You're listening to Episode Number 46 of the Transform your Life from the inside out podcast. Now, this is a Transformational Story Episode. And in this episode I talked to Jason. Now Jason was an Olympic athlete and a medalist. And for many years, he worked from the incorrect belief that he didn't deserve the medal that he won in the Olympics. And he didn't believe that he deserved it, because someone that his wife works with, told her that he didn't deserve the medal. And for over a decade, he worked from that place. So in this episode, we talked about a lot of things that are going to resonate with a lot of you about deserving and being perfect, and all the ways that we're showing up in life that do not serve us. So this will resonate with many of you. Keep listening.
Hi, I'm Jim Fortin and you're about to start Transforming Your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I'm widely considered a leader subconscious transformation. And I've coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you're going to find no rah rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of brain science, transformational psychology, and ancient wisdom all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you've never thought possible. If you're wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life, then this podcast is for you. Because you're going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want then becomes possible for you. I'm glad you're here.
Jason's Journey: Learning From Difficult Times to Succeed
Okay, so today I am talking with Jason, Jason Parker. Jason is an Olympic athlete, former Olympic athlete. And what I want to do is I want to actually, since I've, you know, I've been interacting Jason for a while now what I want him to do is he knows what I want to share on this episode. But Jason, why don't you tell the audience or people listening your story and then go into what we want to talk about? And we'll just go from there. We don't have any, you know, we don't have any pre-planned questions or anything. Let's just visit. So a little back history on you.
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm, I'm Canadian, and I grew up in the prairies of Canada. And like a lot of kids I, I wanted to, I wanted to be a hockey player, actually, I wanted to be in the NHL. And I quickly learned that I was one of the fastest on my team, but I didn't really have very good hands. So that wasn't going to be my route my destiny. And I came across the sport of speedskating and decided my sister actually started at first and she basically she kept coming home every weekend with winning medals. And being an 11 year old hockey player, I wanted to win medals too. And so I decided to give it a try. And so that led me on a long journey of speedskating. Lots of ups and downs led me to the highest levels to some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. I actually I missed the Olympics three times prior to while finally achieving my Olympic dream. And it was just it was a really, really incredible journey. And, you know, obviously there was a lot of really trying times, and a lot of times where I almost quit, and I almost gave up. And the biggest thing was the fact that I so much that I learned through the process, you know, Jim, I know that we we both we talk a lot. I speak I speak professionally and I lead a high level masterminds. And yeah, we speak a lot about about the journeys and the importance of journeys and, and the importance of getting up when we fall down because we don't necessarily know what the journey is going to take us. But I found that I'm sure that you can probably relate to this. And the audience, if you're listening to this, you may really be able to relate to this as well, is that I found that I've quite often learned the most through some of those what I perceived that the time as difficult times as opposed to the wins. But one of the biggest struggles that that I face is even having in the end achieving my Olympic dream. I went to the Olympics and won Olympic silver medal. It's now it's 13 years later, and for most of those years, I really struggled for not owning that title of being an Olympic medalist.
Now hang on Jason. So that that's a whole bite. Let me back up there. So what I want to take a part of our time together is a conversation that you and I had a while back, I don't know, 2,3,4 months ago, we had this conversation that let me recap what you said, is that you want an Olympic medal many years ago, but you never stepped into I'm going to use the word never, you never stepped into the power of ownership of that Olympic medal. And the reason why is because someone said what to you?
What somebody said that I actually didn't deserve it.
Okay, let's go back history says you want you want an Olympic silver medal. And somebody said, Jason, you don't deserve that. So what happened in that moment is you let that affect you. Now, let's go to the backstory and tell it because as a result of the conversation we had you recognize you did deserve it, right. And for those of you if you're listening this to audio, only his body language changes. He's smiling, when he actually when he actually owns the medal again. But let's tell them why this guy told you that you didn't deserve your Olympic medal.
Well, it was actually it was something that for for years and years, I had a really difficult time talking about. And anytime and actually and speaking professionally, speaking about being an Olympic medalist, I almost felt I almost felt incongruent, or almost almost felt like a fake because of the fact the way it was, you know, with the way had been stated to me and the way I perceived it and way I basically I took it on and owned it was that I didn't race in the final race of to win that medal like I wasn't in the actual medal round. To give you a little bit of backstory on the event. It was a long track speedster. And I competed in this in an event called the men's team pursuit. So how that works is that it's on the big 400 meter track, and three of us race at a time and we race against another team. The other team starts opposite at the opposite side of the track to us. And we basically race for eight laps, whichever team crosses line first moves on to the next round. So we did four rounds we did, there was a seeding rounds, there was a quarterfinal semi final and a final
Hang on Jason, that'll mean that erupts. So people listening, I want to take this apart some more. So where you're going here is you contributed to your team going to the next round? Absolutely. Okay. Now, let's say that you had skated horribly. Would your team had advanced to the next round?
