attention to what's next to you if your mind's over here with all these other women? That was my perception.

Jim Fortin: Do you know how many men would come running from upstairs? As fast as they can. If they knew their wife was in bed naked or their girlfriend, I mean, they're gonna break their neck just running upstairs because like

Felicia Fishback: I know,

Jim Fortin: Boy,

Felicia Fishback: I know.

Jim Fortin: Is it that time of month already?

Felicia Fishback: I know. Usually men are like, I can't believe it's that time of the month. Like they're gonna die because they have to go for four days. So, it was the opposite. It wasn't there. It's like it had just disappeared or it just hadn't been there for a long time, and the awareness wasn't there yet.

Jim Fortin: I'm guessing that it'd been there for a while. And then what happened is he didn't know how to communicate it. He didn't want confrontation. He didn't know what was going on. He had a lot of confusion. Therefore, it wasn't communicated because he wasn't being vulnerable. He didn't know how to communicate it. And it came to the point where , I call it threshold, the straw that breaks the camel's back. Something happened one day so you look at the train hitting the wall. But yet that train in his mind had been hitting for probably six months, year, whatever, and he finally got the courage to speak up.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: Before we go on, I think he did a good thing. And the reason why is because he freed himself from you and you from him. So you can go find somebody who sees how beautiful you are inside and out and can bring something to the relationship, not take it away.

Felicia Fishback: Yes. Yeah. And at the time I didn't see it that way, that's for sure.

Jim Fortin: Understandably, at the time you're like, what the fuck do you mean you're not attracted to me anymore, but what, you know, that would send a lot of people over the edge.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Yes.

Jim Fortin: So how did you hear?

Felicia Fishback: Oh, Jim, you're gonna love this. So, knowing myself, I will forever be a student the rest of my life until I die. I'm a lifelong student. I know that about myself cause I know myself. So, as soon as that ended and just so everyone knows, it took us months to separate and leave each other because even after we had ended, it was still really hard for both of us to really like take that action. And it took us a couple months because we had so many kids combined.

Jim Fortin: Took you a month because this has happened before.

Let me segue from the interview for just one moment. When we started this episode, I told you that I would tell you more about the BE DO HAVE series of the millions of downloads this podcast has gotten. There's one thing that I hear all the time from people who come from the podcast into personal coaching with me, which is what I call the Transformational Coaching Program. And that one thing is this. They will say, Jim, you know, the podcast has helped me change so many things in my life, but there is no way that I would have my current level of thinking, current level of life, and what I've created and the transformation if I was not in coaching with you. Maybe you even heard people say that in the past several interviews here at the podcast. Why does this happen? Because, see, you're listening to the podcast through your filters and your blind spots, and these filters and blind spots keep you from executing on a lot of the things that you're learning here, no matter how much you love it. And this applies to all of us, because you probably have heard the phrase before, we don't know What we don't know, and that is our blind spots. How to fix this? That's easy. Let me teach you more about the concept of content versus context. And I'll teach you more about that in the up and coming Be Do Have series. Content is what you think. Context is how you think, subconsciously. This is why you think you want more in life. This is why you listen to the podcast because you want to create more, but yet often you find yourself not doing the things you need to do to create it. That is your context working against you. The Be Do Have series is a training series. where I'll be talking about your subconscious mind and your brain based habit and your ways of being. But, I also talk about your content versus context and I teach you about it. And when you know about it, you know that everything you're learning in your life, you process through your filters. So, to go to the next level, to go beyond the podcast, go to be, do, have. Okay, let's go back to the interview.

Jim Fortin: Did you guys have any sex in that month?

Felicia Fishback: Yes. And it was better than it was before, which was so frustrating for me. cause I was like, what? Now it's better. And now you're out. Now you're leaving.

Jim Fortin: I'm doing everything you want, but now you're gone. Hello?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Yeah.

Jim Fortin: Yeah. That's the tricky thing about human beings is we make no sense, you know?

Felicia Fishback: No, we don't.

Jim Fortin: We don't, I mean, people do things and I'm like, okay. You know, it is what it is. But that's the crazy thing that he wasn't attracted to him. You decide to split. It takes you some time. You have sex, and now you're having better sex, which is the reason he told you he wasn't, you know, into the relationship because it wasn't there. But yet he is having sex with you.

Felicia Fishback: Yep.

Jim Fortin: Now, what I know about men being a man, some men can have sex with anybody. A lot of men, especially married men, need, the connection, the emotional connection they need the physical and the emotional. But if he's having sex with you, there's something there still, or there was something there, but he didn't have enough self-awareness to know what that was versus what was coming at him subconsciously.

