EPISODE 274: “Reaction And Change – Are You Giving Away Or Retaining Your Power?”
Recently, I was talking to my brother-in-law, the shaman, don Xavier, yesterday. It was just a general conversation though some things came up that we have talked about before. None of it was pointed at me but we talked about a few concepts that just may be able to have an impact in your life.
Two things in particular. 1) Reactivity and 2) Nothing changes. When it comes to not changing I don’t mean it in the way you may think. In the way we talked about it here, I’m sure most listeners will find it valuable and will be able to see themselves in it.
In my 13-week transformation program, TCP, we spend a week on the concept of reaction. Neurologically, a reaction can be related to either a survival defense or has simply become a brain-based habit. Regardless, how often do you get yourself in trouble when you react? How often do you react and wish you could take back your reaction? How often do you react and cause fights in your relationships?
No matter your reactivity, when it happens in response to someone else’s behavior, you’re out of balance.
Next, we talked about what we allow to change us and I don’t mean overall, in the grand scheme of our life but I mean in the course of daily living.
When we let things change us, we give our power to the external world. The bigger caveat/message here is that it’s vital that we find impeccability in our life and that is a loss of ego, letting go of attachment, letting go of past history, and balancing the higher part of us with the lower part of us.
When we learn to create impeccability, the key is not to let things change us from that, no matter what happens in life.
When we react, we change based on external circumstances and we let these circumstances pull us out of our peace of mind and balance.
You’re listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is titled Reaction and Change – Are you Giving Away or Retaining your Power? This episode is inspired by a conversation with my brother-in-law Don Xavier, the shaman. And he called me yesterday and we were talking about things. Personal things, family things. And the conversations often go on for a while and gravitate towards, you know, in two different areas or into different areas. And yesterday we started talking about reaction how reactive people are. And then he started talking about something that I’ve heard for many years. How he doesn’t let the external world change him. And that’s what I want to share with you in this episode. So, no matter where you are in life or who you are, I think you’ll find some nuggets in this episode for you. Keep listening.
Hi, I’m Jim Fortin, and you’re about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you’re going to find no rah-rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom, all rolled into one to take your life to levels you’ve never thought possible. If you’re wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. And this podcast is for you. Because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want becomes possible for you. I’m glad you’re here.
Okay, so this episode is titled, Are You Giving Away or Retaining Your Power? Known that recently I did an episode on that, you know, I don’t know, last episode episode before one before that I don’t know. It all runs together. But about how we leak our power and when I say my brother-in-law, Don Xavier. Now people will say, Jim, why do you always say your brother-in-law, Don Xavier. The reason why, is some of you have been listening for three and a half years, some of you are brand new this week. So, when I mentioned Don Xavier, who is my brother-in-law, the shaman. Also, I say this to just create some clarity. There’s a guy on YouTube named Don Xavier. That is not my brother-in-law Don Xavier. My brother-in-law has no social media and for crying out loud, he, he didn’t have anything beyond. AOL email aggress till a couple of years ago. Anyway, he called me, and we were talking yesterday about different things.
Family things. And when he calls me, the conversations generally go in a lot of different directions and gravitate towards different things. And I called him about something for me, health wise, that I’m working on. Or have my attention on, let me put it that way. And he, he said, here, do this, do that, do this, do that. And then the conversation went through a couple of different places two places predominantly, and I want to share them. Basically, an overview or the content of that conversation. We talked about our reactions. And how people react in life, how reactive people can be. And then he also talked about something that candidly he’s talked about, both of these things to me before. And in this conversation, it wasn’t directed at me. Meaning saying, here are things you need to work on. That’s not the context of the conversation. There were things that just came up. And I thought, you know what? There is my topic for the podcast this week. And the other one was changed. Now. Maybe not, well, definitely not. There’s no, maybe, to it. Not change in the way that you may be thinking about change, because even when you heard the title, you might be thinking, oh, this is about changing myself. It’s the opposite of that. It’s about not changing yourself. And I’ll explain what I mean.