Okay, so I want everyone to get that at this point in the story is that he's contributing to the team that was on the ice that won the medal would not have been there. Had he not contributed to the team being there? Is that correct? Jason?
Okay, so keep on going there. I just wanted to take that part of people listening out of frame.
Yeah. Yeah. And so I really struggle with that. So I was I was on the ice for that gold medal final, but I didn't actually race the race. And so because of that I, you know, there people had said certain things, and then I question my deserving this, of that medal, and then it and that just kind of set a trigger off. Because there's been a number of times, and this is something we haven't actually talked about, Jim, is that there's been a number of times prior to that, in my life, where people tried to take away some of my successes saying that, no, there was, you know, certain circumstances saying that I didn't actually deserve I didn't deserve to win this. I didn't deserve to win that. And also that in combination with the fact that I was the alternate for the Olympics for four different events. I was really wrong in my career. Before Junior World Championships. I didn't make the team I was the alternate there, too. So I was never, never felt quite good enough.
No, hang on, hang on. So let's go back in the month go into that. So I don't know where this answer is going to go. Because I didn't ask you in our conversation in the past when you had these realizations. The person that told you that you didn't deserve the medal? Do you remember, I'm not gonna ask for a name, honestly. But do you remember that person? What are stuck with you the most?
Yeah, you know, the real crazy thing is that it's actually wasn't even coming from somebody that told me directly, it was somebody that had told my wife because they've been treating my wife very poorly at her at her work. Okay. And and they had actually told they had told her about that. And so she told me,
okay, so let me ask you this. So, I've never asked you this before that the person who told your wife that you didn't deserve the Olympic medal, how many Olympic medals has that person won? None. And I want everyone to get that right now, before we go on, is that we're going to get criticized, which you recognize at this point, you know, in our conversations, you're going to get we're getting I get criticized, and as generally the people that aren't doing anything, or aren't doing what we are doing, criticizing us for doing what we're doing our achievements, or accomplishments, or, or whatever. So, well, like I said, we never talked about that. But the person telling you Oh, Jason doesn't deserve that metal, probably doesn't even know how to ice skate. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, live in Canada, maybe. So what do you think? What was it at that point? That that affected you so much?
Well, obviously, part of me also questions and didn't feel deserving. Because there had been a lot of times in my life where, where I didn't feel deserving, you know. And there's, there's even like, there's been times where I didn't feel deserving of success. There's, actually one of the challenges. This is something that, that we also haven't talked about is that might like, like I mentioned, my sister was one that started speedskating. And no Shin, she did well, she went a lot of medals, she she actually raised head to head like directly for years. Again, it is Olympic sweethearts, Katrina made don't who's a double Olympic gold medalist. And so she did very well, but she didn't go to the levels that I did. And, you know, in a lot of things, too, is that I had, I've had, I had a lot of success. But then No, she has had struggles, or certain people, like members of my family have had struggles. And so I felt guilty for having so much success. at certain times, that, you know, I almost, there's part of me, there was part of me, that would almost sabotage myself to kind of lower myself back to where they were at so that I didn't feel that guilt of your I didn't make them feel bad about themselves. I know, it's kind of crazy to know, I get it.
Yeah. So we didn't talk about this in our prior conversation, but it seems like to me is that you already had this identity of somebody who did not feel deserving of things in general. And then when this person, by the way, tells an Olympic medalist that you worked your butt off for 15 years to get there, or how many years to get there. That's 20 years with Joe Casey, okay. And you're granting, as you're saying that, so you work for 20 years to get there. One person who's never been to the Olympics, and will never be at the Olympics tells you Oh, you don't deserve the medal. And for some reason, because you already had the feelings of not being deserving inside of you, when the person said that it was kind of like the straw that broke the camel's back. And then you bought into that story, which all that it was, is, oh, I don't deserve this. Now, let's go here. You're no longer that person. But what did that cost you over the years?
You know, man, you know, like, even even with having this that person of my identity, you know, I've still impacted the lives over 50,000 people through the speaking and stuff that I've done. But I can't even fathom if I was fully unlocked. And one of the biggest things that that has really changed with something that you talked about, and something that you know, the people you work with, you talk a lot about is, is was with regards to judgment. Because I felt that if somebody knew if people knew that I wasn't actually on the ice. And that final with having that person having told me that, or having told my wife that I didn't deserve the medal. People knew that I wasn't on the ice for that, you know, they would judge me also as not deserving. So every time even though I'd be speaking, I would be holding back and people weren't getting the full me they weren't getting the full picture. And I also haven't haven't played at the at the levels that, you know, that I could have all these years. Because I you know, I just I didn't feel I didn't feel fully fully deserving of it.
