EPISODE 259: “What Are You Worth?”
We have talked for seven weeks now about identity and we have talked about some external things and ways of BEing but what about internally? What about your self-worth as it relates to your identity?
What is your intrinsic worth? What do you think you are worth?
Do you determine your self-worth on your own knowing of yourself or do you and have you let the world determine your worth and value? Does society’s perceptions of you help you determine your own value and worth?
I talk about a lot of things in this episode but I also talk about being gay and how that completely annihilated my own sense of self-value and worth earlier in life.
I learned from my parents what my value was and was not in the world and the same probably goes for you as well.
Like I asked before, do you determine your own worth, or does the world do it for you, and, if you said you do it yourself, as you 100% certain of that?
The world overall, as a whole will teach you to find little value in yourself because people can only find value in you based on the value they can find in themselves. And, most people struggle with self-worth issues.
I want to go deep inside you, at least with a question: How do you FEEL about yourself? Not what do you think of yourself but how do you feel about yourself?
How you feel about yourself is the degree to which you value yourself and if you don’t feel good about yourself it’s time to raise your self-worth.
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You’re listening to the Transform your Life from the Inside Out podcast. This episode is part of the identity series. And it’s titled What Are You Worth? You know, when it comes to self-value and self-worth. Many of us make our value or create our value or determine our value based upon the value that other people hold for us. That’s a mistake. I did that for many, many years of my life. And it took me a long time to recognize that. My value I have to find that inherently. And not externally, I can’t find my value. From how people in the world perceive me or value me. I did that for many years and it led to feelings of low self-worth. I recognized I had to find my true value. My inherent value in me first. I don’t know where you are in life, but many people. Even when they don’t recognize it. They deal with low self-value. So no matter where you are in the world or what you think about yourself, listen to this episode because you’ll probably find something in it for you. Keep listening.
Hi, I’m Jim Fortin, and you’re about to start Transforming your Life from the Inside Out with this podcast. I’m widely considered the leader in Subconscious Transformation. And I’ve coached super achievers all around the world for over 25 years. Here, you’re going to find no rah-rah motivation, and no hype. Because this podcast is a combination of Brain Science, Transformational Psychology, and Ancient Wisdom, all rolled into one to take your life to levels, you’ve never thought possible. If you’re wanting a lot more in life, to feel better, to heal, to have peace of mind, to feel powerful and alive, and to bring more abundance and prosperity into your life. And this podcast is for you. Because you’re going to start learning how to master your mind and evolve your consciousness. And when you do that, anything you want, then becomes possible for you. I’m glad you’re here.
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Okay. So, this episode is titled, What Are You Worth? Before we go into that, we have done, I believe seven episodes that are related to identity. We’ve talked about in one episode. Who Are You? And then What Makes You Matter? We talked about the Patterns Of Your Life. We talked about, Do You Value Your Value? We also talked about your Identity as A Self Fulfilling Prophecy. We talked about your Identity Confirms Itself. And then we talked about last, What Is Your Message? And today we’re going to talk about What Are You Worth? What I want to do today is I want to personalize this for your bet. A lot of the things that I’ve been talking about might be not really so much cerebral, but maybe more external for you. They’re concepts that you’re learning. But when it comes to your own worth, you don’t have to learn that. So, to speak, you can look at how you feel about yourself and you know, what your self-worth is, you know, what you think you deserve. You know what you think you don’t deserve. And that’s what I want to look at today.
You know, I find that interesting. It crossed my mind today. A couple of months ago, the queen of England transitioned over Queen Elizabeth and from what I know watching, by the way, I thought it was really good. The crown on Netflix and, you know, years of history and watching the queen and the pomp and circumstances and the Royal family and everything else. What I’ve found really interesting is I asked myself. How would I interact if I were in that culture? I mean, I definitely understand the, the position and having respect for people. But what I don’t understand is subjugating yourself to another human being. Having to bow to another human being because they were born with a particular title that didn’t earn it. They were born with it and it doesn’t even matter if they earned it or not bowing to another person.