So, let’s take these apart and let’s look at these for a moment. First reactivity. Now when we react, and I don’t think there’s anyone listening that doesn’t know we all react to the world. I want to point it out. I mean, we all react. For a couple of different reasons. But what matters is are we choosing or are we automatically reacting? And are we reacting on autopilot? And the reason when we react and even when I say react, I mean, overreacting. The reason that we react is because something, or somebody has done something. That has triggered us. And it’s triggered a belief or a value or some commonly held thought about the world. The way we have our world structured. And the way we think it should be. Someone doesn’t do it that way. And that triggers a lot of different people. What I want to point out is about reactivity. Is reactivity also to some degree brain based. I mean, it’s a survival mechanism to a small degree, or even to a larger, larger degree. I don’t know if it’s like 37%, you know, survival based.
As an example. But when I say react, for example, I do not like never to have liked, and I don’t know that I ever will in this lifetime, I probably maybe was consumed by one in the past life. I can’t even go into the snake house at the zoo. And I’m not been to the zoo in 30 years, but, but the snake house from reptile house is one little house I stay out of it. The zoo. I do not like snakes. I don’t like seeing them. I don’t like anything about looking at snakes. And if I see a snake on the ground, I’m going to run. And if I think it’s a snake, what’s the brain things through infrared to get, it can be a rope I’m still going to recoil and probably move pretty quickly. That’s reaction and we’re reacting. It’s a survival mechanism. But the reaction I’m talking about here is that someone does something and you get bent out of shape.
So, let me ask you what things you react to when your life. You know, when have you reacted? And you’re like, oh crap. I shouldn’t have said that. Or somebody did X, Y, Z, you react. And then you say things you do not mean because you react, you, you know, somebody does something and you react, and you make the situation worse. It leads to fights, arguments, division. People not talking whatever it might be. So, the question is. Reaction. How often do you react? Now my Transformational Coaching Program, we do a whole week on this and I’m not going to go into it in depth here. But where do I want to go here as something that he said to me yesterday, and he’s not talked about it this way before. And candidly, I mean, I’m very direct about that many years ago. I’m not so much anymore. And I manage myself pretty, well, I w I would guess, I would say, and most people would say, but many years ago, I used to be one of the most reactive people. Around. I mean, I’d react to everything, and I don’t mean throwing tantrums and even letting people know that I was reacting. But I would react and this, you know, this would trigger me and that would trigger me, and this would trigger me and that would trigger me. I spent my entire day triggered.
Now, again, this is 25, 30 years ago when years prior to that. But I understand. You know, the concept of just reacting to the world. Here’s the thing. And where I want to go in this episode for just a bit. And one caveat here is, I don’t know where this episode’s going to go. I have zero notes. I am moving this week as that either mentioned or not mentioned. in this episode, I think I did, if not, I intended to, and if I already have, I apologize I’m living out of boxes until I can get into my new home. So today I’m scratching my head going. Okay. What do we do for this episode? Oh yeah. The conversation I had with Don Xavier. Perfect topic. So. Reaction. Somewhere, he went with this. And the conversation yesterday. Was a, he’s never asked me the question in this particular way. And he told me he was thinking about this in relation to his own life, decades and decades ago. Because I’ve again, I’ve apprenticed with him for 27 years. I’ve never seen him. Not one time ever be reactive. I’ve not seen him throw tantrums, have not seen him, you know? Get bent out of shape and never, ever, ever, ever. He’s always liked a pool of just calm water all the time. 24/7.
So, when he talks about reaction, I don’t even know what brought it up. I think it was other people that we know when somebody is being idle, know what it was anyway. He said something that he’s never said before. In this way he goes when people react, what they don’t think about is how does it affect their equilibrium? Physically and spiritually. Now most of us, I know for many, many years, decades, I never thought about it in that way. Someone would do something. I would react. Someone would cut me off in traffic and I’d be like, your so-and-so blah, blah, blah. Or somebody would do something that would, I don’t know, just different things. I would be reactive, even if I didn’t express it to that person. Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. Inside. Inside myself. And my mind was reactive. And the conversation he and I were having yesterday. Was actually now, now I remember, and again, I’m, um, I’m unprepared, but I’m prepared for this call. This, this podcast episode. I make a lot of calls by the way, a lot. And my house was supposed to be done.