Yeah. So let's go here. So what these people that are judging that have never been to the Olympics, and I'm emphasizing that, because I want people listening to get that when we're not trying to do things in the world, that there are people that want to tear us down, you know, even listening to the podcast right now, I have, I don't know, 350 reviews, I have not read them. And I thank you so much, literally so much. I mean, it means a lot to me when people leave reviews, because it just heightens the amount of people that I can reach credibility, etc. But there are some negative comments, and I've gotten some hate mail. But you know what I would, if I subscumb to that, and I let those people pull me back, that I'm never going to be able to impact the amount of people that I you know, I'm impacting and want to impact in the world. So let's take this back to you and then people listening. So when I asked you what it cost you, what you never went into is you didn't go into how much money you have lost, or let me go two places here. We're gonna come back to that. Number one, what I find interesting is people will say, well, Jason, you weren't on the ice when that medal was one. But it's interesting that the olympic committee says, You know what, kid, you've earned this medal. So the Olympic Committee has said, You've earned this medal. Now, the amount of people you're impacting, what if you were impacting twice that many people for the past 13 years? How much more money would that have put in your pocket? So really, when I ask you, what is listening to people's stories and that story, what does it cost you financially over the years?
Well, that that story is as I hate Actually, it's, it's probably cost me millions of dollars over the, you know, the 12-13 years. Because of of the impact and and this is one thing that that I don't know, if we talked about in the past to Jim is that one of the biggest things that one of the reasons why I really believe that I ended up winning the medal Finally, is that for for the three previous Olympics, that was the alternate, there was a lesson that I really needed to learn because for most of my career, I was really, I was always focused on why I wanted to go the Olympics, why I wanted to have that experience and why I wanted to really make that happen. In my last year, I finally realized I shifted my perspective and shifted my interpretation of what it was I want to create, I stopped thinking about why I wanted it. And I started thinking about, you know what may be there, if I if this, if I had this experience, maybe it might open some doors, for me to be able to have a bigger impact for me to be able to help change somebody's life for me to be able to help make a difference, to help inspire somebody to go to a higher level for you know that and that was what I started focusing on. That was actually what I shifted my perspective, it stopped being about me, and started being about what I wanted to create in the world. And so I started off on that journey. And then I allowed this one story, to stop the direction of where I was wanting to go to stop making that positive, massive positive impact that I want to be able to create. And so it's not, it's not as much about the money, but the thousands of people thousands of lives that I didn't impact over those years. But now we obviously know we can't go back in time, all we can do is a word. So So now it's now it's time. And a big portion, a big part of that a big part of what's what you've helped me to unlock is just helped to shift my perspective. on Judgment. You know, because, you know, you told me, You told me before, and we talked about this previous is that, you know, when you wake up in the morning, people, people judge people are going to judge you as you go throughout the day. And this is something I never I'd never thought of it this way before is that no matter what people are going to judge people are meaning making machines and they are going to judge, they're going to judge the color of the shirt that I'm wearing. If this ever goes on the video, my to my
Thinking today is like I'm in a green room with a green shirt. So what are people going to judge on that? And finally, I don't care. I don't have time. You know what, that's what I'm yeah. So keep on going. You're on a roll here. Keep on going.
Yeah, so the fact that once once I started realizing that people are going to judge no matter what, so then I started to really get clear and realize that what's more important is for me to have people if people are going to judge me anyways, should I try and fit the mold the criteria the picture the image, the identity of who they think I should be? Or should I fit the image of who I truly am and create the identity of who it is that I want to be, and live that way instead of living in the tiny box of what I don't even know what they're thinking of. And the bottom line is that they're going to judge me either way. And so instead of me being afraid of being judged all the time, you know, people who are judging me, they're afraid of being judged, too. So we're being hired as being afraid of people who are afraid of being judged. And it's just ridiculous when you start thinking about it, but it's so it's so opening, it's so it takes such a weight off and opens possibility.
Yeah, like I tell people, you know, you when you put yourself out there, and I'm, I'm growing just in the stratosphere, and I'm putting myself out there even more, and people will take a potshot at you. And that's what people do. And we can actually, so we can actually look at the people we're helping, or we can be concerned about the one or two or three or four or 10 that are hating on us. So which one am I you know, where am I going be more responsible, I'm going to be more responsible to the people that I'm assisting to live better lives and not two, or three, or four, or five, or 10, or however many that are hating on me. So let's go here for a second. is really I like how this is unfolding. Again, we started with no questions. And it seems like the foundation of everything that we're talking about, let's go back here, I'm jumping around. Number one, you've recognized that when you let go of that fear of judgment, things just open up for you. Right? Let's go here. What I tell people is the strategy that I used to use and it doesn't work. And by the way, I'm at home, we might have some dogs barking here. So anyone listening Just so you know, I got dogs. And and you know what, anytime the UPS or FedEx comes or the mail, they love the bark. So and that's not going to be edited out if it happens. So what I tell people is I used to avoid being judged, I would not put myself out there. And it took a lot of energy to actually avoid being judged and not putting myself out. And when I shifted to you know what, they are already going to judge, so I'm already expecting it. That gave me so much freedom, like you to say you know what they're going to take, they're going to take shots at me anyway. So why don't I just go ahead and put myself out there and expect the shots if they come. And I'm fine with that. And it's so easy to put anything out now because I already know, can't please everyone, and somebody is going to be hating on me and yelling at me and this and that. And you're this and you know, so why don't I just go do what I'm going to do, and impact the people that I do. And whatever happens from there happens from there. And from what I hear you say, you actually have achieved that yourself. And now it's easy to put yourself out.