I go back to a story that many years ago. Don Juan shared with me. He was a mentor to my brother-in-law Don Xavier, both shamans and sorcerers. And he was talking to me, and he said, you know, you have this, and these are the words that he uses. You have an executive and he’s in a nice Mercedes-Benz. And it drives up to the corner and he comes to a stoplight and he looks at a homeless guy standing there at the corner. And he snarls at the homeless guy and looks down at him. And the homeless guy looks at the guy in the Mercedes and he snarls and looks down at him. Which is better the reality neither is better. They’re both human beings and both of these human beings was judging each other because the other human being did not live up to their value system of the world. Therefore, they were denigrating the other human being that they held a lower value for. That’s what humans do is they place values on things and in reality, we’re all extremely, extremely valuable. But what I want to do first is. I want to ask you a question. And that question is this. Do you determine your own worth and your own value or do you let the world do it for you? Do you let society do it for you? Do you let people’s perceptions do it for you.
I want to share an ancient story with you. It goes like this. A young man went to see a wise man. And the reason he went to see the wise man is because he was tormented. With feelings of worthlessness. And he wanted to die he even thought about committing suicide. And he said, oh, wise master. I feel worthless and I seek your wise advice. Everyone tells me that I am stupid. I’m a fool. I’m a failure I’m ugly I’m no good and I’m not going to amount to anything in life. I beg you to help me. The wise man looked at the young man. And he said, okay, but I’m busy right now. I have an urgent matter and I need to take care of this immediately. If you can help me with that first. I will gladly help you. And the young man said, okay, So the wise man took off a ring. He had a really amazing ring with a really beautiful gemstone in it. And he said here, Take this ring take my horse and go to the market square. I need to sell this ring to pay off some debts. So, here’s the thing. Get a decent price for this ring and do not under any circumstances do not settle for anything less than one gold coin.
The young man hopped on the horse and off to the market square. He went. And he started walking through the Bazaar through all the craters and everything else. And he started asking them hundreds of them. If they wanted to buy the ring and a lot of traders looked at the ring. And they laughed at him. And they laughed because he wanted gold for the ring. And all of them lost interest. Some even mocked him and berated him and made him feel bad about himself. There was one trader in particular who took the time to look at the ring. And he explained to the young man that the ring really wasn’t valuable. It wasn’t even worth a single piece of gold and the creator said. This one person talking to him. Said, maybe. Maybe you can get some silver for this indefinitely some copper. And this young man talked to a lot of people. And they all rejected him and he felt even worthless because of the amount of rejection. That he had gotten and that he knew he had to go back to the old man, the wise man and explain what happened. So we got back on the horse and he went back. And he said wise master. I was unable to carry out your request. He said it a vast I could have maybe gotten a couple of pieces of silver for this, but you told me not to agree to anything less than gold. But they told me in the marketplace. That there is that worth that much? It’s not even worth one gold coin.
And the master said. That’s a very important point my boy. He said before trying to sell a ring. Wouldn’t it be a great idea to establish the value of the ring. How valuable it really is. So tell you what we can ask a jeweler. Someone who’s an expert at this. We can ask them what the ring is worth. So take my horse and go to the jeweler and ask him what his price would be for the ring. However, whatever he offers you, it doesn’t matter what he offers. You. You have to understand. No matter what he offers you. Do not take the offer instead. Come back to me with a ring and tell me what his offer was. The young man, once again, Got on the horse and went to the jeweler. The jeweler examined the ring very carefully. And looked at it for a long time, under a piece of magnifying glass. And then he weighed on a scale. And then he looked at the young man and he said, Tell your wise friend that right now, I can’t give him more than 58 gold coins for it but if he gives me some time, All by the ring for 70 gold coins. The young man was in shock. He thinks the jeweler and he took the ring, and he went back to see the wise man. And the wise man said remember my boy that you were like the ring. Your precious. Your unique and only a real expert can appreciate your true value.
So, when you were in the market You are wasting your time wandering through the market and heeding the opinion of any old fool, any old trader in the market. So I ask you who’s the expert. What is the expert and determining your value. That’s what I asked you earlier is it other people or is it metaphorically the jeweler and who is the, or what is the jeweler and your life? Now many people might call it let’s say God. Some people might call it the Divine Field. Some people might call it the Quantum Force. I call it consciousness and by virtue of being conscious and now being conscious that you are consciousness. You’re inherently valuable as a being. Like I started the earlier the thing that I said about queen Elizabeth. There’s no human being more valuable than another human being. Of course, we do different things on the planet that society values in different ways. But, but when it comes down to the inherent value of a cosmic being. No being has more value than another being. And every being on this planet has the right to be.