Felicia Fishback: Absolutely. And I saw that and just so you know, Jim, so he, he had told me multiple times that I was so much like you, he's like, you are so much like Jim, like you're so aware and conscious and I would do sessions on him when he asked me to. I would never do it unless he asked me to shift his paradigms around money and stuff. And whenever I would coach him, he would be like, wow, you're so good. And when he started training with you, he came and told me after you had picked him, he came and told me. He's like, you're the one that should be in here. He is like, the way that you operate and your understanding and how you see people is incredible and way better than how I do it. And so I'd always catch this confidence block with him of like, because I saw him there and I pushed him. I'm like, do this. Go and apply. Like, this is where you belong. You're an amazing coach. Like always pouring into him. At the same time, I always sense this internal, like conflict with timing, stability, working a being, a working man, and this internal confidence because in that moment I feel like he was comparing me and him and he was like, you should be in here. And I'm like, no, you should be in there. If I was meant to be in there on my path, I would be in there. It's not for me.

Jim Fortin: Right,

Felicia Fishback: Right.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: That's not my path, that's not my alignment. I had that understanding and so there were always that, those little blocks that I, you know, I really tried to shift and pour and I, at some point I was like, it's just not for me. It's not for me to help with, it's not for me to support in, it's for him to discover on his own and on his own path.

Jim Fortin: What a lot of people do, a lot of women is they try to go into, let me fix him.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: You weren't there, correct?

Felicia Fishback: No. I thought he was incredible. I saw who he was. And he would, I would only do that stuff with him if he asked me to.

Jim Fortin: I saw who he's, and I mean in the way that I knew him. And I think he's a wonderful person. Yeah. Did he do wonderful things? Maybe he could have done it differently. No question. But he is a wonderful person just wounded. Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. So,

Jim Fortin: So you guys took you several months to split. Where are you today with your life?

Felicia Fishback: I, for the first time, Jim, I have to say, I have been really loving not being in a relationship. And this is the first time ever in my life because of the wounds that I've worked on, where I'm not seeking a man, I'm not looking for one. And I am okay being in my own space. Like I actually love alone time more now than I ever have in my life, ever. And I actually prefer solitude now more than I did before, where. If I have an opportunity to go do something with a bunch of people and then I have an opportunity to like go to the river and be in nature by myself, I'll choose the opposite. I'll go be with myself. To where before I couldn't really be with myself. I always felt like I had this urge to help people, coach people. I didn't know how to separate my work and really just focus on me.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: Because I was so, yeah, just being, just relaxing, being in silence, like getting into nature. And now I'm like, I, oh, and the abandonment wound. So that was the wound that, I mean, he abandoned me and my family. That is how I felt. I felt you left what we created. You left us. I didn't end this, you ended this. And I, you know, have to go with whatever you decide because it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to get, I wanted to create everything we wanted to create and raise our kids together forever. That was my vision.

Jim Fortin: Was your vision that we'd be together for the rest of our lives?

Felicia Fishback: Oh yeah, absolutely. I am, like, when I commit to someone, I am super committed, super loyal, and I like the long term. Like, if something happens, we can work through this and we can continue on our path. Nothing takes me out of that, that is like my mentality. Like if we come up against something, we're gonna, we're gonna go at it together, we're gonna figure it out together. And it's, that against us was like inside of my mind, it's always gonna be us. I never saw anything outside of us. That's why it was such a shock for me.

Jim Fortin: And by the way, people listening, we didn't cover here, we gotta keep moving, but you did try. What can we do to fix this? What can I do? What needs to happen?

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: And that just didn't happen in the relationship.

Felicia Fishback: It did not so now do you say, am I happy?

Jim Fortin: Are you happy today?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. Do I look happy too?

Jim Fortin: You look happy today.

Felicia Fishback: You see people, so

Jim Fortin: You look very, very happy today. You looked happy when I knew you before, but you're different today. You look like what I call identity ego happy. I mean, you're just, things are clicking for you, things are going well. Your money, everything is happening for you.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: And you're really happy. Let me ask you a question about T C P, but not about what My part of it. The community.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: What's your thoughts?

Felicia Fishback: Oh, biggest smile. As soon as you said the community, I'm a healer and I feel like healers are so community oriented. We're like those social butterflies and we love the community hands down. There's no other community I've been in on the planet where I felt. Like I could be myself for the first time.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: And not just myself, but I felt seen and heard and loved in the community. And to top that off, it was like a family. It wasn't even like a community. It was like your soul aligned family. Like I met people, and I was like, I swear I know you from somewhere.

Jim Fortin: Yeah.