Yeah, it's definitely getting so much easier. And you know, one of the most impactful things I've ever heard you say, Jim, and this is something that is just, there's been there's been so many, but this one hit me and I'm just getting chills thinking about it. And so so if you're listening to this, you might want to write this one down, is stop asking how good you are and start asking what the world needs. soon as you stop start living from soon as you start living from that place, and that's something that I I still need to do much more so. Because, you know, my my family used to be known as the perfect Parker's you know, so as you as you know, I let quite often I let perfectionism hold me back from also putting things out because perfectionism obviously is tied to judgment
judgment, correct? Yeah.
And so once we stop asking, you know, asking how good we are, you know, who am I to do this? Instead of asking, Who am I start asking, you know, what does the world need? How can I serve? What difference can I make? What can I do today to make a bigger impact on the world? Now, that's one of the things that I wake up in the morning, and I said, I start with three intentions, I based off with three of my three of my main values. One being one of my highest values is my family. You know, I have kids that mean more to me than anything in the world, I have an amazing wife and family. So the first thing I asked myself is, you know, how can I be a better dad today? How can I be a better spouse? How can I be? How can I be a better person today to my family? And then the next thing that I ask is that, and obviously this has to do with the audience that I serve is that, you know, what can I create today that might be able to make a difference in somebody's world? What sort of thing can I share? What can I What can I do to be able to move forward on on that destiny that I have the vision I want to create.
And that's what you're doing on the ice, also your last year, is you took the focus off from you and put it on to maybe me being on the ice and everything I've done, let me forget about me for a moment, which get out of your head about being a perfectionist, and everything's got to be x, y, z. And you just skate your butt off, and you're on a team that wins a medal. Keep on going.
Yeah, and actually, and just on that that thread to is that one of the things that was really, really interesting is that for most of my career, I was in an individual sport. And then one of the things that I did, and that, people thought was really weird, but you will totally understand where I'm going with this is that I used to help like a lot of teammates, obviously, we like we have two coaches that would be working with us quite often one or one to two coaches. And so those those coaches, they only each of them have one set of eyes. And when there is like five or 10 athletes on the ice at a time, they're all watching that. And so the interesting thing is that what I would do is that if there was something that I saw one of my one of my teammates, which was also one of my competitors, there is something that I saw that they were doing that the coach was missing, I would actually tell them, and so I would be I would be helping my competitors to be better. So a lot of times people wonder, Well, why the heck would you be helping your competitors, you know, because obviously, you have to race against them. And the way I looked at it is that I never wanted to stand on a podium, knowing that there was like some technical thing, or there was a little piece of technology or whatever that I knew that somebody else didn't know, I want to know that I stood in that podium because I was the dust on that day. So if I was going to help my teammates to be better, who's going to force me to have to be better, so that I could still, you know, place ahead of them and still, you know, hit that podium. And so with the team pursuit it made that created the perfect environment, because all sudden, we were working with it as a team together for a common vision and common goal. So for those listeners that are entrepreneurs, this is something that is so important to know, is that a lot of times we end up as solo preneuers, and we try to do it all ourselves. And and you know this, you know, Jim, I know that you used to be in this place, too. So you can totally relate to where I'm going with this. And it's a matter of, we can't create the biggest change and the biggest vision of this world on our own, we need help. And,that's just that that's so that's so key is is that understanding and opening ourselves up to the help because the way I was to, I was the youngest in my family and I was the baby. I've two older siblings. And so I was always told what to do for most of my life. And so a lot of the times the youngest, we get into this thing where it's like, I want to do it myself, you know, I don't want help, I don't want to be told what to do. And so what I'm finally realizing, so I've been trying to do that for a very long time. And I'm realizing that you know, I can't do it all on my own, to be able to make the massive positive impact is that I need to enlist other people in the vision of what what I want to create, I know that you've been done a fantastic job of creating community, and believers and, and people that are two testaments of, of what it is that you teach the work that you do. And I am definitely one of those people.