The contract we signed for the house was for 9 months, a very reputable builder, a luxury home builder. We’re going on 21 months this month. And we will move in in a couple of weeks. Finally, after 21 months. All kinds of challenges getting into this home. And he was talking to me about, you know, how people react when things don’t go their way. And something he’s always said to me before I even put an offer on the property, it was. It hadn’t even been, been built, obviously. He goes, no matter what you do. Do not let this home take you out of equilibrium. Meaning. Peace. Spiritual peace. Peace of mind. And we were talking about that yesterday because I’m like, you know, whatever happens. Oh, we’re talking about, you know, I’m supposed to be in and by the third week of May. If I don’t, there are consequences. For that, with the builders, loan and, and interest rates and everything else, my rate’s been locked in, but it expires in a couple of weeks. And I’m pretty much of the mindset that I knew. I know I’m going to be in, in the house and everything’s going to be done and I’m going to be closed, but you know what?
I can’t control anything. I can’t control the granite fabricators. I can’t control the weather. There’s a lot of things. If not, most things I cannot control, actually you don’t control anything. Let me rephrase that. We don’t control anything. We choose. And so, we’re just talking about how many people there are in life. They get reactive when they can’t control things and they throw tantrums and this and that, and they get mad. But the whole bigger point with him. And it’s always been his point with me and people that work with him. Always maintain your equilibrium. And I wish I could say more about it. He didn’t talk a lot about it yesterday. But he talked about. No. He talked a lot about this over the years and how the body’s an electromagnetic being, how we’re lumen as beings. And when we get like a tantrum, when we get reactive. What we do is we throw the vibe electro, you know, electromagnetic being out of whack and we get out of balance. And then he went to just a little bit. How do you think of getting out of balance and throwing your tantrums for whatever it might be because you’re reacting to something? How do you think that affects your body chemistry? How do you think that affects what he calls? You know, your biodome, meaning your body’s a dome and there’s a, there’s a. You know, the biosphere around it with your electromagnetic field.
How do you think? Reacting. And I’m using the phrase throwing tantrums, but that’s what a lot of people do when they react. How do you think that reacting or where I started this overreacting throws your biodome out of whack and out of balance. So that’s one thing I wanted to share with you because I know a lot of us don’t look at it in that way. And again today. There’s very little that I react to because I remember them. The episode from last week, I believe when I talked about surrendering. And my go-to place is well. It is what it is. And building this home. Literally, we have a contract. I have a contract that says nine months and the contractor is very reputable and he says it has never taken me more than nine months to build a home. And he goes, I say a year to be, you know, to be safe, but it’s never been, never been more than nine months. And I even asked him before I signed the contract. What about labor shortages? This was in 2021 about the house. He said, I said, what about labor shortages? He goes, Jim, I’ve been doing this for 30 years. All of my subcontractors are dedicated. I will have no problems.
Well, that’s all we’ve had from day one problem after problem after problem, after problem after problem. With contractors, subcontractors. I live in Sedona, Arizona. It’s a small town. It’s small as it is. But I figured, and I. Yeah, I know. I know people who knew the contractor and I’m like, okay, the guy’s reputable and he’s got you. You know, a good reputation and does good work. Very good work, not a problem. That’s all we’ve had. And I look at all the opportunities I’ve had to get reactive. And then you could say, well, Jim, you know, you can’t control that, which I’ve already mentioned, but you know what? There are other things, because on this property, I also took a building loan, instead of putting cash out of pocket a builder’s loan, and that has expired twice. And the building loan companies like we’re about to call the loan due.
Well, I can pay it off. That’s not a problem, but I’d rather finance a very small portion of the home. And, you know, pay it off in a year. Then deplete cash right now just being transparent. But what I’m telling you, there’s been literally a hundred things that I could react to. And, and the very beginning, I’m like, it’s not worth it. It’s not worth reacting to all of these things, because if I do, I jeopardize my internal state. If I do, I jeopardize my internal wellbeing. If I do. And the moment that I react, I give my power away. Think about that? Give your power away. So, when you react to someone. Guess what, they’re controlling you. You might not think about it that way, but they are controlling you. It’s kind of like them saying jump and you say how high. Because whatever they do is like saying jump. And then what you do is you jump your reaction and you’re jumping. Based upon what they have done, based upon your interpretations of it. And guess what, as I just said, you’re giving your power to them.