Myself. My life. This one was a hard one for me. You know, I don’t know how long you’ve listened to the podcast, but I’ve talked about it before, is that I’m gay. And for many years, I devalued myself because of that, actually I had low self-worth because of the fact that I’m gay. Now why, how come. The reason why is that many people in the world devalued me and they taught me to devalue myself. You know, heck even 20 years ago, an American president tried to outlaw gay marriage as if it’s a bad thing and destruction of the family. I saw this billboard one time it was by a church. And it’s actually pretty it’s pretty humorous. It said, we’re sorry if gay marriage offends the sanctity of your fourth marriage. I thought that was pretty humorous. But anyway, you know, speaking of marriage, when you think about it in United States alone, 50% of marriages end up in divorce. And of those that divorce, they usually get divorced in the first eight years. Myself I have been in a 21 year. Very happy, very loving, very supportive gay relationship. And I’m doing great. I mean a lot of people, I’m the epitome of a really stable and really good relationship. So, you know, who are we letting place our value on us? And I have to say, I’ve talked about it before.
Even my mother my mother of all people, the person who’s supposed to love us most, our mother and father. Our mother taught me to devalue myself. By her devaluing me because she wants said, I love you. But I don’t approve of you being gay or what she didn’t realize is that bullshit. She didn’t love me she loved me conditionally and the way that she knew how to love me, but she didn’t love me conditionally. And she was placing her value system on me and as an effect of that. I was literally determining my own worth on the value system that she held for me. So, the point of the episode is this. My mother, my father and the president of the United States 20 years ago when I was just air quote, getting over and starting up my devaluation and starting to value myself. These per these people determine my worth, but you know what. I allowed it. I allowed these people to determine my value based on their value systems. And even to a larger part, they could only value me to the exact extent that they valued themself. Because if we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love other people. We don’t know how, if we don’t value ourselves, we can’t value other people because we don’t even know how to value ourself.
So I let people who held little value in themselves. Teach me how to value myself. And the world overall we’ll teach you the very same thing. The world will teach many of us that we are a little value and that comes from, and based upon the values that these external things in the world, the value they hold for themself, you know, when I look back at my father and many of you can relate to this. My father was an abusive alcoholic. So the question is as I look back, I have him empathy for my father more than anything else. Because my father was an abusive alcoholic. And I look at now, if he was an abusive alcoholic and he was abusive to me. My gosh how was he to himself? How abusive was he to himself? Look what he did to his body. He died he transitioned at 64 years old cirrhosis of the liver. He destroyed his body. I remember in the later years that I saw him; he would sit down and drink a half a gallon of Jack Daniels. I’m not kidding but if you look at that, How much did he value his body? And that is a man. Who taught me as a child to value myself. So, the point is most likely. The degree to which you value yourself today was indoctrinated by the world around you and the society that we live in. And in particular, our friends and family. They are the ones who teach us what our value is. So what I want to ask you right now. Go deep. Go deep in yourself. No, one’s going to know this, but you and me. I won’t know it, but I’m asking you the question.
How. How do you feel about yourself. How much do you value yourself. How much do you value your skills and abilities? Now of course that’s, self-esteem the skills and abilities. It’s not self-worth. But it’s all related. How much do you value your gifts, your talents, your abilities, your voice, how about this, your contribution to the world? Do you share, like we talked about what is my message and just a recent episode. Do you value your message and your service to the world? Or do you play a down. I think it was Marianne Williamson who said something along the lines. It was pretty powerful. In my opinion, I’m pondering here. I’m trying remember what it was, but it was something along the lines of it’s our greatness in us that scares us. Because I don’t care who you are or where you are right now, listening. You have some amazing things in you. But it doesn’t matter what matters is what you can see in yourself. And what you can see in yourself comes down to how much you value yourself.
Alright, before we get into today’s episode, I have a special invitation for you guys. All of you, loyal listeners, many of you write in and you ask questions about things that are in the podcast. Well, not only do I want to answer those questions, I want to coach you through those questions. The reason why is that we can only ask a question based upon where we are in our identity. And many times people are asking questions from a blind spot and wanting that blind spot to be answered, not recognizing they’re still lost. So what I’m going to do, and this is only for you guys that listen to the podcast, I’m going to be doing a live session where I’m going to be actually taking hot seats, meaning you guys can volunteer or I’m calling on you guys and I’m going to coach you through whatever challenges you’re currently having in life right now. You can go to jimfortin.com/identity, jimfortin.com/identity to get registered, and the registration link will also be in the show notes. Okay, let’s get to the episode.