Yeah, we've had a conversation a couple of times, and I've had the good fortune to be able to interact with you in a way that's made a difference. Let me build on a couple of your stories here. I remember an old friend of mine, his name is Ron White, not the comedian, but he was a National Memory Champ. And I believe 2010 and 11 here in the US. And in 2012 he was kind of getting tired of it. And he and I were talking about it. And there was another guy that went on in 2012 to win. But in 2012 this guy that one asked Ron, you guys, I can't from what I heard what Ron told me because I can't afford your program when you give it to me. And Ron's like hell, no, I'm not giving you my program. If I give you my program, you're going to compete against me. And Ron had a coach, his coach was a navy seal. And his coach said, you give him everything you have. And Ron's like, What? What do you mean everything I have. And his coach said, If you give him everything you have, that will force you to become a stronger competitor, if you want to be. Now by this time, his heart, he's like, I've won twice, you know, let me pass the torch that some other kid you know, but he's like, I'm glad I gave him everything because it made me much stronger what I do. So for me, I don't mind within the parameters that I can in business. I don't mind who does what with any of my stuff, or whatever. Because it's always forces me to actually build a stronger and a better game. Now I want to go back here that quote, don't ask how good you are, but ask what the world needs. I had that on my desk for all of 2010, 11 and 12. Because I used to also work from, oh my God, I'm not good enough. And people are going to compare me here and there. And I can't do what they can do. And oh my gosh, this person can do this more than me. And in 2010, I met a woman named Virginia Cook that I might have mentioned to you before, yeah, Virginia is about 80 years old now. But for she's a Dallas business staple, she's an icon. She's an influencer. I mean, she's personal friends with you know, Ross Perot, the billionaire who recently passed. She's a powerhouse in Dallas business, her company to billions and billions a year in business. And she wrote me a note one time. And she said, because we are very close personal friends. And even though she hired me to coach and her company, she became my mentor, and the most significant business mentor I've ever had. And she said, and a note to me, no matter how high I go in life, what I think about is how many people that I can take with me, I never think about achievement, I think about contribution. And that's where you work from. And that's what where I work from, and our conversations is, you know, the achievements, all that stuff wears off, the sparkle wears off. But what I look at is, at the end of the day, how many people that I can help. Now I want people to get that because we're saying the same story. And there's a couple of major takeaways in our time together today. So that is one is I don't focus on competition. I do not focus on competition, because I have no competition. Why? There are other people in my industry, I'm in their industry, but no one is me. And I'm not them. So they are not my competition. And I do not focus on that. Now, a big takeaway that I want is what it seems you've heard me talk about before and our conversations. You've changed your stories. Yeah, so what was your old story before we had our first conversation?
Well, my big story was that I didn't deserve I didn't deserve to be, I didn't deserve to be Olympic medalists. I didn't deserve to be Olympian I didn't deserve, like, Who am I to go out and really make a difference in the world who's going to want to listen to me when I'm a fake, you know, these are all the stories and you know, what's really interesting, and part of the reason why, why I think that, that you resonate, why we really get along so well, is that some of the things that that I speak on a very, very similar concepts to what you speak. So I've talked about stories for years, and without fully realizing without being able to fully identify some of my own stories that were the most, because quite often we have, I think it's our mutual friend, James Wedmore, the first time I heard it, he talked about blind spots, you know, the fact that quite often we don't see our own blind spots.
Wait, wait, wait, not quite often? all the time? Yeah. Because if we follow them, they wouldn't be blind spots.
Keep on going.
Yeah. And, and so the fact that I was, you know, even though I, I taught on some of this stuff, because I was no, we don't see our own blind spots, I was limited to that. And then some of the different spin that you put on certain things, you know, like, the fact that your whole obviously, I'm not going to give it away, because I know that people, if they you know, anybody who's listening to this, this, this podcast, make sure you go to Jim's website and download the master thought formula, I think that you actually give it away as a brain For for your email. It that was something that is very similar concept to what I teach. But a little bit of tweaking perspective, is an absolute has been an absolute game changer in my entire life. It is just so so powerful, that the whole you are where your attention is, that's another one of the biggest takeaways that has been an absolute life changing quote, for me, I don't know how many times per day, focusing on where my attention is, you know, if we, if something happens if the kids start fighting, or whatever, and I initially go to react, it's like, okay, you know, where's your attention, and I take it, you know, take a second, and then I respond. And so my relationship with my wife, and with my kids has been totally transformed, because of what I have learned from you, Jim, and I'll be forever, forever, eternally grateful, because it's not only impacting their lives, but it's going to impact the lives of their children moving forward, and everybody that they encounter because of how difference I am being in my relationship with those around me. So
no, well, thank you. And let me add there, Jason, is that what you've really changed is, the world hasn't changed. I mean, we still have the same American president, since we've met, you have the same Prime Minister in Canada, probably. We video conference before you've got the same pictures behind you, I've got this change the one behind me. But same same room, got the same dogs, every you know, nothing's changed the external world, what's changed, you know, we talked about Transform your Life from the Inside Out. What's changed is your internal world. And what's really changed is, when I started poking holes, when we talked, I started poking holes and your stories, that I don't deserve this. Now, even though you're grateful, I'm grateful that you're grateful. Thank you. But my concern is this. My thought is, that's all well and good. When I'm looking at those the amount of people that you're going to affect in the world as a result of changing your stories. Now, even though you said it, and it was woven in there, what is the story that you work from now?