And some people, when you do it and people don’t do things maliciously, you’re giving your power away, but when some people push your buttons and you react guess, and they keep doing it, guess what. They are taking your power away from you. And you are allowing it. As a matter of fact, you’re not only allowing it. You’re like, hey, doors are open here, take my power. And that’s what you do. So be very mindful that when you’re reacting, you’re giving your power away. Okay. And the second part of our conversation, we talked about. Not changing. Now what I mean by that is probably not in the context. You’re thinking about. Many of you, might’ve me going? Oh boy, I don’t have to work on myself. That’s not what I mean. So, where do I want to go is this? I never understood it fully until a couple of years ago.
And he doesn’t teach. He talks a lot, meaning he shares a lot of wisdom and insight and knowledge, but he doesn’t. I teach myself, like step one, step two, step three. That’s all up to you. And he’s often said the phrase. I probably literally heard this phrase a thousand times. That I don’t let people change me. Is what he says. I don’t let people change me. And I never really fully understood until a few years back when here’s what it really means. And I, I didn’t ask him about this, but it dawned on me I’m like, oh gosh, that makes perfect sense. Because many times we think people, you know, we think, for example, that let’s say a person has really broken. And then a person who has a lot of money will often say, and I’ve seen this money can change people. Now for me. Candidly, I do well financially. And I think many years ago when I didn’t have money and if I came into money or started creating a lot of money, like multiple seven figures, it probably would’ve changed me.
And even at my financial let’s say station now. If you see me in Sedona, I’m still running around on my flip flops. My T-shirts and that’s about it. And I even buy t-shirts at like target. I mean, I don’t need to impress anybody. So, and I’m not saying I’m any better or any worse than anyone else, but here’s where I’m going with this. So, I’m getting to a point I promise. Is when he said that I don’t let things change me. What he meant was is he doesn’t let things change his internal state. There’s the, there’s a note, the internal state. Now, let me give you an example of what I mean by that. And then let’s see how this applies to your own life. Okay as long as I have known him. I’m not exaggerating, not even one, 100th of 1%. I’ve always seen him be. Steady. Calm. At peace. Pretty much, like I said, just a calm pool of water. He’s always just very graceful and very loving and very kind and very peaceful. And he has a really good sense of humor. I mean, he’s like really a joy to be around as my brother-in-law and as me, Nagual and my Shaman.
But he’s just, he’s a lot of fun and he’s a really, really, really good guy. But what a lot of people do. And it’s based upon how these are tied together. What I started with reactivity. People will react to something. And then what they do is they let that change their perceptions or their reality about the person they’re reacting to. So, let’s look at that for, for a minute. So, let’s say that somebody keeps triggering you. And they trigger you and trigger you. Then, what you do is you change how you treat that person based upon their triggers. Whereas him. Number one, I’ve never seen him triggered. And secondly, it just, he wouldn’t, because he’s not triggered. He doesn’t go there and let the person change the way he responds to the person. I have seen people be. And their voice tone. In their wording, I’ve seen them be spiteful or angry with him or whatever. And let’s see, for example, that somebody is angry with you.
What you or many people tend to do is get angry back with the person, angry at them. Guess what changed you? Where I see him go is okay. Okay. And he always stays calm. Okay. Okay. Okay. And he always leaves it at that. So, he’s not letting other people change him based upon their reactivity or based upon what’s in front of him in the world. Another big one right now. Three bowls, three big wins in life. That changed people a lot. Our money. Health. And relationships. So, think about changing for a minute. Look at how people change externally. They get in their relationship. And I want to point out any relationship you’re in. If you’re listening to this podcast, I would doubt very seriously that you’re being, being, you know, human trafficked. What I mean is, is you’re in the relationship that you choose to be in. So, then what happens is it doesn’t go right? Because you didn’t do well, you chose the wrong person.
Then what happens is you use that to go to the opposite end of the spectrum saying, well, I’m not going to be in a relationship anymore. No way. I’m going to be single for the rest of my life. No way will I be in a relationship again? Notice what you’ve done. You’ve let your reaction to that person. And how they respond to you changes you. Now when I first started working with him. 27 years ago. His mentor, a shaman, Don Juan said to me, that one of the most important things in life, we can be is impeccable. And I don’t know if it was me or someone else. We said, well, what does it mean to be impeccable? And he said there were four pillars to impeccability. And Don Xavier and I chatted about this for a minute yesterday. The four pillars and they can take you and dawn on you, because I’m still working on the four pillars. They can take you a lifetime and longer. But the four pillars to impeccability. Our number one. Erasing your past history and letting go of the past, the past does not exist. Number two. Letting go of your ego and specifically letting go of yourself, is important. Look what you did to me, me, me, me, me, me get out of my way. How could you do that to me? You should do this for me. You shouldn’t say that to me. It’s all self-importance but we don’t realize it’s self-importance and that’s all ego.