Felicia Fishback: I said that all the time. In the community of T C P, it's like being home with your family. If I could describe it like that is my family. That's my closest family.

Jim Fortin: Family you love though, not family you don't like?

Felicia Fishback: Yes. Family that I haven't gotten out of my circle. Family that I wanna spend time with and actually everybody said that in the community. I can remember multiple times where people had vocalized. I love this community. It's like a family. I felt like I could just be me and be authentic in there.

Jim Fortin: Well, that gives people permission to explore themself, their gifts, what things mean to them in life. And they know that in the community, the whole community, me, the coaches and everyone there, we're gonna support that person on their mission, on their journey, in their life, their life. No judgements.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: You know, you are who you are and that's very special. And I didn't even recognize when I created the community, that's what I was creating. But that's what we have is a community that truly lets you be who and what you are, no matter what. We had somebody, somebody reached out to me yesterday and former T C Per I did not know. They were transgender and I didn't know when they were in T C P. And she said to me, thank you so much for saying whatever I said about transgender in a very positive way. That they're on their journey.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: Whatever they're going through, they are on their journey. Wish them well, support them. Let them go on their journey. I didn't know, I don't care who people are sleeping with or what they are, you know, I just want people to be who they are in the most authentic way because everyone listening now, when you're in a community like that, you discover who you truly are, not who you think you have to be based upon the world around you. And that is freeing. It's freeing for you guys in the program. And it's freeing for me because I get to be there too and be a part of that.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: So let me ask you this. Let's see here. Let's a couple more things here and then we'll talk a little about more about what you do. Is, okay. I asked you that question. Your money's doing well. What are two pieces of wisdom that if somebody said right now, share two things that have become life lessons for me at this point. Two things, places I live from, that I got in T C P. What are those two places?

Felicia Fishback: Ooh, number one, there is no control. Control is the biggest illusion on the planet. Because if I could control things, a lot of these things would not have happened in my life. So that was the proof. Like surrendering, that's a huge part of control and a lot of the times people don't understand where that sense of wanting to control comes from. And what I discovered was my childhood. My childhood created this desire to control every aspect of my experience and the ending of this relationship, and doing two rounds of T C P and listening to your podcast. I just to be clear, like out of all the things I've read and heard and trained on in my entire life, I always, 100% of the time revert back to what I learned in TCP any decision I make moving forward, anything I learned, TCP taught me that.

Jim Fortin: And we're not a cult. Right? We're not a cult. I'm not asking you for money,

Felicia Fishback: Not a cult.

Jim Fortin: I don't want you to believe anything I tell you. Don't believe anything. Just so we're clear.

Felicia Fishback: Yes. That is my frame though, is the work that I did in there. And so letting go of control, surrendering to your path, like the internal compass and guidance, there's so much going on that we can't see. And for women specifically listening to this podcast, surrender control creates friction and it creates this disconnect inside of us. From our sensuality, our intimacy, our hearts, like being heart-centered as women. So letting go of control and learning how to surrender. It's like a superpower.

Jim Fortin: That's amazing. And I mean, obviously I talk about that a lot in T C P is, and I say it in the podcast, the control is an illusion. And when you get into control, you're being controlled by the illusion of control. Yeah. You got it. What's the second one?

Felicia Fishback: Oh, the second one. Wow. Self-love. If you're not able to love yourself or who you are and accept yourself, know yourself. It doesn't matter what you have in front of you and what you have in your bank account, none of that's really gonna matter at the end of the day when you lay down. All of those things are gonna come forward when you lay down and rest. So the ability to, that's what's changed the most with me. And what you see right now in front of you is I look in the mirror now and I'm like, wow, you look incredible, Felicia. Like, you are sexy and you're strong.

Jim Fortin: Very hot. I’m gay saying that. So, I'm saying this,

Felicia Fishback: I'm a like, I am a total milf. I'm a badie. Like whatever name you wanna call me. And I don't, just

Jim Fortin: Middle. Okay. This, okay.

Felicia Fishback: And I'm not just saying it though, I've said it in the past now, like you've taught, I know it. Like I know I'm beautiful inside and out as a person. So any judgment, anything that comes to me. It doesn't pertain to me. Just move it to the side. I have that confidence and it's that self-love. Like I love this person that I am today.

Jim Fortin: You know, we work on that with things that we do, but I think what really helps that a lot is you can love yourself, but if you're in a community that doesn't support you loving yourself, you doubt yourself.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: When you have your environment talking down to you and tearing you down, it's harder to nurture and develop that self-love. But when you're in a community and you start thinking that way and the community accepts you, it's easier to believe that, Hey, I am a lovable person. I am a good person. You know, I've got all this to offer the world. And we start seeing that and that awareness right there is life changing when we get that.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: Okay. Let's talk about you. You talked about it earlier. What do you do and who can you help?