What I'm really stepping into is, is one of the big quotes that I've also taken away from you is 100% possible 1% 100% of the time,
Wait, wait from an Olympian go figure, right? I mean, if you were in a, you know, a wagon somewhere and you're trying to enter the Olympics, I get it, but you're an Olympian. And it's so interesting that, do you know how many, you know maybe you're grinning? I mean, how many millions of people want to make it to the, to the Olympics, but only what, 3000 a year or whatever, every four years? Make it? And what's interesting is, if that doesn't prove to you 100% possible one hundred percent of the time that you were living, but you didn't even know that you were living it. Keep on going. I just wanted to make that distinction.
Yeah, well, one thing that I think a lot of us, a lot of us forget is that we have we sometimes , we have short memories for some things, and we have long memories for other things. And quite often, you know, I don't know if you remember this, but in one of the Facebook groups that I'm in with you, I posted, I posted a note in there, I just I asked people I said, you know, why do you think it is that most people tend to default to worst case scenario, instead of best case scenario. Mm hmm. Why is the default always the worst case scenario. And I think that quite often our long term memory, quite often we hold on to a lot of those worst case scenarios for a longer point longer time. And we forget a lot of our successes, or we tend to minimize your successes. That's something that that I was really, really bad for. Like I can remember my very first my first see your world championships, I won a bronze medal, my first World Championships, but it's a big deal.
That back then. Like there was there was guys that I'd watched on TV there who were my heroes, and I beat them in that race. And you know, the devastating thing is, Jim, is I look back, you know, what the first thing that crossed my mind was, when I found out that I won a bronze medal in that race.
It was that you know what, I did this wrong, this wrong and this wrong, I would have done those things, right, maybe I wouldn't won a silver or gold. And this is something that you know, if you know, if you're in business, you probably do this every single day, you basically steal yourself of your successes. And so what I and I didn't realize that it's also until my last year, what I finally started to do is that I will always look for the positives first. So it didn't matter if it worked out was if I had a terrible workout or a terrible race, I had to first go and I had to look at Okay, what is some positive takeaway that I can take that and then build off of that. And the real interesting thing that that came from that Jim is that like, I can remember, specifically, I was speaking at an event. And it was I thought, I just totally bombed. And I had defaulted initially to that, that that worst case scenario and negative? And I'm like, No, you know, what, I gotta, look at I gotta take my own medicine. And look at the positive I started journaling. I started journaling, but all the positives from that. And the real interesting thing is when we start actually know, recognizing, acknowledging, then celebrating the successes, no matter how big or small, it makes a real big difference in helping to develop momentum. Because as I was journaling that once, so way I framed it instead of it being framed, as Okay, so what did I do wrong? Or what I did to do bad, it's okay, so I found all the positives and took a lot of positives out. And then I framed it as, what could I do better next time? How can I improve upon this for next time? Yeah. So it really took the negative away, and the whole process became positive. And so from doing that, in my skating, every single race, it didn't matter. If I know where I placed, I, if I went out there and gave my absolute best effort, I would know that that's the best I can do. Because I can't control. You know, I can't control my competitors on the day I can control whether I can't control my what lane I'm in a parent and all like, you know, all I can do is prepare myself the best I possibly can and do my best. And so often in businesses that we're always focused on what we're doing wrong. And we forget what we do, right? That's been so powerful, and in control has been something I really, really learned, you know, the changing the frame around control. So thank you for that, too.
Yeah, absolutely. And I appreciate everything you're sharing. And that's what we do. The reason we default to bad many times, it's either conditioning, or its brain based reptilian brain based, we're always looking for fight or flight and survival. So Oh, I didn't that bad. I do want to recap there and add. And by the way, I'm thinking as we're going through this, so I just letting you go and a lot of nuggets here. You know, I've talked to you before that my brother in law is a shaman and that I've worked with him and something that he said to me years ago that I think will really I don't think I've ever said this on a podcast is we talked about judgment. When we started our time together today, people judge us, but you know, who judges judges us more than anyone else? So
We do. We are our own worst judges. I mean, I remember now that I'm in my 50s. But some buddies, we were doing a fraternity week, and we get together once a year, just to guys, and we've known each other for 35 years. And there was a couple of us and somebody like three of us together and somebody held the camera up and took a selfie. And I remember Todd popping in and goes Wait, pull the camera up higher. So it doesn't look like you have a double chin. So obviously some point in the past, that's crossed his mind. And I just started laughing because what we do is we get we get up in the morning, and especially when you get older, you look in the mirror and you're like, what the hell happened? Where did that other person, you know, or whatever we look at ourselves, and we look at our work. And I used to do that. And I don't really anymore, I just put it out there. Because I know that everything's going to resonate differently with other people. So I can look at it through this lens and say, well, that's not my best work. And other people have said, well, that's amazing. Well, I didn't think they were going to say amazing. So I've recognized it's a waste of energy for me to sit there and just judge myself all day long. So like you do now, I just put it out. Whatever I put out like I'd mentioned the dogs earlier, you know what if the dogs bark because the FedEx Well, guess what people listening are going to hear the dogs bark? As you know, I don't know, I tell people that 80% of people listening own dog, so they're going to understand.
you know, but I can't be perfect with it, no matter because people are going to judge. So our takeaways today are no matter what you do, which I did a podcast on this. And your demonstration to this, no matter what you do. People are going to judge you. So why don't I just do what you do here. I want to add this. I've trained thousands of speakers I don't platform speak anymore. But something you just said on the ice about the ice is what I tell people people would always say, Jim, when I was training them, how do I be a great platform speaker, easy. The best way is not strategies and not techniques, not trying to be perfect. And your pacing and your modulation, the best way to be an amazing speaker is to just have a good time.