The third one I’ve mentioned before on a lot of people do not understand the meaning of it. Balance many of us think it’s all 3-d ego balance. It’s not, it’s higher mind with the physical body human balance. Meaning, let’s say the spiritual balance with the physical body balance and the 3d life and the 3d ego balance and balancing them all. The number four was a big one. Anytime you’re in fear, you’re into this and that is attachment. And when we let go of attachment, we find the balance between the higher and the lower. And by the way, everything I’m talking about when you work from the higher everything, I’m talking about in this episode becomes a lot easier because why, something I often say is in this world, but not of this world. And when you’re working with a higher mind, most often in many times, a lot of the things that set you off in the 3d world. Ah, sigh. No longer set you off.
And then ego letting go of yourself, importance. This is an episode. I mean, this concept, I could do 10 episodes on letting go of your self-importance. And that basically is all about. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And how do you treat me? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me and what you do and what you say to me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And how, what you do and how, what the world does affects me. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. That’s self-importance. And then finally. Letting go of your past. You know, as you’ve heard me say before, probably there is nothing to do with the present moment. It does not exist. See, when we started this episode that time’s already gone and when we’re done in the few minutes that time’s not here. Nothing exists except this word right now. Now those words are already gone. Now, now those last two now’s are gone now.
So, we have to be in the now. And when we find it, this can be a lifetime. It can be a lifetime of. Let’s say what’s the word. It can be a lifetime occupation, meaning not like work, but meaning you’re occupied with it for a lifetime. You can spend a lifetime of attention on this as well. But when we find ourselves being impeccable, what we do not want to do? Is let externals. Let the world change. We do not want to let the world change that impeccability because when we do that, we’re no longer impeccable and being impeccable is one of the most powerful things that you can be in this lifetime. So, as I just said, but maybe saying it a different way or even the same way as when we learn. And it can take many, many years. It can take a short amount of time as well. Who knows? It’s up to you. But when we learn to create impeccability. The key and when we’re being impeccable, the key is not to let things outside of us change us.
So, once we find that space center itself when we let go of the self-importance and it doesn’t matter. You know, I laugh at the old movies. It just, and it’s, it’s cultural. Somebody said something about my mother and those are fighting words. Who cares? You’re taking it personally. And when you’re taking it personally, you’re in your ego. Specifically, you’re in your self-importance. So, when we, when we become. Impeccable. Then in that place, as I just said, what we do not want to do is let the world change or challenge that impeccability. Now, I’m speaking out of turn here. I’ve not asked him about this, but I’m assuming. What comes next is we are on a higher path. To, you know, obviously spiritual evolution. But to, to spiritual mastery. If there is such a thing. All right, so your takeaways, and again, I apologize a bit for jumping around and mangling, but I knew hopefully that some of you guys would find value in the conversation I had with him. And hopefully I can, I could convey it to you in a way you could find nuggets.
But here’s your transformational takeaway? When we react, we change. And when we change, we change based on and because of external circumstances, and when we do that, we let those external circumstances pull us out of our peace of mind and out of balance. I remember I have it written down in a journal, but it’s always been at the forefront of my mind. In 1999, when I lived in New York city, Don Xavier called me. And we talked about, he talked to me about going on a, on a trip to Peru with him. To do sacred journey. And he said to me, I’ve always remembered this phrase. And if you’ve listened for any amount of time, you’ve heard it. But what I ask you on a request that you look at is how well do you manage the phrase? And the concept. And the phrase is. We can’t do anything well without peace of mind. Think about that, we can’t do anything well without peace of mind. And when you’re reacting, you do not have peace of mind.
When you are not impeccable, you do not have peace of mind. Let me just say it again or reiterate. When you are in a state of peace of mind you are in a state of wellbeing. And when you’re in a state of wellbeing. That is your highest frequency. And when you are in that state as I talked about as I just alluded to. When you’re in that state and that moment you were in silence of mind. Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you over in another episode. Bye-bye.
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