I talked about Don Juan a little earlier. He said to me one time. Now Don Xavier, my brother-in-law’s what’s called a Nagual N A G U A L is a shaman and a sorcerer. And he’s my Nagual. And Don Juan was his Nagual. And Don Juan said to me, one time he goes, it doesn’t matter what I can see in you. It doesn’t matter what your Nagual can see in you. What matters what matters is what you can see in yourself. But the question is what have you learned to see in yourself? What have you learned not to see in yourself? What have you been indoctrinated with that’s robbed you of looking deeper into yourself at your special talents and your gifts and things that you can do. That other people can do them as well as you. Because see who you are. Who you are see what you are is a human being. Who you are, is the consciousness in that being. And by virtue of being consciousness. And you have consciousness in your physical body. That’s priceless because it’s consciousness that created the universe. As I said earlier, it’s just our human socialization and our human blindness and us forgetting who we are. We forget that we are that consciousness when we come to the planet. When we’re born for lack of better examples, it’s like we’re born onto the planet as this divine priceless being. And it’s like someone puts a paper bag over our head when we’re born and we forget our divinity. We forget our divineness we forget the, the infinity of our consciousness. And when we forget that, we lose the value in that.
So, how do we use this in this episode? I mean, we can’t sit here. I don’t know if you can, but I can’t. I can’t sit here and go Ooh okay. My self-worth is at 74.3% today. Another day, that’s a pretty shitty day-to-day. My self-worth is at 41.7 damn. I am down 35 points. I need to work on my self-worth today. It is not how it happens. But what I look at is this. Is what do you feel like you’re worth? Ask yourself deep down. I want you to ask yourself a question. This is your transformational takeaway, because see, this is a good barometer to your level of self-value and yourself self-worth. Is, I want you to think about something that you really want in life. Something that you really are working towards, you really want to bring into your life. It can be a relationship. It can be a better job. It can be money it can be whatever you want it to be. Now here’s your work I can’t do this for you. And I wish that I could, but you have to deep dive. And you have to ask yourself this question. Do I really, really, in my heart think and know. And believe that I can have this.
If your answer is yes. It’s simply a matter of process and application. That’s keeping it out of your life. If your answer, which I suspect many of you, when you’re being completely honest with yourself. You’ve given up on yourself, you get into resignation, you get into a lack of value. I don’t deserve, I want that, but I don’t deserve it. And when you ask yourself, Do I think I can have this. And if your answer is no. What that means is you need to work on your self-value and your self-worth. I want to share a story here really quickly is even if you might be very productive in life, you might be creating a lot. That doesn’t mean you have high self-esteem, high self-worth, and high self-value. I had a client one time. She was one of the top 10 producing real estate agents in the state of California. And she and I were talking and I was coaching her. And I noticed that I was seeing signs of low self-worth and low self-value. And she started arguing and goes, Jim, are you kidding? There’s no way I can be one of the top 10 producing agents in California and have low self-esteem. And I put her through a couple of assessments and it showed that she really did have low self-esteem. See many times when people have low self-esteem, they use that or low self-value like, Nixon did and LBJ, Lyndon Baines Johnson. They use that as a catalyst to produce in life. Why? Because they want to excel because they want to prove to the world, which to really crawling, to prove to themselves that they do have value. So, I don’t know where you are in the world, but your takeaway is this, ask yourself. Do I think I can really have that thing that I want and life. If the answer is no, you have to go to work on yourself. And if your answer’s yes. That’s awesome but I would still tell you to look a little deeper because you may have some, you know, low self-worth, low self-esteem lurking somewhere. And you’re actually producing and creating in the world and getting ahead in the world. Because you’re overcompensating. For that lack of self-worth. Okay. Thanks for listening and I’ll catch you over on the next episode. Take care. Bye-bye.
Okay. So, I don’t know if this was your first episode or your 200. Regardless, I’m inviting you to join me and join the conversation inside my private podcast Facebook community. In the community, we dive deeper on the topics that I cover here on the podcast. And it’s a place for you to share your realizations and really it’s a place for you to connect with other people, just like you, who are transforming their lives from the inside out. Plus, you’re going to be the first to know about exclusive Q and A sessions that I do with me and other special perks that be bringing to you another listeners of the podcast. To be part of the community, head over to jimfortin.com/jointheconversation. Again, jimfortin.com/jointheconversation.
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