Because if you're having a good time, other people are going to have a good time. And you know what, if we're not perfect, and we just show up, and we just do our stuff, and we have a good time, that is a great way to be very successful, or at least enjoy what we're doing. So our number two of our takeaways today, number one, stop worrying what other people think. Because guess what, stop asking how good you are. And that's what the world needs.Right?
Secondly, is I kind of lead you there is that everything's about stories, when you change the stories because they're nothing more than made up in your head. Like the person who said many years ago Oh, Jason doesn't deserve that metal was just a human being who made something up. Right? They made it up. Yeah, it's some story there. Their story came their story about you not deserving the medal came from some story. They're telling themselves about something.
Right? Absolutely. Because hurt, you know, we were that heard it before, you know, hurt people hurt people, you know, and it's so often it's people that that are hurting or saying negative things about us is because they're they're not happy with where they're at in their life. And so they know, they will judge negative judges negatively because they're, it threatens them seeing, you know, us putting ourselves out there and trying to make a difference in the world and trying to have that impact. And when they you know, when they feel sometimes they can people can feel small. And so that's why, you know, when I talk about people quite often, you know, with that with, especially with athletes, you know, people will put us on a podium, know, like, I stand on a podium. And so people, so the general population, well, we'll do the same thing. So and so what some people will do is like that one person is like, you've heard the story of the crabs in the bucket, when you have a bucket full of crabs, and you know, some of the crabs are trying to climb out one of the other Crabs right before the crab gets out, another crab will grab its leg and pull it back down, is that, you know, that's what people will try to do. And so what I try to do instead, instead of allowing myself now to be pulled down as I want to reach out with my hand, and I want to try and pull as many people up onto that podium with me to help people go to that next level. You know, because I talked about the importance of a limp define your life and what that means and how I define Olympian and if it's okay, if I just share real quick Jim,how I define I define Olympian differently than most people know, if if you were to actually say, you know, Jim, if I asked you what, how you would define Olympian in the traditional sense, what would you say?
Traditional fence, I would say, world class athlete.
Yeah, yeah, somebody that's participate in the Olympic Games, like something along those lines. So the way I define Olympian is either defined Olympian, as someone who chooses to persist without exception, until they achieve something extraordinary in their life. So somebody who chooses to persist without exception until they achieve something, you know, extraordinary amazing in their lives. And so that's why I truly believe that all of us have the ability, the potential the possibility to be Olympians in our lives in any aspect, it doesn't just have to be in sport. And,but that's the thing is that people people tend to forget, you know, since they put where I was going with this is people put athletes on podiums. And I think, you know, what you've realized is that, from, you know, from our conversations, and working together is that, you know, even though I stood on Olympic podium, which not very many people have had that opportunity. Yeah, you know, I'm still a kid that grew up in New York and Saskatchewan, I put my parents, you know, I put my pants on one leg at a time and, and I'm still a Down to Earth kid. And I think that's one of you know, that's a positive for me. But sometimes it can be a negative, because I just see myself, the way I look at things is that I see what I did on the ice is something that I truly believe that anybody could do if they choose to, you know, be committed the way I was committed.