Felicia Fishback: So I am a full-time hypnotherapist and I also consider myself a transformational coach because I work on the mind body and the spirit. I'm also a reiki master, so I have the certifications, right? More life experience to do those things. So I help a lot of women. I work with a lot of women who struggle with letting go, surrendering, and that really shows up as like holding onto fat, not being able to get the intimate with their partners. Yeah, not building a strong connection with their relationships, not being able to be confident. Their bodies with who they are, no matter what they look like and loving themselves. So I work with a lot of women, but I also work with men. And when I work with men, I'm working on them being able to get into their masculine energy and programming their minds and their identity to provide and perform on the level that they wanna perform. Cause a lot of men that I work with have some really bad mental health imbalances.

Jim Fortin: Absolutely.

Felicia Fishback: So that's a big thing that I work with men is like anxiety, depression, stress, resiliency, getting to the levels that they need to while being able to be vulnerable and not bury everything like they've been taught most of their lives.

Jim Fortin: Yeah. I love this because I'm gonna be a little selfish if I didn't do what I did in the world. You wouldn't be doing what you're doing in the way that you're doing it.

Felicia Fishback: Exactly.

Jim Fortin: And so your success is My success. And every T C P you hear me say after every call, the world needs us. The more of us doing this work, the better we can make this entire planet for all of us and our kids.

Felicia Fishback: Yes.

Jim Fortin: Where do we find you?

Felicia Fishback: So I mainly use Instagram and I just changed,

Jim Fortin: So is your ex-husband?

Felicia Fishback: Yeah.

Jim Fortin: Yep.

Felicia Fishback: Which he actually ended up coming to my oldest son's graduation. It was so beautiful. Like I was so grateful to have him there. The kids loved having him there. It was great. Like we communicated really well. He hung out and played. But just to give credit, like he was one of the biggest reasons why my son graduated. And

Jim Fortin: He's a good guy.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah, he's a great guy. Yeah. So that was great. So I'm on Instagram. I just changed my name to Heal with Felicia. So H E A L with Felicia, and it's F E L I C I A . The majority of my clients are word of mouth, honestly. Like, I don't do any marketing or advertising. So I just have people DM me on Instagram and if you wanna work with me or learn more, you can just look at my Instagram. You'll learn a lot. but Just send me a message. It's super simple. I don't like complicated things. I like to keep things simple and, you know, share whatever value I can with anybody that looks at my stuff.

Jim Fortin: Great. That's awesome.

Felicia Fishback: Yeah. I mean, should I give out my phone number? No, I'm just kidding.

Jim Fortin: No, not when it gets as many people are, you're gonna listen to this. Probably not. Anything else you wanna share?

Felicia Fishback: I wanna share my gratitude for you, Jim, because gonna get a little emotional here. I wholeheartedly believe I would not be sitting where I am.

Jim Fortin: Don't make me cry. Okay? Don't just,

Felicia Fishback: I, I would not be sitting where I am and, and just to be super vulnerable. I don't think I would be on the planet if I hadn't done the work that I had done with you. And so I just, I have, you are my heart. I think about you daily. I am so grateful for you. I have so much love for you and what you've done for me in my life, and I want you to know you've made the biggest impact, not just with me, but with my kids, and with everybody that I connect with. And thank you.

Jim Fortin: I have nothing to add except I love you.

Felicia Fishback: I love you too. I'm so grateful.

Jim Fortin: I'm glad you love yourself, and I love you, and I'm grateful that you're here. And thank you for sharing your heart with us and your life. I sure as hell hope some people listening can take your experience and learn from it to make the quality or of their life even better. So sending you a big hug. I love you, and hopefully I'll see you soon, okay?

Felicia Fishback: Okay. I love you too, Jim.

Jim Fortin: Thank you. Thanks, Felicia. Okay. Talk to you later,

Remember, over 250, 000 people have been through the B2Have series in the last 5 years. If it wasn't eye opening and mind blowing, we could never have had that kind of participation. Okay, get registered. Go to jimforton. com/bedohave. jimfortin/bedohave. I'll catch you on another episode, and I'll catch you in the eye opening and life changing BE DO HAVE series.

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Jim Fortin

Jim is an international subconscious self-transformation and high performance expert with over two decades of expertise in brain based transformation and high performance. Using a brain based approach coupled with transformational psychology and ancient wisdom Jim has created programs that create long-term core-level life transformation in his students.

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