They're persistent. They You know, they're persistent, if you're if you want to have so if you want to be Olympian, your business, you know, choose to be committed to that, whatever outcome that you want to have, and then persist without exception. So with, you know, persisting quite often has the connotation that at some point in time, that's going to end, you persist to a point. But that's why I learned that from there's a speaker called Andy Andrews, a friend of mine, a friend of mine gave me a DVD of his and he's talked about persist without exception. And by adding the exception, there is no there is no exception. It's like you persist until you achieve what it is that you set out. But the important thing is then to detach from the outcome. That was, that was such a big, big shift in my last that last year, that was a big part of what I think how why everything happened, the way it did is because I came to the realization that whether I go to the Olympics or not, I'm still going to go out and make a difference. And so if it's meant to be, you know, it'll work out the way it's meant to work out. And I had faith that things would happen the way it was meant to happen. So looking back over these 13 years, yeah, maybe I didn't progress the way that I maybe had envisioned at one point, maybe, yeah, there's millions of dollars that I might have lost out on thousands of people I might not have helps. But that was part of my journey, because I am different, a different person now. And I needed to go through all of that to be who I am now,
Today. Yeah, that made you who are exactly,
So yeah. Thank you for every bit of that. And thank you for everything you've shared. So their takeaways for people listening is that stop asking how good you are. And your for those of you listening to this instead of video, his body language changed when he actually responded that line. And I remember saying that to you one time, and I've had that I don't anymore, but I had it on my desk for several years. Stop asking how good you are and start asking what the world needs. I don't know why I want to tell this story. It's just 30 seconds. Old business partner of mine was a first round draft choice into the NFL back in the early 80s. And he played for the New Orleans Saints. And he said, he goes they're the worst team in the world. Because the fans are the meanest and I kind of thought I'm like, wow, you know, most people love their teams and and they are the Saints for losing back then. But he, he said when we lose, man, our fans are vicious. And he said one day he was talking to Archie Manning it was Peyton Manning's Father, you know, and Eli Manning, because they're, they're playing at the same time. And he goes, Archie, run out with me when we run up, when we run out of the locker room on the field run out with me. Because they're going to boo me and Archie Manning goes hell, they're going to boo me to you, no matter no matter what you do, you're going to get people that are going to boo you. And then then we go from there is what stories do you tell yourself about that? My final comment is this for me is that life is this way or that way. Because we tell ourselves life is this way or that way. And you're the perfect example of that. So Jason, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your time and for sharing your story with everyone. One minute anything you want to finish with
Just one last thing on stories too. And this is something that I love to share with people now too. And, and the cool thing about stories is that you know, people people say there is no such thing as time travel, and I'm here to say that there absolutely is you can travel back in time. And how you can do that is is by going back. And the cool thing about story is that you just made up those stories in your head anyways. So you can go back in time, you can go back in your own mind your mind and create a new story. And then through repetition, through time, you know, there's other techniques that Jim can teach you of how to be able to do this to be able to help solidify that new story in your life. So you can actually time travel and go back and completely change your life by changing your stories, and, and moving forward and creating a story. Because if you're gonna make a story and moving forward, everything you talk, everything that you experienced is all you interpret everything that happens and you create a story about all those interpretations. So if you're going to make up an interpretation and make up a story, why not make one that serves you and helps move you forward helps, you know helps to be able to elevate all of all the people around you helps to make a difference in the world make a positive impact, and truly help to increase the vibration of this whole planet.
Yeah, Jason, thank you. I couldn't have said it better. And I want to point out here didacticlyeven as you were talking about stories, people listening, we're making up stories about your story about stories. Yeah, that's what we do. And Jason is correct. It's all made up in your head anyway. So if you're gonna make it up, why not make up stuff that's going to help you not stuff that's going to actually keep holding you down. Jason, Thanks you so much today. I'm very, very grateful. And I know people are going to get a lot out of this. Thanks so much, Jason, and I'll talk to you soon.
Yeah, thanks a lot. Man is honored to be here.
Thanks, Jason. Take care, buddy. Bye.
Okay, so that wraps up our time with Jason. And as you were listening, I'm sure that you probably heard some of your own stories and some of your own life and what Jason was sharing. So for me as I was visiting with Jason, I was thinking wow, a lot of what he's sharing will resonate with a lot of the listeners. Okay, I want to remind you very, very important I've been talking about it now for four to six weeks very quickly and very quickly on every episode tripping over my words today. But I am doing a three part no charge live training starting on September the 4rth and it's called the be do have life transformation series. It's a three part live training. So that you can start Transforming Your Life from the Inside Out. So whatever you do, make sure that you get registered for that training, I promise you, you're going to discover that we're going to go even deeper than the podcast. And I'm going to help you start Transforming Your Life even more. If you're listening here at iTunes, the domain name is jimfortin.com/bedohave one word, jimfortin.com/bedohave. So whatever you do, make sure you get registered, Mark your calendar and be on that training. OK, the next podcast episode. And ironically, it just happened this way. It was not planned. So this is the universe working. But the next podcast episode is about Be to Have. And seriously, it wasn't I you know, I've got a content calendar, you know, six months in advance. And it just happened to coincide a week before the be to have training. So what I'm going to do on the next episode, I'm going to start talking about be do have, and then we're going to go a lot deeper on the live be do have trainings and and also not only that, I'm going to do you know, the be do have trainings. Plus, I'm going to do a QA a couple of hours later or the next day to follow up with each training. So whatever you do, and I know that many of you do you stay tuned. And I appreciate that is make sure you're on the next episode. And I'll catch you over there. Also, I know there's an outro here at you know, pre recorded our intro. It's on every podcast. But I want to tell you, seriously, let me slow down here, I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. I mean, I get Instagram messages every day. And by the way i i would get lost. If you have questions, please, as we say send them to support at jimfortin.com because I can't keep up with them. But mainly I'm grateful for the messages where this podcast has helped you in some way live a better life. And me sharing this, this is not pre-recorded. I'm telling you from the heart, that I'm very, very grateful for my team, helping bring this to you. And I'm very, very grateful for you allowing me to serve so that we can all actually evolve and grow and transform ourselves and create a much better world for all of us. So again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I'll catch you over on the next episode. Bye bye.
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